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Traumafession/Name That Trauma Solved:: Jeff U. on The Ghost That Came Alive

September 3rd, 2014 · 6 Comments

I’ve been perusing your site for a while now after discovering it this year, and I believe I have the answer to a Name That Trauma” from May 7, 2009. PhanWolf asked about a book with a haunted house on the cover and thought it might have been called “The House that Came to Life.” I had that same book and avoided the cover as well when I was a kid. It’s called “The Ghost That Came Alive” by Vic Crume. Here’s a link to it on Amazon.

Anyway, maybe PhanWolf is still holding out hope for an answer…five years later!

UNK SEZ: Thanks Jeff! We’ll try to contact Phanwolf! By the way, I noticed something strange while putting together your post. Something about the author’s name and the title of his previous book rang a bell. Last week I picked up a book at the thrift store and it’s currently propped up by my desk starring me in the face, “The Mystery in Dracula’s Castle” by Vic Crume!

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Tags: Name That Trauma! · Traumafessions

Traumafession:: Whitsbrain on The Bullwinkle Show Intro

August 29th, 2014 · 6 Comments

A self-admittedly odd “scared you for life” story…

This piece of music and accompanying video will immediately send a cold shiver through my entire body. My reaction to it has been the same since I was a little kid. I’ll get goosebumps if I hear it and if it gets stuck in my head, it will give me the willies no matter where I am. Middle of the day, at work, at home, in the car, grocery store…it doesn’t matter. And yes I know, there’s NOTHING outwardly scary about it!

Over the years, I’ve tried listening to it, nearly torturing myself to get used to it (or over it) but my natural reaction to it is freaky. I don’t know if something about the animation in tandem with the theme bothers me…it’s beyond strange. Maybe something bad happened to me when I was very young while it was playing. I have no clue.

And the silliest thing about it is, I can watch Bullwinkle all day long and actually enjoy it. But if I listen to the theme and see this video…instant shudders.

I’m ice cold right now just thinking about it. I can hardly bring myself to paste the link:

Traumatized since childhood,


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Tags: Traumafessions

Traumafession:: Unk on Count Iblis & War of the Gods

August 24th, 2014 · 5 Comments

I’ve probably mentioned before that I enjoy movies and shows that take place in a snowy setting. I’m only half kidding when I say that I believe they allow my eyeballs to air condition the inside of my head. Recently (while waiting for that slow poke CURTAINS DVD to arrive!) I decided that I’d get a quick snow fix by taking in the BATTLESTER GALACTICA (original series) episode “The Gun on Ice Planet Zero” because the only thing better than an ice planet is an ice planet with a robot dog running around on it. I know it’s really just a chimp in a costume but that hardly makes it any less adorable, unless of course, you think about how it was probably no fun for the chimp, who I hope was at least handsomely paid with bananas. Anyway, while watching this snowy episode I began to remember that there was another GALACTICA episode that kinda freaked me out as a kid and so I skipped ahead and watched that episode right afterward. It’s called “War of the Gods” and like “Ice Planet,” it’s a hearty two-parter, though alas it’s sadly snow free and low on chimps.

In this episode a bunch of pilots go missing so our intrepid heroes Starbuck, Apollo and Sheba investigate a planet that looks like California filmed in infrared. There they discover a massive crashed ship and an imposing fellow named Count Iblis who speaks in a grandiose manner and has a shifty glint in his eye. They take him back to the Galactica and that’s where he really starts acting smarmy, telling everybody what they want to hear, making huge promises to all who will listen and even putting the moves on Sheba who is easily half his age.

Perhaps due to having recently experienced an epic holocaust that nearly wiped out the entire human race that was caused by one duplicitous dude’s flimflam, Apollo’s not exactly itching to buy the space equivalent of swampland in Florida. He goes back to the planet they found Iblis on to investigate the wreckage further and is followed by Starbuck and Sheba and a pissed off-Iblis. What Apollo finds in the ship’s mangled debris is never shown but it’s obviously damning evidence against smooth taking Iblis who is particularly loath to have Sheba learn his true colors.

As Apollo begins to out Iblis with other names that he is known to go by, including “Prince of Darkness,” Iblis decides maybe he’ll just kill Sheba to shut him up and curse Apollo’s conscience forever. As he shoots some kind of magic death ray out of his hand towards Sheba, Apollo being Apollo jumps in front of it to save her and is killed himself (What!?!). Seeing his buddy dead throws Starbuck into a heart-wrenching rage that still makes me verklempt and he begins wildly blasting at Iblis and the gunfire reveals Iblis’ real face and it’s a pig face. Yep, a demonic pig face. The effect hasn’t held up very well but neither have I, so I guess we’re even.

Back as a kid in the seventies, I had much to worry about. Would I get that Lego set I wanted for Christmas? (Nope). Would I be good at sports? (Nope). Would I excel at school? (Nope). Was my awkwardness a phase that I’d grow out of? (Nope). Would I become possessed by the Devil? (Still pending). It sounds pretty dumb now but back then Satan was ubiquitous and inescapable and looking back it didn’t help matters that those I looked up to and believed in made it pretty clear he was a valid concern. I remembered feeling somewhat betrayed, BATTLESTAR GALACTICA was where I went to get away from such worries. Satanic phantoms were for horror movies and Sunday school; what were they doing here on my favorite show?

Kid-me needn’t to have gotten so wigged out though, as this episode really knows how to clean up a mess; by the time the end credits rolled I was able to jump into bed with no worries. Starbuck and Sheba put Apollo’s dead (Still, what!?!) body in a shuttle and began their sad journey back to Galactica and on the way there, they encounter what looks like a giant sparkling chandelier that welcomes them aboard and bleaches all their clothes a pristine white. The place is crawling with calmingly mellow angel/aliens who are super wise and considerate and very open about not being big fans of Iblis.

They show Starbuck and Sheba Apollo’s dead body and Sheba starts to loose it because she figured what transpired had to be a nightmare. The kindly angel people tell her that she’s the one who was meant to be pushing up daisies on account of her being bamboozled and ask her if she would trade her life for his (Oh no, now I’m getting all verklempt again). Sheba and Starbuck are both like, “Hells yea! We’d switch places with Apollo in a heartbeat because he’s so awesome and we love him.” And so the angels bring Apollo back to life and they don’t even make the other two drop dead as payment because it’s like WILLY WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY and they just wanted to test them to see if they were assholes or not. So everything works out great, the aliens erase the entire incident from everybody’s head so that nobody has to deal with the ramifications and then to be extra friendly, they shove the coordinates of Earth in their noggins instead. So basically, bite it, Count Iblis.

Look at me trying to sound flip when in actuality I was riveted the entire time and sincerely moved. The tale of good vs. evil, of the temptation to sell out what you value for shortcuts and empty promises and learning that only through selflessness can you regain all that you’ve lost must be as old as the hills but maybe there’s a reason for that. People can say whatever they want about this show, that it’s corny or too kid friendly or too reliant on special effects and is overall simplistic when compared to the more complex re-imaging but simply seeing the expression of awe and gratitude on Sheba’s face when Apollo is resurrected is enough for me.

We sometimes (i.e., always and especially lately) live in a terrible, frightening world. There are plenty of secret pig faces (e.g., politicians, religious leaders) selling pie in the sky dreams if only you hand over your humanity. But as any chandelier worth its crystal can tell you, it’s really our bonds with each other that matter. So again I must say bite it, Count Iblis, you wretched pig face. But I should add that actual pigs are nice and by many accounts as smart as dogs. I’m going vegan or at least I’m not buying a bacon bowl anytime soon.

Note: There’s another trauma lurking inside this trauma, a memory of an even younger me having to go a couple doors down to a strange family’s house to memorize Bible verse and being paid in useless colored ribbons for my efforts. The head of the household was a motorcycle enthusiast (and a cop?) and a poster hung on the wall of their garage depicting a guy on a cycle saying something like, “So what if I’m a male chauvinist pig?” and yes, you guessed it, he had a pig’s face. It was a very disturbing image and frankly these people’s entire house smelt funny and why am I not surprised my parents were fine with leaving me in the care of total (and strange smelling) strangers as long as it meant my being out of their way for a while? I swear anybody who survived being a kid in the seventies deserves a reward and not a useless colored ribbon either. Maybe a Lego set.

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Tags: @Unkle_Lancifer · The Seventies mushed my head · Traumafessions

Traumafession:: Writergirrrrl on the poster art for It’s Alive III: Island of the Alive

August 22nd, 2014 · 1 Comment

My mother worked at a video store when I was still in the single digits and some of my fondest childhood memories are from the days I spent hanging out with her at work. I used to spend hours perusing the horror section, silently daring myself to turn the boxes over and look at the gory stills on the back. My mom did the ordering and I absolutely lived for the days she would bring home Manhattan phone book sized catalogs full of poster art. The one that has always lodged most firmly in my brain was It’s Alive III: Island of the Alive , with the bassinet on a tropical beach and that twisted claw reaching out. It drives me crazy that I never managed to see that movie!

The movie snobs of the world look down on us horror junkies. They dismiss horror films, especially the slashers, as cheap, derivative and brainless. And many of them are. But what most people don’t realize is that there are memories attached to these films for a lot of us. My mother loves telling me the story of how she way staying up with my grandfather when he was dying of lung cancer and he woke from his heavily medicated state to catch her watching John Carpenter‘s version of The Thing. He cussed her out in French (my grandparents were Canadian) for watching something so disgusting, but wound up staying awake to finish it with her. So, yeah, many – if not most – horror movies are gross and dumb, especially the recent ones. But every once in a while you come across a good one, one that makes you leave a light on when you go to bed and run back from the bathroom like when you were a kid. Sometimes it’s not even the whole movie, just one scene or a particular image.

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Tags: Traumafessions

Traumafession:: Melody M. on a Drowning on Drugs PSA

August 19th, 2014 · 3 Comments

I’ve noticed a lot of PSA-trauma sharing lately, and I wanted to get in on it and share the one that scared me the most as a kid.

This one here:

The idea of drowning in your own bedroom just completely terrified me. I had nightmares about that happening for weeks after I saw this.

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Tags: Traumafessions

Traumafession:: Senski on a Seat Belt Public Service Announcement

August 18th, 2014 · 3 Comments

Well, it’s been over two years since I posted about two PSAs that left an indelible mark upon my wee psyche but they stubbornly remain unearthed. I’ve since found some internet confirmation on the former’s creepiness, with one additional detail; a solemn narrator who repeatedly intoned, “Someone left their keys in the car…” So to spur your readers into digging once again on my behalf, I offer this PSA from the same period (I swear this and the joyriding one would often air in succession) that is sublimely eerie – and to the best of my knowledge it has never appeared on Kindertrauma!

The stentorian tones of Jack Webb take a whole minute (doesn’t that seem long today?) to warn viewers of the dangers of forgetting to use seat belts while driving. Some unsettling flutter-cut editing flashes forward to revealing the painful consequences for three negligent drivers – I always expected the guy on the beach to be shown in a casket – but it’s the sound effect that pushes this one into trauma territory for me. It’s a tympani roll, but one that’s cut off in mid-crescendo and not allowed to naturally trail off. Even the best percussionist couldn’t recreate this tone, and by pulling the plug on the roll, it stops the viewer short. Not unlike a car crash…

Judging from the comments this has received on YouTube, it seems to have made the same impression on others of my era. And that lady was so nice to brew a pot of coffee for us; so sad what happened to her..


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Tags: The Amazing Senski · Traumafessions

Name That Trauma CONFIRMATIONS :: Reader Simminy on “Another Man’s Family”

August 11th, 2014 · 1 Comment


I can confirm that Tom P. from 3/12 and JLP from 2/10 are both haunted by the same vintage fire safety film as I am, which I learned today is called “Another Man’s Family.” Thanks to Kindertrauma, after 40 years I now know that I didn’t imagine it.

It’s available on YouTube, although the quality is extremely poor… but you can still watch the whole family drop dead one by one in their blazing home and then see the fire department rake the ashes of the kid’s toys in the morning.

Oh yes, perfectly suitable to show to a classroom of 10-year-olds in 1972.


Cool site!

– Simminy

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Thanks Simminy for finally putting the fire out on this lingering Name That Trauma. The video is available in three parts on YouTube (PART 1, PART 2, & PART 3), but as Simminy cautions, the quality is quite poor. I recommend muting the sound and playing “Burning Down the House.”

Also, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that the Amazing Senski suspected “Another Man’s Family” in the comments on JLP’s initial Name That Trauma, but the video was not available on YouTube at the time of his posting. Thanks Senski!

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Tags: Name That Trauma! · The Amazing Senski · Traumafessions

Traumafession:: Jamie P. on an Unrepentant Muppet Murderer

August 10th, 2014 · 5 Comments

THE MUPPRT SHOW, Episode 310, spring 1978. “You’re Always Welcome at Our House” and we know you will stay.

Yeah, inviting muppets into your house to kill them is not fun for children who are 4 years old.

Especially when it comes a few weeks after the terrifying Alice Cooper episode.

These are the kinds of things that make you wonder if age-ratings for television shows are a good idea after all

UNK SEZ: Thanks for another delicious traumafession Jamie! I did a little research and learned this creepy ditty was penned by the great SHEL SILVERSTEIN. You can hear the original version HERE. Now, I hope you realize that since you mentioned the ALICE COOPER episode we’re going to have to watch that too (see below)!

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Tags: Traumafessions

Traumafession:: Jamie P. on Watership Down, Lord of the Rings & Friday the 13th

August 9th, 2014 · 3 Comments

I grew up with a father into science fiction and a mother into horror.

My father took me to see Watership Down in the theater in late 1978 or early 1979. Either way, I was 5. All the bunny rabbits were instant friends. Yes, they got into fights and some scary stuff right off the bat with Fiver’s psychic vision of impending bunny-doom if they didn’t flee the warren. Their voyage to their new home was a struggle, but they made it and had happy bunny families and lived happily ever after…

No. Instead of ending the movie there, we got to see the Black Rabbit of Death come to take away all my bunny rabbit friends. The Black Rabbit of Death haunted my dreams for years. I don’t even want to listen to that song from the movie. Why did we need to see the bunnies off to another plane of existence? Perhaps because of Lord of the Rings, where Tolkien grinds us down to make us read about the passing of all the Ring Bearers and of the Elves.

Lord of the Rings, another 1978 movie I should not have been taken to see. Looking it up on Wikipedia I see that there was substantially more of the film than I remember. Because for me, the movie ended when Boromir was pierced by orc arrows and dripping with blood, in his drawn out death scene, apologizing for trying to steal the Ring.

Now for mom and grandma. Friday the 13th, the first movie from 1980. I was now a stalwart 6 year old. Who doesn’t know what happened in the movie because he was hiding under the theater seat for almost the entire thing. This is a serious WTF were you thinking situation: your mother and your grandmother are laughing at you, a 6 year old, for being terrified of a slasher horror movie. No comfort; no he’s too young, we should go. They thought it was funny for me to be hiding in the sticky goo under the seat.

And yes, I was hiding for most of the movie. But then I was told the scary parts were over and it was ok to emerge from my sticky warren of fear. They weren’t. Nasty decomposing monster Jason jumps out of the lake, a surprise for everyone. And traumatic for me.

Oh and Jaws. Two and a half years old and taken to see Jaws. Bad parents. Bad.

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Tags: Traumafessions

Traumafession:: Fiji Mermaid on Alien (1979)

July 23rd, 2014 · 2 Comments

Unk and Aunt John, it’s you dear old ghoulish friend, Fiji Mermaid. I’ve got a Traumafession for you.

After reading a few recent traumafessions I realized as much as I love horror and scary stuff all my life, it’s really out of true enjoyment, fun I guess. Rarely… rarely has anything scared me at any age. When it’s happened it’s quite memorable. The one big and first clear memory of something scaring me was a scene in “Alien” (1979). I was maybe around 9 years old. My dad rented the movie for me on VHS. I definitely was looking forward to seeing it. I knew some things about the movie, but not a whole lot. Basically it was going to be a monster movie that takes place in space. Now a big thing to me was that I knew exactly what the Alien looked like because when I was around 3 years old my parents bought me the know legendary Kenner giant action figure. I loved that toy and played with it until it fell apart. So I was really looking forward to seeing the monster on the silver screen.

All the stuff up to and including when Harry Dean Stanton’s character is killed was enjoyable and not scary in the least, but then the next kill is what did it. Dallas going into the ventilation system to hunt down the Alien, when clearly they had no clue what they are up against. Parker did describe it as “big, like a man” sized thing, but still it didn’t seem frightening. But when he’s in the tubes and everyone is watching the computer screen and the tracking system and he seems to be disoriented really made the tension tight. Being that he was a main character I thought, no way he’s going to die, he’ll make it out. Right when I thought he’d escape he turns around and the AlIEN reaches out to grab him with a weird scream and feedback over his microphone. The editing, music, performances, visuals… it terrified me. I was literally frozen with fear. I couldn’t move, couldn’t close my eyes nothing. It took a minute for it to wear off. That scene was a success.

“We found this laying there. No blood, no Dallas, nothing. How come I don’t hear anybody say anything?” – Parker

I’ll tell you why Parker, nobody is saying anything, because we are frozen with FEAR!!

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Tags: Traumafessions