
Tag: General Horror
Pearl (2022)

It seems like just yesterday I was singing the praises of Ti West's "X" and now here comes PEARL, the prequel that reveals the foundation of horror that film is built on. PEARL is a truly singular experience and quite a sight to behold. It openly borrows from many a classic film before it (everything from THE WIZARD OF OZ ('39) to MULHOLLAND DRIVE (2001)) and yet feels just about as fresh and forward-bound as a film can be. Freakishly effervescent Mia Goth portrays the title character Pearl, a young girl with big dreams who is trapped on a farm taking care of her scowling deadweight parents, some standard livestock, and a friendly alligator with a big appetite. Feel free to place this lunatic character study right up there with the all-time greats (Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) Willard Stiles (Bruce Davidson & Crispin Glover) May (Angela Bettis), and maybe Iif I may be so bold) that crazy kid Jamie (Sammy Snyders) from THE PIT ('81) to name a mere few). West has never been more confident on a visual level (especially when it comes time to whip out the red hues) and there are more than a few scenes that I just can't seem to shake from my head, try as I might.

On my way to see PEARL I got some worrisome news (it's a long story, but suffice to say everything turned out as wretchedly as possible and my attempts to fix the troublesome situation failed miserably) and I have to say it really affected my viewing experience though I'm not sure for the better or worse. I do know that from the trailer of PEARL I was really expecting a hilariously morbid quirky romp but I ended up with so much more than I anticipated. Turns out PEARL is just so damn tragic that it began to actually pain me to watch it. Goth gives an incredible, for the ages lengthy monologue (while seemingly channeling the entire cast of THE SHINING ('81)) explaining her morose feelings, motivations, insecurities, and general psychotic history and it's legit glorious but it's also gut-wrenching to visit the depths of her delusions and self-hatred. I'm sure I was a bit over-sensitive at the time of my viewing but geez, I almost felt the urge to tap out before I too joined in her woeful sobs (seriously, it makes my depressing boo THE ATTIC ('80) look like XANADU ('80)). I loved it; Goth & West make an incredible team but ouch! I may have to watch GREASE 2 ('82) to recover my equilibrium.

Barbarian (2022)

Late one night during a raging storm, Tess Marshall (a relatable Georgina Campbell) arrives at the small house she rented for the weekend only to find the key missing from the lock box outside. She sees light and a figure inside so understandably exasperated; she bangs on the door, which is answered by an odd man named Keith (Bill Skarsgard, inadvertently carrying the baggage of previously portraying a psychotic killer clown). It turns out the domicile was accidentally rented to two parties for the same weekend! Since it's raining cats and dogs and they just happen to be in the most dilapidated and depressing area of Detroit, the two form an awkward alliance and agree to share the place together. What could go wrong? Everything could go wrong. Everything you could imagine and a dozen things your mind could never comprehend can go wrong.

I'm not going to be the one to spoil this film's surprises. Nope, I knew nothing about it going in and I'm a hundred percent sure that's the best way to see it. (Now whispering) I will say, writer/director Zach Cregger's BARBARIAN absolutely feels like being trapped in a nightmare that you can't wake up from. There's this horrible force that keeps pushing you forward against your better judgment as you go deeper and deeper and sense that where you came from is disintegrating behind you. There is nobody to help, in fact, your every plea for assistance is misconstrued and digs your grave deeper. Every choice you make to fix the situation backfires and makes things worse. You witness the darkest heartlessness of humanity and the unfathomable pain and despair that it fosters. There are no happy endings here, just inevitable decay and rot. It's all so outlandish it can't possibly be real but it's happening all the same. You have a few glimmers of light, a few hopes for escape but you squander them trying to do that right thing for people you have no idea don't deserve it. Something primal makes you want to cry out for your mother and that may be the biggest mistake of all. BARBARIAN is an ordeal. It can be furiously frustrating at times when the most backward choices are made but I think that just adds to the anxiety and the feeling of hopelessness. It's a bad dream of a movie and like many bad dreams, it can't help being as fascinating as it is thrilling.

Orphan: First Kill (2022)

Oh, me of little faith. As a big fan of Jaume Collet-Serra's ORPHAN (2009), I was excited to hear that there would be a sequel but when I heard it would actually be a prequel that took place before the first film, I couldn't help but be a bit skeptical. How in the world were they going to pull that off? Isabelle Fuhrman was even reprising her role as pint-sized nogoodnik Esther! Say what now? Like many of us, I don't think Isabelle has gotten younger in the last 13 years. Obviously, they were going to use CGI in some capacity but that's always less than convincing or a downright annoying eyesore. Well, I'm happy to say they pulled it off with flying colors. There's actually a lot of practical effects and captivating forced perspective trickery involved, and I'd even say that the few moments when the effect isn't 100 percent convincing only adds to the film's overall devilish uncanny weirdness. They somehow transformed an obstacle into an attribute. Praise be.

