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Don’t Be Afraid of The Remake: Ten Other T.V. Movies Ready For the Big Screen

August 24th, 2011 by unkle lancifer · 33 Comments

With a big budget remake of DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK opening this Friday and talks of KOLCHAK leaping to multiplexes in the near future, it seems the remake machine is wising up to something many of our readers have known for a long time; that some of the best horror tales in existence spawn from the small screen. I present to you now a list of ten other T.V. movies that I think might deserve a big screen treatment, Be warned I left out STEPHEN KING classics like IT & SALEM’S LOT because nobody needs my nudging to remake KING and I skipped over some of my absolute favorites like SATAN’S TRIANGLE, BLACK NOON, DYING ROOM ONLY and MANY MORE simply because I either could not convince myself that they could be done better or I wasn’t sure modern audiences would know what to do with them. There are so many great T.V. movies that a list of ten was not easy to compile so if I’ve left out any of your favorites, feel free to sing their praises in the comment section!

10. THE BERMUDA DEPTHS (1978)

I’m just going to get this one out of the way right off the bat. I’m not sure if it should be filed under horror, action or romance but I do know that its fans are some of the most passionately devoted out there. A story involving a giant sea turtle may be a hard sell in this cynical age but it may also be exactly what the doctor ordered if the correct tone is established. In fact, if done right it could appeal to a wide variety of ages. The original T.V. movie did indeed receive a theatrical release in foreign countries so perhaps TBD’s leap to the big screen is not nearly as farfetched as one might think. Screw AVATAR sequels, JAMES CAMERON should be all over this epic oceanic lovelorn adventure.

9. DUEL (1971)

I pity the fool who tries to follow in STEVEN SPIELBERG’s footsteps but if it’s ever going to be attempted this is a good place to start. The original was so well received that it graduated to play in not only European theaters but in US theaters as well. An update could add a class war element with the main character being a snooty modern urbanite and the phantom truck driver being a faceless good ol’ boy/ mudflap girl enthusiast. In any case, car movies tend to do well at the box office, so jack up the stunts and let her roll.

8. MR. BOOGEDY (1986)

This family friendly, haunted house comedy is a no-brainer. Go gross, go goofy, go 3-D, rake in the dough and leave BEETLEJUICE in the dust. Many folks have fond memories of the original but even kids unfamiliar with the title would be chomping at the bit to check out this funky phantom. Clueless Disney owns the rights so don’t hold your breath but the original led to BRIDE OF BOOGEDY, so I see major franchise potential. C’mon on Disney, this is your chance to make up for lousing up THE HAUNTED MANSION to such a vile degree!

7. HORROR AT 37,000 FEET (1973)

This movie may be hokey but there’s no reason why the remake has to be. In fact, I think this would be a great project for my pal and yours JOHN CARPENTER. Think about it, the story involves a plane carting ancient druid stones that ends up being threatened by its supernatural cargo. It’s basically PRINCE OF DARKNESS in the air! The endangered are small group of people from all walks of life and who has more experience directing folks thrown together and forced to battle side by side against an unknown foe? (Think THE THING, THE FOG, ASSAULT ON P13, etc…) CARPENTER can upgrade the scares and the believability and he’d have a blast getting all metaphysical explaining the cargos power with his very own screenplay (which he’ll surely credit to a fictional entity.) The story even has a dog in it and I know he has worked with canines before!

6. THE SPELL (1977)

There was many a copycat in the wake of the success of CARRIE but this one offers several unique wrinkles. THE SPELL’s vengeful conjuring teen is overweight and not only has a “perfect” sibling but also a hyper critical mother hiding her own powers that she must battle as well. It would be easy as hell to slap this story into a contemporary setting and touch upon current topics of interest like high school bullying and the pressures on teen girls to conform to a certain body type. STEPHEN KING’s novel CARRIE features a plump protagonist, since none of the official adaptations of his work has yet had the nerve to feature this element, here’s a chance to rectify that slight.

