The world of horror is truly overflowing with nasty examples of motherhood. It’s important to remember this time of year that upstanding, nurturing mothers are depicted in horror films as well. This next assemblage of horror mommies celebrates the nice ones. When these TRAUMA-MOMMAS pull out a butcher knife, it’s to cut the crust off your PB&J, not slice your throat!
10. (tie) Who could choose between these two small screen mommies with big-sized hearts? Both KIM HUNTER of BAD RONALD and JOCELYN BRANDO of DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW will do anything to protect their misunderstood boys from being ravaged by an uncaring world. Neither was particularly successful but on Mother’s Day especially, it’s important to remember that it’s the thought that counts.
9. Although she’s got some real questionable taste in men, single mom Lucy Emerson DIANE WIEST in THE LOST BOYS is every kid’s dream; a super-lenient, life-size Monchhichi with an affinity for pastel knitwear.
8. Tracking down your lost child in a crowded mall or shopping center is an anguish most moms can identify with. Now imagine being Rose Da Silva (RADHA MITCHELL) and going through the same plight in the nightmare town known as SILENT HILL. What’s the Aussie word for cojones?
7. We admit to having a soft spot for blissfully unaware and chronically naive Karen Barclay (7TH HEAVEN-bound CATHERINE HICKS) in CHILD’S PLAY. Not only is she slow to get on the CHUCKY wagon, We think it’s sweet the way she archaically refers to the skanky homeless bum who tries to rape her as a “peddler”!
6. Wendy Torrence (SHELLY DUVALL) may seem a bit ineffectual at times, but give her a break; she’s got a lot on her plate. Dad’s a psycho and there’s an unexplained plushy fetishist invasion to contend with. Extra points awarded for being a human ALICE NEEL painting.
5. Is there any mom cooler than disc jockey Stevie Wayne (ADRIENNE BARBEAU)? She lets you stay out late listening to JOHN HOUSMAN tell ghost stories and she lets you have STOMACH PONDERS! She’d rate even higher if she didn’t choose the safety of the community at large over that of her son. She should have known Mrs. Kobritz (REGINA WALDON) would drop the ball.
4. As any mother can tell you, punishing your child can be difficult, perhaps even more so when your daughter is a pig-tailed psychopath. THE BAD SEED‘s Christine Penmark (NANCY KELLY) leaves it up to Mother Nature to deliver a much-deserved beat down to daughter Rhoda (PATTY McCORMACK).
3.THE EXORCIST‘s Chris MacNeil (ELLEN BURSTYN) may be a glamorous movie star that appears in all the rags of her day, but her love for her daughter Regan (LINDA BLAIR) is no act. Where most A-listers are quick to push their child’s slightest nosebleed on the nearest nanny, Chris stands by her daughter through thick and thin pea soup.
2. Donna Trenton’s (DEE WALLACE) illicit affair may not make her the perfect wife, but that does not put a dampening on her mothering skills. With shear force of will she is somehow able to shred the original ending of STEPHEN KING‘s CUJO and breath life back into her near dead son. Some would lay thanks on the scriptwriter or director or even a wimpy studio, but we know it’s all in a day’s work for DEE.
1. JOBETH WILLIAMS as Diane Freeling in POLTERGEIST puts the current image of a high functioning soccer mom to shame. She doesn’t need MARTHA STEWART to tell her how to transform a cigar box into a canary coffin and she knows media god OPRAH is the last person to seek advice from about how to rescue a child trapped in a T.V. set. RACHEL RAY can kiss her ass, Diane is ordering a pizza and KELLY RIPA would look like a scraggly bleached flag pole if she tried to pull off Diane’s football jersey and skimpy undies ensemble. How does Diane do it? What makes her tick like a Swiss watch and never loose her cool? Maybe it’s something she’s smoking….