kindertrauma

Year: 2009

Traumafessions :: Reader Harmonyfb on Giant Spiders, Sir Cecil Creep & Night Gallery

Posted on By aunt john

Ah, memories. Let me start by saying that I love scary movies, and always have, which makes my own kindertraumas even more amusing.

One of my earliest traumatic memories was watching a black and white movie about giant invading spiders (I think it was 'Invasion of the Giant Spiders', but I've never been able to verify). In one scene, there's a toddler in a playpen in the front yard of a house while the spiders invade. People are running and shrieking, the town's on fire, the toddler is *screaming*, and NOBODY IS COMING to save it. I think I was about 4 years old, and that scared the beejezus out of me.

AUNT JOHN SEZ: I believe the movie you are thinking of is the 1958 chestnut EARTH VS. THE SPIDER, or THE SPIDER as it is also known. THE SPIDER trailer is kind of dull, so let's take a gander at the greatness of the trailer for 1975's THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION:

Sorry for the interruption, please continue Harmonyfb:

At six, I used to hide behind the couch any time ads for "Sir Cecil Creep" (our local scary movie host) came on TV.

When I was 8 or 9, I developed a love of TWILIGHT ZONE repeats and NIGHT GALLERY first-runs. One NIGHT GALLERY episode scared me so badly that I still occasionally have nightmares about it. It was about a painter who winds up with his face permanently morphed into the 'op art' painting he's been working on. Notice I have no idea what the actual plot was – it was the image that was burned into my tender psyche. Someday I'm going to have to find a copy of this episode.

AUNT JOHN SEZ: I just combed through the exhaustive NIGHT GALLERY guide, and didn't see anything about an op-ed artist with a Cubist face. Could have it been a TWILIGHT ZONE episode?

Traumafessions :: Reader FatherOfTears on Star Trek eps. "The Empath" & "The Lights of Zetar"

Posted on By aunt john

O.K., growing up as a kid in the early ‘70s the local T.V. stations in Jersey showed reruns of the original STAR TREK. Like many other elementary-school-aged kids at that time, I became hooked. I even got that cool toy bridge set with the action figures-including Uhura, but in time I broke the spinning transporter that made the figure placed inside "vanish." So I wound up getting rid of the whole set and then, decades later, I was told that it was worth a lot of money. That's an adult trauma! However, seeing this show did give some childhood scares. There was that "Empath" episode where Kirk, Bones & Spock were taken by aliens and left in a room with a mute female who was an empath. She could absorb the injuries of those she touched healing the victim while temporally getting the ailment till she healed herself. When Bones is tortured and brought back, she absorbs his injuries and winds up getting his facial wounds. She gets a pained expression on her face which was a bit hard to look at:

Then there was "The Lights of Zetar" where Scotty's new love interest Mira, becomes possessed by the life forms of an alien race that look like flashing lights. The flashing lights were not the scare, it was when they entered a person. The crew found what was left of a planetary settlement and a near death woman who had the Zetars in her. Her possession was shown by having her face "solarized" and when the aliens first try to speak through the person, it's all slow and garbled.

The same would happen to Mira plus when she was taken over she was slumped against a wall. She had her head bent at a funny angle while the Zetars spoke through her.

Pretty scary for an under ten year old! Get this: Kirk decided to put the possessed Mira in a pressurized "hyperbolic chamber" to kill the Zetars. Decades later Michael Jackson and the 1993-94 Vancouver Canucks would make headlines with such a device! Oh, the authors for this episode: JEREMY TARCHER and his wife SHARI LEWIS.

Yep, THAT SHARI LEWIS!!

Nightbreed

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I'll be honest with you, the first time I saw CLIVE BARKER'S NIGHTBREED I didn't really get it. I loved the beginning and most of the middle, but by the end the movie had lost me. I was simply unconvinced; sections seemed implausible or downright ridiculous. The whole thing was just too fantastic and weird for me. Some of the monsters were "cool" but a couple I thought were pretty damn lame.

