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Kindertrauma Funhouse

June 14th, 2019 by unkle lancifer · 10 Comments

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Name That Trauma:: Giacomo on a Force Feeding Cartoon

June 12th, 2019 by unkle lancifer · 4 Comments

I was wondering if you are familiar with an educational cartoon that I saw during my gradeschool years (70s to 80s) that was about nutrition and hygiene that had an inflation scene in it. The film followed a number of characters with diet and hygiene issues and showed the pitfalls of each to the extreme.

The only one I remember vividly was a boy who was overweight and was always eating candy. He was sluggish and couldn’t keep up with his peers while running in PE and he had candy bars sticking out of his pockets. He gets invited by some sort of mad scientist to go to his candy factory for “just a taste”. Though he says he really shouldn’t, he agrees that “just a taste” would be ok.

Instantly, he is strapped to a chair and whisked away into the candy factory. A feeding tube is attached to his face which squirts pellet candies into his mouth and two robot hands grasp his jaws forcing him to chew. Humiliating music is played as the chair moves rapidly along a conveyer belt from station to station, where he is force-fed various sweets. His belly grows and grows, sticking out from under his shirt, to enormous proportions. I seem to recall seeing little robot hands squeezing his belly, sort of plumping up his fat almost as if they were tickling him.

Seeing this as a young child of probably 7 or 8 years old, this scene kinda traumatized me. It was more traumatic for me than the Violet scene in Willy Wonka because it actively showed force feeding whereas with Violet, the inflation seemed accidental rather than intentional.

My questions are: Have you seen this film? Do you know the title? Do you know where I can find it, ie: youtube, etc…?

I would be greatly appreciative of any responses.

Sincerely,

Giacomo

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Kindertrauma Funhouse

June 7th, 2019 by unkle lancifer · 4 Comments

There are 10 differences between the image above (A) and the image below (B). Can you find them all?

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Godzilla: King of the Monsters

June 6th, 2019 by unkle lancifer · 4 Comments

Count me in as someone who loved GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS. I’m so glad I went to see it on the big screen so I could fully get lost inside its whirlpool of mayhem.  There are images in this movie that are so beautiful as if they were religious paintings come to life, and there are moments of true awe that hit like (literal) lightning strikes. My peepers really got a workout and I left the theater feeling like I just experienced a heartwarming reunion with childhood friends. Man, I love them monsters! Godzilla is like a big misunderstood doggy, Ghidora is a devilish badass, Rodan is a mischievous opportunist and Mothra is the sweetest angel who ever lived. It’s as if the quirky denizens of Winnie the Pooh’s Hundred Acre Wood became quarrelsome giants who spit fire and topple buildings. The movie is over two hours long but I kind of wanted to stay forever (even if just to bask in BEAR McCREARY’s incredible score that weaves in past themes (especially good old Mothra’s signature tune) in a gorgeous way).

Of course you do have to suffer through a dozen or so human characters making plans and pointing at computer screens but I’m happy to say I found the normies reasonably compelling and sometimes moving too. I’d probably jump in front of a flying bullet for VERA FARMIGA at this point (she’s nearly up there in the JAMIE LEE CURTIS/SIGOURNEY WEAVER zone now). FARMIGA plays Dr. Emma Russell whose family is dealing with the loss of a child and while ex-hubby Mark (KYLE CHANDLER) and daughter, Madison (STRANGER THING’s MILLIE BOBBY BROWN in her big screen Kristy McNichol-esque debut) are grieving in constructive ways, Dr. Russell has taken the route of toxic self-destruction to a new, global level. There’s a scene of her speeding a vehicle forward with a snarling three-headed Ghidorah snipping at her heals that blew me away as an illustration of a wounded person desperately trying to outrace their inner demons. Her motives are completely insane and I so totally understood them.

