The great TOM HOLLAND had a birthday this past week (July 11th) so let's say we celebrate his wonderful career. Below are twelve images from twelve movies (or TV episodes) that he either wrote or directed or in some cases, both! How many can you identify?
I feel like it's been way too long since I've seen a movie like THE VOID. It's not as streamlined as I would prefer but it's full of boundary-pushing imagination and its playing field expands in ways you wouldn't predict. There's probably a little too much going on in it but I have a feeling that'll only increase its re-watch value down the road. As much as harkens back to many an eighties classic, there's something that remains refreshing about it- or maybe it's the way that it harkens back (with legit admiration rather than a desperate need to pillage) that makes it feel that way (the road to hell is paved with eighties wannabes that have no clue what made the original films so special). THE VOID seems honestly in awe of the possibilities that it is presenting and that sentiment is contagious especially when it's backed up with incredible eye-popping practical special effects the likes of which you may have thought went extinct decades ago. Plus it's just plain creepy.
I won't get too much into the plot because I simultaneously don't want to ruin it and also may not have fully understood it (I look forward to clarifying a few things with future viewings). Suffice to say that this gem of a movie brought me back to the days when I could happily check out the latest offering from my hero and yours, JOHN CARPENTER. It's like being reminded of the glory days. It starts with a hospital under siege much like the police station in ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 and then it throws a bunch of unlikely characters together like THE FOG (including genre legend ART HINDLE of THE BROOD) and then it starts slapping you in the face with mind-bending surrealism like IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS, concentrated cosmic horror like PRINCE OF DARKNESS and flesh-twisty gore a' la THE THING. Having said that, it still miraculously finds a way to plow its own original course even while throwing CLIVE BARKER and HELLRAISER a bouquet as well. It's really got a lot more going for it than most of the soggy Hollywood shrug offs that appeared in theaters this year and it really makes for one satisfying night of Netflix viewing.
I almost forgot to tell you fine folks that I got an opportunity to play the mind-blowing FRIDAY THE 13th video game! No, I'm not fancy enough to have a state of the art PS4 but I have a friend who is that fancy and we all know it's not what you know but who you know that counts these days. I've been hearing a lot of stories about glitches and impossibly long waiting/loading periods but the night I played everything ran smooth as silk and the only glitch I ever caught was a rifle oddly floating in space and I kind of thought it looked cool anyway. Personally I found the game to be fun as hell. I know not all of our readers are into games but this is one that I think you should check out for kicks anyway if you get a chance. It's basically like being thrown into one (or more) of the films and it tends to be as much fun to lose as it is to win. You can actually visit your favorite Crystal Lake hot spots like the staircase that poor Mark rolled down after he got an undeserved machete in the face, Jason's sloppy shrine shack and even cozy book-filled Higgins Haven. It's really a nice place to wander about in when someone isn't trying to kill you.
Can you believe I survived the first two times I played? I believe I accurately behaved very closely to how I would in real life in such a situation. In other words, I hid a lot, ran in circles fretting and then jumped into the back of a car that a smart person or persons was able to fix. When Jason came after the car I watched the occupants jump out and bravely attack him as I looked to see if the car was old enough to have an ashtray in the door. I know that sounds cowardly but let me tell you, as soon as I started getting brave is as soon as I started to have my head crushed in. Oh, the things I've seen! Oh, the humanity! You really get a front row seat to shady human behavior when you're playing online with random people. The cool thing is that after you are dead you can spy on the remaining players (or wait to be re-spawned as Part 6 Tommy Jarvis). I watched a person fix a boat only to have their pal jump into said boat and roar away without them! The betrayal! And once when I had gun I decided to help some folks when Jason jumped in front of their vehicle only to have them back up and run me over! The injustice! Ah, memories that will last a lifetime. Anyway, I had a blast and I can't wait to play it again and check out any and all updates (a single player version and new maps/locations are promised) and I hope it inspires many more slasher movie tie-in games (my fingers are currently crossed for HELL NIGHT: ESCAPE FROM GARTH MANOR).
I was visiting a lovely land called Ardmore yesterday and I came across the greatest thing. It was a fantastic movie rental joint called VIVA VIDEO! They had one of the coolest, heartiest horror sections I've ever seen. These righteous dudes even proudly carried SCREAM FOR HELP on VHS! Cooler still, their New Release wall was sparkling with offerings from the great folks of ARROW VIDEO. I wanted to work there for free and I don't know how I was ever dragged out of the place! So today all of our mystery movie stills are from movies distributed by ARROW VIDEO who you can visit HERE. Also I highly recommend a visit to VIVA VIDEO if you are in their neck of the woods (they also have a top notch sell –through section)!
Pretty standard fare, I suppose:
I was three. There was a special attraction Santa Claus Train ride. Mom was all excited and I was, too. Then we got on the train. First came the clowns. Loud ones. With balloons. Cue me burying my head in mom's lap and shrieking. Nonstop. Santa Claus came along and I screamed louder. He wouldn't leave me alone.. One wrecked event for mama, and a lifetime fear of….wait for it….'tainsrides' (?!) for me.
