kindertrauma

Name That Trauma:: Reader Pixel Pixie on a Window Smashing Vampire, Salty Zombies and a Teen Witch

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Since I have discovered this site last week, I've become completely addicted! Thanks for bringing up so many memories of my childhood and alerting me to movies I should have already seen.

But moving on, I have three traumas to submit. I'm afraid I don't have a lot on any of them, but you and your readers have mad skillz, and answering any of these would be wonderful. Presenting them in the order in which they occurred:

1) Mid-to-late 80s: a trailer for a vampire movie that aired repeatedly on TV. The only thing I remember is what traumatized me: a female vampire jumps through a window (perhaps in slo-mo), completely unscathed by the flying shards of glass around her. I think she was wearing a nightdown-ish dress in a pastel color, and might have been non-Caucasian. I have watched a bunch of trailers from that era and have yet to come across it.

2) Late-80s: I checked out a book from the elementary school library. It was an anthology of folklore horror stories from around the world. It was illustrated, but definitely wasn't any of the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books. The story that traumatized me took place somewhere in Asia (sorry, don't remember which country specifically). There was a female ghost with long fingernails or claws and she was chasing a male. He stood in front of a tree and she charged at him. He lunged at the last second to get away. Her claws were embedded in the tree and he took off. Another story took place in Italy or France and involved a guy murdering someone (maybe his wife?) and making her into sausages, which he sold. This didn't bother me at all; apparently cannibalism doesn't traumatize me, but ghosts do. Those two stories were definitely in the anthology, but another jostles my memory that may or may not have been included. It had voodoo zombies that were controlled by salt or sugar (or maybe both?). One had been given whichever substance makes them work and, in a golem-like twist, works mindlessly on stuff around the farm.

The book wasn't new when I read it and might have been as old as the 60s.

3) Early 90s: Another book I read, this one checked out from the public library. I think it might have been intended for teenagers, or even adults, because I never saw it in the children's section again (or maybe enough parents complained). This one featured a girl, perhaps in her early teens, who started dabbling in black magic. She needed baby fat for a spell and wanted to sacrifice her little brother. I think she might have had a sister as well. I think her father was somehow not in the picture, and that might have been the driving force behind getting into magic. I checked out the book in paperback, and I think the cover was purple and had a pentacle or some other sort of magical symbol on it. Whatever it was, my mother saw the cover and told me I wasn't allowed to read stuff like that. I had to return it to the library that day.

Many thanks to anyone who can help with any of these!

Traumafession:: Eshbaal of Horrible Horror on Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Greetings, Unk and Aunt. It has been a while since I last wrote to you with a Traumafession. But sometimes, it simply takes a while before you suddenly remember just how creepy something was, or that it existed at all.

When I was a child, there used to be a little show on TV called "Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids" – a very crudely animated children's horror anthology show. The concept was really quite simple: it was an anthology show, akin to Tales from the Crypt, with self-contained stories introduced by a host, in this case "Uncle Grizzly," a stop-motion (although the rest of the show was 2D animation), hunchbacked theatre owner who would show film reels detailing stories of bratty children getting their comeuppance for their bad behaviors – such as being liars, talking back, being lazy and what have you. Apparently, this show was adapted from a series of British children's books. Like I said, the animation was very crude, the art style rather childish, and every voice was essentially just the narrator doing bad impressions. By all accounts, this sounds like a fairly innocent little Aesop-filled show, right?

Wrong.

This show was completely batshit crazy, and I only just truly realized that a few weeks ago when I happened upon a few episodes of it on YouTube and gleefully went "Aaaw, I remember this!" and started to watch. While I did remember the show having some unnerving atmosphere surrounding it, I must have repressed the rest in some dark corner of my mind somehow, because I was in no way prepared for the carnage I was about to witness.

Either the British really hate children, or British children are considered insanely tough, because things would get just as grizzly and gruesome as the title promises. These children, while definitely bratty and annoying, would be punished in ways that go way beyond simply telling them off for being snot-nosed little bastards: they'd get killed in the most insane ways, such as the boy who refused to eat his dinner being ground into spaghetti by a shadowy "spaghetti monster", or the "Bunny Boy" who refused to eat his salad (opting to feed it to a bunny in the fields instead) and got run over by a combine harvester in the field and got sewed together with said bunny.

Did I mention said harvester scene features blood splatter and limbs flying at the screen? And these are just two out of a ton of examples. From being forever caught as a golden statue to being burned alive to eaten by trolls or to being pressed into cider, there was no gruesome death that the children in these episodes didn't suffer – and if they survived, they usually weren't much better off, with one particularly lazy girl turned into a giant worm because she refused to leave her sleeping bag during a camping trip.

