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Traumafessions :: Reader Heystu3 on the Tristar Pictures Unicorn (?)

September 28th, 2010 by aunt john · 2 Comments

My personal trauma, I’ve always felt, is pretty random and a little embarrassing…the Tristar Unicorn. At a young age, girls are encouraged to embrace the majestic image of the unicorn. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against unicorns, I had the Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper to prove it, but this one in particular never sat well with me.

I think what bothered me the most was the crescendo of music. It starts off nice and soft, and before you know it, you’ve got a mythical beast galloping toward you with the horn section blaring! This opening sequence bothered me so much that when my family went to see HOOK in theaters, I had to sit in the lobby with my mom until the the unicorn had run its course.

With such absurd fear, of course the inevitable ridicule ensued. My two older sisters would taunt me by humming the Tristar theme. All in all, let’s just say I wouldn’t be fazed if this horse went down NEVER ENDING STORY, Swamp of Sadness-style…perhaps then I could have watched a movie without an initial panic attack!

UNK SEZ: Wait a minute Heystu3! You have been running in fear of that unicorn for so long and you never stopped and looked behind you to see that it is only a friendly Pegasus! Unlike the monstrous and evil Unicorn, the winged Pegasus loves all humans and would never cause them harm!

Thanks for the trauma Heystu3 and thanks to ULTRA GROSS for the yummy unicorn meat!

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2 responses so far ↓

  • 1 JergyNo Gravatar // Sep 28, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    This reminds me a memory I can’t shake. My aunt (the one that threw The Exorcist in the freezer) and her three boys lived across the alley from me so I used to see them lots. The middle one was obsessed with horses. Any kind of horse you could find. And LOVED the tri-star opening.  So much so, that any film that had it would cause him to stand up in the living room and stretch his arms out as the wings of pegasus unfurled.  It’s as if he wanted to fly with him. Of course him being around 6 or 7 at the time and us (his older brother and me) being a mature and much cooler 10-11 would tease him like crazy.  It’s a wonder he still talks to me.

  • 2 Billy VNo Gravatar // Sep 28, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    That is so cute!

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