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Sunday Streaming :: Gargoyles (1972)

January 10th, 2016 by unkle lancifer · 3 Comments

Hey kids, I gotta plan that’s sure to cheer you up today. Let’s say we sneak on over to that SHOUT FACTORY TV joint and watch us some GARGOYLES (HERE)! It’s only one of the best TV movies ever to grace the small screen and, where I come from, it has a long history of hitting the spot on a Sunday afternoon. Heck, I could even write a traumafession on this slick flick as it always gave me an acute case of the heebie jeebies! It’s not the titular monsters so much (although they are impressively unnerving) as it is the general uncanny atmosphere. I don’t know why but the opening narration relaying the history of Satan, the multiple aerial gargoyle-eye views of pesky humans crawling about on Earth and the sinister simplicity of the perfectly captured pre-CGI, ominous slate gray skies all add up to me wanting my blanky. Plus JENNIFER SALT is in it! Unless you’ve just finished watching BRAIAN DE PALMA‘s SISTERS (1973) or a SOAP marathon (like me) there’s surely not enough SALT in your diet!

→ 3 CommentsTags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming

Kinder-Kraft:: Movie Tie-In Storage Containers!

January 8th, 2016 by unkle lancifer · 2 Comments

Folks, my disloyal computer is still acting a fool so I’m going to keep this short so as to not incite my chucking it out the window. Lend me your ears! I’ve got an idea that’s going to change the way you live! Surely you have a couple of those clear plastic VHS (Amaray?) boxes lying about your pad? If not, you can still order them from AMAZON. Do as I did and take some of your beloved movie Tie-In paperback books and shove them inside! Look how handsome that is! What a wonderful conversation starter! Your friends will marvel and then go home and secretly cry jealous tears in quiet seclusion! Stand warned though stalwart chums, this method will not work with CHELSEA QUINN YARBO’s marvelous adaption of GARY SHERMAN’S tragically underrated masterpiece DEAD AND BURIED (1981)…it’s too darn fat!

→ 2 CommentsTags: Book Reports · Kinder-Advice-Korner

Name That Trauma:: Darkko on Bumpy Maggot Bites

January 6th, 2016 by unkle lancifer · 1 Comment

Hello everyone at KT,

I’ve been searching on and off for years, looking for a film that traumatized me as a child.

I remember a kid, maybe around 8-12 years old. He either gets lost or escapes into a forest. Exhausted, the kid falls asleep. He wakes up, covered in bumpy bites. Upon inspecting them, maggots start to come out of the sores!

This was extra disturbing to me, as my dad would spend much of his free time tanning outside. I would witness flies landing on him, and I thought for sure what happened in this film would happen to him!

I was probably around 12 when I saw it, so late 80s or early 90s is when I most likely watched it. I thought it might be The Emerald Forest 1985, but I just watched it and it was a no go.

Thanks for any help, and long live KINDERTRUAMA!

~ Darkko

→ 1 CommentTags: Name That Trauma!

Name That Trauma:: K. Eds on a Tormented Teen Tied to an Operating Table

December 31st, 2015 by unkle lancifer · 5 Comments

Hey, KT

I’ve been trying to remember what this one was for ages, and it terrified me when I was young. From what I can remember, this may not have been a movie, but more likely an episode of some series.

The scene I remember has a black teenager tied down to an operating table and he is surrounded by a horde of tormentors, one of which has very subtle clown makeup and is about to cut open his chest with a scalpel. I think he had a fear of surgery or something, and so it was likely something to do with nightmares coming to life. I think the kid may have had a yellow and black jumpsuit on, but that’s not so clear.

Perhaps your readers can help!

→ 5 CommentsTags: Name That Trauma!

Merry Christmas 2015!

December 25th, 2015 by unkle lancifer · 1 Comment

→ 1 CommentTags: Holidays

Streaming Alert:: Home For The Holidays (1972)

December 24th, 2015 by unkle lancifer · 1 Comment

Hey folks, I have a lot of egg nog in my system and that means I don’t have time to play with you. DON’T EVEN call yourself a horror fan if you’ve never seen HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS…serious…DON’T EVEN. I don’t care if it tastes like medicine….you eat it anyway!!! What I do for you kids! My computer is so ancient that every sentence I write is preceded by a spinning rainbow ball! It keeps spinning and spinning! It’s making me dizzy! The simplest post is like knitting a sweater! Not that you care with your instagrams! Did I spell that right? You know what? Why don’t you put your criticisms where the monkey puts the nuts? One day your Unkle will be dead and gone like a VHS tape and you’ll be all teary-eyed and missing me never realizing that YOU ARE THE MURDERER! Glug-glug..hiccup and furthermore glug-glug Smurfs in the ceiling!!!! Ah, look at the pretty pretty lights!!!!! Happy Merry Christmas Eve. I love you!!!!

→ 1 CommentTags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert!

Streaming Alert:: Monster Christmas Mash

December 23rd, 2015 by unkle lancifer · No Comments

Let me share with you one of my most favorite Christmas records of all time, THE MONSTER CHRISTMAS MASH! I first bumped into this groovy gold mine of holiday lunacy in a thrift store in the late eighties and it has slowly ear-wormed its way into becoming an essential part of my yearly festivities. I’m happy and relieved to see that the old devil has made its way to YouTube. I wish I could just plant the entire record on this spot but sadly it’s chopped into way too many multiple parts. Don’t worry though, we can all just take a field trip and jump to this playlist joint RIGHT HERE and listen to the whole album in order! Yay! I hope you have some (strong) egg nog ready…and plenty.

Here is a mere sample of what awaits you:

→ No CommentsTags: Streaming Alert!

Kindertrauma Christmas Catalog 2015

December 18th, 2015 by unkle lancifer · 7 Comments

→ 7 CommentsTags: Holidays · Seasons Beatings

Mickster’s Holiday Funhouse:: The Cads, Creeps, Cretins, and Cruds of Christmas Movies Edition

December 18th, 2015 by unkle lancifer · 15 Comments

Christmas is right around the corner and that means it’s about time for a holiday themed FUNHOUSE created and hosted by our old pal Mickster! In fact, this year marks the eighth anniversary of her very first KT contribution! Gee, It seems like only YESTERDAY. Anyhoozle, you best put on your thinking caps cuz Mickster’s got some tough cookies today. Good Luck!

→ 15 CommentsTags: Kinder Loves Mickster! · Kindertrauma Funhouse

Name That Trauma:: Goorlap on Demolished Homes and Bombed Buildings

December 17th, 2015 by unkle lancifer · 1 Comment

Hello there once again Kindertrauma,

I am looking for 2 movies of which I forgot the name.

Movie 1: Don’t know much about this movie except the ending: a crane with a wrecking ball is demolishing houses while people are still inside. The crane is being operated by what I believe a girl with telekinetic powers. I think it’s a movie from the 80s or 90s.

Movie 2: A movie about a psychopath that puts bombs in buildings. A cop who is a skilled bomb dismantler goes after the bad guy and disables more than 1 bomb in the movie. In the beginning he is dismantling a bomb in a small claustrophobic space, sort of a tunnel in the building. I believe that this bomb is being protected by laser-beams. The ending of the movie sees our good guy dismantling a huge bomb on the highest floor of a skyscraper. The bomb is as big as the top of the skyscraper. The bomb gets dismantled and it’s a happy ending. I think it’s a movie from the 90s or begin 2000s. Or maybe from the 80s.

Someone know what the names of these movies are? I watched both movies on television (I’m from Belgium btw). I’m pretty sure that they are both American movies.

Friendly greetings,

Goorlap

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