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Sunday Streaming:: Excision (2012) (Via Tubi TV)

August 20th, 2017 · No Comments

Oy veh, sometimes I’ll be having a perfectly nice day and then out of nowhere the movie EXCISION pops into my head and re-haunts me. Have you guys witnessed this beautiful yet horrendously ugly dive into tragic madness yet? It may ruin your life but it does have TRACI LORDS in it (and she’s phenomenal). Please read my bewildered full review way back HERE to save me from repeating myself. Sorry this post is so brief but I must prepare for the eclipse/apocalypse tomorrow. In closing, I both highly recommend you do and highly recommend you don’t watch EXCISION on TUBI TV right HERE while you have a chance. This one cuts deep.

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming

Sunday Streaming:: Extinction (2015) (Via Crackle)

August 13th, 2017 · 1 Comment

I gravitated toward EXTINCTION not because I’m a huge zombie fan but because I have a warm spot for snowbound horror. I caught the icy trailer on a random DVD and I couldn’t understand why I had never heard of it before and then fortuitously, a couple weeks later, it popped up at a yard sale because I’m the luckiest person in the world. Now EXTINCTION is on CRACKLE and I am strongly urging you to check it out. It’s one of my favorite finds of the last ten years and it’s the type of movie I’ll watch again and again. If I had to make a list of underrated horror films, I think I’d put it smack on the top. I want this movie to be my pet so I can pat it on the head and it can sit in front of my fireplace. Do you know how many zombie movies I don’t care about? I’d say about 97%. This one is particularly unique and it has interesting characters and the atmosphere is through the roof. You have to see the shot of an abandoned, snow-covered movie theater with a marque that reads “AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS.” It’s so darn beautiful…

The less you know the better so I’ll just throw a couple selling points at you and hope it will be enough. The bulk of this movie takes place about ten years after a zombie-type outbreak wipes out most of civilization. The tale follows two adult survivors (MATTHEW FOX, JEFFREY DONOVAN– both excellent), a little girl (QUINN McCOLGAN) and a faithful doggie. These folks are holed up in a couple of adjacent houses in the middle of nowhere covered in ice and hoping never to see a zombie again (in truth, the creatures are never called such and are referred to as simply “monsters”). The two men have had a falling out but they both feel responsible for the little girl and eventually they have to reconcile in order to persevere. Slowly we learn the details of the slight that divided them and it becomes a genuinely compelling character driven drama. Of course the monsters return, as they always do, and there are some real nail-biting action sequences as this likable group fights to survive. In some ways, it’s more faithful to the homebound isolated terrors of RICHARD MATHESON’s I AM LEGEND than previous official adaptions. Plus, I kinda just want to live in this movie were modern culture is dead, everything is covered in snow and I’m in a boarded up house filled with books eating beans out of a can.

Watch EXTINCTION right HERE for free thanks to the folks at CRACKLE.

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming

Sunday Streaming: Madman (1982) (Via Tubi TV)

July 30th, 2017 · 5 Comments

I should probably be forcing myself to check out one of the many recent horror movies I haven’t caught up with yet but instead I’m going to watch MADMAN for the millionth time. It’s the perfect time of year for a summer slasher movie especially when that summer slasher movie completely ignores the existence of the sun by taking place exclusively at night and features characters dressed as if it were the dead of winter (when they’re not in a hot tub). What says summer more than howling winds, rustling dead leaves, corduroy and flannel? I’m thinking the world of MADMAN is a perfect world- because it’s a world where summer doesn’t exist. Putting aside its strange, BOOGENS-esque climate, MADMAN never fails to satisfy all of my horror needs. Once upon a time I used to wish for a sequel but now I know it’s better off with its mythology unmarred and its low budget purity intact. This movie has everything you could want in a horror movie; a truly formidable maniac, victims who make questionable survival choices, multiple grisly deaths and a jarring synth score complimented by a legendary theme song that should have been a number one pop hit across the country. And I have to say, the cat-and-mouse stalking scenes are still pretty darn effective. Sure, it has flaws but they are enjoyable flaws. Anyway, MADMAN is available to watch on Tubi TV for free anytime you like. If you haven’t seen it before, be more adventurous than myself and check it out HERE.