5. THE DEMON MURDER CASE (1983)

History has shown that possession movies, particularly ones based on “true” stories tend to fill theater seats. This tale that takes place in Brookfield, Connecticut where yours truly once resided, is ripe for the picking. Of course you might have some trouble securing rights from the folks who it actually happened to who say it’s all a sham but perhaps they could be quelled by a DVD exclusive documentary focusing on their side of the story. All I know is this movie and the corresponding book “The Devil in Connecticut” scared the living crap out of me once upon a time and that some of the details (the demonic old man with hooves and a charred plaid shirt) true or not, still give me the heebie-jeebies.

4. BAD RONALD (1974)

I don’t know about you but I can’t get enough of BAD RONALD. There’s only so much that can be done on television, so here’s an opportunity to delve even deeper into the psyche of this intriguing character. How about using HEAVENLY CREATURES as an inspiration and showing on screen, in detail, Ronald’s elaborate fantasy world? Nerdy outsider characters seem to be all over the place these days, so how about giving us one who is actually interesting?

3. DON’T GO TO SLEEP (1982)

A little girl comes back from the dead to convince her younger sister to kill the rest of their family. Hey, we need more killer kid movies because nothing is more entertaining! It’s fool proof really because if it fails to convince it will still be funny as hell. The story of course will have to be updated with fancier kills. Has the electric pizza cutter been invented yet? This remake will also get extra points if it casts VALERIE HARPER in the role of Grandma and retains the haunting signature closing shot.

2. TRILOGY OF TERROR (1975)

The truth hurts but it must be said, nobody cares about the first two stories in this trilogy. The best idea would be to make this an all-Zuni doll affair and return to RICHARD MATHESON’s original story title “PREY.” The Zuni fetish doll is a sleeping giant of a horror icon and if Chucky can run for five films and counting, I think little Zuni has the potential to follow suit. By the year 2022, I personally require a Zuni vs. Chucky movie!

1. DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW (1981)

Now this one comes with a genuine, pre-existing fanbase. It hardly matters though because how can you beat that title? What horror fan would ignore such a thing on a marquee? They’d have to be thick! Also, here’s a chance to make something specifically for the Halloween season. My advice would be, amp up the atmosphere a couple notches, pour on some extra blood and just sit back and let the story do the rest. How could it not work? Furthermore this classic tale would offer some seriously meaty roles for actors who were up to the challenge. What A-lister in their right mind would pass up the chance to play a mentally challenged person or an unstable mailman? Both roles are Oscar bait! I’m thinking CILLIAN MURPHY as Bubba and MICHAEL CHIKLIS as Otis and maybe KATE JACKSON as Bubba’s mom as a nod to THE SCARECOW AND MRS. KING. What? Why are you looking at me funny? It needs to happen yesterday. Jeez, give me 20 million dollars and I’ll make it myself!

So that’s my ten and I overlooked only a couple hundred. I wouldn’t talk T.V. movies without asking T.V. movie gal pal Amanda by Night for her two cents, so for ten more T.V. movies that deserve big screen makeovers jump over to MADE FOR TV MAYHEM and check out Amanda’s top ten picks HERE!

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Tags: General Horror · Giant Turtles · Kinder-Topix · Trauma Au Courant




33 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Amanda By NightNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 9:40 am

    Great list you came up with!!! Thanks for asking me to participate!

    I didn’t think about The Demon Murder Case for some reason. I would definitely be up for a remake of that!

    I also wavered on Trilogy of Terror. I think it would be the craziest wet dream ever to see Zuni and Chucky go toe to toe… We need this to happen.

  • 2 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 9:52 am

    Late last night I started having second thoughts about these picks. How can you remake Horror at 37,000? I don’t think planes like that even exist anymore! Maybe set the movie in 1973?

    I thought THE BABYSITTER may be a better choice. I love usurper movies forever and I dig how she stores her victims in plastic bags.