-Trouble
Hey, I wrote this review right after I saw ALIEN: COVENANT opening day but I didn't post it because I thought it sounded a bit too much like an Annie Wilkes nerd-tantrum. Plus, the movie got some decent reviews and I didn't want to be a wet blanket or something. As it turns out though, it's really not all that negative especially now that I've edited out the part that made me sound like I belonged in a mental hospital. So here it is, here's me being all disappointed…
RIDLEY SCOTT is one of my favorite directors. He's got a keen visual style and his explorations into the horror and science fiction genre have resulted in two of my all time favorite films (ALIEN and BLADE RUNNER). I'm point-blank grateful that he has chosen to delve deeper into these mesmerizing worlds. No matter how many times he revisits these cinematic arenas you can bet I'll be standing in line opening day, giddy as all get out. I couldn't resist if I tried and wild Xenomorphs couldn't drag me away. It will always be an honor and a privilege to be invited to witness what currently intrigues a great artist like RIDLEY SCOTT. That said, I'm not exactly over the moon with ALIEN: COVENANT. It may work a shade better than PROMETHEUS as a monster movie but it's got nothing on its predecessor in the compelling character department and it sorely lags behind its elder sibling in delivering a profound sense of awe. Honestly, it left me slightly peeved. Perturbed even! Downright hexed! But mostly I feel mournful- surprisingly mournful.
Am I being a baby? I know I have to go in the direction that SCOTT points me but darn it, I really want to stay with (possible spoiler) Elizabeth Shaw (NOOMI RAPACE). The weird thing is, I was aware that she might not be present in this new outing and I didn't give it a second thought. SCOTT decided to switch gears and drive the bus more into the original ALIEN zone and how could I argue with that? I guess I just assumed some new character would rise up (a' la Ginny Field) and be equally interesting and that didn't happen. Did they really think they could just shake a tall brunette with an unflattering haircut like a set of keys in front of my face and I'd coo, "Ripley!"? It doesn't work like that. Really, none of the new crew registers fully and although most (or all) of them are couples they strangely don't seem to click with each other properly either. I'm going to optimistically assume that future viewings (or an extended cut) will help them gel (BILLY CRUDUP is actually pretty great but he's trapped in a sad sack Schleprock role). Of course MICHAEL FASSBENDER's David continues to be an exquisite creation but I kind of resent him for taking over the whole show and for his being shoved down my throat like a rolled up magazine. (Hey, who's the coldest, most sterile, least emotive character? Let's double him!) An image of Shaw appears in the film and it's like salt on a wound. I care about her. I don't care so much about persnickety androids and people who are torched before they even have a line of dialogue.
That's my beef. I don't mind the wonky science or the dumb decisions made by the crew but I do care about the absence of good characters (and specifically Ellen Shaw). The good news is that ALIEN: COVENANT does indeed bring the horror so if you're just craving monsters in space (nothing wrong with that) you might prefer this to PROMETHEUS. I have to say I dig the old-school shadowy stalking humanoid creature that lurks in the first two ALIEN films a lot more than the spazzy lizard-y beast that whips around in this newfangled flick. Maybe my eyes are too slow but the damn thing reminded me of HALLE BERRY in CATWOMAN and that's never a good thing. I'm also not completely on board with a late in the game shower-kill that feels like it's lifted from the phony slasher film at the beginning of BLOW OUT. It's so out of place and shoehorned and what kind of person wants to have sex in a shower right after all of their friends have been slaughtered? Just like skin-job David's claims that he loves Elizabeth Shaw while he attempts to exterminate all of humanity, it doesn't pass the believable behavior/motive smell test.
But who am I kidding? I'm going to buy ALIEN: COVENANT on DVD and watch the heck out of it for years. I'm just going to have to file in my head in close proximity to the underwhelming ALIEN 3 (which is also visually stunning, has a few indelible scenes and heartlessly betrays beloved characters) and ALIEN RESURRECTION (which is also thought provoking, squirm inducing and fatally miscast. Sorry, WINONA ). Don't go by me. I know a few folks whose opinions I trust who preferred ALIEN: COVENANT to PROMETHEUS, I myself did not. I know I'm supposed to be judging this flick on its own terms (as a hybrid mutation thinly connected to the animal that inspired it) but I just can't seem to. Maybe I have an exaggerated sense of loyalty to go along with my heightened sense of betrayal. I don't know, I'm really A-OK with judging a movie purely from an emotional non-technical level. It's my prerogative as a red-blooded (as opposed to white) non-synthetic. I've already been a good soldier and suspended my disbelief; my common sense and my understanding of human behavior– do I really have to suspend my need for an engaging protagonist too?
It's an early 80's film (between 1981-1984). The film is essentially a one man show. I think it was originally in 3D. It's a low budget sci-fi flick. The protagonist is a thief of sorts. He's trying to steal a gem or gems from a church that has large number of booby traps. The entire movie is him navigating a series of traps to reach the alter where the jewel[s] are. I think he ultimately gets killed in the end. I've been searching for the title to this flick for a long time.
