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A Kindertrauma Guide to Pissed Off Native Americans in Film

November 26th, 2009 by unkle lancifer · 7 Comments

Our recent list of Thanksgiving viewing suggestions, while reasonably well received, was met with one major criticism, not enough avenging Native Americans! This brief compilation shall serve as an addendum to that previous list, for let it never be said that we here at Kindertrauma do not live to serve our faithful readers.

Now, we already mentioned the subtle condemnations found in THE SHINING, the not so subtle scalpings found in SCALPS, and the divine demolition of a craptastic stage play by Native American sympathizer WEDNESDAY ADDAMS in our other list, so here’s seven more selections that will hopefully add an aftertaste of guilt to every bite of pumpkin pie you shove into your mouth today!

Whip smart LASH LA RUE has his hands full with several spiteful spirits in a so bad it’s still bad supernatural spooker apparently filmed in my cousin’s basement rec-room. (Thanks to eugeniepetite for passing us this peace pipe!)

In the episode “Bad Medicine” Kolchak butts heads with a tall drink of yikes! I’m usually not psyched about non-Native Americans playing these roles but in this case I’ll let it slide ‘cuz it’s supermodel RICHARD KEIL (Jaws from MOONRAKER!) (A tip of the feathered headdress to kinderpal Senski!)

A wooden cigar store Indian comes to life and helps GEORGE KENNEDY put some young punks in line in this STEPHEN KING-penned smoker! I had me at GEORGE KENNEDY.

Usually I take the side of the pissed off Indian guy, but in this case I take umbrage to the lil’ guys entrance to this dimension via a popped zit on SUSAN STRASBERG’s shoulder. That's just gross. (Thanks to the sweet as Indian corn mamamiasweetpeaches!)

Never one to shy away from a holiday themed show, Buffy’s season four episode “Pangs” finds the slayer’s Thanksgiving party crashed by Chumash warriors remarkably adept at shooting arrows, turning into bears and giving Xander a plethora of venereal diseases.

You’d have to be batty to blame the bats in this late seventies ecological tsk-tsk-er. Turns out an old pissed off Indian summoned the poor creatures and forced them to do his bidding. Don’t worry, the kind of, sort of, almost passable as an Indian, NICK MANCUSO saves the day!

Maybe Native Americans didn’t have all the modern technological advances that we have today like your annoying iPhones, but ask yourself when was the last time Apple invented something that could resurrect a dead puppy dog? The answer is never.

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Tags: Holidays

7 responses so far ↓

  • 1 mamamiasweetpeachesNo Gravatar // Nov 26, 2009 at 11:16 am

    Oooh- One More: 1979s THE PROPHECY -which you guys suckered me into renting by telling me it had Armand Assante and a kid exploding in a sleeping bag in it!  More pissed off Indians (are there any other kind???)


  • 2 Walter PaisleyNo Gravatar // Nov 26, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    Here are a few more for you:
    GHOST DANCE – Indian slasher terrorizes paleface museum staff!
    GHOSTKEEPER – Native legend the Wendigo assumes the form of a fat bearded guy and terrorizes some palefaces who end up in a Shining-style abandoned lodge.
    WENDIGO – Of course.

    There must be more, but can’t think of them now. Happy Turkey Day, Americans.

  • 3 LaDraculNo Gravatar // Nov 26, 2009 at 1:31 pm

    Hmm, the Quileute wolves are one that come to mind…imagine a segment of a tribe that turn into really large, pissed off wolves that tear vampires a new one…

  • 4 DavidFullamNo Gravatar // Nov 26, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    You do not mess with The Manitou!

  • 5 Eddie QuistNo Gravatar // Nov 26, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    Wolfen’s a good one. Not just for the pissed-off wolves, but the pissed-off Edward James Olmos.

  • 6 splatterthrashNo Gravatar // Nov 27, 2009 at 7:55 pm

    You forgot Scalps (1983)
    and I’m sure a smattering of other obscure titles I’m not familiar with.

  • 7 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Nov 29, 2009 at 9:25 am


    Don’t worry, I mentioned Scalps in the opening paragraph! (Does this mean nobody reads my opening paragraphs?…sob) As for forgetting the “smattering of other obscure titles you’re not familiar with”, that was just laziness on my part!

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