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming

Sunday Streaming:: Devil Times Five (1974) (Via Tubi TV)

July 23rd, 2017 · 2 Comments

Hey, DEVIL TIMES FIVE (1974) is trying to hide from me on Tubi TV by wearing its alternative title THE HORRIBLE HOUSE ON THE HILL. It won’t work! I see you DT5 and you look crisper, cleaner and more colorful than ever. The only proper way to combat a hot, humid and hellish summer day is by watching a winter set film- particularly if it’s a winter set film featuring a gaggle of psychopathic youngsters bent on murdering every dopey adult they encounter in a groovy seventies lodge. I’ve always thought there was something singularly unsettling about this film and its weird vibe. Maybe that’s a natural reaction to witnessing adorable freckle-faced Dodie from MY THREE SONS (DAWN LIN) dumping a bucket of killer piranha into the bathtub occupied by an unsuspecting woman (who happens to be DAWN’s real life mom, CAROLYN STELLAR. BTW-DAWN’s older sibling LEIF GARRET is also on board playing a like-minded murderous tyke). THE DUKES OF HAZZARD’s Boss Hogg (SORRELL BOOKE) and WILL AND GRACE’s Rosario (SHELLEY MORRISON) are exactly zero help in situations like these. My advice is: grab some hooch and a couch and sit back and take in the calamities while the air conditioner churns. Be prepared for moaning slow motion kills, corpses encased in snowmen, the greatest catfight ever put to film and a disturbing young woman in a nun’s habit sporting psychedelic shades. DEVIL TIMES FIVE is playing on Tubi TV HERE. If you haven’t registered yet, what the devil are you waiting for? You’re missing a free horror movie treasure trove!

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming

Sunday Streaming:: The Void (2016) (Via Netflix)

July 9th, 2017 · 2 Comments

I feel like it’s been way too long since I’ve seen a movie like THE VOID. It’s not as streamlined as I would prefer but it’s full of boundary-pushing imagination and its playing field expands in ways you wouldn’t predict. There’s probably a little too much going on in it but I have a feeling that’ll only increase its re-watch value down the road. As much as harkens back to many an eighties classic, there’s something that remains refreshing about it- or maybe it’s the way that it harkens back (with legit admiration rather than a desperate need to pillage) that makes it feel that way (the road to hell is paved with eighties wannabes that have no clue what made the original films so special). THE VOID seems honestly in awe of the possibilities that it is presenting and that sentiment is contagious especially when it’s backed up with incredible eye-popping practical special effects the likes of which you may have thought went extinct decades ago. Plus it’s just plain creepy.

I won’t get too much into the plot because I simultaneously don’t want to ruin it and also may not have fully understood it (I look forward to clarifying a few things with future viewings). Suffice to say that this gem of a movie brought me back to the days when I could happily check out the latest offering from my hero and yours, JOHN CARPENTER. It’s like being reminded of the glory days. It starts with a hospital under siege much like the police station in ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 and then it throws a bunch of unlikely characters together like THE FOG (including genre legend ART HINDLE of THE BROOD) and then it starts slapping you in the face with mind-bending surrealism like IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS, concentrated cosmic horror like PRINCE OF DARKNESS and flesh-twisty gore a’ la THE THING. Having said that, it still miraculously finds a way to plow its own original course even while throwing CLIVE BARKER and HELLRAISER a bouquet as well. It’s really got a lot more going for it than most of the soggy Hollywood shrug offs that appeared in theaters this year and it really makes for one satisfying night of Netflix viewing.

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming

Sunday Movie:: Blood and Lace (1971) (Via Comet TV)

June 4th, 2017 · No Comments

Today is obviously going to be the greatest day ever because the coolest channel that ever existed COMET TV, is going to be airing BLOOD AND LACE at 2pm! Man, I love that BLOOD AND LACE! What a great movie! How did I survive for so many years without it in my life? Furthermore, how did I survive so many years without COMET TV? Those were dark days indeed and I never even knew it. You can read my full gushing review of the fine flick HERE and you can watch the movie itself HERE or on your TV at two! Ain’t life grand?

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming

Sunday Movie:: Cooties (2014) (Via Tubi TV)

May 28th, 2017 · No Comments

Critter crew, I gotta go to this thing at this thing but I am loath to leave ya with nothing to occupy your peepers so I’m sending you all on a field trip to Tubi TV to watch COOTIES! Hey, COOTIES is pretty good, particularly the kooky and kindertraumatic slo-mo playground contagion scene. I love that part! Such creepy imagery! Plus I think COOTIES is pretty funny and I feel like ELIJAH WOOD is a nice person who should be supported since that MANIAC redo was so much better than we all expected. COOTIES does devolve into too familiar zombie territory and some of the casting is questionable (IMO) but neither of those gripes is enough to sink it. Like I said, it’s pretty good and certainly worth the fair price of FREE!!! Watch it HERE and hope you are all having a wondrous Memorial Day weekend!

