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Traumafessions :: Fox of Tractor Facts on Pete’s Dragon

September 2nd, 2008 by unkle lancifer · 4 Comments

Well, I guess it’s time I get this out and over with.

I was raised to whisper these kinds of things to a priest behind a one-way wicker viewer, but since I dropped my faith, I now seek penance at the knees of Uncle Lancifer and Aunt John.

I have been a mama’s boy my whole life, but I think that was set in stone the day my parents took me to see PETE’S DRAGON. Others may trace their fear of backwoods people back to THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, DELIVERANCE, GOD’S LITTLE ACRE, etc., but mine began with the appearance of the Gogans in PETE’S DRAGON.

Forgive me for not remembering the scene so accurately (after all, it was traumatic… I’ve tried to block it), but there is a moment in the film where the hillbilly Gogans are hunting for the runaway Pete with their clubs and sticks. It made me beg my mother to take me out to the lobby. I refused to go back in, so I’m sure we just sat on a bench and she held my head to her while I waited for my sisters and father to finish watching the movie.

It was the Gogans’ dirty faces, nasty teeth, filthy hats, and redneck noses that scared me so. Oh, and their voices. These were people that sounded like animals. I’d never seen such scummy looking humans before in my life.

UNK SEZ: Fox, I just reacquainted myself with those hillbilly Gogans and their non-smash hit “The Happiest Home in These Hills.” All I can say is, you are correct, those folks are grade “A” trash. For a moment I thought I was watching a documentary on my pre-Aunt John dating history (which, full disclosure, does include SHELLEY WINTERS!). In the life imitates sub-art category: one of those flea-bitten, urine-stained, good-for-nothing foaming at the mouth louses one day grew up to be T.V.’s JEFF CONWAY!

P.S. : The ALWAYS sly “Fox” has got a swinging pad of his own a couple doors down that ya’ll should swing by called TRACTOR FACTS!!!!

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Tags: Traumafessions

4 responses so far ↓

  • 1 FoxNo Gravatar // Sep 2, 2008 at 12:41 am

    Bless you guys for making my traumafession even more alive on your site.  Your photoshopping never ceases to blow my mind.

    I think that picture up top will be my laptop wallpaper for quite some time! 

    Ah… Jeff Conaway.  Poor soul.  You know, I didn’t know he was in so much stuff in the 70’s and 80’s until I clicked on his IMDB profile.  He’s in an episode of Mary Tyler Moore called “Menage-a-Lou”… whoa… that’s a traumafession waiting to happen

  • 2 mamamiasweetpeachesNo Gravatar // Sep 2, 2008 at 9:25 am

    My mom took me to see PETES DRAGON and I was pouring POP ROCKS into my hand and licking them off when …a POP ROCK shot right into my eye! Wow- talk about childhood trauma!

    I have not seen PETE’s DRAGON (with one eye OR two) in years but I do vaguely remembering the hillbillies singing a song that went “Petey, oh Petey, you’re like a son to us…….”
    I also recall a scene where one of these smelly degenerates says to a more clean and normal townie “You scratch our back and we’lls cratch YOURS’ to which the man looks like he’s going to puke at the very thought!
    Hmmmmm…maybe it’s time to rent this again. (I’m sure it has aged terribly)

  • 3 FoxNo Gravatar // Sep 2, 2008 at 11:29 am


    Did the Pop Rock still activate and crackle in your eye when it hit the tears?  That is a great memory!  Pop rocks scare me.

  • 4 mamamiasweetpeachesNo Gravatar // Sep 3, 2008 at 10:19 am

    No, it popped once and that was the end of the Candy Assault.

    I still like eating the watermelon falvored oes though…the trick is to open the packet and shake it INTO your mouth…not your wet paw!

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