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It’s A Wonderful Sequel!

February 2nd, 2012 by unkle lancifer · 12 Comments

Folks are always so crabby about sequels but the darn things have given me more than they have taken away and therefore I will always defend them. In fact, any time somebody says they hate a person, place or thing, I always wish I could send them into an alternate “It’s a Wonderful Life!” type dimension where the source of their scorn does not exist and see how well they fare there. No, sequels are not always good but that bath water you just dumped out? There was a baby in there! Holy crap! You just killed a baby. As for me, if a magic meteor hit the planet and erased all sequels, here are the ten things that I would miss the most and immediately. Feel free to add what you would miss in the comments section!

THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1935)

I’m not alone in thinking I might like this sequel better than the film it sprung from. Doctor Preterious is a real hoot and if sequels didn’t exist, I’m afraid UNA O’CONNOR as Minnie would disappear too! That’s no good. And by the by, if you hate gay people then I must send you to a dimension where neither of the first two FRANKENSTEINs exist (as we know them) and guess what- there’s no HELLRAISER, CHUCKY or KRISTY MCNICHOL there either. It’s basically the lamest dimension ever.

PSYCHO II (1983)

PSYCHO is just the type of movie that nobody should be brave enough to wish a sequel for and yet sequels for it do exist and I think Part 2 is absolutely excellent. Some people think the less you know about a killer the more potent the horror but I, again, say hogwash to that. I’m grateful I got to see another side of Norman Bates (ANTHONY PERKINS). His relationship with Mary (MEG TILLY) who learns to have sympathy for the man she was raised to hate is one of my favorites in all of horror.

ALIENS (1986)

Everybody knows ALIENS is white-hot awesome but think of it this way; what if the character of Bishop never existed to prove that not all androids want to shove magazines down your throat? What if we never got to see Ripley’s maternal instinct make the lateral jump from cat lover to child saver? Yikes, I could have possibly ended up a PAUL REISER fan if this movie didn’t thoroughly convince me that he was a wretched person!

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS (1987)

I’m sorry but the original ELM STREET only has its originality to boast over Part 3. Really can we just use this movie as a permanent template for what a sequel could and should be? What a great idea to get talented people with imaginations that actually like horror films to helm this project rather than just any available schlub! Hollywood write that concept down on a post-it and put it on your fridge. Say it after me, “There are no bad sequels, only bad filmmakers.”

HALLOWEEN II (2009)

Back up townspeople! I can wave a torch too! Allow me to momentarily pretend that I have respect for those who don’t get this movie. If you want to see the most tragic death ever presented in a slasher film, it’s here. I guess not everybody is comfortable with a director pushing the boundaries of what a slasher film can convey and that’s their prerogative. I’ve watched this every Halloween since it has come out and this year I found out- so does my niece! Hmmm, maybe you have to come from a weird family to fully appreciate this movie. I say that as a joke but I may be on to something. As long as I’m talking HALLOWEEN sequels, I should also add that HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH (1982) is a vital part of my world.

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 (1981)

Thank God the Internet as it is presently was not around when this came out! I can hear the gripes now, “How could they kill Alice?” “Jason can’t be alive!” “How come what I imagined in my head is not what is on the screen?!” If FRIDAY neglected to stomp forward into Part 2, I’d have never known Ginny Field! And if it didn’t go on even further, I would have lost my pals Shelly, Tommy Jarvis and Maddy! Good God, Tina’s mom would be dust in the wind! What a horrible concept! Why am I torturing myself with these nightmare visions!

EXORCIST III (1990)

This title surely produced instant snickers after EXORCIST II: THE HYSTERICAL but surprise it has one of the scariest scenes ever and it employed both BRAD DOURIF and VIVECA LINDFORS of CREEPSHOW, so that’s enough for me.

8 EVIL DEAD 2/DAWN OF THE DEAD (1987/1978)

Well this should hit the stock horror fan right where they live. Can you imagine a world where these two didn’t exist? T-shirt, poster and DVD companies would go belly up and countless basement bedrooms would flood with tears! Hell, if these two horror gateway drugs didn’t exist you could probably say goodbye to half the horror fans out there! Me, I’d miss the flying eyeball and that guy whose head gets shortened by a helicopter blade.

CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE (1944)

Aw, this is one of my favorite movies from my youth and it’s a perfect example that a sequel can be its own beast and doesn’t necessarily have to be a weak rehash of the original. This is another one that I like just as much as the first and it routinely gets short changed just for being inspired by something that previously existed. I ask you what movie out there can really claim to be wholly fresh and not influenced by anything that existed before it? I don’t know what sun you live under but there’s nothing new under the one above me. Although I have to say springtime in February is novel.

FINAL DESTINATION 5 (2011)

I think the most fun I had in an actual movie theater this year was seeing FINAL DESTINATION 5. For pure enjoyment value alone, it left most of the better-reviewed horror flicks looking pretty damn dingy to me. I have to give this movie some accolades for not only injecting pure adrenaline into a faultering franchise, but also for proving that the cynical ceiling built by negative naysayers is all in their minds. Truth is, it’s never too late to make something worthwhile and not everybody has to love something to validate its existence. Just one fan blindly smitten or one afternoon spent contentedly lost inside the movie screen is worth it. I’m not exaggerating when I say I think it’s a valuable life lesson to realize that even after the crappiest installment a stellar one can still follow.

So I say hug a sequel today and the next time you decide to rag on something imagine the poor world without it instead. Also don’t choke people with rolled up magazines…ever.

