I feel for the deranged fisherman with a hook in the latest ‘90s horror legacy sequel I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER cuz I relate to being incapable of getting over the past and I sorta want revenge for the injuries this flick inflicted upon me; most notably, extreme whiplash thanks to the drastic highs and lows it delivers. On one hand, it gifts a true magical mid-way sequence of such wonderful surreality that it’s destined for legendary status and on the other hand, some of the fireworks it attempts to ignite turn out to be lead balloons. For every delightful character there’s an irksome one, for every savage kill there’s a limp dispatch, for every perfectly constructed callback to the original, there’s a cringe-worthy ham-handed pander grenade. I’m saying it’s a bit uneven. Chef’s kiss in some areas and lunch lady slop in others. I’m not mad though, it’s a summer slasher revamp of a right place at the right time hit that always lived in the shadow of SCREAM so expectations deserve to be kept in check. I do admire its sheer audacity even if its wheels are a tad wobbly at times.

Again a group of friends are left with a moral dilemma after some dubious vehicular choices. Sadly, this time around the propelling accident is hardly their fault (imo) lessening the horror and the group are fine but hardly as charismatic as the classic crew. Par for the course, threatening notes are received, interesting characters are slain too early (RIP freaky true crime podcaster Tyler (Gabbriette Bechtel)) and Scooby Doo level detective work ensues. Maybe I’m just an old curmudgeon (scratch the maybe) but even though I understand it’s imperative to the plot, the switch from highly textured and atmospheric working class surroundings to a glossy, angular LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS backdrop takes it’s toll. There’s a certain amount of relatability that’s lost but maybe that’s just my feeling of disconnect to the intended generation Z audience. The elements that unnerved me in the original like that shady cameo by Anne Heche and the smelly trunk full of crabs are replaced by shiny churches, glass mansions and lame engagement parties. I gotta say though, I did dig the pop music playlist in this one more than the original so maybe I’m not quite dead yet.

As far as my fellow old-timers go, I enjoyed seeing Julie James (Jennifer Love Hewitt) transform from a wispy whiner to a wise, level headed, no more F’s to give, trauma-expert and doe-eyed pup Roy (Freddy Prinze Junior) becoming a rough around the edges paternal salt of the earth bar-owner. On the down side, some of the editing leaps all over the place making it feel like there were important connective scenes excised. Without getting into spoilers, some of the murders leave gasp-worthy visual aftermaths and some come across as tame enough for MURDER SHE WROTE’s Cabot Cove. There’s nothing here remotely as thrilling as the Helen Shivers (Sarah Michelle Gellar) stalking scene in the OG but there’s nothing as eye-rolling as STILL’s “Ben’s Son/Benson” reveal either. The killer reveal here is going to be divisive for sure but I’m OK with it as it amounted to some extra scene-chewing for all involved. Ultimately, this is an OK enough fast food diversion even if some of the almost non-human dialogue may leave you scratching your head afterwards. If nothing else, this earnest (director /co-writer Jennifer Kaytin Robinson is clearly a fan) salute to the original hit and its middling sequel (we as a society have collectively decided the third never happened) delivers one absolutely gonzo scene that felt like a hug from the slasher gods and an amusing coda that could be a springboard for more. It’s a cruel, so-so summer but there are enough bright spots to make the trip worthwhile.

Director Danny Boyle and writer/director Alex Garland have collaborated once again to deliver 28 YEARS LATER a sequel to 2002’s 28 DAYS LATER and its 2007 continuation 28 WEEKS LATER and the result is well worth the wait. 12 year old Spike (newcomer Alfie Williams) lives with his parents in a gated survivalist community. His mother Ilsa (Jodie Comer) is bed bound and often delusional thanks to an unknown sickness and his father Jamie (Aaron Taylor Johnson) is preoccupied with Spike’s impending young adulthood and ability to kill the infected rage virus victims that roam the countryside like zombies. Dad Jamie takes Spike on an ill advised right of passage hike outside of their safe zone where he learns of the different types of infected, from bloated worm eating slug people who squirm around in the mud to the oversized, highly dangerous, uber-endowed, semi-intelligent “Alphas” who lead crazed packs of rampaging marauders. Spike also learns of ostracized doctor Ian Kelson (Ralph Fiennes) who he imagines might be able to help his mother. After barely returning home alive, Spike witnesses revelatory incidents of his father being disloyal and untruthful and disillusioned, takes his ailing mother back out into the perilous (yet wonderfully scenic) countryside to find the doctor.

