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Sunday Streaming:: Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981)

October 27th, 2019 · 8 Comments

I’ve got many a complaint concerning the lack of progress in the world but I have to tip my hat and appreciate that DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW is so readily available to view these days (It’s free on TubiTV HERE). This is one of those flicks that made a profound impact on my youth but seemed to disappear as if it never existed for a while. Can you imagine my disappointment when I thought I had finally got my hands on it back in the eighties only to discover I had rented SCARECROWS (1988)? O.K., that makes me sound kinda dumb but there was no Internet back then and I had to rely on memory alone. (It was like the dark ages except with legwarmers and Rubik’s cubes). Point is, there’s no longer any excuse to not watch this darkly beautiful morality fable. It’s right at your fingertips and it’s so darn good. In fact, if I had kids, I’d tell them to chuck their Bibles out the window and just watch DNOTS because it teaches you everything you need to know about right and wrong and how to conduct yourself in the world. Plus it too concerns a bullied dude who dies on a cross only to miraculously return.

Bubba didn’t do it. Bubba (LARRY DRAKE) is a mentally challenged fella of 37 who looks like Dr. Giggles but is as kindly as Casper the Friendly Ghost. One day he’s hanging out with his best pal, a young girl named Marylee  (TONYA CROWE– gotta love that last name) who is savagely attacked by a dog. When he carries the girl’s unconscious body home, he is accused of mauling her himself. A bunch of ignorant locals lead by a creepy postman horrifically named Otis P. Hazelrigg (CHARLES DURNING) decide to take justice into their own hands. They find Bubba hiding in a scarecrow whimpering and then callously shoot him full of lead only to discover the little girl survived and is telling the truth about the dog attack and Bubba’s innocence. Much like today, the courts do zero to protect the victimized, which leaves Bubba’s grieving mother (JOCELYN BRANDO) to state, “You may think you’re getting off free, but there’s other justice in this world besides the law!” Turns out, the creepy mailman was just projecting his own grisly motivations upon Bubba because soon he is stalking poor Marylee at a Halloween party. But wait! Somebody is killing all those involved in the Bubba murder and that someone is looking a bunch like a scarecrow! Can said mystery entity save MaryLee in time?

Exquisitely directed by AUDREY ROSE and THE ENTITY author FRANK DE FELITTA (who I will worship forever for also gifting the world with the SHARON STONE thriller SCISSORS (1991)), DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW is worthwhile viewing any time of year but is particularly potent right about now. Check it out if you haven’t; everybody needs to know the Legend of Bubba! He didn’t do it!

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming

Sunday Streaming:: Hammer House of Horror Marathon

October 13th, 2019 · 2 Comments

Once upon a time, your very own Unk had a “Name That Trauma” of his own. I had fallen asleep watching an episode of SATURDAY NIGHT DEAD hosted by Philly legend STELLA and woke up to a horrifying scenario on my TV. I caught only the very last moments of the program and they included a man and woman screaming from within a window somehow trapped and going stark raving mad inside a house. Miraculously a reader knew exactly what I was talking about and informed me that it was an episode of HAMMER HOUSE OF HORROR entitled “The Silent Scream.” Here in the States it seems episodes of the show were often passed off as singular movies. Of course, I had to immediately order the entire series on DVD and boy was I pissed at the time when someone screwed up my order and sent it to me on VHS! Years have passed and I’m actually glad about that mistake so I guess there’s a lesson to be learned there somewhere.

Point of all of this is that today COMET TV is having a HAMMER HOUSE OF HORROR marathon and you can watch it free on cable, the airwaves (if your TV is set up with a converter) or just watch it live off of your dearest computer HERE. It starts at 10 am (which is why I posted this so early) and it goes on until 3:30 in the AM! The aforementioned episode “The Silent Scream” is scheduled for 5:30PM but if I were you, I’d catch as many episodes as you can. It’s sure to get you in the Halloween spirit.

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming

Sunday Streaming:: Creature (1985)

September 29th, 2019 · 2 Comments

Hey! My favorite hokey ALIEN rip-off CREATURE (earlier tribute HERE) is hanging out on TubiTV (apologies to all our faithful readers who don’t get TubiTV in their area) and can be seen for free HERE! It looks super spectacular all widescreen and digitally re-mastered and it’s even wearing its original title THE TITAN FIND. How am I supposed to leave the house today? The soundtrack is enticing me from my little computer speaker as we speak! Wow, Lyman Ward appeared in both CREATURE and NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE back in 1985 and still found time to show up on DALLAS and NIGHT COURT! And how I dig that Joe Dante fave Wendy (THE BURBS, SMALL SOLDIERS) Schaal is shown reading a novelization of director William Malone’s previous film SCARED TO DEATH (1980) and it claims to be a “#1 Bestseller”!  Aw, I love this flick forever.

