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Dracula Calls Five Year Old a Bitch!

October 11th, 2007 by unkle lancifer · 1 Comment

Count Dracula, who is not exactly well known for his positive contributions to society hit a new low when he used misogynist hate speak in addressing Monster Squad member Phoebe Crenshaw — who is just the tender age of five. Though evil, undead, and a creature of the night, the Count was widely viewed as the most cultured and refined of the classic monsters; his recent actions could tarnish this perception permanently. If the sequences of events in the film MONSTER SQUAD are to be believed (and I have no reason to doubt them) Ms. Crenshaw, with aid of a magic amulet, was in the process of delivering an incantation in German that would summon a whirlpool leading to a “limbo” dimension that was meant to trap the Transylvanian forever. So enraged was the Count at the idea of being foiled that he grabbed the diminutive Crenshaw by the chin, lifted her off the ground, and bellowed in her face “Give me the amulet you B-I-T-C-H!” Onlookers both human and monster alike were taken aback by the outburst. A fish creature who asked not to be named had only this to say, “Not cool.”

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Tags: Tykes in Trouble




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