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The Dark Crystal: Director’s Cut

December 12th, 2013 by unkle lancifer · 4 Comments

Have you heard about the so- called DARK CRYSTAL “Director’s Cut”? A bunch of folks have already written about this wonderful thing and now I’m going to as well on account of it’s just too specifically kindertraumatic for me to resist. Once upon a time, it seems there was an earlier version of THE DARK CRYSTAL. It was shown to a preview audience to get their reaction and their reaction was mostly stuff like, “What was that?”, “Huh?”, “Come again? “ and, “I want my mommy!” The movie had to be altered in order to more likely receive wider acceptance and so rambling scenes were chiseled down and explanatory dialogue and clarifying voiceovers were added. Finally the movie was deemed ready for popular consumption and this new easier to digest version was released to the masses who reacted mostly with stuff like “What was that?”, “Huh?”, “Come again?” and “I still want my mommy!”

Yay, THE DARK CRSTAL (shaking Kermit arms above head)! It’s beautiful, obtuse, crazy-making, corny, gorgeous, mystical and as disturbing as a bad dream. It’s a truly singular visionary work that gets better with each passing day. It’s awesome and freaky and sometimes boring in any form but yeah, a few nips and tucks do make a big difference. Hey, movies, or any art for that matter, are incantations and of course you can’t alter a speck of the spell and expect the exact same results.

The big news is that some guy by the name of Christopher Orgeron had access to a ratty old copy of the original version and like a saint, decided to painstakingly craft it back together as best he could. Nicer still, he wants to share his accomplishment with us! What he did from the best of my ability to understand is, keep the original soundtrack in place, leave in everything that was later removed and spackle on top the better picture of the standard version wherever possible. So sometimes the picture and the sound can get wonky but it’s the closest you’re likely to get to JIM HENSON’s original, preview audience disapproved stab. It’s pretty cool.

The biggest difference is that those horrifying plucked rooster demons, the Skeksis, now speak their own language and we are not privy to their words. It works great because you can kind of guess what they’re going on about but the language barrier makes them all that much more alien and off-putting.

The other thing is, and this is just me, I’m totally fascinated by the (minimal) scenes that are of the shoddy quality that Orgeron would probably prefer to do without completely. Content wise they are inconsequential but wow, they come off like bizarre radio signals from another planet (or BEGOTTEN or some super early episode of DOCTOR WHO). They are so hauntingly strange, I half wanted to watch the whole movie in this vague, craptastic static-o-rama style. Which makes no sense because DARK CRYSTAL is so pretty and nice with the purple but whatever. Is this version any more kindertraumatic? Hmm. Yeah I think so, but it should be mentioned that the most disturbing parts of DARK CRYSTAL are front and center in both versions. Still, the estranging effect of holding the audiences’ hands to a lesser degree does make a difference. Fans of the film should check it out below or download it HERE. Thanks Christopher Orgeron! What a noble endeavor!

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4 responses so far ↓

  • 1 TaylorNo Gravatar // Dec 12, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    When I saw the headline here I assumed at first that this would be a fake creepypasta thing. “Did you hear about the director’s cut of The Dark Crystal? Kids in the preview screening were literally tearing their own eyes out, so they had to cut out all of the demons and the Gelfling blood-orgy.”

  • 2 Chuckles72No Gravatar // Dec 13, 2013 at 9:35 pm

    I watched this a couple nights ago when I woke up a three a.m. and could not get back to sleep. Man, the Skeksis in BnW “grain-o-vision” were really strange. This really is a bold, if flawed, film.

    Skeksis fun:

  • 3 GrokensteinNo Gravatar // Dec 14, 2013 at 6:09 am

    *sings* All of my exes look like Skeksis…

    Just like to note that Trevor Jones, who scored TDC, also scored “The Appointment,” mentioned in the previous Name That Trauma; you can pick up the occasional shared bit of music. (Damn I wish “The Appointment” were on DVD…)

  • 4 darkkoNo Gravatar // Dec 15, 2013 at 12:51 am

    Nice, I just downloaded it.

    My wife has been bugging me to watch it for a while.

    The Dark Crystal scared the crap outta me when I saw it as a kid. I swore to myself that I would NEVER watch it again.

    I took a glance at some of the fuzzy black and white scenes! Whoa, like a bad acid trip!!

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