28 YEARS LATER is a breath of fresh air both as a sequel that compliments its predecessors and as an apocalyptic “zombie” flick in general (the 28 series may not actually be “zombie” tales but they certainly have influenced them, especially considering the popularity of TV series like THE WALKING DEAD & THE LAST OF US). It’s beautifully crafted, with excellent gritty cinematography (by OG 28’s Anthony Dod Mantle), includes innovative sound design, great music and the entire cast is top notch (particularly the lead family trio). Surprisingly, this horrific nightmare scenario also has a great deal of heart and possesses a sincere interest in respecting life, death and nature itself (most apparent via a cameo by the famous Sycamore gap tree which was tragically felled by 2 jerks in 2023) There are also moments of biting gallows humor and a wild absurdist streak that insures you won’t leave the theater bummed out of your mind. Not everyone will be on board for this crazy flicks tonal grenade conclusion (Note: I recommended this movie to my horror loving niece and she hated it) but I was thankful for the dose of lunacy after such a hearty, heavy trek. 28 YEARS is the first part of a trilogy (the second installment is already shot and will be released early next year) and I have to say I’m excited for whatever off the wall capriciousness comes next.

M3GAN 2.0 gilds the lily and then some, transforming a routine science gone wrong/killer doll horror tale into something more like a mash up of TERMINATOR 2 and MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. The result is a sometimes fun, sometimes headache inducing action comedy with only a few wires still connected to the horror genre. I won’t bore you with the avalanche of technobabble this movie asks its audience to endure, just know that the fashionable, sometimes murderous AI entity M3gan is back and this time she’s rebooted to fight another robot on the fritz who means to destroy the world via a mainframe computer that looks like leftovers from a BUCK ROGERS set. There’s tons of action and POWER RANGERS-esque fighting, many a double cross, and a bunch of heavy on the camp one-liners but it all mostly comes across as a directionless brainstorming session and I couldn’t help missing the original films uncanny, creepy undercurrent. Heck, I don’t even think the titular doll looks half as convincing in this so-called upgrade. It’s an amusing movie for sure, and I suppose it does have something to say about motherhood and its connection to our responsibility toward the growth of technology but nothing really convinces or seems like anything more than a jest. It all just feels like too much and too soon; sort of like directly following the original FRIDAY THE 13th ('80) with JASON X ('02).

None of this is the fault of Allison Williams who once again portrays M3gan’s sparring partner Gemma, who is able to participate in the action in a fresh new way even when burdened with unwieldy dialogue. She may be the only relatable character in the movie, especially at the moment when she shuts down M3gan’s impromptu interpretation of Kate Bush’s “This Woman’s Work” and yes, you read that correctly. It’s a memorable yet cringe-worthy scene that works as a good reminder that some originals just can’t be topped and if it’s not broke, why fix it?

Summer is here and the time is right for hitting the great outdoors… but vicariously through a TV set because it’s way too hot to step outside. Nightmare road trips are a horror staple so here are a few underrated flicks about folks who live to regret going where they shouldn’t have gone…

ANIMAL (2014) surely could have used a more distinctive title but I can’t be mad at a movie that delivers fine monster design, impressive practical effects, a committed cast (which includes future NOPE star Keke Palmer, CHASING AMY’s Joey Lauren Adams and Thorsten Kaye of SHARK ATTACK 2) and generous gore. It’s a monster movie AND a “Cabin in the woods” jaunt and I dig that it is simple, up front, streamlined and refreshingly straightforward. Some might prefer a little more explanation as to how, why or what the formidable creature is but I’m just going to assume its the offspring of the beloved mercury mutant(s) that wrecked havoc in John Frankenheimer’s PROPHECY (’79) and consider it an unofficial sequel. Extra bonus points for the Tomandandy (THE MOTHMAN PROPHECIES (’02), THE HILLS HAVE EYES (’06) THE STRANGERS (’08)) score!

THE MONSTER (2016) is written and directed by Bryan Bertino who did the same duties with THE STRANGERS (’08) but it takes a completely different nerve shredding path to provoke anxiety. Rather than fears of home invasion being stoked, this movie reminds ya how leaving your safe space is fraught with multiple dangers as well. As a card carrying agoraphobe, the hackneyed “car breaks down in the middle of nowhere’ scenario works on me all too well and the additional burden of having to look after someone else only adds to the unease. Here, a young mother with substance abuse issues (Zoe Kazan) is driving her teenage daughter to her dad’s house for her co-custody visit. The car hits a wolf and the two are stranded in the woods awaiting help with more than a few familial issues to iron out and something much worse than any canine on their tail. This one was released by A24 so you know it’s moody, determined to play with audience expectations, and not necessarily always a popcorn crowd-pleaser but Kazan delivers a harrowing performance and Bertino knows how to inject depth and tension to every hairy turn.

