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Kindertrauma Funhouse

March 16th, 2018 by unkle lancifer · 14 Comments

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Kindertrauma Funhouse:: Name That Tagline!

March 9th, 2018 by unkle lancifer · 8 Comments

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Kindertrauma Funhouse:: Hosted by Dylan Donnie-Duke!

March 2nd, 2018 by unkle lancifer · 14 Comments

UNK SEZ: Today’s Funhouse is hosted by Dylan Donnie-Duke of THE WALTER PAISLEY MOVIE HOUSE!

The Walter Paisley Movie House is dedicated to the appreciation of the little engines that could not. A bearer of witness to those who try so, so hard, and fail with the beauty and grace of a Van Damme splits montage. A missionary on a quest to spread the Gospel of Garbage, to bring forth the heathen of mainstream cinema, and baptize them in the John Waters.

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Kindertrauma Funhouse!

February 23rd, 2018 by unkle lancifer · 8 Comments

There are ten differences between the SILENT MADNESS poster above (A) and the SILENT MADNESS poster below (B). Can you find them all?

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Name That Trauma:: Vojta on a Creepy Creature Sitting at a Desk

February 20th, 2018 by unkle lancifer · 3 Comments

Hello there,

My name is Vojta, 25 years of age and I’m from Czech Republic. A friend of mine recommended me your site and told me, that you could – perhaps – help me.

I’m struggling with finding this movie for a really long time now. I literally had nightmares and trauma still many years afterwards. I couldn’t fall asleep at nights as I was seeing the scene right in front my eyes. Actually, I still do and I would be so very grateful if you’d know this movie and help me out from my 15 years of misery, haha.

Alrighty, so this is what I remember…

The camera is looking on a staircase in quite a big and spacious family house with a door above it. When the door opens, a mother with their children (or maybe just one child) walks out the door and they all look frightened, looking around and so. Under the stairs there is an office desk with a chair behind it turned backwards to the table/camera. Then, they slowly go down the stairs, being as quite as possible. When they reach the desk, the armchair starts turning and there’s sitting this creepy man/creature.. (sadly I can’t describe him much).

That’s all I remember, because then my parents turned it off.. It wasn’t later than 2005, I think.

If you know this, again I would be so grateful.

Have a great day,


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Kindertrauma Funhouse

February 16th, 2018 by unkle lancifer · 15 Comments

Hey, let’s celebrate THE RITUAL being on NETFLIX by taking a trip to the woods today! How many of these woody movies do you recognize?

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I Recommend…

February 7th, 2018 by unkle lancifer · 16 Comments

Dear kinder-kritters, I’m going to be going on a trip to visit family and my computer is not invited so the lights are going to be off in Kindertrauma Kastle for a spell. Normally I’d hire a sitter but since sitters attract home invasions and unwanted telephone solicitation, I have decided against it. I won’t be gone long and I plan to return with an extra spring in my step. Please help yourself to anything you find in the fridge and do wait a half hour after eating to swim in the moat!

While I’m gone let’s say we play a game of “I Recommend” in the comments section of this post! If you’ve recently seen a movie you enjoyed please tell your fellow Kindertrauma pals all about it. You can simply leave the title with zero explanation or expand upon your thoughts to your hearts content. Add as many as you like! If you can provide how you viewed your recommended title (via Netflix, Hulu, telepathy, osmosis, through the crack in a car trunk at the Drive-In etc.) that couldn’t hurt either (I’ll even start first). Have fun. Be safe. Don’t open the door for anyone!

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Name That Haunted House Movie!

February 2nd, 2018 by unkle lancifer · 24 Comments

Hey! WINCHESTER opens today and the screenplay was written by my very own brother so make sure you go see it! In the meantime, below are images from twenty haunted house flicks. How many can you identify?

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Name That Trauma:: Scott P. on Multiple Monsters in an Old House

January 29th, 2018 by unkle lancifer · 9 Comments

Scott P: Not my trauma, but one of my favorite musicians ( Ginger Wildheart ) was asking about this on Twitter, & I suggested he come here to see if any of the experts can crack it. In case he didn’t see that Tweet, I thought I’d send the details he mentioned :

Trying to remember a movie where there are monsters inside of an old house. Some are tall, some are hunched deformed things. It was made in the last decade. The action kicks off in the kitchen, and culminates in a tall creature chasing a woman down the hall, while a hunched over goblin thing sits in the corner.

It was not a found footage film. I think the premise of this horror movie was a house built on top of Hell, or something.

These monsters all looked different from each other. Different shapes, sizes and looks. Some of these monsters weren’t remotely human shaped.

It was a small budget movie, not much promotion. I think it was American, but had more of a European horror than a 50’s B-movie feel. It was an indie flick, similar vibe to Digging The Marrow, looked fairly expensive too.

Any chance we can figure this out for him? Thanks!

~ Scott P.

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Name That 30 Year Old Horror Movie Poster!

January 26th, 2018 by unkle lancifer · 21 Comments

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