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming

Sunday Streaming:: Celebrity Ghost Stories

September 22nd, 2019 · 1 Comment

Everybody knows by now that I love TubiTV but the news of the day is that TubiTV apparently loves me back because they are now offering three full seasons of the ever-elusive Celebrity Ghost Stories! It is also possible that I’ve been binge-watching said program all weekend and it has permanently altered my perception of reality and I’m good with that. I know the title is amusing and that some folks knee-jerk scoff at ghost stories but this show is legit awesome in my book.

I mean, ya’ll know I appreciate personal stories and recollections (that’s what kindertrauma is all about) and first-hand supernatural experiences can’t help but be enthralling to me. Maybe I’m too gullible but I believe about ninety-eight percent of the talking heads on this show. I’ve only given a skeptical side-eye to a story maybe twice so far. My M.O. is to dive-in facetiously as if I’m going to mock-view it and then I inevitably find myself genuinely engrossed and mystified and sometimes even moved and left with a more positive, hopeful stance regarding that whole “we’re all going to die” rumor that keeps gnawing at my troubled psyche.  Sometimes this show leaves me with the feeling that there could possibly be meaning and order in the universe after all and as unlikely as that may be, I’m all for it. Wait, can you believe Billy Baldwin played little league baseball with one of the Amityville DeFeo Kids?

Geez, I can’t believe the show is ten years old (!) and truth is, some of the stories (particularly those of Daryl Hannah and Fairuza Balk) have stuck with me all these years after I first viewed them. One of the great things about CGS is that it doesn’t require you to watch the interview and sketchy reenactments; you can do other stuff (wash dishes, paint your basement, play Plants vs Zombies) and just listen (like one of those podcasts the kids are talking about?). The absolutely CRAZY-making (lone) drawback of CGS is that it is formatted for some reason to “recap’ stories after commercial breaks (which no longer exist) and so it takes some patience and a sense of humor to endure its unnecessary repetitiveness. Oh boy, I have to get back to watching/listening. I’m only half-finished and Marilyn Manson and Shelly Long are awaiting me up ahead! Check out CGS HERE!

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Tags: Sunday Streaming

Sunday Streaming:: The Evil (1978)

September 1st, 2019 · 7 Comments

Who doesn’t love a haunted house flick? The problem is some reach for subtlety and grab uneventful and long-winded instead. THE EVIL seems to know that it doesn’t have the mastery required to go the suggestive route so it pulls out all the stops and puts on a real show. This is a haunted house movie where things go down and they go down in your face (utilizing old school effects, thankfully.) It flirts with silliness and plays with many a cliché but you can’t accuse it of not delivering. RICHARD CRENNA stars as a psychologist who along with his wife and a merry band of victims decide to restore an old house with a troubled past. The group are separated and dispensed of one by one with the clockwork of a slasher movie and a man-eating lawn makes attempts of escape appear hopelessly futile.

THE EVIL was filmed in a real castle in Montezuma, New Mexico and, per usual, the utilizing of an actual space with authentic history pays off. Frankly, the location alone is more than enough to recommend this movie. THE EVIL is more frivolous fun than under the skin unsettling, but it’s not completely brain dead either. Unlike many a haunted house flick, it comes off as generally interested in the supernatural. An eleventh hour, from left field, appearance of VICTOR BUONO as Satan himself may leave a campy taste in some mouths but I refuse to throw stones at something so unexpected and idiosyncratic (the questionable reveal was reportedly excised from some theatrical versions). If you dig non-stop seventies era atmosphere or just have a taste for old houses in general then this is a must see that, despite its hoary nature, still throws some truly original creative curves. Watch it on TubiTV HERE.

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Tags: Sunday Streaming

Sunday Streaming:: Darkroom

August 25th, 2019 · 6 Comments

Hey! It has come to my attention (Thanks to our old pal Amanda By Night of Made For TV Mayhem fame) that the excellent short-lived horror anthology series DARKROOM is available to watch for FREE (you don’t even have to sign up!)! DARKROOM is hosted by the great JAMES COBURN and it came out right at the height of the early eighties horror boom. A few episodes that were too intense for broadcasting were strung together to make the cult favorite theatrical flick NIGHTMARES (1983). Fuzzy home-recorded episodes of DARKROOM have been bouncing around the internet for years but this is your big chance to see the show all crisp and clear as it was meant to be seen. I have a funky feeling it may never graduate to physical media so this may be your one and only chance! Be sure to check it out HERE!

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming

Sunday Streaming:: Excision (2012) (Via Tubi TV)

August 20th, 2017 · No Comments

Oy veh, sometimes I’ll be having a perfectly nice day and then out of nowhere the movie EXCISION pops into my head and re-haunts me. Have you guys witnessed this beautiful yet horrendously ugly dive into tragic madness yet? It may ruin your life but it does have TRACI LORDS in it (and she’s phenomenal). Please read my bewildered full review way back HERE to save me from repeating myself. Sorry this post is so brief but I must prepare for the eclipse/apocalypse tomorrow. In closing, I both highly recommend you do and highly recommend you don’t watch EXCISION on TUBI TV right HERE while you have a chance. This one cuts deep.

