kindertrauma

Scream (2022)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I feel it's my civic duty to write a review for the latest SCREAM movie and yet all I really want to do is talk about how much I love the last installment in the franchise, SCREAM 4. I'm super happy that the new film is doing well with critics and audiences alike but where was this gushing positivity when brilliant Wes Craven's last film hit the scene eleven years ago? Yikes, that's another thing that's vexing me; was 4 really released that long ago? If I had to guess, I would have said it came out about five years ago. In any case, the new SCREAM is reasonably well done and offers plenty to keep one entertained even if I didn't exactly click with any of the new characters (at least not like I did with Kirby in 4) and I felt not enough time was spent with the returning OG's. It's OK though, I'm probably still going to watch it countless times in the future and surely the newbies will gel with me over time.

This is a SCREAM movie so I'll give away as little as humanly possible. The film opens with a scene that mirrors the first film's famous opening but with a few less teeth and a victim (Jenna Ortega) who somehow survives. Soon we are introduced to her estranged sister (Melissa Barrera) and her close-knit group of friends (including twins who are nephew & niece to departed Randy Meeks). As the ghostface killer continues to strike, we're again informed that everyone is a suspect as the group of teens discuss elevated horror, legacy characters and "requels" like an exhaustive buzzword laden Twitter feed. The SCREAM flicks have always been pointedly meta/self-aware so it's appropriate to offer this update of current horror film discourse and yet my corny self would rather be hanging out with Gale Weathers (Courteney Cox) at her new job as a morning news show host or maybe getting a glimpse of Sydney (Neve Campbell)'s new husband. At least we do get some Dewey (David Arquette) downtime, even if his character has been dumped in a trailer & is hitting the bottle.

Directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillet (READY OR NOT) do an admirable job of respecting the series overall (even throwing out a blink and you'll miss it Easter egg of life saving proportions) and some of the kills are wonderfully vicious (including one creepily conducted in the broadest of daylight). There's no way I'm going to look this gift horse in the mouth as the film successfully puts the franchise back on track on multiple levels and that's something to celebrate. I guess I'm just a bit let down by what and whom the film chooses to focus on when there are so many angles that might have been more interesting (at least to me). I will say that the films final reveal, though anything but innovative, is performed well and is sufficiently psychotic (even though I prefer part 4's more passionate revelation). Ultimately this is a laudable feast for fans that's nutritious enough even if I didn't leave the table completely satiated (like I did after viewing Part 4. Damn, I love that one so much. Justice for Kirby!).

Traumafession:: Sebastian P. on Round The Twist's Toy Love

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Long time listener, first time caller! That's what the kids say right? Well regardless, I've had this one little television show haunt me for as long as I can remember. It's a little Aussie icon known as Round the Twist. More specifically, the episode Toy Love.

This episode was demented. It's like some psychologists banded together and wrote an episode scientifically designed to scare as many kids as possible. This girl called Linda is stalked by a doll she attempted to throw away and they made this thing look like something plucked straight from hell's toy store. The very fact the episode establishes that it can move faster than the eye can see and can cause actual tangible harm to you was enough for me to check for dolls under my bed every night before I slept. There is a light touch of comedy with how the doll wasn't vengeful about Linda abandoning her and was trying to reunite with her Michael Jackson figure. Though watching it today, that Michael Jackson doll being in the same bed as a young girl might be the scariest thing in it.

Apologies if that was a bit long winded but I apparently had more to say on the matter than I realized. But regardless, I have to thank you for reading this far. Warmest regards from down under! Included is a link to the episode HERE.

Traumafession:: Jim C. on The Michelin Man

Posted on By unkle lancifer

The Michelin Man!
My dad worked for Brockway trucks is the early 70's so whenever there was a truck show in town he would take me to see the big rigs. Naturally that fucking tower of squashed marshmallows was always there dancing around and just waiting for the moment he could find me alone and eat me! I don't care what anyone says. That white fucker was scary!