    BTW I don’t really think Cillian Murphey should be in DNOTS I just think it’s funny that he played a scarecrow in a movie call Dark Knight for some reason.

    DMC is still scary to me. I think they should remake that one just to keep the story alive. It seems to have been mostly forgotten.

    As long as remakes are not travesties like “The Fog” & “Prom Night” I mostly don’t mind them and I like that they bring attention to the original source material.

    ZUNI VS. CHUCKY in 2022!

  • 3 turnidoffNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 10:21 am

    I posted this on FB. I don’t even know where Im posting anymore! I’m all for a Dark Night of the Scarecrow remake. The only film that made me terrified of corn silos. My ideal casting choice would be Pruit Taylor Vince as Bubba. He’s got that quivering eye thing going. It’s a bit creepy

  • 4 ChrisNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 10:22 am

    Nice choices, Unk. I’d pay to see ’em in theaters, or stay up late to watch ’em on the tube, if they were ever remade.

    My choice for TV based remake? 1991’s The Haunted! While that sucker’s scary in it’s own right (“Janet! Janet!?!”), with a bit more fleshing out of the paranormal investigators, and some updated effects (though, keep the Jeff Demunn ghost rape as is. Spooky lookin’ fat ghost lady and skinny blonde meth spirit freak my ass out!), and it could be something special.

    Oh yeah, one last thing. I dunno if you got my thank you e mail, but I got the Bikini Girls on Ice DVD last Saturday. Thank you again! 🙂

  • 5 Walter PaisleyNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 10:26 am

    I’d like to see a big-screen remake of This House Possessed! That’s something I haven’t seen since I was a kid, yet I can still remember entire spooky scenes.

  • 6 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 11:01 am

    Taylor,

    PTV- That’s some good Bubba or I was thinking maybe that guy from My Name is Earl! I’m thinking Bubba should be sorta youngish though. Maybe Jason Segel in a dramatic turn! Ha, I love playing cast the remake!

    Chris,

    THE HAUNTED is an excellent choice! Scared the hell out of me. Amanda was even pointing out in a past post how much it resembled INSIDIOUS. Someone really should jump on that property! I love the “Based on a true story” stuff even though I take it with a huge grain of salt. Who do we get to play Janet Smurl? I’m leaning toward Laura Linney and I insist that Jack Smurl be played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

    I would go see THE HAUNTED opening day no doubt.

    And glad you got your DVD! I meant to send it out earlier but it kept raining. I have the blu ray here but I have not watched it yet. I’ve been watching all Mexican horror lately.

    WP,

    THP is on Amanda’s list. I think that is her favorite of all time. I agree that one would be great to see big budget with a crazy fancy house but I don’t want them to go overboard like the house in 13 GHOSTS. That house could never exist!

  • 7 Jami JoAnne RussellNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 11:34 am

    I always wanted to remake every single Stephen King book based movie. They all deviate so much from the book that they lose a lot of what made them scary in the first place. (Pre-accident King stuf, at least. I don’t know, ever since that car hit him his writing hasn’t been as good.)

    Same with Dean Koontz’s stuff. I know a lot of people have problems with how religious his books can be, but I like them. However I hate how they do things like change a character who’s suppose to be a 10 year old physically handicapped girl into a sexy 17 year old.

    And while I do enjoy the tv show Dexter, I’d love to see movie versions that are faithful to the books. Especially the parts where Dexter realizes Rita’s kids are future serial killers themselves.

  • 8 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 12:11 pm

    JJR,

    Poor SK has had some bad adaptions! Some good ones too though! One post carsmash book of his that I loved was DUMA KEY. I really got into that one.

    I haven’t read KOONTZ in awhile but I was obsessed with THE VOICE IN THE NIGHT as a teen and I just watched INTENSITY on Fearnet. I thought that was pretty good.