The year is 2007 and kooky Estonian Leena Klammer (who suffers from a physical disorder that makes her look like a kid even though she's 31) cleverly escapes the mental hospital where she so clearly belongs. A little computer research reveals that she resembles a girl named Esther who had disappeared four years prior in the United States, so she hatches a plan to take her place. Poor, unsuspecting Allen and Tricia Albright (Rossif Sutherland and Julia Stiles, who apparently has been hiding her light under a bushel for years) welcome the imposter Esther into the home they share with snotty son Gunner (Matthew Finlan) but there are little hints that something just ain't right. All this may sound like a slightly modified version of the film's predecessor but stand warned, the film is as clever as "Esther" herself, it anticipates your every assumption and merrily dances on the grave of your expectations (and to the tune of "Maniac" by Michael Sembello no less)

Director William Brent Bell and writer David Coggeshall (with story assist by OG screenwriters Leslie Johnson McGoldrick and Alex Mace) truly understood the assignment as they say.
ORPHAN: FIRST KILL is a delightfully suspenseful, high-camp-infused, LIFETIME movie-bludgeoning, riotous throwback thriller that is every bit as entertaining as the (beloved, by me) sneaky gem that came before it. I'm not even sure we as a society deserve to have such a cinematic joy-dispenser after all of the dumb decisions we as humans have made over the years. Isabelle Fuhrman is a true marvel in her role that somehow harkens back to classic performances like Patty McCormack in THE BAD SEED (‘56) and Bette Davis in WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE? (‘62) at the same time; she truly owns this character. I thought I knew what I wanted from this film and I was worried I wasn't going to get it but the truth is it's better than I had the capacity to imagine. Now, I just hope I don't have to wait 13 years for the next one! Time's a wastin! We're not getting any younger!

X (2022)

One of the most satisfying experiences I've had going to the movies in many moons is when I went to see Ti West's X. It just looked so glorious on the big screen with its huge skies, stark horizons, and broad, eye-popping aerial shots. It's like an exquisite painting that uses every inch of the canvas properly, a perfectly designed iconic flag I cannot resist saluting. And of course, it stands on the shoulders of giants proudly declaring its loyalty to horror greats like Hitchcock, De Palma, Carpenter, and especially, the one and only, Tobe Hooper. Yet I forgot to post about it and the reason for that is that I talked about the movie so much to myself inside my head that I honestly thought that I had. But I recently snagged a copy on DVD and watched it again so now's the perfect time to remedy that.

It's 1979 and Wayne Gilroy (Martin Henderson) has a brilliant plan to take advantage of the burgeoning home video market by producing a porn movie. He gathers together the perfect cast with his main-squeeze, starry-eyed Maxine Minx (Mia Goth), leggy blonde bombshell Bobby-Lynne (Brittany Snow), and the generously endowed Jackson Hole (Kid Cudi). Helping out with directing duties is RJ (Owen Campbell) who brings along his meek girlfriend Lorraine (Jenny Ortega) to handle sound. The film is to be called "The Farmer's Daughters" so Wayne rents out a rustic farmhouse in the middle of Texas (actually New Zealand) from two of the scariest oldsters you ever laid eyes on. Things get off to an uncomfortable and shaky start and go swiftly downhill from there. I'm not going to give anything away but it's like watching that "American Gothic" painting by Grant Wood being ripped to shreds by an alligator but both the figures in the painting and the alligator are aging and decomposing at an accelerated speed. Â

There's nothing quite like watching a horror film made by someone who truly loves the genre and X sends off love letter vibes in every frame. There's a certain type of eerie, menacing magic going on here that truly transports; it's like strolling at dusk through a midsummer night's nightmare and when the you-know-what hits the fan the horror is palpable and feels as ancient and ubiquitous as time itself. My public service announcement is that if you suffer to any degree with gerascophobia (fear of aging) make sure you bring a blanket to hide under while watching this movie. I'm pretty sure I grew a gray beard and developed liver spots before the end credits.

Unsurprisingly and as usual, a major reason that I hold this film in such high regard is because of the people in it and the humanity it displays even in its darkest moments. Writer, director, producer, and editor Ti West gallantly makes a point not to look down upon, judge, or mock his rag-tag team of complicated yet personable outsiders. In one simple scene, they explain themselves and their outlooks and you kind of have to admire their freedom and ability to live outside societal norms unapologetically. It doesn't hurt that Britney Snow's Bobby Lynne sings a surprisingly moving rendition of Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide" which seems to momentarily stop the world from spinning. X is simply great filmmaking that is capable of conjuring up a cornucopia of emotions, horror being just one of them. Now, I better go buy some hair dye to cover this gray and maybe get some Geritol and prune juice while I'm at it. (Sobs quietly). Hey, why didn't I get a senior discount when I bought my movie ticket!?! Whippersnappers!