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12 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Erin LashleyNo Gravatar // Feb 2, 2012 at 10:08 am

    I would miss Friday the 13th Part 3, Demons 2, and I have to admit, even though it’s not a horror movie, Stayin’ Alive.

  • 2 David FullamNo Gravatar // Feb 2, 2012 at 10:40 am

    Helz to the yes on Halloween 2, one of my all time favorites.

  • 3 jaakkoNo Gravatar // Feb 2, 2012 at 10:49 am

    Wow, this post could’ve been written by me, I love all these flicks. But had I actually written it, I would’ve probably alienated everyone by adding something like “these are even better than the originals”. It’s funny, because it’s true :(

  • 4 ApocalypsejunkieNo Gravatar // Feb 2, 2012 at 10:56 am

    Agreed!

    A local rock station employs an insufferable Jethro to “critique” the latest movies, throwing in his hyuck, hyuck bon mots for good measure. Of course he didn’t “get” Rob Zombie’s Halloween II. “Sherry Moon in a white dress” was just beyond his understanding. Getting a peek at what’s going on in Michael’s head was one of the best (and scariest) things about that
    film.

    Exorcist III was as scary if not scarier than the original. Period. Same for Evil Dead.

    Thanks for this Valentine to the red headed step child of film, the sequel.! xoxoxox

  • 5 michaelNo Gravatar // Feb 2, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    I’d miss Master of the Flying Guillotine, Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever and if fake sequels would be wiped out, The Executioner: Part II.

  • 6 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Feb 2, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    EL,

    If we’re talking non-horror then I have to also say that Grease 2 is way better than Grease. Maybe a zillion times better

    DH,

    Right on comrade!

    Jaakko,

    In truth I deleted many lines that would have alienated people!

    Apocalypse,

    I don’t get it! Most horror fans talk about RZ’s H2 like they have just escaped a cult and are regurgitating a programmed mantra. It’s like a hive mind.

    It’s almost funny how people beg for originality and then rip it to shreds as soon as it appears.

    I mean really, a simple vision of a horse and a lady in white is just too “crazy” and off the wall for folks to handle? Sad.

    Exorcist 3 is incredible. That scene that takes place in heaven I think is exactly of the same wild spirit as H2- love it.

    And to be honest I usually skip right over Evil Dead & just deal with part 2.

    Michael,

    Haha! Now we’re talking. I agree Cabin Fever 2 is more entertaining than part 1 for me too.

    We better be careful or the horror police are going to come and get us. They stomp on dissidents!

  • 7 tistheseasontvNo Gravatar // Feb 2, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    YAYY for this post! Thanks for including Evil Dead 2. Hells yeah.

  • 8 Dylan Donnie-DukeNo Gravatar // Feb 2, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    What a fantastic list! Not only is Evil Dead 2 my favorite sequel of any movie ever, I actually like it far more than it’s predecessor. Essentially, they are the same film, but ED2 has more polish and whimsy than the first. The Bruce is really in his A-game in it.
    You forgot to mention the most important part in Aliens, though you did mention his character… The Henriksen! He makes every movie better. Hell, he just makes life better.
    NOES 3 is also a fav! It was the first time I really felt the slasher had personality. Sure, he wants to kill you, but he wants to have fun while he is at it. Thus, a human marionette. Ironic deaths have never been better.
    Finally, Bride of Frankenstein. Many have tried (The Bride, Weird Science, Frankenhooker… okay, that last one is actually pretty much awesome.) but no one has ever come close to touching what James Whale pulled off here. Equal parts touching and creepy. Just. So. Good.
    Thanks for this one Unk!

  • 9 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Feb 2, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    I can’t believe I forgot Sleepaway Camp! I’ve always liked Sleepaway Camps 2& 3 way better than part 1. It’s not even a contest. Pamela Springsteen as Angela makes the entire series for me.

  • 10 Jeff AllardNo Gravatar // Feb 2, 2012 at 11:10 pm

    Great list, Unk! For myself, I’d sub out PSYCHO II (a movie I love) for the even more underrated PSYCHO III and drop RZ’s HALLOWEEN II in favor of my favorite return to Haddonfield, HALLOWEEN IV. A few other sequels that I think deserve a shout-out are PHANTASM II, BASKET CASE 2&3, and the latter-day Chucky outings BRIDE and SEED. And on a non-horror note, I have to say I prefer STAYING ALIVE to SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER.

  • 11 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Feb 3, 2012 at 9:36 am

    JA,

    Halloween 4 is gold!!! I would not want to be in any dimension that does not have it! And I love those latter-day Child’s Play movies too. Seed of Chucky is genius. It’s really only Child’s Play 3 that was clunky in that series. Basketcase 2&3 rule too! Annie Ross!

    Truth told I’ve never been the biggest Phantasm 2 fan. I like it enough to have watched it several times but I always want to like it more. I’m very glad it exists though and it’s remarkable how quietly influential it seems to be. The road movie aspect of it is really cool.

    I might take it too personally that they replaced A. Michael Baldwin with J. Legros. When they replaced Mike they replaced me! That might explain why I feel like I’ve just been fired every time I watch Phantasm 2.
    I also thought P2 was too Freddy-ish but how can anything be too Freddy-ish? I must give it another go now that it is on DVD! I do love the Tall man.

    First things first though, you and Erin L have got me wanting to see “Staying Alive” as soon as possible. I’ve decided “Far from over” has got to be the theme song of this post!!!

  • 12 Francene BeckNo Gravatar // Feb 4, 2012 at 8:52 pm

    I totally agree with this list. I also have a love for Halloween II and III:season of the witch. I sing that song in my head everyday starting on October first.

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