    I’m also a big fan of his FUNHOUSE adaption. As much as I love the movie it would be cool to see a remake that included some more of what’s in the book!!

    Can you believe I have never seen DEXTER? I keep seeing his bobble heads and wondering what I’m missing.

  • 9 Erin LashleyNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 1:30 pm

    Great list! I didn’t realize Dark Night of the Scarecrow was a TV movie. If I had a vote, I’d want a remake of The Norliss Tapes, only they’d have to call it something else since nobody uses tapes.

  • 10 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    Erin L. You do have a vote! The Norliss Tapes is a great idea! If we set it in the seventies we won’t even have to change the title! That’s my new trick!

    In a similar vein I was also thinking about “The Possessed” about an ex-priest sent back to Earth to fight demons…

    http://www.kindertrauma.com/?p=5356

    I’m so shocked neither of the X-Files movies worked out. I’d love for there to be a big screen series about investigating the supernatural!

  • 11 Erin LashleyNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 2:24 pm

    Yes, the X-Files movies were heartbreakingly meh.

  • 12 TaylorNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 2:35 pm

    KILLDOZER.

  • 13 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    Holy hell YES on KILLDOZER!!!

    coming summer 2024…..

    ZUNI VS KILLDOZER: DEMOLITION EARTH

  • 14 TaylorNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    My girlfriend and I very nearly named our cat Killdozer.

  • 15 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    New Game: Top 5 TV movie titles that would make great cat names!

    5 Bad Ronald

    4 Shogun

    3 Lace

    2 Bill

    1 Invitation to Hell

  • 16 Amanda By NightNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    Zuni (OK, it’ s not the title, but work with me…)

    Deceptions

    Devil Dog (see, it’s a cat. That’s funny)

    Bay Coven

    A Girl Named Sooner

    Comeback Kid

  • 17 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    Settled. My next cat is named “Zuni: the comeback kid”

    5 WORST Tv movie names for cats:

    5 Baby for Sale

    4: Cyber seduction: His secret life

    3: Coed Callgirl

    2: My Stepson, my Lover

    1: I know my first name is Steven

  • 18 TaylorNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    “NO, Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life! BAD Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life!”

    I bet the vet would have very very few other patients with colons in their names.

  • 19 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 7:31 pm

    I’m just going to start hanging up flyers all over town that read “LOST CAT! Answers to Cyber Seduction: His secret life! If found please call 555-5555!”

  • 20 godmonsterNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    Fun conversation, and Killdozer is a great name for a cat. I can’t really think of any TV movie titles that would make a good name for a cat, besides Bad Ronald. I remember Gargoyles when I was a kid had cool monsters, and certainly we could do much better know. It would make a good syfy channel movie. Also “The Girl Most Likely To” would be very relevant today and would probably go over well with the young crowd if they kept the dark comedic aspects. Stockard Channing plays a homely girl who gets plastic surgery to become beautiful, so she can go back and murder the kids who teased her for being homely. I think a lot of kids can relate to that.

  • 21 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    Godmonster,

    Gargoyles is a great idea!

    “Girl Most Likely too” sounds awesome. I remember seeing that DVD and never even reading the back. I didn’t know that was a TV movie. I have to track that down. That sounds like my kind of movie!

  • 22 PropagatrixNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    Worst TV movie cat name has GOT to be “Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?”

    Also, nobody better dare to touch/remake/eff up my absolute favorite MFTVM: “The Stranger Within,” starring Barbara Eden, George Grizzard, David “Bosley” Doyle, and the always-wonderful Nehemiah Persoff.

  • 23 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 8:32 pm

    Prop, The Stranger Within IS untouchable! No one can compete with Eden!

    You should never name a cat with anything that starts with “Mother” and that includes “Mother Trucker: The Diana Kilmury story”

  • 24 Amanda By NightNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    I *almost* put The Girl Most Likely To on my list… my husband even asked about that one. It’s pretty good as it is. Stockard Channing is just amazing in it.

