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Traumafessions :: Reader Kami S. on Closed Doors

September 12th, 2008 by aunt john · 34 Comments

Now, at this time of writing, I am 15 years old. I regularly watch violent anime. Recently I was watching WHEN A STRANGER CALLS, and poking fun at it throughout. I often watch documentaries about ghosts, and read about them. Halloween is my favorite holiday, partly because of all the scary things. I’ve written about sociopathic serial killers before. I love the horror genre, and often know who’s going to die first in said movies. And yet, this one, common, everyday object scares me.

A closed door.

No really.

Stop laughing.

There’s a reason, and I’m about to share, as I drown my sorrows in Sunkist.

When I was very little, possibly around 5 or 6, my dad was a huge science fiction junkie. Very often, the SciFi Channel was on, and I remember him having alien-related objects around the house. What scared me was this scene, possibly a commercial, but I’m not sure.

What happened was that a door was shown. After a few seconds, a cracking sound was heard, as a decaying hand broke through said door. Suddenly, this zombie/skeleton/ghoul thing, with white shaggy hair, sticks its head through the crack. I don’t remember the rest, but I think I remember it saying something along the lines of “Hey. Want to watch a new show?” Or something. I don’t remember exactly.

As a result, even at my age, I have issues with closed doors. Whenever I’m in a room alone with one, and it’s the only exit, I think of what is behind that door, and get anxious, particularly worried that there is something behind said door. In fact, I keep the door open a crack usually, so I can see any ghouls that will try to bust open my door, in the name of their show. Thank you so much, SciFi, for giving me a fear of doors!

UNK SEZ: First of all Kami, I would like to congratulate you on your honesty and bravery. I can assure you that you are in capable hands, as I have decades of afternoon talk show watching under my belt. I have also read every self-help book on the market from “Why is Everyone Looking at Me Funny?” to “Holy Moly, Your Shadow is Chasing You.” In fact, I know exactly what your problem is. The technical term that learned folks like myself like to use is “a-door-aphobia.” The good news is, you’ve already made the first step toward recovery by admitting to a group of strangers that you’ve got bats in your belfry. Now the healing can begin…

My father, Dr. Satanstein, taught me long ago that the best way to get over my fear of water was to be thrown in the deep end of our pool with my feet chained to a radiator. (Sounds harsh, but guess who just bought a new snorkel!) It’s called tough love Kami; it ain’t easy but it works. Above and below I present you with a scary collection of doors to stare at until you are no longer scared of them. I also suggest that you play ring and run on at least two of your neighbors before going to bed. Good luck Kami, I have every faith in your recovery.

As for everyone else, can you identify the movies these doors are from? Some are easy and some will make you want to grab torches and storm Kindertrauma Castle. (Remember #1 is above the post!) Leave your guesses in the comments section. I’ll post the answers on Monday! (And yes EVIL ON TWO LEGS, I know you just did something like this but you’ve heard that old chestnut about rip-offs being the sincerest form of flattery right? Besides this is my revenge, now I’m in control! Mwahahahaha!)

UNK: I hope that I do not have to point out that this last one is not a door at all but an adorable little puppy-doggie. I just wanted to illustrate to dear Kami that sometimes there is something very nice behind a closed door (windows of course are a different story). Extra points for whoever can name the puppy and identify what # door he was found behind!

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Tags: Traumafessions

34 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Amanda By NightNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 12:43 am

    I think #5 is Phantasm, and I know the dog as Muffin from Friday the 13th Part 2 and geez, it’s scarier than anything behind those doors!

    This was a great article. I think Kami is onto something… the idea is kind of creeping me out!

    Oh, and is #12 Profondo Rosso? I’m not so sure…

  • 2 AineChiNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 1:15 am

    Kami here. I decided to make a wordpress account, to comment on this. Not sure if I did it right, though. ^_^;

    I must say, thank you for posting this. Now that I think of it, the first image at the top of the page looks a lot like my scary door from when I was little. Do you know the source? I have a sneaking suspicion that the scene in question may be from Tales of the Crypt.

    I was kind of suspecting this to be a Name That Trauma, so I was surprised, to be honest.