UNK SEZ: Hey, Rob! Not every piece of the puzzle fits perfectly but so much of what you described sounds like THE TREASURE OF THE FOUR CROWNS from 1983. I wrote a review about the movie way back HERE, you can watch a trailer HERE and check out the incredible head-spinning scene below! Let us know if we caught the appropriate culprit!
Holy Toledo, I dug me some SPLIT. And I've been suffering a miserable movie track record lately! I found ALIEN: COVENANT to be a profound disappointment, I thought the abysmally titled RINGS was an atrocious snooze-fest and IT COMES AT NIGHT though undeniably impressive, made me want to hang myself. SPLIT is a good time! It's got what I call "Joie de horreur." I couldn't wait to see what happened next and it's so genuinely entertaining that it's easy to forgive whatever little (or not so little) lapses in logic might occur. In fact, the film's overall goofy weirdness tends to automatically transform its missteps and wonky reasoning into campy charm. I don't know if it was its shameless misrepresentation of multiple personality disorder (see also RAISING CAIN) or its unabashed exaltation of the great BETTY BUCKLEY (see also CARRIE) but this angel of a movie inadvertently gave me the DE PALMA thriller fix I had no idea I was craving so darn badly. If NANCY ALLEN showed up, I could have died a happy man right there on my cat-shredded couch.
Please believe my sincerity when I tell you I mean this as a compliment- SPLIT not only reminded me of a delicious DE PALMA psychobabble sundae, it also made me feel like I was watching an extraordinary new breed of mutant LIFETIME movie (sorta like GONE GIRL). Three innocent teen girls (including bunny-faced ANYA TAYLOR-JOY of THE WITCH fame) are abducted from a mall (KING OF PRUSSIA MALL, the same joint I rented my very first VHS tapes from!) and kept prisoner by a madman with a ton of personalities and an enviable wardrobe. Bring a snack! This is the type of movie that if you caught it on TV, you'd never be able to change the channel or go back to sleep. Yes, it hit me in my LIFETIME zone and I found myself just as trapped as those girls. The only thing that softened the tension for me was the fact that I felt so comfortable in the lunatic's living space and really related to his decorating style (especially the child alternate's room with the stuffed animals). I realize now that the absolute perfect window for me is one that is drawn with a crayon. Let's face it; I wouldn't try to escape. Is that bad?
Don't worry, I'm not forgetting JAMES McAVOY, he gets his own paragraph. Who is this guy? I barely noticed him in those X MEN movies and I didn't make it past 30 minutes of VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN but he's truly a wonder to behold in SPLIT. I can't remember the last time I witnessed an actor so gleefully reveling in the boundless possibilities of his craft before. He's completely free and fearless and you can't take your eyes off of him. I'm sure somebody with a keener ear than mine could find faults with his delivery but his overall effervescence sold me completely.
And I have to say, even though this film's representation of a dissociated identity disorder/multiple personality disorder is outdated, cartoonish and bordering on irresponsible, I can't help being intoxicated by it. Maybe it's just residual affiliation left over from my preteen obsession with SYBIL but I'm too intrigued by this questionably accurate construct to let it go. Even if multiple personalities don't exist as this persistent Hollywood trope suggests, I think there is a useful truth about the fluidity of personal identity being represented that we all can relate to and recognize in ourselves. Hasn't everyone had the experience of seeing different sides of themselves emerge when confronted by difficult situations? Is it uncommon to fear that an emotion might take you over, that if you were to express your anger fully you'd be in danger of becoming a monster? Who doesn't want to regress back to the simple joys of childhood when reality becomes hideous? I guess what I'm saying is whatever this presentation of mental illness lacks in the accuracy department, I think it makes up for by relaying a bigger truth about the human condition. That's my rationalization anyway, and I'm sticking to it.
I know I'm super late to the game and get zero cool points for gushing over a highly successful mainstream movie by a popular director six months after its release but this all does my heart good anyway. It's a solid reminder that people can still surprise you after you have completely given up on them. I not only disagreed that THE VISIT was a return to form for M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN, I also thought THE VISIT was one of the most annoying motion pictures ever made.
But now I'm letting bygones be bygones. I'm even going to join the rest of the world and erase that faux-documentary THE BURIED SECRET OF M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN from my memory banks. It's a good thing to have a director out there interested in the darker, more mysterious side of life making decent films again. A rising tide lifts all boats! Maybe now some more performance-reliant character driven independent horror films will get made- who knows? Plus, I have to give M. NIGHT his rightful due for consistently showcasing the super glamorous city of Philadelphia, the home of Kindertrauma Kastle, in the most complimentary light possible. In the end though, I'm most happy with the film's bold conclusion. As we all know, M. KNIGHT is notorious for his twist endings. In this particular case, the ending actually opens the film up and expands its universe, increasing the possibilities. Whereas, I think the lion's share of his previous rug-pulls do the exact opposite. I guess it could be argued that I enjoyed this because my expectations were low but the reality is, an exceptional performance (and a heaping dollop of BETTY BUCKLEY) goes a long way. Your mileage may vary but for me, SPLIT is just what the doctor ordered.
