When I was young I was scared of two things, The Bermuda Triangle and the Devil. I was pretty sure the triangle had to stay put, so if I decided not to go on any plane or boat rides I would be all right. The devil too, I imagined was easily identifiable, (resembling the character on the Underwood Deviled Ham can) and pretty much restricted to staying far underground in a place called H-E-double-hockey-sticks. These theories and more would vaporize the night I begged my mother to let me stay up and watch SATAN’S TRIANGLE a 1975 television movie. The film starts off pleasantly enough with the Coast Guard finding an abandoned vessel with one lone survivor. Doug McClure listens intently as an icy Kim Novak recounts the paranormal demise of all aboard. Doug is a skeptic and is able to find logical solutions to every mysterious anecdote she has to offer. It’s all very soothing to realize that every spooky unexplainable occurrence can be effortlessly shot through full of holes by the rational McClure. After everything is put in its place and we decide nothing is amiss, a helicopter arrives and suddenly the fabric of all we thought was real begins to unravel at a demonic speed. As much as I’d love to reveal the ending, I really couldn’t do it justice anyway… suffice it to say, it’s still the scariest I’ve ever seen. Besides bearing witness to the creepiest, longest, direct eye contact, smile ever put to film; my sense of reality along with Mr. McClure’s character’s was smashed into a million pieces and would never be repaired. My mother had her hands full trying to get my screaming, crying ass into bed that night and, for what seemed like years, I would huddle under the covers trying not to think bad thoughts. From that night on I lived with the realization that the devil and even the Bermuda triangle were a lot closer than I thought.
- The levitating cadaver
- Death by swordfish
- EVERYTHING that happens after the Helicopter arrives…