    I’m sorry if I really do sound like a crazy person. I somewhat am, to be brutally honest, but not to the point where every single door is out to get me. Also, I think the dog is from the tenth door, but that’s a wild guess. XD

  • 3 Theauldlangsyne.No Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 2:45 am

    I love the closed hotel room doors at the Earle, in Barton Fink, oh, and 2001: A Space Odyssey:
    “Open the pod bay door, HAL…”

  • 4 micksterNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 7:48 am

    I only have time to identify a few before running out the door to work.                                                     1.The Shining                                                                   5. Phantasm
    12. The Fog
    19. Texas Chainsaw Massacre
    Some of the others look familiar, but I don’t have the time to recall them now.

  • 5 joshacid37No Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 9:54 am

    I’ll fill in some unguessed ones:  I believe 6 is The Howling, 7 is Poltergeist, 8 might be A Nightmare On Elm Street (not sure…the wire on the handle is my only lead), 11 is The Exorcist, and 15 might be Psycho.

  • 6 Pax RomanoNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 10:52 am

    That final one would be from F13 pt 2 … and that little mutt would be “Muffin”.

  • 7 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    you don’t sound like a crazy person at all! we were just joking with you. In fact, your traumafession is one of my favorites of all time.  I absolutely get what you are talking about. ANYTHING could be behind that closed door.  It takes somebody with imagination to wonder what if? or what’s the worst that could happen? If more people thought like you the world would be a better place.

    In fact, Any artist looking at a blank canvas or writer looking at a blank page is pretty much looking at that same door and wondering what is behind it. You are officially my role model for the day.


    please do not speak ill of Muffin, we are currently in negotiations with his manager to take him on as a Kindertrauma spokesperson/mascot. (crazy Wanda was unavailable) 
    We have to compete with Mr. Canacorn’s spaghetti cat! !!

  • 8 drphibes303No Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    ok here are my 2 cents
    3 john carpenters the thing?
    4 halloween 3
    9 or 10 is salems lot i think
    14 fright night
    16 think stage fright because it kind of looks like back stage with the maniques and the keybox

  • 9 kittyleclawNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 12:30 pm

    Pax done beated me to the punch; that thar be Muffin (an important tool in one of the series’ most memorable false endings).

    I wouldn’t go so far as to call him “adoreable” though. That dog tried to crossbreed with me.

  • 10 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    Here are some hints….
    (don’t look unless you have to)

    1 snow

    2 graffiti
    3 chocolate
    4 commercial
    5 ice cream truck
    6 broadcast
    7 closet
    8 furnace
    9 mother
    10 sights
    11 Ouija
    12 Dane
    13 Jester
    14 nazi
    15 feline
    16 “Going to a showdown”
    17 sack
    18 spine
    19 wheelchair
    20 I am Muffin

  • 11 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 12:58 pm


    You’re not down with Muffin either? I seriously have to reconsider him as a Kindertrauma mascot material. In any case this news should speed along negotiations with his people. He’s certainly not going to get that year supply of snausages he’s asking for.

  • 12 mamamiasweetpeachesNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 1:44 pm

    I am SO bad at this. The only ones that look familar are the HOWLING one and the PHANTASM one. And – oh yeah – Muffin. But I only recognize Muffin cuz I JUST saw that movie like 3 weeks ago.

  • 13 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    I suck at this stuff!!!!! If i see any person or thing out of context it is completely new and alien to me. I can bump into people that I work with everyday and if it’s not in the environment I associate them with they look like complete strangers to me. In all honesty the only ones I would get here are 1, 6 , 12 and Muffin!

  • 14 RATSAWGODNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 3:11 pm

    Both my therapists and layers have advised me to not spend my time around cute, small, bow’d doggies. Especially ones that have belonged to Amy Steel. Or Amy Steel HERSELF for that matter. I guess I just have to accept the fact that Amy Steel, deep down, really really wants to be with me, though for some reason she chooses to express this desire via restraining order, legal counsel and police intervention.

    Why Amy? WHY?!

  • 15 joshacid37No Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 4:09 pm

    RATSAWGOD: Technically doesn’t Muffin belong to that tall skinny-dipping girl who got killed after she found the guy hanging upside down with his throat cut?  [Spoiler Alert!]

    Though I’m sure Amy Steel must have adopted Muffin after the events of the movie.  Followed by many, many instances of someone or something scratching at Amy Steel’s door, her freaking out and grabbing the nearest pitchfork head, and it turning out to be Muffin every single time.