  • 25 cmcmcmcmNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 8:58 pm

    you guys are hilarious!

    there’s Child of Glass – if your cat is very fragile.

    or How Awful About Alan – if you don’t mind saying a whole sentence to call your cat. and you have a neighbor named Alan – so it’s like you and your cat have a secret and drive your neighbor crazy.

  • 26 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 9:06 pm

    What if your own name was Alan and then you named your cat “How Awful about Alan”?

    You would drive yourself insane and then the name would be true.

  • 27 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 24, 2011 at 9:15 pm

    Hey Look! They have HAAA in full for free on the youtubes! How unawful is that?

  • 28 Jami JoAnne RussellNo Gravatar // Aug 25, 2011 at 1:10 am

    UL – You can get up to season 5 of Dexter on NetFlix now. (Speaking of which, I should see if I can get the original Kochak on there. Every time I catch an episode it’s either the Jack The Ripper episode or the zombie one.) But read the books if you haven’t. I know some people have problems when Lindsey gives a supernatural reason for the existence of the Dark Passenger, but I kind of like it. And the latest one – *shudders* You know, I know there’s all sorts of sexual fetishes out there, but I don’t get how killing and eating people, or being killed and eaten, can possibly turn people on.

    I do enjoy the show, mind you, but in the books Astor and Cody are budding serial killers themselves and are basically the major reason Dexter married Rita, so he could teach them The Code Of Harry. I know some people would be upset watching that, but I think they should have kept that part in.

  • 29 aunt johnNo Gravatar // Aug 25, 2011 at 10:17 am

    Cat names I would go with:

    And of course…. Riding the Bus With My Sister!

  • 30 Jami JoAnne RussellNo Gravatar // Aug 25, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    Okay, turns out I already had Kolchak in my queue, though not the movies. However, what’s funny is in the middle of my search results, one of the movies was Toy Story 3.

  • 31 Jim AllcornNo Gravatar // Aug 27, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    Two of my favs from the era were the creepy chillers A TASTE OF EVIL & SWEET, SWEET RACHEL. Both of which were broadcast when I was 10 & gave me some sleepless nights.
    The very prolific character actor William Windom was in EVIL & as always, did a great job at portraying a very shady guy.With the playhouse sequence being particularly disturbing to me.
    As for SWEET, SWEET RACHEL, I don’t recall all that much about it as I only saw it during it’s original broadcast in 1971 & then again, a little over a decade later in ’82. But, scene in which the apparition of that spooky-ass woman appears in the road just aboutmade me wet my pants.
    BOTH times! LOL
    I’d love to get copies of both of these.

  • 32 Jim AllcornNo Gravatar // Aug 27, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    While on the subject of made for television terrors, one of the most neglected & forgotten thrillers of the day was the William Castle produced GHOST STORY. Which was re-titled CIRCLE OF FEAR for it’s second ( & unfortunately, final season ).
    The show’s pilot ” The New House” was aired as a special 90 minute movie of the week in ’71.
    And, was SO damned scary to my 10 year old self that I was certain that our house was haunted afterward & I probably didn’t sleep for two or three days after watching it.
    Of course, being the masochist that I am, once the series debuted a while later, I made sure that I never missed an episode. Even though they were frequently just about as frightening as that initial one was…

    What’s disappointing is that the only episode available on any format of home video is the pilot “The New House”. Which, I’d love to own, but it’s available only as an extra as a part of the big, EXPENSIVE William Castle box set released a year or two ago.
    Oh, what I’d give if the entire GS/COF series were put out on disc, but that seems rather unlikely to occur as even most longtime genre fans don’t remember the show…

  • 33 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 27, 2011 at 5:27 pm

    JA, I watched some of COF on Youtube before it disappeared and I loved it. What a great spooky show. there was one episode with Susan Dey called “Doorway to Death” that really stuck with me. I hope somebody makes it available to see again soon!

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