The truth is, it was I who was lame. I just wasn't ready to let go of my slasher expectations and go with the flow. CLIVE had created something so unusual and original that I automatically withdrew because it wasn't what I expected. The sad thing is that the movie is pretty much about idiots like the one I used to be, who, rather than take a second to try to understand something, reject it outright just because is different.

The good news is that I eventually grew the hell up and my mind expanded. Eventually I became worthy of appreciating NIGHTBREED for the flawed but brilliant film it is. It was all there all the time (well, at least the parts that were not jettisoned by an apathetic FOX studios). All I had to do was settle the hell down and listen, rather than try to direct the film psychically from my theater chair.

Based on his novella CABAL, and adapted by BARKER himself, NIGHTBREED tells the tale of Aaron Boone (CRAIG SHEFFER), a tortured soul who has been having dreams of a subterranean hive of variant monsters and phantasmic ghoulies . Having been convinced by his cold as an ice pick psychiatrist that he is responsible for the death of innocents, Boone, rather than fearing the monster world, yearns to find solace amongst societal rejects.

Boone's psychiatrist is played by, none other than, director DAVID CRONENBERG, and perhaps it is he who I should place the blame on for dampening the rest of the picture for me. Speaking in monotones that make the computer from 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY seem emotionally hysterical and often slipping into an awesome button-eyed, zipper-mouthed bag mask, my fascination with this character was so fervent that anytime he was off screen I was basically twiddling my mental thumbs awaiting his return. Furthermore, his character's name, Dr. Philip K. Decker, was a nod to the brain behind BLADE RUNNER so I was pretty much on cloud nine or should I say cloud nerd. Honestly, none of the other characters stood a chance with me.

Well there is a lot more going on in NIGHTBREED that I might have noticed if I did not have hearts in my eyes for the psychopathic main villain (who, by the way, is a total dickhead and whose mask of normalcy and blatant hypocrisy is the true evil presence in the movie). Many see NIGHTBREED as openly gay BARKER's coming out story and he backs that idea as well (We're here, we have extendable centipede arms, get used to it!). BARKER allows us access to a world of bizarre characters that, as it turns out, are not quite as monstrous as the accepted "normal" people who are bent on destroying them. In the end our pal Boone is required to embrace his differences in order to gain power from them (in other words, let his freak flag fly). Really this tale works for anybody gay or straight who at one time or another has felt different, like an outsider or somehow not complete (I'm looking at you entire world -don't try to front!) Certainly all that is enough for a little monster movie but wait there's more…

NIGHTBREED is a great love story (Clive's CABAL even more so). Lori (ANNE BOBBY), Boone's faithful girlfriend, in my opinion, is the real catalyst for all the action that takes place here. Her image might not be painted on the prophecy walls in the underground Oz, but it's her and Boone's mutual acceptance and regard for each other that is really steering this ship. Lori's love is unconditional and she can give a crap about the weirdoes her man has been hanging out with lately, and Boone risks rejection by his new crew when he can't stand by and watch her die at the hands of his hyper clinical, sick-o shrink. Aww shucks, I'm getting ferklemp again! Anyways, I was hoping these two knuckle head love birds would make it work. To quote my pal Nini, "Love conquers Biology!"

NIGHTBREED, thanks to studio interference (over 20 minutes of BARKER's director's cut was chopped out), a half-assed ad campaign (which reused an image from the poster from BAD DREAMS), and dumb-dumb audience members like myself, was a bit of a flop. It's too bad because even though it is in no way perfect, it's still a great tale. So I guess this review is really more of a public apology…

NIGHTBREED I'm sorry I threw you out, I'm sorry I sided with that dickhead Decker and if it's not too late, I'm ready to embrace your wonderful, absolutely unique monstrousness!

Name That Trauma :: Reader Matthew M. on a Homocidal Doll

Posted on By aunt john

I wanted to let you know that I really enjoy your site! It brings back memories to many classic films that I had completely forgotten about. I have a "Name That Trauma!" inquiry that I was hoping you all could help me with. Here goes: It is definitely a short, not a full length film. It Involves a woman in her apartment alone and a doll (I think maybe it was a ventriloquist dummy, but may be wrong) coming to life and attacking her. I also think the film contained no dialogue, but again i could be wrong. Very creepy stuff. Hope you can help and keep up the great work!