  • 16 micksterNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 5:01 pm

    Unkle, This is the best I can do with your helpful hints.             1 snow -The Shining              2 graffiti             3 chocolate             4 commercial Halloween III             5 ice cream truck- Phantasm             6 broadcast- The Howling             7 closet-Poltergeist             8 furnace-Nightmare on Elm Street             9 mother-Psycho             10 sights             11 Ouija-The Exorcist             12 Dane- The Fog             13 Jester-             14 Nazi-An American Werewolf in London             15 feline-             16 “Going to a showdown”             17 sack-Friday the 13th II             18 spine-             19 wheelchair- Texas Chainsaw Massacre             20 I am Muffin -Friday the 13th II

  • 17 sbdNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    Kami, listen to Unkle now.  As an old hand at crazy, trust me, you aren’t crazy.  Crazy is standing on your front lawn at night for an hour, unable to move and seeing a hand come out of the clouds, or walking around town with wads of cotton in your ears because you don’t want the noises in your head to leak out and disturb others.  I’ve only done one of those actually (guess which!) but don’t worry, I’m more or less fixed now…  As a parent and someone almost three times your age I can also confirm that crazy is doing anything that doesn’t make you happy so keep that in mind you young whippersnapper!

  • 18 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 5:32 pm

    Mickster, that is damn impressive. I will tell you that none of those is wrong. (although one of them should be a part 2)
    Here are some more hints on the others and by the way there is no way I’m waiting til monday to post the answers because I’m too much of a spaz to wait that long

    2 graffiti-mirror

    3 chocolate mine

    10 sights box

    13 Jester cane

    15 feline Val

    16 “going to a showdown” Savini

    18 spine Price

  • 19 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    Ginny Field (Amy Steel) absolutely adopted Muffin after the events in Friday the 13th part 2. That is, at least according to the fan fiction novel that I am currently working on. As of now it is over 1,000 pages long and documents the reluctant duo’s knack for solving crimes aboard a luxury liner whose coarse is set for adventure.

  • 20 micksterNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    I will change 9. Psycho II
    2 graffiti-mirror-Candyman
    3 chocolate mine I have no idea
    10 sights box-Hellraiser
    13 Jester cane I have no idea
    15 feline Val I have no idea
    16 “going to a showdown” Savini-Maniac
    18 spine Price-The Tingler

  • 21 Amanda By NightNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 6:04 pm

    I can tell by the clue for #16, it’s Maniac.

    I see I totally blew #12. I’m lame. Mickster however, is not…
    #14 Weirds me out and I don’t even know why…

  • 22 Amanda By NightNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    PS-That reminds me… please do a review of Maniac.

  • 23 Mariam67No Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 7:29 pm

    I agree 100%. Closed doors are scary because you don’t know what’s behind them! I was once at Lizzie Borden’s house on a tour and there was a closed door that gave me the creeps for some reason. I took a picture of it (I’m a big fan of ghost photography) and walked by it. As I went by, it opened! I screamed and jumped a mile. It turned out to just be a staff member, fortunately. 🙂
    When I was little I was terrified of mirrors! I thought I would look in one and there would be someone standing behind me.

  • 24 sbdNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 7:55 pm

    Amanda, 14 creeped me out too, even though I couldn’t identify it.  It’s so normal and homey that you just know really bad shit is going to come through any minute – as in fact, it does!

    Miriam, I couldn’t walk across still puddles when I was little – I’d get extreme vertigo and fear I was going to fall UP.

  • 25 Amanda By NightNo Gravatar // Sep 12, 2008 at 9:11 pm

    sbd, you are so right… it hits the fan big time.

    A great use of a closed door is in When a Stranger Calls Back. YIKES! Some of the tensest moments ever…

  • 26 AineChiNo Gravatar // Sep 13, 2008 at 12:36 am


    Heh. I thought so. I had just realized that what I wrote up sounded a little… odd at points. But, it was fairly normal by some standards. Also, I’m glad you actually felt somewhat inspired by it (if that’s the right word for it). XD

    SBD- You do have a point. I’m sorry about your incidents, and anything I might have said. I think my problems at worst are a tendency to slight anxiety. But, I learnt recently that it could be worse, a few months ago. But, it looks like doors are scary to others, judging by the comments.

    Now, I think 13 is from The Shining, the one with Jack Nicholson, 1 is from Tales of the Crypt, I presume, because as I said, it looks a lot like my scary door show, and the zombie looked a bit like the Cryptkeeper, now that I recall. 15 is the 1968 Night of the Living Dead, I guess, as well. These are all my guesses, however.