Whatever went through the creators' heads, I do not know. But it definitely makes me want to eat my veggies, talk nicely to people and never go apple-picking – when I re-watched it in my mid-twenties.

-Bjarke "Eshbaal" Johansen of Horrible Horror.

Traumafession:: Reader Sergio on Os Amigos do Gaspar

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Os Amigos do Gasper is a portuguese puppet show about… some city garden, I don't know. I hated it with all my guts, but I saw it anyway, because anything was better than staring at the walls, I guess.

At 3:20. the most traumatic character, the guard, always getting mad and yelling for every possible reason. Why is he on a kid's show?

PS: Thank you for your site.

Traumafession:: Dustin in Minnesota on Tom Sawyer (1938)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

This one was an oldie even when I was growing up in the 1970s and 80s, but I found it terrifying – yet fascinating – nonetheless: The 1938 version of "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer", starring Tommy Kelly.

I found the movie entertaining, yet was terrifed of Victor Jory's "Injun Joe" character – from his throwing of the tomahawk during Tom's testimony in court, to his discovery of a lost Tom and Becky in the cave. I had nightmares of the scene Tom turning around to see Injun Joe standing there, watching them and grinning. Many a sleepless night was due to that one scene – yet I watched it every time they showed a matinee at our local theater or when it aired on TV.

I must have been somewhat masochistic when it came to fear, as I did the same thing with horror comic books.

Love the site, love "digging up" chilling memories.

Dustin in Minnesota

Sinister (2012)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Home movies are naturally creepy. There is something depressing about folks hamming it up while forever trapped in a grainy, bleached-out world that no longer exists. SINISTER opens with a super-8 flick that brings the medium's innate moroseness to grotesque heights, as it happens to feature a family with sacks on their heads being hung from a tree. Some sort of makeshift execution device has been crafted where, as the tree's branch is sawed off, the weight of the branch dropping raises the squirming family off the ground and to their final Kodak moment. It's a grisly way for a movie to introduce itself and an early indicator that SINISTER aims to live up to its name. What could be more disturbing than witnessing an entire family killed together? Later in the film we'll find out; witnessing an entire family killed together in front of their Chihuahua!

ETHAN HAWKE plays dishonorable dad Ellison Oswalt who moves his unsuspecting family into the house where the murders took place. We're clear on his motivation (Ellison was a once celebrated true crime writer who has fallen out of favor and is looking for his next inspiration) but his reasoning is foggy. The killer of the family was never caught and one child was never found so the house's heinous history is still an open wound. Who would bring their kids into a place like that? Can't Ellis' research be done anywhere considering it mostly consists of pinning string to a map and writing questions on Post-it notes? Ellison knows his family is bound to find out but he lies to them just the same and it's suggested this is not the first time he has put work ahead of them. Hey, I'm down with an unlikable protagonist, I'm just not sure I'm down with his wife being presented as a wet blanket nag when she has every reason to be pissed off. Moving sucks.

Ellison's theory that living in the crime scene might offer him insight pays off in spades when he finds a box full of snuff flicks in the attic made by the killer! What a break! Sure, this is clearly invaluable evidence to the murders of dozens of innocent people but by sharing it with the authorities, he's jeopardizing his book so he keeps it to himself. He's obsessed, not obsessed enough to watch all the movies in one sitting, which by the looks of it he could, but obsessed just the same. The more he watches the more his life crumbles and the more he has to deal with scorpions, snakes, invisible dancing children with circles under their eyes, stay-at-home actor VINCENT D'ONOFRIO and his daughter painting on walls other than those she has been given permission to paint on.

SINISTER contains brief moments that are sublimely scary. When we first catch a glimpse of what's breeding the horror, it's a vague, bone chilling image. But the more things come into focus the harder I found it to swallow (which is strange because my gullibility is of legend.) HAWKE is great but his earnestness tends to highlight the multitude of shortcuts and contrivances. (How convenient that an ancient deity just happens to resemble a modern metal-head's SAW-friendly wet dream.) The wrestling flavors of deadpan gritty thriller and broad horror fantasy don't so much clash as beg to be better stirred.

Can I get nit-picky? When Ellison's family moves into the house months after a notorious slaughter has taken place, I get that the tree remains in the back yard to inform us of where we are, but why the hell is the branch that was sawed down still hanging off of it? I've learned to let bigger issues than that pass in order to get my scares on but I'd be lying if I said that dead branch didn't get stuck in my craw. It drove me nuts. In fact, I still want to jump into the movie and drag it off myself. Maybe it's me. I have been on organizing tear lately but still…even if a family was not hanged on that tree, human behavior dictates that somebody would do something about that branch! It's dead! I should concentrate on the score. The score is cool.