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Upon receiving this one, my mind instantly went to the KAREN BLACK classic TRILOGY OF TERROR. There is not too much dialogue, as it is just BLACK versus the killer doll; it is a vignette, so it is pretty short, and most people usually just remember this part of the movie. I asked Matthew if this was the case, and he responded:

All of this sound good except that the imagery that really stuck with me was the doll… sort of how calm and polite he looked. Not tribal or scary at all. Any chance we could run this by your readers?

There you have it kids… we are looking for a non-Zuni, well-composed killer doll. The calm nature also rules out CHUCKY from CHILD'S PLAY, and the old school BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL. If anyone knows the answer, be a doll and sound off in the comments or send us an email.

UPDATE: Name That Trauma! SOLVED. Let's all raise our juice boxes to reader incognitovixen for cracking the case!

Splinter

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I don't know what has been going on lately but as the Pointer Sisters once sang, "I think I like it." I spent the last year feeling nostalgic for the horror movies of my youth and feeling mostly ambivalent about the exhaustive blue-toned assembly line that represents modern horror. Was I turning into an old coot? Was I too jaded to enjoy anything anymore? In fact when it came down to writing up a year-end round up of the best horror, Aunt John and I were left grasping at straws that neither of us could muster much enthusiasm for (with the lone exception of LET THE RIGHT ONE IN). Then suddenly, in the last couple of weeks, it seems like every horror flick I have seen has knocked at least one of my argyle socks off (with the lone exception of THE UNBORN). The latest movie to get me all hot and bothered is SPLINTER, a compact little throwback to the squishy monster movies that excited me as a kid. It's like somebody made a microwavable Hot Pocket version of THE THING. How tasty does that sound?

This movie's similarities with CARPENTER's classic do not end with its mutable eye popping creature. The set up, which involves a botched carjacking and an eventual standoff in a gas station convenience store, allows for a group of strangers to converge and eventually unite in order to save their own skins. The hurried showdown in a seemingly innocuous space recalls much of CARPENTER's other output as well, from ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 to PRINCE OF DARKNESS. The characters: an untrustworthy, gruff criminal, his zonked out, addle minded squeeze and their two unlucky hostages: a brainy husband and his kick ass "firecracker" wife crash and bounce off of each other to crackling effect. As cardboard broad as this motley crew may seem on the surface, when the infectious shit hits the fan most of them (the ones that live) get to show different layers and strengths you were not expecting. Here is something else, and it seems to be what's separating the wheat from the chaff as far as modern horror goes, I really liked and/or was interested in the characters in this movie. Crazy right? Never once was I prompted to ooh and ahh at a snarky debutante's home decor or left wondering if I should join a gym and update my jeans. That's kind of special to me.

The monster, although a sister to everything from THE BLOB to the gruesome greenery in THE RUINS, is still a highly original brain storm come to life that is, at some points, just plain stop you in your tracks awesome. Even the less convincing effects are at least visually stimulating. I know that SPLINTER was recently shown on the SciFi Channel, but I'm sure it was not in uncut form and this movie is definitely one that deserves to be seen in its entirety. For a small independent production, SPLINTER is far more fun and entertaining than anyone has the right to expect. It's rather perfect in the way that it never over extends itself or looses focus on the situational horror at hand. By looking backward and cherry picking tried and true elements from classic horror films, SPLINTER might not earn the title of groundbreaking, but at least it has the courtesy to not waste any of your time. Of course there was many a scene where I just wanted to grab the camera myself and hold it steady so I could get a decent uncluttered view of the beasty, but ultimately I think any movie that leaves you wanting more rather than glancing at your watch for an excuse to escape should be commended. SPLINTER did have a limited theatrical release, but for all intents and purposes this is a direct to DVD affair which is more than fine by me. This movie and my beer stained couch were absolutely made for each other!