It’s crazy that a summer blockbuster stuffed to the gills with disaster and mass destruction could also shine with unabashed adoring love but thanks to director MICHAEL DOUGHERTY (he of the instant classics TRICK ‘R TREAT and KRAMPUS) here we are. There’s so much in this film about how humans interact with nature and creatures that we aren’t capable of fully understanding that really resonated with me. There are several moments when we get to finally feel for Godzilla in a way that I think has always eluded filmmakers before. In one instance returning character, Dr. Ishiro Serizawa (KEN WATANABE) gets to look Godzilla straight in the eye and thank him for what he has meant to him and geez, it’s so lovely.

I’m a little stunned that GODZILLA: KING OF MONSTERS is getting mixed reviews as it offers more than a few sights, sounds and experiences that can not be experienced anywhere else. I’ve enjoyed the previous films in this current franchise (GODZILLA 2014, KONG: SKULL ISLAND) a great deal too but this is the first one that really hit me down deep in the heart. My only complaint is that after seeing the film the title smacks a little of moth erasure. Behind every good lizard is a great moth! Man, I’m so in love with Mothra that the next time I find a hole in my sweater I’m just going to shrug my shoulders and let it go.

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Traumafession:: Amanda M. on Perfect Murder, Perfect Town

June 5th, 2019 by unkle lancifer · 2 Comments

Hi! It’s me again.  I’m currently watching “Perfect Murder, Perfect Town”.  It’s a movie about the murder of Jonbenet Ramsey.  I wanted to watch it again…well to be truthful, I wanted to watch the whole movie for the first time.  The first time I attempted to watch it was in 2008.  The scene where John Ramsey, her father, finds Jonbenet dead in the basement, he picks her up.  Her arms, which are tied over her head, do not move.  This was the first movie I’d ever seen where they actually depicted rigor mortis the right way, because the dead body was stiff as a board.  I mean, I knew intellectually at the time I saw the scene for the first time, that they used a dummy.  Still, though, it really disturbed me.  I’m pretty good at suspending my disbelief, so of course, I was pretending that it was really Jonbenet and I was watching the discovery of her body. 

I didn’t turn the movie off right away.  It wasn’t until they had a morgue scene where the body was displayed from toe up to the head.  Again, I knew it was a dummy, but it still disturbed me to see a little girl’s “body” on the slab.  I turned it off then and didn’t watch it again until just now. I used to live in Colorado, but it wasn’t Boulder.  It was Colorado Springs. 

Ironically 1996 was the year my family moved from Colorado back to Ohio, where I’d spent most of my life.  We moved back to Ohio just weeks before Jonbenet was murdered.  I was 14 and the news blew me away. 

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Traumafession:: Bigwig on Gumby and The Small Planets

June 4th, 2019 by unkle lancifer · 2 Comments

  I recently introduced this site to my parents.  Ma Bigwig found it particularly fascinating, and both enjoyed and remembered a great many of the subjects in my posts over the past decade. She brought up one that I hadn’t thought about for dozens of years, that I only vaguely remembered since I was no older than four or so, but Ma insisted it should be included on my trauma highlight reel. I researched based on what she remembered, and we watched it on the youtube, and yeah, I get it.

Gumby – The Small Planets.  Art Clokey must have read Le Petit Prince and decided there was plenty of room for a quick moralistic Gumby adventure in the same vein.  With little to no buildup, Gumby announces he’s fed up living like a slave, controlled by his parents, and sets out to find his own planet to live in peace. He’s made his choice and is already happy about it.  A reluctant Pokey is along for the ride, as they hop in a book, and a spaceship therein.

They visit three small worlds in their whirlwind odyssey, each inhabited by a child who (presumably) also got fed up and ran away from home. These kids demonstrate poor behavior, and Gumby decides his situation wasn’t so bad after all.

The first planet is the lair of Train Boy, a Davey and Goliath leftover puppet, who kicks them off rather than share his world and glorious train sets and fires a missile at them.

Second, we have a girl who delights in frightening our duo with a giant dinosaur mask, but then wonders upon their hasty egress why she has no playmates. (also a Davey and Goliath looking castaway)

And third, the clincher…they find a very intense Claymation boy unlike the previous two playing a piano. Pokey sneezes, which sets the kid off, pulling his hair and screaming that his “Beautiful Arpeggio” was ruined. If that wasn’t bad enough, he morphs into a lycanthropic demon hybrid to further hammer the point home that they are not welcome.

Mom says I hid under the kitchen table after watching this one. ( AKA – young Bigwig’s Fortress of Solitude)

So there you have it, kids, if you ever think you have it bad at home, take a look at what else is out there waiting for you….the selfish;  those who find delight in your fear, and bonafide psychotic monster children just waiting to tear your arms off for sneezing.

All the best,

Bigwig

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Kindertrauma Funhouse

May 31st, 2019 by unkle lancifer · 10 Comments

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Scared Stiff (1987)

May 30th, 2019 by unkle lancifer · 2 Comments

If you’re looking for a haunting, quiet, and subtle ghost story, 1987’s SCARED STIFF sure ain’t it because damn, this movie is bonkers. It’s tacky, garish, politically incorrect on multiple levels and somehow, against all odds, entertaining as hell. It’s hard to take seriously, with it’s over the top acting and scrambled script but there’s such a go for broke, throw anything at the wall and see what sticks enthusiasm that it’s hard (at least for me) not to enjoy its sloppy lunacy. As much as it borrows heavily from literally countless films that came before it, I can’t claim that it’s not unique as it’s the only movie I know of that involves a child who adores a pet appliance (an electric lamp with a racist American Indian face upon it) that inexplicably grows to a grotesque size and chases someone down a hallway. This movie is truly crazy.

Psychiatrist and electric shock enthusiast David Young (the always intense ANDREW STEVENS) moves his lover and ex-patient (!) Kate Christopher (MARY PAGE KELLER of the early FOX sitcom DUET) and her son Jason (JOSH SEGAL) into a mansion with a long history of slavery, murder and voodoo. Kate just happens to be a famous pop star (SHEENA EASTON wisely declined the role) which wonderfully allows for several scenes of her filming windy MTV-style videos while lip-syncing to original eighties-era soft pop tunes(!). It’s not long before the house is besieged with ominous pigeons, Kate is having sex with ghosts and David gets caught up in the kind of possession that makes his eyes glow and gives him the urge to kill those closest to him. Before anyone gets the idea to head for the hills, a handyman hangs himself, corpses are found in the attic, toys come to life and a home computer spits out a worrisome digital 3-D death mask. The film’s finale is remarkably even more nuts utilizing hallucinatory surrealism no doubt inspired by the then super popular ELM STREET series.

Believe it or not, SCARED STIFF is a based on an original script by MARK FROST of TWIN PEAKS fame. It’s safe to assume additional writers DANIEL F. BACANER and director RICHARD FRIEDMAN (who is responsible for the equally bizarre DOOM ASYLUM) crammed in all the added derangement. This isn’t a good film by any stretch my friends but it is wacky and nonsensical enough to always be interesting. STEVENS and KELLER make highly watchable leads even when trapped with daffy dialogue and you really get your money’s worth in the practical effects department (plus, I’m all kinds of partial to movies with multiple mental hospital scenes stocked with zealous background performers pretending to be crazy). I’m surprised SCARED STIFF (also known as THE MASTERSON CURSE) isn’t a bit more notorious as a cult flick but it sadly skipped a DVD release before finally winding up on Blu-ray and that probably explains its low profile. If you’re the type that would be interested in a low grade haunted house flick that apes better flicks like BURNT OFFERINGS and the HOUSE series, this could be right up your alley. If you’re not a bad movie lover then make like SHEENA EASTON and take the morning train far, far away!

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Kindertrauma Funhouse

May 24th, 2019 by unkle lancifer · 7 Comments

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Kindertrauma Toy Chest

May 22nd, 2019 by unkle lancifer · 4 Comments


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