  • 27 Jeff AllardNo Gravatar // Sep 13, 2008 at 1:25 am

    Awesome blog! I haven’t read the other responses yet so I’m going to try my hand at placing these doors. Here goes: 1. The Shining 2. ? 3. ? 4. Halloween III 5. Phantasm 6. The Howling 7. Poltergeist 8. A Nightmare on Elm Street 9. Psycho II 10. Hellraiser 11. The Exorcist 12. The Fog 13. ? 14. An American Werewolf in London 15. The Leopard Man 16. Maniac 17. Friday the 13th Part 2 18. ? 19. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 20. Friday the 13th Part 2 #2 and #3 are really driving me nuts because I know I should know those. I want to say My Bloody Valentine for #3 but I have a feeling that’s not it. Anyhow – great blog! Although you left out one of my all-time favorite closed doors – the door that Clarice Starling approaches at the climax of Silence of the Lambs as Catherine Martin is screaming in the background. The POV shot pushing us forward as Clarice moves to open that door is perfect.

  • 28 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Sep 13, 2008 at 1:46 am


    You got the leopard man #15!!!!!! I was afraid nobody would get that! In fact all of yours are correct, even your suspicions about #3!!!!

  • 29 sbdNo Gravatar // Sep 13, 2008 at 3:24 am

    Kami, you offered no offense, and I took none.  Just wanted to show you where the bar was to hopefully make you feel better about yourself… 🙂

  • 30 halekotsiNo Gravatar // Sep 13, 2008 at 11:36 am

    It looks like #13 is the only one that hasn’t been guessed. I didn’t get it from the picture, but “jester/cane” sounds like “The House on Sorority Row”.

  • 31 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Sep 13, 2008 at 11:53 am

    That’s it! All that beer in the corner is for the party thats being thrown. Kami I totally get your guess of “the shining” for that one because it looks very much like the storage area of the overlook!

  • 32 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Sep 13, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    So here are the official answers because you all as a group correctly identified all of them!

    1 The Shining
    2 Candyman
    3 My Bloody Valentine
    4 Halloween 3
    5 Phantasm
    6  The Howling
    7 Poltergeist
    8 A Nightmare On Elm Street
    9 Psycho 2
    10 Hellraiser
    11 The Exorcist
    12 The Fog
    13 House on Sorority Row
    14 An American Werewolf In London
    15 The Leopard Man
    16 Maniac
    17 Friay the 13th part 2
    18 The Tingler
    19 The Texas Chainsaw Masssacre
    20 Muffin, who belongs to door #17
    Good job you guys. you really know your horror!

  • 33 mrcanacornNo Gravatar // Sep 14, 2008 at 3:41 pm

    How in the hell did I miss this entire post?  I was even name checked and everything.  Damn.

    This was a great topic, young Kami…and an awesome game, Auntie and Unk.  Honestly, I only could identify 4 doors and totally dropped the ball on Muffin.  For shame.  I deserve only a 2 SC rating…or is it a 2 Muffin rating?  Only time will tell.

  • 34 TheLurkerOnTheThresholdNo Gravatar // Dec 22, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    This seems to be essentially a Name That Trauma, Kami, and I’m pretty sure I know the answer seeing as I was old enough when that commercial played to find it annoying rather than scary. You see, it would play all. The. Freaking. Time. I mean it seems like they’d run it every single break!

    What you’re referring to is this old promo for something “Tales from the Crypt”-related; I think it might’ve been advertising the fact that the show was coming to the Sci-Fi Channel. We started off looking at a door in what soon proved to be a mock version of the bathroom set from “The Shining” . After a moment there was a disturbance on the other side of the door. The wood slowly started to give way, a hole broke in the middle (just like in the movie), and then The Crypt Keeper’s head popped out of the hole and he said, “Heeeeeere’s Cryptie!” And then he did that annoying giggle of his. I don’t remember how the rest went but it was probably something to the effect of the show’s logo appearing with some guy’s voice quickly saying that the show was coming to the channel soon.

    Again, they played this commercial over and over and over. I got sick of it quickly and probably so did most folks. It never once occurred to me, then or afterward, that little children might be watching, and to wonder how they’d react. People truly should be more sensitive about what they put on TV. But The Almighty Dollar does not permit for such considerations.

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