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming

Sunday Streaming:: Anna To The Infinite Power By Kevin Maher

May 7th, 2017 · 2 Comments

“There are 32 ways to write a story, and I’ve used every one, but there is only one plot – things are not as they seem.”
– Jim Thompson, pulp novelist

The difference between Columbo and Murder, She Wrote is that in Murder, She Wrote the viewer tries to solve the crime while Jessica Fletcher does. But with Columbo the audience sees whodunit right at the start, and they watch Lt. Columbo try to figure it out.

Watching someone unravel a mystery can be entertaining, even cathartic. And the more personal the mystery is, the more dramatic it can be.

In INVADERS FROM MARS a young boy discovers his parents are not what they seem.

In I MARRIED A MONSTER FROM OUTER SPACE a young bride discovers her husband is not what he seems.

In THE PARENT TRAP two girls discover they are not what they seem.

One of the most sensitive types of secret is your own identity. Those stories involve some of the most upsetting secrets.

In THE 6TH DAY, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Adam (the hero of the story) finds out he is a clone.

In The Twilight Zone episode “The Lateness of the Hour” a young woman learns that she is an android. (It’s somehow fitting that this is one of the episodes they shot on videotape.)

The clone/robot trope has been explored and executed to great effect on recent cable series like Westworld and Battlestar Galactica.

I most recently encountered a clone narrative in the newest RESIDENT EVIL movie. (Major spoilers coming, but you knew where this was headed…)

At the very end of RESIDENT EVIL: THE FINAL CHAPTER, Alice finds out she is a clone. This shattering plot-point is down-played. (Granted the series is known for its action set-pieces more than its character moments.) When the Red Queen informs Alice that she’s a clone, Alice is comforted by this judgment: not only is she the best of all the clones, she is superior to the original Alice. (Oh, I get it! They’re speaking metaphorically about RESIDENT EVIL movies. Each sequel is criticized for being a “clone” of the previous film. So now Paul W.S. Anderson is saying that this final installment is not only better than the previous sequels, it’s better than the first film!)

I walked out of the theater (yes, I saw RESIDENT EVIL in the theater! I had to see it for a podcast) feeling like they’d missed an opportunity for bigger drama. Or at least an opportunity to give me the kind of clone-revelation-drama I seem to enjoy so much.

Thinking about clone narratives and how they figure into hero myths, I suddenly summoned a faint memory of kindertraumatic movie called ANNA TO THE INFINITE POWER.

I’d seen it once when I was 10, and it was one of those movies no one else remembers. (In the pre-internet days that made you the keeper of the flame, you alone had to keep the movie alive by remembering it.)

I got home and searched for ANNA on YouTube. There were only a couple of short clips. But those brief images were enough to flood me with those tingly kindertraumatic feelings. It’s like when you were a kid and right before you lost a tooth you tasted the bittersweet flavor of your blood. Gross AND exciting!

I kept searching for ANNA online. (Ironically there weren’t any bootlegs of this clone movie.) And then one day it turned up on YouTube, on a channel run by a guy whose content is predominantly videos of Thom Matthews. You can just tell, he’s good people!

You can guess the film’s basic premise: a young girl discovers she is one of many clones. Her entire childhood has been a lie. Who is she cloned from? Why do flickering lights give her headaches? What does any of this have to do with the Nazis?

ANNA is a special kind of science-fiction, where the low-budget and modest filmmaking somehow help it seem more real and relatable. (Kind of like how those videotaped Twilight Zone episodes don’t seem like TV at all.) If the movie gets under your skin, it’s not because of the special effects of grandiose cinematography, but because of simple themes

ANNA TO THE INFINITE POWER tackles all the big questions of a good clone movie: addressing ethics, technology and morality, all wrapped up in the soap opera of a pre-teen girl wondering if her family is her family as she confronts who she really is and what she is destined to become.

Throughout the movie there’s a truly haunting song, which was composed by Paul Baillargeon, who wrote music for Star Trek. (Not the original series, but Deep Space Nine and Voyager. Those still count!)