Babes in Toyland (1986) By Electric Babysitter

Posted on By unkle lancifer

So I was just having a lazy, December day and looking for something holiday-ish to watch for the podcast. After perusing, I decided to revisit the lovably, bizarre 1986 Babes in Toyland. I was hoping you hadn't covered it, but I just read the review on the site, it was spot on! May I piggyback off that review and contribute my two cents, possibly make a humble, holiday recommendation? 

I watched this version of Babes in Toyland as a kid. I didn't know there were other versions of this story growing up, so this movie stuck out as even weirder back then. I'm pretty sure my family got our vhs with a McD's value meal. Which makes sense because this movie, similarly to Mac and Me, pairs well with a cheeseburger. Extra cheese, please.

Probably the "worst" things (although I would argue that they're part of the charm) about BIT are the Toyland set and props. Admittedly, they kinda have a Spahn Ranch, local theme park vibe…kinda like the set up from The New Kids (1985). But low budget aside, you can't beat the eclecticism of this cast. I mainly just wanted to briefly give props to three special ladies that stood out during my rewatch: Jill Schoelen, Shari Weiser and Drew Barrymore.

First off, I love the coziness of a movie with low-key scream queen, Jill Schoelen. As previously mentioned in the review, she was in The Stepfather, Cutting Class, The Phantom of the Opera, When a Stranger Calls Back and my personal favorite, Popcorn. ???? I feel like she's always had such a likability factor about her. In BIT, she comes off as the ideal big sis, and I love her chemistry with lil Keanu!

Shari Weiser, who I just recently learned about during this deep dive, was the actress that played the Trollog (too long, don't ask) in BIT. She was also in Follow That Bird, but most importantly, she also played HOGGLE in Labyrinth! Don't you just love when you can connect the stars of your childhood? (Side Tangent: I also just found out that the guy that did the voice for Max in A Goofy Movie also did the voice for Thackery Binx the cat! ??)

And of course, Drew Barrymore, who is SO adorable in BIT. I've always rooted for Drew, especially considering what she went through at such a young age. BIT falls into my favorite time in Drew's career, mid-80s to pre-Scream (basically the "Little Girl Lost" years). Drew was only 11 when she starred in BIT, and considering her history, there was a line Drew's character says towards the end that resonated when I did my rewatch. She says, "I always wanted to be a kid." Heartbreaking!

Babes in Toyland is not the greatest thing ever, but I won't deny the warm and fuzzy nostalgia I experienced watching it again. The copy of BIT we had growing up was about 90 long, that's the version currently on Prime. If you're interested in the Snyder Cut version, there's the "Director's Cut" on YouTube. It has way more of Drew's lip-syncing singing, and clocks in at almost 2 1/2 hours long! May I make a suggestion? Watch the 3 hour original broadcast upload on YouTube. It's a weirdly, comforting time machine…and it's brought to you by McDonald's. 

If you care to listen to me ramble on more about Babes in Toyland, as well as other things TV/movie-related, listen to Electric Babysitter on whatever podcast platform and visit me on IG! 

Warm Holiday Wishes,
Electric Babysitter

Christmas Evil ('80) By Michael Campochiaro of Starfire Lounge

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Lewis Jackson's cult classic Christmas Evil (1980)—or as it was known during production and before the distributor changed the name, You Better Watch Out—opened in a few theaters to little notice back in 1980. Then it mostly disappeared, only to see a revival of sorts in recent years on Blu-ray and streaming. For many of us it's now an annual holiday watch. Christmas Evil has something special going for it that few other Christmas horrors do: it's quite possibly the most pointed critique of the holiday season ever made.

Released during the slasher boom set off by Halloween (1978), Christmas Evil might've been marketed as a slasher (honestly, it was barely marketed), but that's not what Jackson was going for. Like its anti-hero protagonist, it was an oddity, a methodically paced character study of an unstable, Santa-obsessed, middle-aged toy factory worker, which shares more in common with Taxi Driver than Halloween.