PRIMAL (2010) is an Australian mash-up of horror sub-genres that’s action packed, super kinetic and wonderfully grotesque. We’re in familiar territory from the get-go as a group of friends are on a road trip to study some cave art and sadly learn that said cave art is actually a warning for them to stay as far away as humanly possible (due to the tiny insects that can eat the tires off your car, the contaminated leech filled pond that can turn you into a feral fang toothed maniac, and the plethora of mysterious tentacles). If Cronenbergian contagion body horror is your bag you’re sure to be RABID (’77) for what comes next and if you dig possession flicks like DEMONS (’85) & THE EVIL DEAD (’81), or nature gone wacko flicks like THE RUINS (’08) you should feel right at home here too. Bad decisions abound and a few moments might be a little too slick for their own good but when this movie starts heading for the finish line it fires on all cylinders. The directing (and editing) by Josh Reed is refreshing and vivid, the cast is easy to hang with and the final girl-friendly finale is savage, off the wall, and utterly bizarre.

It’s back to Australia with DYING BREED (’08) a film that features not one but two legendary figures. I’m not talking about WOLF CREEK’S Nathan Phillips and writer, director Leigh Whannel who both star in the film, but a murderous cannibal known as “The Pieman” and the notorious Tasmanian tiger. Friends on a road trip (compete with multiple driving aerial shots, natch) travel into the wild in an attempt to complete their pal Nina( Mirrah Foulkes)’s deceased sister’s research involving an extinct marsupial who is rumored to still exist. They end up staying in a seedy backwoods hotel occupied by creepy, too friendly locals who turn out to be descendants of the dreaded “Pieman” and covertly keeping up the family legacy (by reheating Tobe Hooper’s non-vegan nachos). Triggering mayhem ensues on multiple levels & I’ll look past the (staged) animal cruelty because it fits the film’s survival of the fittest theme. There’s a WRONG TURN meets DELIVERANCE (’72) vibe that I just naturally find harrowing and an EDEN LAKE mean streak that bums me out in a way that I thoroughly respect. It’s a tension packed cannibal meat pie with more than a few surprise teeth baked into the dish.

Speaking of TCM, the sadly hard to find (check YouTube or Dailymotion) Indonesian blood soaked gorefest MACABRE (2009) deserves a lot more eyes on it. A group of victims, I mean friends, are driving to the airport (for a job offer in Australia no less) when they spot a young woman who seems stranded and lost. Not realizing you can never trust any other human in this life ever, they decide to play good Samaritan and drive her home. Ostensibly wanting to repay their kindness, she invites them in to meet her family leaving out the detail that her family is insane, kills folks on the regular, and sells the scraps to rich peeps who want to stay looking young (Main mama villain Shareefa Daanish is truly stunning so it’s clear the murder=Youth theory has got some merit). This movie rallies near DEAD ALIVE (’92)-level carnage with gusto as the group (which includes a very pregnant woman) try their hardest to escape the lunatic family while their numbers dwindle in the grisliest of ways fast. Who will survive and what will be left of them (spoiler: not many & not much!)?

SINNERS is something truly special, an instant classic and one of the most impressive and epic vampire films ever made. This is true prestige horror that offers a full meal so do yourself a favor and see it in the theater where its glorious cinematography can shine and its outstanding score can be heard in its purest form. I feel like I really lucked out by somehow never witnessing a commercial or trailer for Ryan Coogler and Michael B. Jordan’s latest collaboration and so every moment that unfolded seemed to offer a fresh revelation. I read zero reviews but was aware that word was positive though even with that knowledge I was not prepared for how moving, transportive and provocative the film would be. The greatest surprise perhaps is what a great testament it is to the power of music and I’ll just say there’s a scene that connects the past, present and future so beautifully that I’m still getting chills right now thinking about it. Having said that, the less you know the better so I won’t say much more but if you love movies this is a must see. I was blown away by multiple performances, the assured direction and just how deeply it cuts. I’ve seen some compare it to FROM DUSK TILL DAWN (’96) and that’s true in some surface and structural ways but I think its stronger, more frightening elements reminded me more of INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (’78) and THE THING (’82) in that much of the horror and tension comes from the frightening realization that one can never trust others completely; not even those closest to us. That’s just one take away from literal infinite layers and insights this stunning work offers but it’s one I felt was particularly relatable in our current world.