If cheap-but-effective science-fiction isn’t enough to get you on board, I have two words for you: Mark Patton. That’s right, Anna’s brother is played by Jesse Walsh from A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE. (Apparently Mark Patton is also drawn to stories about characters struggling with their identity!) His presence adds a certain kind of non-star star-power. You know what I mean? That pleasant familiarity of seeing an actor who you only know from one role. It reminds me of the delight I’ve experienced when Marilyn Burns shows up in a movie that isn’t THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE, it’s like you’ve just run into an old friend.

Maybe I’m drawn to these melodramatic clone revelations because it’s a far-removed story premise that could never happen to me. Or maybe, deep down I’m afraid it could be my secret origin. Either way, you should watch ANNA TO THE INFINITE POWER while it’s still on YouTube (HERE).

And If you’re looking for a double-feature, Hulu’s streaming an episode of The X-Files that is said to have a suspicious number of similarities to ANNA. Season 1, episode 11: “Eve” (HERE).

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming

Streaming Alert:: The Keep (1983) (Via Tubi TV)

May 4th, 2017 · 2 Comments

Hey, you can be watching MICHAEL MANN’s flawed but forever fascinating THE KEEP (1983) for FREE right now! I’ve given up hope that THE KEEP will ever make it to DVD and I (sobs in hands) lost my precious VHS tape years ago (a widescreen version that a friend copied from laserDisc!) so this is a rare privilege as far as I’m concerned. Read my old review HERE (which was once recommended by THE KEEP’s very own author F. PAUL WILSON!) and then go investigate my new favorite joint called Tubi TV right HERE.

Tubi TV is basically like Netflix except for the fact that you don’t have to pay a dime. It takes about one minute to sign up (just register with an email) and then you are free to watch a very impressive selection of films with a few harmless ad views as your only payment (I’d list some excellent titles but I’m saving them for future posts!). I love this. I love FREE. I haven’t been collecting movies on DVD and VHS for the last 30 years so that I would end up paying to stream (I know original content has made Netflix, HBO and Hulu nearly indispensable but I piggyback off of a generous relative’s accounts for those). Last night I watched the coolest movie called OUTLANDER (2008) during a fit of insomnia and it seemed like the greatest gift in the world. It’s about a futuristic dude (JAMES CAVIEZAL) whose space ship crashes in Iron Age Norway with an alien creature on board and so he has to team up with Vikings to destroy it. Have you seen this? It’s awesome! It’s like ALIEN 3 meets THE 13th WARRIOR meets THE TIME MACHINE meets THE RELIC meets HIGHLANDER meets PREDATOR meets ARMY OF DARKNESS. It’s so epic and so geeky and so hauntingly beautiful in places and I only wish I had a toy of the alien creature to pet. Anyway, as God is my witness, I will never pay for streaming again! Trust me; go get you some Tubi TV…now!

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert!

Sunday Movie:: Ava’s Possessions (2015) (Via Crackle)

April 30th, 2017 · No Comments

It’s in every horror fan’s best interest to periodically drop on over at CRACKLE and see what’s new. I’m happy to report they have recently added AVA’S POSSESSIONS, a neon, neo-noir, post-possession character study that plays like prime SUSAN SEIDELMAN directing a horror version of THE LOST WEEKEND. It meanders at times and the tone doesn’t always gel but this movie is so visually arresting and the cast is so appealing that I really think you should check it out. LOUISA KRAUSE is highly endearing as Ava, a gal who is picking up the pieces of her life after a recent possession threw all of her relationships into turmoil and perhaps even caused a homicide or two (don’t act like you haven’t been there). The supporting cast is just as good with DEBORAH RUSH (Yay, STRANGERS WITH CANDY!) portraying her mom and WILLIAM SADLER (Yay, ROSWELL!) as her dad. WASS STEVENS of SATAN’S LITTLE HELPER even shows up as the leader of a possession survivor support group and horror royalty CAROL KANE (WHEN A STRANGER CALLS) graces this fine production with a divine cameo. And not to get all artsy on ya but I just really loved this flick’s sense of style and pitch perfect use of color, plus the score is pretty phenomenal too. Did I mention it’s FREE? Yes, it’s FREE to watch this movie completely unedited right HERE on CRACKLE. You just have to withstand some commercials but such is life. At least you’re not currently possessed.

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming