July 4th, 2014 · 16 Comments
May 26th, 2014 · 1 Comment
February 14th, 2014 · No Comments
Harry is lost in the mine! Help him get out so he can kill again!
Now it’s time for a dance number featuring CYNTHIA DALE (MY BLOODY VALENTINE‘s Patty!)
Hell, let’s do another one of those…Go Patty!
This program was brought to you by…
December 25th, 2013 · 7 Comments
UNK SEZ: Here’s hoping all you fine folks are having the best holiday ever. I am currently trapped in a video game but we will be back to our regularly scheduled kindertraumatic program shortly-ish!
December 9th, 2013 · 13 Comments
Loyal readers of Kindertrauma know that the Mickster loves Rankin-Bass Christmas specials. In fact, my very first traumafession in 2007 was about Frosty the Snowman. Over the years, I have also written about The Year without a Santa Claus and Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. This holiday season I share my feelings on ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.
Junctionville has a problem. The people of the town have just received their letters to Santa unopened. Unfortunately, Santa is quite perturbed about a letter he received that called him a “fraudulent myth” that was simply signed “all of us”. Now, the townsfolk must devise a plan to make Santa happy again before he passes them by on Christmas Eve. Egad! What a traumatic thought!
This special is one of many (Rudolph, Year Without a Santa, The Grinch, etc.) that convinced me that Christmas could be canceled due to some unforeseen problem. As a child, I found it especially troublesome that a child (Albert the jerk-head mouse) would write a letter saying that Santa was not real. I speculate it is sour grapes on his part because contrary to the signature on the letter he, in fact, has no friends. Little Mickster did, however, find it heartwarming that two adults would try to make things right with Santa. Joshua Trundle, the clockmaker, decided the solution was to make an enormous clock that would play a special song for Santa on Christmas Eve, and Father Mouse attempted to convince his troublemaking son that Santa was indeed real.
The music in TTNBC makes it quite special. “Give Your Heart a Try,” sung by Father Mouse to the doubtful and arrogant Albert is catchy and fun. I have noticed that this song is cut when it airs on ABC Family. That is just unacceptable. “Even a Miracle Needs a Hand,” sung by Joshua Trundle to his sad children to raise their hopes simply makes me smile with a hint of a tear. “Christmas Chimes are Calling Santa,” played for an annoyed Santa on Christmas Eve brought relief to me as a child because I knew Santa would forgive the town and come after all.
There was plenty of suspense in TTNBC for me as young child. Would the town stop blaming Mr. Trundle for the clock not working before he and his family starved for lack of work? Would Albert (the stupid moron) fix the clock in time? Would Santa forgive the town? Bottom line-Believe in Santa and be good, or there could be dire consequences!
P.S. Santa looks totally bizarre sporting buckteeth and no mustache!
November 28th, 2013 · 2 Comments
October 31st, 2013 · 6 Comments
- IT’S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN!
- PROJECT RUN SCARED: THE TEN WORST HALLOWEEN COSTUMES
- JAMIE LEE CURTIS’ FOLLICLE FUNHOUSE
- THE LIVES AND LOVES OF LAURIE STRODE
- HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH (A HOLIDAY CLASSIC!)
- 12 HORROR HOUSES TO AVOID WHEN TRICK OR TREATING
- HALLOWEEN, IT”S NOT JUST FOR HALLOWEEN ANYMORE
- HALLOWEEN: DEATH AND THE MAIDEN
October 21st, 2013 · 9 Comments
Today is the day I finally realized without a shadow of a doubt that I am trapped in the wrong dimension! I do not belong in this hell world where the pilot for THE ELVIRA SHOW went unaired. I belong in the alternate universe where THE ELVIRA SHOW ran for six seasons and now airs nightly repeats in syndication. Get me out of this damned dimension! I want to go home!
May 27th, 2013 · 7 Comments
Hope everybody out there is having an excellent Memorial Day! I have to give you a warning that things may be a little quiet around here for an undetermined amount of time. Here’s the thing, we are moving out of the Kindertrauma Kastle! Don’t worry we found some place older and darker and bigger and better! It even has a vestibule, the only thing I ever wanted! I decree that we will never move again and that I shall grow old and die at this new address! Isn’t that cool?
The rub is that there is so much packing etcetera to do that I need to focus and laser style. I’m going to be as nervous as a hermit crab between shells until we are in our new abode with all the hatches battened down! I’ll certainly post any and all traumafessions and “Name That Traumas!” that come in, but our reviews and regular features like Friday Funhouse and Sunday Streaming will have to be put on hold. Those suffering from acute trauma withdrawal are invited to explore our extensive archives and to LIKE us on Facebook HERE! Hang tight! We’ll be back to haunting the internet at full capacity before too long!
March 31st, 2013 · 1 Comment