HELL OF A SUMMER is a fun and frothy ode to camp(y) slasher flicks with a winning cast that may be a bit too cautious for its own good. It’s been-there, done-that magpie Frankenstein approach is both its selling point and its curse as some of its greatest attributes are borrowed and it sometimes fails to make a deep enough cut of its own. The plot is mostly color by numbers with a group of young folks preparing a camp for opening day getting picked off one by one by a masked serial killer. THREE’S COMPANY level misunderstandings provid laughs and road bumps along the way. It’s an agreeable enough good time that would probably benefit from multiple views but I can’t help wishing it leaned into FRIDAY THE 13th (’80) / THE BURNING (’81) gore as much as it does the HAPPY CAMPERS, WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER (both 2001) humor (that’s me though- I’m always wishing for more bloodshed and HOAS’ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME inspired poster may have gotten my hopes up too high). Above all, its greatest asset is jolly lead Fred Hechinger (He of Netflix’s FEAR STREET and the phenomenal THELMA (2024) ) who makes the whole excursion worthwhile with his buoyantly bonkers and constantly entertaining performance. He pretty much carries the whole canoe on his back uphill and in my handbook, deserves all the merit badges.

WEREWOLVES is insane and preposterous and god help me, a delightful good time. Folks say you should never use the term “guilty pleasure” because you shouldn’t feel guilty for liking something but phrases exist for a reason and yes, I do feel guilty for enjoying this nonsensical, wacked-out werewolf rampage movie and that guilt is part of the fun and should not be policed! This movie is almost the exact opposite in intention as Leigh Whannell’s recent maudlin joykiller WOLF MAN and its all the better for it. Plus, guess what it delivers in up-the-wazoo spades? Werewolves. Giant, hairy, sharp toothed dog-faced, black nosed, pointy eared werewolves (who sometimes even wear adorable outfits). Color me smitten and doing a silent prayer thank you bow as we speak. Listen to this: the world we’re presented here is still recovering from a super moon that took place a year ago which turned roughly half the population into werewolves. Obviously this occurrence was not ideal so preparations are made to curb the lycanthropic enthusiasm during the up and coming super moon. Mistakes are made, blunders abound and poor soldier/scientist Wesley Marshall (Frank Grillo giving J. Statham and even K. Russell a run for their money) must save the world (and his widowed sister in law and niece) from roving bands of giant howling beasts that seemed to have been raised on radioactive Alpo and PURGE sequels. It’s so goofy but it’s also exactly what would make me scream into my Snoopy sleeping bag as a monster loving kid. Again, not proud, but there in lies the all the fuzzy fun.

UNTIL DAWN operates more like a video game than the actual video game it’s based on. Directed by David F. Sandberg (LIGHTS OUT (2016), ANNABELLE: CREATION (2017), UNTIL DAWN operates a bit like 2014’s EDGE OF TOMORROW (aka LIVE, DIE, REPEAT) with characters trapped in a loop experiencing their own demises multiple times until they can hopefully suss out an escape. An excessively attractive group of young folks hit the road in search of a missing sibling (cue standard aerial shot of car winding through the woods) only to find themselves trapped facing a litany of supernatural horror staples. It’s a bit CABIN IN THE WOODS (2011) meets TOURIST TRAP (’79)/ HOUSE OF WAX (2005) and although it won’t win any awards for originality it does steadily provide the comfort horror gruel we all deserve. Much like the late nineties/early aughts output of Dark Castle Entertainment (HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (’99), THIRTEEN GHOSTS (2001), et al.) it’s a little too slick and glossy for its own good but admirably maintains a mean streak when it comes to bloodshed and creature design. Sandberg knows his way around constructing false diversion scares so what could have been as limp as something like last years’ pedestrian TAROT actually provides a few genuine jolts. Sadly, it’s not always possible to overcome the lack of high stakes baked into the script but the cast is likable enough (I mean c’mon Peter Stormare as the creepy antagonist is worth the price of admission alone) and the flick is generous enough with the creative kills that its hard not to have a good time. Poor UNTIL DAWN probably would have benefited by being released much later in the dog days of summer (and further away from the shadow of mammoth SINNERS) but I’m betting it’ll find the appreciative comfort horror audience it deserves in due time. It’s perfect slumber party fare.