The film opens in 1947 when young Harry, his little brother Phil, and their mom secretly watch Santa Claus (their dad in disguise) deliver gifts under the tree. Later, after Phil flatly denies that Santa is real, Harry sneaks back downstairs, only to find a softcore version of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" happening between sexy, lingerie-clad Mommy and horny and hungry Santa Daddy. Disturbed by seeing Santa putting his mitts (and mouth!) all over my Mommy's lusciously nylon-and-garter-belted legs (and beyond!), he runs upstairs, breaks a snow globe in a fit of rage, and intentionally cuts his hand with a shard of the glass. Fade to red, and the film's original title screen appears.

In present day 1980, we find Harry working at a toy factory and living in an apartment that appears to be decorated full-tilt for Christmas year-round. Stage and character actor Brandon Maggart plays Harry. He is excellent in the role, and also the source of one of my favorite fun movie facts: he's Fiona Apple's dad! What makes Maggart's performance so effective is how he engenders such sympathy for Harry, who is looked down on by his coworkers, treated like a nuisance by his brother, and generally ignored by the rest of the world. He's very much spiritually connected to Travis Bickle's "God's lonely man," even talking to himself—or having total breaks with reality—in the mirror frequently throughout the story.

Harry already fancies himself a street-level Santa, clearly: he spies on the neighborhood children, keeping notes on who's naughty or nice in a huge, leatherbound book. It's chilling to watch him peeping through the kids' windows, yet at the same time we never really feel any of them are in serious danger from Harry….well, except little foul-mouthed, Penthouse-reading Moss Garcia, who Harry seems particularly disturbed by because he represents the new, profane world of 1980 ("Negative body hygiene" and all) while Harry is stuck in an idealized 1940s fantasy life. That fantasy is important to remember as you watch the film. With Harry as our unreliable narrator, it's hard to know what's real and what's not. Are people's reactions to Harry filtered through his own fractured lens?

Harry's breakdown seems fueled by an inability to reconcile his nostalgic, pure view of Christmas with the cynically capitalist way the rest of the adults in society see the holiday. Harry identifies with the children who still believe in the magic and wonder of Christmas, yet reality repeatedly shatters these notions, day after day, making it almost impossible for him to maintain his composure.

Seeing the adulation Santa receives at the Macy's Thanksgiving parade triggers something in Harry. He immediately constructs a Santa costume of his own, builds toys in his workshop, and by Christmas Eve his mania is in full swing. He glues his Santa beard to his face (ouch!) and heads out to deliver some holiday cheer. He alternates between sweet acts of Robin Hood style kindness—delivering bags full of toys to a children's hospital, which he stole from the toy factory after becoming completely disillusioned with the place—and cold-blooded murders. The bloodletting is spontaneous at first, but then calculated, as Harry sneaks into the house of a particularly crass coworker and murders the man in his bed while his children eagerly await Christmas morning, just down the hall.

As Harry's Christmas Eve massacre carries into Christmas night, he has a series of encounters with holiday revelers, some jovial and some disturbing. After a final confrontation with his brother, who has deduced that Harry is the killer Santa the news media is reporting about, Harry drives off in his van, on which he has painted a Santa sleigh. Driving wildly, he crashes off a bridge and that's when the film takes a turn for the surreal, as the sleigh-van literally flies off into the night, with Harry reaching a state of pure Yuletide bliss.

I tend to think Harry perished in the crash that Christmas evening, but it also appears that Phil is witnessing the flying van just as we are, so maybe not? Either way, Christmas Evil sticks with you. Jackson never directed another movie again, which is a shame, but at least his sincere, troubling, and borderline-genius piece of work has finally found its audience, all these years later. The allure of nostalgia is powerful, after all, making the core of Harry's story all too relatable for many viewers.