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming

Sunday Streaming:: Extinction (2015) (Via Crackle)

August 13th, 2017 · 1 Comment

I gravitated toward EXTINCTION not because I’m a huge zombie fan but because I have a warm spot for snowbound horror. I caught the icy trailer on a random DVD and I couldn’t understand why I had never heard of it before and then fortuitously, a couple weeks later, it popped up at a yard sale because I’m the luckiest person in the world. Now EXTINCTION is on CRACKLE and I am strongly urging you to check it out. It’s one of my favorite finds of the last ten years and it’s the type of movie I’ll watch again and again. If I had to make a list of underrated horror films, I think I’d put it smack on the top. I want this movie to be my pet so I can pat it on the head and it can sit in front of my fireplace. Do you know how many zombie movies I don’t care about? I’d say about 97%. This one is particularly unique and it has interesting characters and the atmosphere is through the roof. You have to see the shot of an abandoned, snow-covered movie theater with a marque that reads “AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS.” It’s so darn beautiful…

The less you know the better so I’ll just throw a couple selling points at you and hope it will be enough. The bulk of this movie takes place about ten years after a zombie-type outbreak wipes out most of civilization. The tale follows two adult survivors (MATTHEW FOX, JEFFREY DONOVAN– both excellent), a little girl (QUINN McCOLGAN) and a faithful doggie. These folks are holed up in a couple of adjacent houses in the middle of nowhere covered in ice and hoping never to see a zombie again (in truth, the creatures are never called such and are referred to as simply “monsters”). The two men have had a falling out but they both feel responsible for the little girl and eventually they have to reconcile in order to persevere. Slowly we learn the details of the slight that divided them and it becomes a genuinely compelling character driven drama. Of course the monsters return, as they always do, and there are some real nail-biting action sequences as this likable group fights to survive. In some ways, it’s more faithful to the homebound isolated terrors of RICHARD MATHESON’s I AM LEGEND than previous official adaptions. Plus, I kinda just want to live in this movie were modern culture is dead, everything is covered in snow and I’m in a boarded up house filled with books eating beans out of a can.

Watch EXTINCTION right HERE for free thanks to the folks at CRACKLE.

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming

Sunday Streaming:: Tobe Hooper’s Eaten Alive (1977) (Via Viewster)

August 6th, 2017 · No Comments

TOBE HOOPER’s EATEN ALIVE knows how to creep me out. The opening music alone is a swirling miasma of otherworldly chirps and moans that can turn any hour of the day into half past midnight. I know some folks have a hard time digesting its fluorescent fever dream atmosphere after THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE’s gritty and grounded approach but I love the contrast. It’s like the difference between ROB ZOMBIE’s neon hallucination HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES and his earthy neo-western THE DEVIL’S REJECTS but in reverse. What I love most about EATEN ALIVE though is HOOPER’s mad genius decision to film the movie entirely on a soundstage complete with an indoor pool masquerading as a swamp. The end result is that everything that occurs has a surreal and artificial aura about it. I’m guessing the prevalent tone of vague falseness is enough to turn some viewers off but I love it. It feels like old Hollywood mixed with that terrible (or relieving) moment in a nightmare when you realize you’re not in reality. It’s eerie, strange and bonkers and I wrote a longer review probably using many of the same adjectives HERE. More importantly, EATEN ALIVE is available to watch for free over at this joint that calls itself VIEWSTER right over HERE. If you’re in the mood to inject some raving mad lunacy into your day, it’ll certainly do the trick.

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Tags: Sunday Streaming

Sunday Streaming: Madman (1982) (Via Tubi TV)

July 30th, 2017 · 5 Comments

I should probably be forcing myself to check out one of the many recent horror movies I haven’t caught up with yet but instead I’m going to watch MADMAN for the millionth time. It’s the perfect time of year for a summer slasher movie especially when that summer slasher movie completely ignores the existence of the sun by taking place exclusively at night and features characters dressed as if it were the dead of winter (when they’re not in a hot tub). What says summer more than howling winds, rustling dead leaves, corduroy and flannel? I’m thinking the world of MADMAN is a perfect world- because it’s a world where summer doesn’t exist. Putting aside its strange, BOOGENS-esque climate, MADMAN never fails to satisfy all of my horror needs. Once upon a time I used to wish for a sequel but now I know it’s better off with its mythology unmarred and its low budget purity intact. This movie has everything you could want in a horror movie; a truly formidable maniac, victims who make questionable survival choices, multiple grisly deaths and a jarring synth score complimented by a legendary theme song that should have been a number one pop hit across the country. And I have to say, the cat-and-mouse stalking scenes are still pretty darn effective. Sure, it has flaws but they are enjoyable flaws. Anyway, MADMAN is available to watch on Tubi TV for free anytime you like. If you haven’t seen it before, be more adventurous than myself and check it out HERE.

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Tags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming