Of all horror films, GHOULIES II had the biggest impact on my life. This is not a point of contention, this is literal. The world is round, GHOULIES II scared me shitless. When I was 7 or 8, the babysitter let us watch the schlocky sequel that features a sequence of a man getting his cheeks chomped off by a bald ghoulie hiding in the toilet bowl. Of course, when you’re 7 years old, nothing is schlocky.

I was fucking terrified. My cheeks did not touch a toilet bowl for months.

Fact: DEAD MAN WALKING was inspired by my fate every time I made that journey to the bathroom. Every time I entered that porcelain closet of terror I knew, knew with more certainty than any supercomputers can muster, that a hideous, bald child of Lucifer was going to enjoy the flesh of my rump. Not only that, but it turned me off of horror for years. I would not touch the genre. I would not even be on the same floor in a house playing a horror movie. I am now 22 years old and read Fangoria while I take a dump.

Cute how the wheel of Kah turns.

Thanks Peter, I think you just singlehandedly justified the existence of this site with that TRAUMAFESSION! Where else can you read a tale like that folks? Well, for starters you might try HORRORS NOT DEAD The recently engaged (congrats!) Peter’s regular stomping ground. If it’s a unique take on the genre you’re looking for, look no further!