The Black Phone (2022)

Is modern life so bleak that THE BLACK PHONE, a horror-thriller concerning a boy who is abused both at home and at school and is abducted and kept prisoner by a devil-masked lunatic known as "the grabber" is somehow the feel-good movie of the summer? Yes. Don't blame the messenger. I'd even say it covertly sports the poignant reminder that we all survive and exist thanks to the acts and sacrifices of those who passed before us.
Ergo, I'd like to thank all my guardian angel ghosts out there. I see you and I'm mentally pouring one out to you.

Finney Blake (Mason Thames) is an affable 13-year-old living in an inadvertently hyper-stylish suburb in the aesthetically appealing golden year of 1978. Because he is modest and unassuming, most of his time is spent trying not to be beaten by marauding bullies or his brutish alcoholic father. Luckily he has a fantastic relationship with his younger sister Gwen (Madeleine McGraw) who has inherited their deceased mother's psychic gifts (and is routinely punished for them). Shortly after Finney's only friend and protector becomes yet another missing boy in their neighborhood, Finney himself bumps into a horrifically bizarre character driving a very conspicuous Magician's Van filled with black balloons. It doesn't end well. Finney finds himself in exactly the type of single mattress basement lair all sane minds fear. This one has a phone though- and it receives calls from his captor's past victims who are generous enough to share helpful advice.

Director Scott Derrickson and screenwriter C. Robert McGraw have already made it abundantly clear they know how to deliver the creeps with their previous collaboration SINISTER (2012). But whereas that film sometimes strained credibility in regards to human behavior, THE BLACK PHONE (based on a story by Joe Hill) has enough heart and soul to fully immerse you in the nightmare it's selling. Much credit goes to young actor Mason Thames' portrayal of Finney who comes across as a fusion of the grounded stalwart Laurie Strode (as played by Jamie Lee Curtis) in HALLOWEEN ('78) and the mournful and inquisitive every-kid Mike Pearson (as played by A. Michael Baldwin) in PHANTASM (‘79). He instantly reads as someone you know or have known and if you don't recognize him it might be because you were him. Ethan Hawke is equally convincing as the chuckling twisted predator who thankfully keeps his monstrous cards close to his chest. And who among us can look the gift horse of a hilarious supporting part delivered by the incredible James Ransone (SINISTER 1&2, IT: Chapter II) in the mouth?

THE BLACK PHONE is able to elicit sympathy for its characters in a way that is sadly too unique in modern horror which ramps the suspense up to stellar heights. It wants to scare you silly on one end of the receiver but the other end wants to remind you that maybe with a little help from some friends (living or dead) all of us are capable of sticking up for ourselves, fighting back, and finally treasuring those closest to us. As a kid from the seventies, I couldn't help but appreciate how it presented a very recognizable sun-bleached world to me full of humiliations, aggravations, injustices, and the frustration of always getting a busy signal when you give Jesus a ring through prayer.

Ultimately, THE BLACK PHONE is a great reminder that horror films can do so much more than scare us, they can also inspire us to be brave in the face of what seems like insurmountable odds. It's frightening, yet ultimately exhilarating; like an unholy cross between THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS and THE KARATE KID. Additionally, if you needed an extra reminder to stay the hell away from black vans this fine flick provides that too, and in spades.

Storm of the Century (1999)

I love watching winter-set horror films in the summer for a little mental relief from the heat but I also love to watch wintry horror flicks in the heart of the season when they are the most relatable. Come to think of it, I also dig them in fall and spring so I just took a long time to say I enjoy them all year round. Recently I popped in an old double VHS tape of Stephen King's STORM OF THE CENTURY, which I enjoyed when it first aired and I found myself surprised at just how well it has aged. It's truly chilling, has atmosphere you can cut with a knife and is filled with so many interesting characters performed by a cast of truly talented actors. There's also a phenomenal central villain, a runtime that provides full immersion and a rather nasty moral dilemma that could leave you with frostbite. King himself has called it his personal favorite of all the television productions based on his work and I'd totally agree if not for the fact that SALEM'S LOT (‘79) exists.

A small town is presented in full frenzy as they prepare for an oncoming winter storm. I can tell you from experience that New England storms are especially fierce when you reside by the ocean, as is clearly the case with fictional Little Tall Island (which we've visited before to meet DOLORES CLAIBORNE). Enter Andre Linoge (a perfectly unnerving Colm Feore) who begins offing oldsters with his wolf-faced cane, causing suicides, revealing everyone's darkest secrets and leaving graffiti everywhere that says, "Give me what I want and I'll go away." I don't want to reveal what tree this dog is barking up but I will say that I have a psychic hunch that Shirley Jackson would give his wicked proposal a big thumbs up.

Helping to make the horrific circumstances all the more harrowing is the fact that those caught in Linoge's crossfire are played by cream of the crop character actors like Jeffrey DeMunn (THE BLOB ‘88, THE GREEN MILE '99), Julianne Nicholson (personal fave THE OTHERS (2000) & Emmy award winner for MARE OF EASTOWN in 2021), Becky Anne Baker (the mom from FREAKS AND GEEKS! She's excellent) and even good old ‘80s staple Casey Siemaszko (THREE O'CLOCK HIGH, STAND BY ME). Some may be surprised that Tim Daly, best known for the sitcom WINGS is wonderfully nuanced, earthy and relatable as the troubled, narrating lead, but anyone who has seen 1988's fatal witch attraction flick SPELLBINDER knows the score (plus, who doesn't amongst us want to support Tyne's bro?).

Director (and former stuntman), Craig R. Baxley would go on to bring other Stephen King teleplays to the small screen (ROSE RED (2003), KINGDOM HOSPITAL (2004)) but he's best at his game here juggling compelling performances, creating a believable town to get lost in and throwing out striking imagery (with the help of cinematographer David Connell).

I'd even say you could take this in as a precursor to the type of work Mike Flanagan (MIDNIGHT MASS) has been excelling at delivering to Netflix recently. Like Flanagan's output, STORM OF THE CENTURY helps to erase the delusion that the big screen is superior to the small, especially when weaving such expansive tales. Though a hit with ratings and critics alike, STORM OF THE CENTURY has seemed to fall toward the bottom of Santa Stevie's bag of horror toys but I'm of the thinking it deserves to be much more appreciated. Personally, I think it's the gift that keeps on giving. It's top-tier Stephen King in my book.

Scream (2022)

I feel it's my civic duty to write a review for the latest SCREAM movie and yet all I really want to do is talk about how much I love the last installment in the franchise, SCREAM 4. I'm super happy that the new film is doing well with critics and audiences alike but where was this gushing positivity when brilliant Wes Craven's last film hit the scene eleven years ago? Yikes, that's another thing that's vexing me; was 4 really released that long ago? If I had to guess, I would have said it came out about five years ago. In any case, the new SCREAM is reasonably well done and offers plenty to keep one entertained even if I didn't exactly click with any of the new characters (at least not like I did with Kirby in 4) and I felt not enough time was spent with the returning OG's. It's OK though, I'm probably still going to watch it countless times in the future and surely the newbies will gel with me over time.

This is a SCREAM movie so I'll give away as little as humanly possible. The film opens with a scene that mirrors the first film's famous opening but with a few less teeth and a victim (Jenna Ortega) who somehow survives. Soon we are introduced to her estranged sister (Melissa Barrera) and her close-knit group of friends (including twins who are nephew & niece to departed Randy Meeks). As the ghostface killer continues to strike, we're again informed that everyone is a suspect as the group of teens discuss elevated horror, legacy characters and "requels" like an exhaustive buzzword laden Twitter feed. The SCREAM flicks have always been pointedly meta/self-aware so it's appropriate to offer this update of current horror film discourse and yet my corny self would rather be hanging out with Gale Weathers (Courteney Cox) at her new job as a morning news show host or maybe getting a glimpse of Sydney (Neve Campbell)'s new husband. At least we do get some Dewey (David Arquette) downtime, even if his character has been dumped in a trailer & is hitting the bottle.

Directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillet (READY OR NOT) do an admirable job of respecting the series overall (even throwing out a blink and you'll miss it Easter egg of life saving proportions) and some of the kills are wonderfully vicious (including one creepily conducted in the broadest of daylight). There's no way I'm going to look this gift horse in the mouth as the film successfully puts the franchise back on track on multiple levels and that's something to celebrate. I guess I'm just a bit let down by what and whom the film chooses to focus on when there are so many angles that might have been more interesting (at least to me). I will say that the films final reveal, though anything but innovative, is performed well and is sufficiently psychotic (even though I prefer part 4's more passionate revelation). Ultimately this is a laudable feast for fans that's nutritious enough even if I didn't leave the table completely satiated (like I did after viewing Part 4. Damn, I love that one so much. Justice for Kirby!).



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