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Traumafessions :: Reader Melanie G. on Tales From the Darkside

October 17th, 2010 by aunt john · 6 Comments

I’m relieved and a bit anxious to get off my chest and confess the trauma which has eaten slowly away at my soul for years…

The TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE theme/intro. What evil beast composed that horrific bell chime tone? Not since the world infamous “Tubular Bells” has a simple bell theme made my heart race ’til I sweat. Then, there’s that guy’s voice.

OH, DEAR LORD, HIS VOICE!

It’s like listening to Satan’s alcoholic grandfather read you a nighty night story before he tucks you in and slices your throat.

Then…wait for it….at the end…. the ridiculously loud end note where all possible notes on that Casio keyboard are pressed at once and you can’t help but wince in terror. And WTF is up with the beautiful nature/farm scenes turning into the demonic forest filled with hideously petrified wood all burnt up and a black sky?

What kind of EVIL TRICKERY IS THAT!

I remember it playing late night when I was about 7 or so and having to cover my ears and yell to cover up the sound. This show, along with MONSTERS and FREDDY’S NEW NIGHTMARES were family favorites, don’t ask me why. My brother used to jack me and call me into his room and blast it on high when I walked in. I would cry and cry and cry….in fear. That dude’s voice and those bells were coming after me, and I was unable to defend myself against it’s evil infiltration of my brain. SCARY doesn’t even describe it. I was so traumatized by this I was flipping the channels late night a few weeks back and came upon it and had nightmares for weeks! WEEKS! Just from seeing the name of the show on the menu guide.

Thanks, TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE.

I hate you.

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6 responses so far ↓

  • 1 jamisingsNo Gravatar // Oct 17, 2010 at 11:26 am

    Oh aren’t brothers horrible? My 3 older brothers used to sing Barnes & Barnes’ song Fishheads to me until I cried.

  • 2 sob317No Gravatar // Oct 17, 2010 at 12:17 pm

    One of my favorite TV intros…I have all the seasons of Darkside on DVD and I have yet to fast forward that part no matter how times I’ve heard it.
    Reminds me of being a teenager – coming home late on the weekend, raiding the fridge and dialing in some Darkside.

  • 3 ZombetteNo Gravatar // Oct 17, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    To this day I get a little freaked out if I am alone watching this.  I have to either mute it or cover my ears and hum.  It amazes me the amount of people that are bothered by this into/outro.

  • 4 ZappedAgainNo Gravatar // Oct 18, 2010 at 9:54 am

    great show! i have the entire series and imo the bests: 
    “the last car”
    “the new man”
    “going native”
    “do not open this box”
    “word processor of the gods”
    “love hungry” (?)
    “monster in the closet”
    and of course the 2 halloween episodes; “halloween candy” and “trick or treat” which was actually the pilot episode.
    monsters was a great show too! farmers daughter was an episode that stood out for me. wasn’t there one called “finger” ? pretty sure it was the very last episode. VERY freaky

  • 5 TVSANo Gravatar // Oct 20, 2010 at 2:31 am

    “…But Not as Brightly Lit…” John Harrison, was the man. He should have stuck to Composing. I just finished listening to “Father’s Day” from Creepshow on Live 365. If I’m not mistaken, Bill Paxton from Aliens, etc. was a part of Barnes and Barnes’ “FishHeads.” 

  • 6 Evil_TwinNo Gravatar // Nov 20, 2010 at 12:17 am

    I agree, I’m a 41 year old male and the intro music still may be the creepiest intro ever.

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