Now it’s Thanksgiving day and myself and Aunt John are taking the day off to eat and mostly drink things! If you have no family to visit today make some toast and popcorn and revisit our wildly unpopular posts HORROR MOVIES FOR THANKSGIVING! (HERE.) and KINDERTRAUMA’S GUIDE TO PISSED OFF NATIVE AMERICANS! (HERE.) Happy Thanksgiving and remember only Turkeys drink and drive!
It’s almost Thanksgiving, the day where you act thankful but I’m not thankful for rampant gluttony and smallpox blankets; I’m thankful for bad movies! When I use the word “bad” I mean it in the way the kids do these days and that means the opposite! “Bad” means “good” in the world of hip-hop! What will they think of next? Lots I guess. Here are ten movie turkeys that brightened my life with their inability to walk a straight line and touch their nose when I pulled them over to the side of the road. Yes, these are recycled posts but what am I a mule? Look, I even blurbed myself which frankly is just as much fun as it sounds. Gobble.
10. THE DARK (1979)
“There’s no escaping the frustrating, unfocused, half-hearted pace.” (MORE.)
9. STAR CRASH (1978)
“Moments in, I realized that my eyeballs were about to get reamed.” (MORE.)
8. FATAL GAMES (1984)
“Its perpetual atrociousness makes it strangely worthwhile.” (MORE.)
7. SCREAMTIME (1986)
I think SCREAMTIME is a way better movie than INCEPTION. (MORE.)
6. BLOOD SHACK (1971)
“I have always regarded it as the worst film I had ever seen in my life.” (MORE.)
5. THE VISITOR (1979)
“Spectacularly daffy enough to be absolutely critic proof.” Full review HERE.
4. SHRIEK OF THE MUTILATED (1976)
“Not one moment of normal human behavior to be found anywhere.” (MORE.)
3. JAWS OF SATAN (1981)
“A perfect amalgamation of everything that makes movies not good.” (MORE.)
2. NIGHT OF THE DEMON (1980)
“IT HAS THE GREATEST ENDING EVER FILMED!!!” (MORE.)
1. CATHY’S CURSE
“If (it) were just incompetent that would be one thing, but it goes far beyond that, it willfully defies rational thought.” (MORE.)