If you are a fan of supernatural flicks this is worthwhile for the handful of times it hits the nail on the head but honestly I could never completely fall under its spell. For me it was like the devil laughing in my face but with spinach in his teeth.

Traumafession:: Daniel E. on The Hamburgler

Posted on By unkle lancifer

The HAMBURGLER, damn it! The old Hamburgler! One of my crazy relatives got a Hamburgler figure when I was like 3 or 4 years old for some reason and it had a pull string to make it talk …. that shit got put in a hole in the woods. Really what were they thinking? Ronald was bad enough but for God's sake, the Hamburgler too?

YouTube Alert:: Reader Ozne on Journey To The Unkown

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hey Uncle Lancifer and Aunt John,

I stumbled on a rare find when cruising through YouTube today. Do you remember a British anthology fantasy/horror series that aired on ABC in the U.S. called "Journey to the Unknown"? Anyway, I found most if not all the episodes under "The 60's horror Realm" page. You'll have to scroll a bit to find the episodes. The quality is very good.

I thought the other members would like to watch them. I figured YouTube is free and some people may not have access to Netflix Streaming.

Enjoy!

UNK SEZ: Thanks for the great tip Ozne! I watched the first episode "The New People" this morning and thought it was excellent! It turns out it was written by CHARLES BEAUMONT the brilliant mind behind so many classic TWILIGHT ZONE episodes!

Sunday Streaming:: The Boys Next Door (1985)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Today's Sunday Streaming pick is PENELOPE SPHEERIS' THE BOYS NEXT DOOR! How can you say no to both a psycho killing spree road movie and a sleazy L.A. circa 1985 flick all in one? This is a movie that I once caught on late night cable a zillion years ago and it left a permanent mark on my brain. I found it really compelling and impossible to turn off and yet I never wanted to watch it again because it disturbed me. I should lie and tell you that I was disturbed by the vicious misogynistic, racist, homophobic killings that pepper the film or even that I took offense to an old lady being conked on the head with a beer bottle but the sad truth is, I was rattled by the fact that a little dog is kidnapped and left on a beach far away from home!

The "boys" of the title are Roy (a post-GREASE 2 MAXWELL CAULFIELD) and Bo (a pre-PLATOON CHARLIE SHEEN). Rebels without a conscious, the two have just graduated high school and have only soulless factory work to look forward to. SHEEN is the ghost of his father in BADLANDS and CAUFIELD does his best American sociopath by dropping his accent and lumbering around like an inhabitant of THE ISLAND OF DOCTOR MOREAU. Ignored by their parents and scorned by their peers, you can't blame these two for stealing a car and searching for greener pastures. Unfortunately for many, they are unable to outdrive the lit wick of the explosive rage they have against the world that's not their oyster. It's not long before innocent drunk cougars (PATTI D'ARBANVILLE) and optimistic gay dudes are being beaten to death for inviting the wolves in tight sheep clothing home.

THE BOYS NEXT DOOR is built to unnerve, it opens with news clippings reminding us how harmless appearing the most savage serial killers are. Like many films focusing on those who break against society the audience may find themselves torn between being mortified by their escalating deeds and oddly pulling for them not to get caught. SPHEERIS keeps things from getting too heavy by throwing in a cop that we can relate to (CAULFIELD's GREASE 2 co-star CHRISTOPHER McDONALD) and by drumming up energy with a lively soundtrack. Roy and Bo's actions aren't nearly as fascinating as their complicated relationship but how deep you want to dive into that psychological tar pit is up to you. I'm thinking for many seeing 1985 captured in a bottle complete with a MOON UNIT ZAPPA appearance should be enough.

Name That Trauma :: Reader Jennifer U. on a Cabin Anthology Featuring a Green Light

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I saw this anthology horror movie around 1980. I think it was about a group of college-age friends who are in a cabin/house during a storm telling scary stories. I don't think the movie was very good but one of the stories has stuck with me called "The Green Light." It's a story I've seen in other movies about medical students playing a prank on another student who claims nothing can scare him. The prank involve a cadaver arm or some other body part and the guy who couldn't be scared ends up getting so scared that he goes crazy or dies. In this movie, the story ends with the guy standing on a chair batting at a green light bulb hanging from the ceiling. Do you know the name of this movie?

UNK SEZ: I know this one like the back of my hand Jennifer! It's been the subject of at least one NAME THAT TRAUMA before (HERE) and it seems it's that same "green light" segment which tends to stand out! You're looking for one of my favorite traumatizers, SCREAMS OF A WINTER NIGHT!