There’s an area in our home referred to as “The Black Hole” as things tend to disappear there never to be seen again. The notion that something uncanny exists in the space is backed up by the fact that our cats often stare into it as if seeing something we don’t. The corner consistently aggravates due to it being adjacent to the stereo which means CD’s and their covers are often separated. About seven years ago I put an ALICE IN WONDERLAND Cheshire Cat weeble-wobble figurine on top of a speaker and it too went missing. I searched for hours and actually began to think a houseguest had stolen it. One day years later it seemed to reappear but it turned out that my husband had simply purchased a new one off of eBay (in hopes surely that he would never have to hear about the missing object again). Appeased, I moved on. Then, this past holiday season I went to fetch the Christmas music mix CD we’ve played every year for the last decade only to find that it too had vanished. As I searched the area once again saying aloud “It’s gone forever, nothing ever comes back from this space” and while thinking of the Cheshire cat specifically, I looked exactly where I had looked many times before only to see him! He was facing straight forward, plain as day, smiling directly at me! So now there were TWO identical Cheshire cat toys, great! I placed them next to each other and we went to an Xmas party, told the tale to a couple friends and came home later to find that… one had disappeared again! Maybe a cat knocked it over? There’s several logical explanations but it was gone again for sure. I’ve again searched everywhere. All this to say, I know exactly what it’s like to give an inanimate object the side eye and worry that it may not be exactly what it seems. Something tells me I will come across that grimacing orange face again.

Anyhoo, Osgood Perkins’ THE MONKEY is mostly your basic cursed object tale based oh so very loosely on a short story by Stephen King. It starts out fairly faithful but Perkins, apparently high off the lingering lunatic fumes of LONGLEGS, drives the whole kit and caboodle (I just learned the phrase is not “kitten” Caboodle”) into wacky town. Inherited generational trauma is at it again as Petey Shelburn Sr. (Adam Scott giving Richard Benjamin) finds he’s in possession of a murderous monkey toy who causes death and destruction whenever he plays his drum (much like the mannequin in ODDITY, its hard to believe anyone could look at it and not immediately presume it was evil incarnate). The damned toy ends up in the paws of his neglected twin boys (both played impressively by Christian Convovery), Hal (a nerd) and Bill (a bully) who try to dispose of the thing only to find it has returned years later to wreak havoc on them as adults (Theo James takes over the part in later years playing the duo with much winking zest). Childhood resentments between the two resurface as the monkey keeps drumming and the world turns into chaos around them. This is a very broad, throw everything at the wall black comedy that has no interest in the slithery unease that Perkins has built his reputation on. It probably forgoes some of its potential fright factor in favor of gross out gags but that will probably work in its favor in the future for those looking for a casual cult-ready horror party movie to watch.

For the most part, so much fun is clearly being had that you can’t help chuckling along with the gruesome gallows humor but some of it is so punch drunk giddy that it had me wishing it would settle down, sit up straight and take things more seriously. I love the whole time crash aesthetic of the film (it looks like it takes place in every decade besides the ones it actually does take place in), I dig its commitment to the sparkle motion of slapstick gore and elaborate FINAL DESTINATION-style calamity demises (the cherry on top fate of a busload of cheerleaders is chef’s kiss) and the performances are fun, eighties-style broad stroke joys to behold (Theo James’ take on adult Bill is almost channeling Billy Zane in DEMON KNIGHT ('95), Elijah Woods is a hoot, Sarah Levy and Tatiana Mislay have a campy blast and Perkins provides one of the most hilarious director cameos ever committed to film). But again, it does get to be a bit silly at times. A scene involving a hornets nest and now seemingly chronic movie disruptor Rohan Campbell (HALLOWEEN ENDS’ notorious Corey Cunningham) is so over the top it would be more fitting for a Roadrunner cartoon. It’s all still highly entertaining for sure, but I was sort of reminded of the “Angel in the Morning” moment in IT: CHAPTER 2 when ya kinda wish the goofiness was taken down a notch. That said, as much as I wish THE MONKEY stung the psyche as enthusiastically as the funny bone and maintained a bit more of the dread of the original story, there’s no denying the infectiousness of Perkins’ twisted enthusiasm. His genuine love of the genre is clear throughout and it’s a gift to witness him take his moody gloves off and play pander-free with this sometimes wildly macabre, sometimes utterly ridiculous wind-up toy.