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February 28th, 2008 by unkle lancifer · 1 Comment


Christopher George is the coolest guy who ever lived!
Is CHRISTOPHER GEORGE the coolest guy who ever lived? There’s plenty of evidence to support that theory. He had his own action figure, thanks to his stint on RAT PATROL. He was best buds with crooner JOHNNIE RAY (who was not only name dropped in the DEXYS MIDNIGHT RUNNER classic COME ON EILEEN but also inspired MORRISSEY’S hearing-aid fetish). He posed in PLAYGIRL, his niece is VANNA WHITE, he’s worked along side folks as varied as JOHN WAYNE and LUCIO FULCI, and he was married to, and frequently costarred with the most beautiful woman in puppet land, LYNDA DAY GEORGE (Lucky BASTARD!). His grandest success may be his starring turn as Ranger Michael Kelly in GRIZZLY, the first film out of the gate in the animal run amuck gold rush that JAWS inspired. Bears, unlike sharks, who have unlovable ugly mugs, are kind of cute and cuddly. Even though if you met one in real life it probably would tear your face off, on screen they mostly inspire “Ahhhs” and have you wondering if you could fetch them a jar of honey. The bear in GRIZZY has this perception to work against throughout the film and the movie succeeds by alternating between adorable shots of the bear standing upright and less adorable shots of him bashing women’s heads between tree trunks and decapitating innocent horses. I mean this bear is not kidding around. When our bear comes across a small albino-looking boy playing with a white rabbit in his yard, the viewer is right to assume a close call or cut away scene is on the horizon. Well not this time campers, this once PG-rated mountain of menace does not shy away from the red stuff. There’s really only one man on earth that can take out a killing machine like the one described and that is our GEORGE. With a smirk, a wisecrack, a helicopter and a handy rocket launcher, he makes the woods safe again for children and bunnies everywhere. Directed by insane lunatic WILLIAM GIRDLER (DAY OF THE ANIMALS), GRIZZLY tastes like a s’mores and provides the same guilty pleasure as smearing a lightening bug into the asphalt to watch it’s inwards glow.indelible scenes
  • The bear’s attack on the female hikers, that crazy shack is no place to hide!
  • Not only does he kill a horse, he mauls its rider and buries him in the dirt!
  • R.I.P mother, child and bunny rabbit
  • Bear attacks the watch tower and pulverizes it and its contents
  • GEORGE‘s wonderfully delivered “Shit!!!”
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Tags: Repeat Offenders

1 response so far ↓

  • 1 OberstKurtNo Gravatar // Jul 15, 2008 at 12:24 am

    We almost went to see this at the local drive-in back then, because my parents thought it would be something like “Grizzly Adams”!  I knew what the movie was and I begged and wheedled at them not to go.  Finally my mother called the drive-in and they said it was like “Jaws” except with a bear…we didn’t go, thank God.

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