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Kinder-News :: The Truth Behind Chris Higgins’ Blackout

June 2nd, 2008 by unkle lancifer · 9 Comments

Oh Chris Higgins, you certainly are one of the more self-indulgent of THE FRIDAY THE 13TH final girls, aren’t you? In the third installment of the franchise you get a lot of sympathy mileage not only from your long-suffering boyfriend, but also from anybody within earshot when you recall a vague incident that occurred two years prior to the events in the film. As you tell it during a double-exposure flashback, after your boyfriend dropped you off on the night in question, you got into a fight with your folks and then ran off into the woods seeking solitude. Resting under a tree, you were confronted by a disfigured man (“Almost inhuman” are your words) who you grappled with and the next thing you knew you woke up at home in bed. Then comes the part that we here at Kindertrauma have trouble with; you claim to have blacked out the sordid details of that encounter. Chris, really? You’re going to use the old catchall excuse “the blackout?” Unfortunately for you Chris, Kindertrauma‘s scandal happy investigators were able to unearth 10 minutes of extra montage footage that was edited from the film at the last minute by Paramount. If we may be so bold Chris, it seems your problems have less to do with Mr. Voorhees and more to do with one JACK DANIELS.

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9 responses so far ↓

  • 1 FoxNo Gravatar // Jun 2, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    Brilliant and hilarious!

    I will carry the image of Jason at a Coyote Ugly with me in my wallet for the rest of my life.

  • 2 CarrieWhitePowerNo Gravatar // Jun 2, 2008 at 4:57 pm

    2:18 AM is just wrong on so many levels…

    😉

  • 3 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Jun 2, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    Thank god we didn’t post the pic from 2:22 AM!

  • 4 goofygrapeNo Gravatar // Jun 3, 2008 at 3:28 am

    why isn’t this a sitcom?

  • 5 cubanMIXNo Gravatar // Jun 3, 2008 at 9:13 am

    this was fuckin HILARIOUS! 1:45am is CLASSIC!

  • 6 mamamiasweetpeachesNo Gravatar // Jun 3, 2008 at 9:53 am

    Safe to say we’ve all had nights like that and it ain’t pretty. Been there, done that. Luckily most of mine were in the ’80s…when people THAKFULLY didn’t have camera phones to document your stupidity!

  • 7 VicarOfVHSNo Gravatar // Jun 3, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    >>Safe to say we’ve all had nights like that and it ain’t pretty. Been there, done that. Luckily most of mine were in the ’80s…when people THAKFULLY didn’t have camera phones to document your stupidity!

    mamamiasweetpeaches–that was YOU? It’s been a long time! 😉

  • 8 Jeff AllardNo Gravatar // Jun 4, 2008 at 6:21 am

    Hilarious! No wonder Chris was reluctant to tell the whole story. She didn’t want to Rick to think she was damaged goods!

  • 9 mamamiasweetpeachesNo Gravatar // Jun 4, 2008 at 9:02 am

    Yes it was me…and I would like my leopard-print panties – and dignity – back, thank you very much.

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