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Curse of the Black Widow

January 24th, 2009 by unkle lancifer · 4 Comments

CURSE OF THE BLACK WIDOW is considered by some to be a lesser work of director DAN CURTIS, but if you ask me even a lesser work by this guy is worth a look. CURSE introduces us to a familiar CURTIS protagonist, a somewhat down on his luck investigator who must work against a system that believes he is a lunatic for entertaining the idea that the solution to the problem at hand may be supernatural in origin.

In this case, a string of murders in L.A. by a femme fatale slowly begins to appear to be the work of a woman who has the ability to transform herself into a giant spider thanks to an Indian curse. As far fetched as the concept is CURTIS is able to ground at least the first half of the film in a gritty and groovy seventies reality before taking his shoes off and delivering a B-movie showdown with a papier-mâché arachnid. What separates CURSE from most of CURTIS‘ productions is the fact that it eventually reaches a knee-slapping, ridiculously camp crescendo but that’s also what makes it so much fun.

At a time when most television movies featured women being endlessly accosted in parking lots, it’s actually refreshing to find a mostly male victim roster here. (Of course centering the tale on a woman who is half spider and lingers around singles bars to catch her prey is hardly the height of feminism either). As dated as some of this happily is, CURSE still manages to come off as pretty progressive for showcasing an apparently gay mortician and a very butch girl Friday played to the hilt by ROZ KELLY. I may have said some less then flattering things about ROZ “Pinky Tuscadero” KELLY in the past, specifically in reference to her less than stellar performance on THE PAUL LYNDE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL. In fact, if I remember correctly, MR. CANACORN himself issued a fatwa against me in order to defend her dubious honor. Well, all I can say is that I am now deeply ashamed of myself because, in this movie, she frakin’ owns!

In fact, as much as CURSE definitely has a great dark CURTIS vibe throughout, I gotta say the entire cast is what makes it so special to me. It may not send you to bed freaked out of your mind because a spider lady might get you, but who can say no to these actors? ANTHONY FRANCIOSA of ARGENTO‘s TENEBRE is the more than a likable lead and he is surrounded by such greats and not-so-greats as VIC MORROW, DONNA MILLS, JUNE LOCKHART, JUNE ALLYSON, SID CEASER, MAX GAIL of BARNEY MILLER, and last, but certainly not least, the living legend and poster girl for fractured personalities everywhere, someone who should never be shown a hot dog lest she “loose control,” PATTY (CALL ME ANNA) DUKE! C’mon you know you can’t resist this! It’s like someone mashed up that giant spider episode of GILLIGAN’S ISLAND with KOLCHAK and then forced some LOVE BOAT stragglers to perform in it! CURSE in no way CURTIS‘ finest hour but if you are a fan of seventies television and laughable giant monsters it may be yours.

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Tags: Repeat Offenders · Telenasties

4 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Amanda By NightNo Gravatar // Jan 24, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    Have I told you lately that I love you?

    I have only seen half of this movie, because I’m lame, but agree that Roz Kelly was something. I remember she played a lady who worked at a place like a hot dog stand on the beach on Charlie’s Angels and had some great screen time with Bosley. Those were the days. Plus, Blaze in New Year’s Evil is one of my favorite characters. There. I said it.

    Dan Curtis, Aaron Spelling… those guys were friggin’ geniuses who made devine horror movies that might be a little dated, or have worn out concepts (by today’s standards, I mean), but are still marked with craftmanship and a true earnestness (sp?) to please their audience.

    We’ll never see another time like that again.

  • 2 DavidFullamNo Gravatar // Jan 26, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    Love that giant spider!

  • 3 mrcanacornNo Gravatar // Jan 28, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    Well, I totally watched The Making Of Star Wars and then I guess it was time for for bed since I’ve never even heard of this one…what a great cast (and I’m not just talking about my gal Roz) and we all know Mr. Curtis is “the shit” (as the kids say).  I have a sinking feeling this is not available for me to rent from Netflix.

    Oh, which reminds me…I’ve been meaning to ask you boys if y’all are on Netflix…(and any of you other Kindertrauma regulars)…if so, wanna be friends?  That way I can spy on your rental history and make fun you….I mean, get more awesome ideas of what to rent myself!

  • 4 aunt johnNo Gravatar // Jan 29, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    @Mr. C.: Nope, we are not on the Netflix. I used to be, then I grew tired of waiting forever for movies to come to me from the most far-flung shipping centers. It was easier to go to the local video shack and get the title I wanted.

    I do think about rejoining from time to time, and if I do… we can so be besties.

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