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Traumafession:: Bdwilcox on a Co-Worker’s Son Of Blob Kitten Calamity

March 20th, 2014 by unkle lancifer · 3 Comments

If we accept the notion that kindness begets kindness, I suppose the adverse is true: trauma begets trauma. For example, upon hearing the expertly solved traumafession of my coworker Al*, another co-worker, Ben, shared his own traumafession.

When Ben was a wee lad, an unaffected youth, an unsullied stripling, little did he know that an innocent TV session would lead to a psychic wound whose scar has lasted well into adulthood. As Ben recounted this visual abomination, his eyes looked into the distance as if reliving that moment of terror, that feeling of isolation a child feels when witnessing pure horror. Like a pilgrim cleansing himself of past sins, Ben hesitantly recalled the imagery that had indelibly burned itself into his psyche.

It was a B-movie, a sub-par sequel that was more spoof than horror but, nonetheless, Beware! The Blob contains a scene that has scarred multiple generations of moviegoers. Sure, it had people devoured and digested left and right by a giant amoeba; this is traumatic enough by itself. But nothing, NOTHING, compares to that bastard blob’s ingestion of a tiny, defenseless kitten. NOTHING!

The image of the tiny, curious kitten pawing at the amorphous blob was truly dreadful. But the imagery that Ben recalled (with much trepidation) was the blob escaping out the window with the kitten ensconced within its gelatinous mass and only its tiny tail still visible. Could there be anything more evil than a blob that eats kittens? Cute, roley-poley, bobble-headed kittens who like to play with balls of yarn? Adorable fuzz-balls that attack your feet under the covers and chase the occasional house spider? Purring little poppets that flop over and snooze at the drop of a dime? Damn you blob! Damn you! Eat me instead! Leave the kittens alone!

But I digress. After Ben told us of his hidden trauma** and his catharsis was complete, I asked him if I could share this soul-searing imagery with the wider Kindertrauma audience and he kindly said yes. Thanks, Ben!

* Thanks, Kindertrauma! BTW, that’s Quatermass…without the “r”.

** Still less traumatic than cat juggling, though.

-bdwilcox

UNK SEZ: Thanks for spreading the trauma Bdwilcox and thanks for the traumafession co-worker Ben! Hey, look! I found SON OF BLOB (AKA BEWARE THE BLOB!) in full, hanging out on the Youtube! I was just going to post the trailer but it’s far better to watch the whole kitten Kaboodle!

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Tags: Traumafessions




3 responses so far ↓

  • 1 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Mar 20, 2014 at 12:37 pm

    Bdwilcox, when I got your email, I was all freaked out for a moment that you linked to a kitten juggling video. Before I watched it and saw it was a scene from THE JERK I was all adamant that I was NOT going to post a kitten juggling video on KT! Thank God I checked it out before I called PETA! :)

  • 2 FatherOfTearsNo Gravatar // Mar 20, 2014 at 6:07 pm

    I wasn’t too happy when I saw that scene either. I think it was in the late 70’s and I had a kitten that was about the age of Samuel.

  • 3 El BorakNo Gravatar // Mar 21, 2014 at 6:42 am

    wow. that is terrible.

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