Author Archives: aunt john

Name That Trauma CONFIRMATIONS :: Reader Simminy on “Another Man’s Family”

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Hi:

I can confirm that Tom P. from 3/12 and JLP from 2/10 are both haunted by the same vintage fire safety film as I am, which I learned today is called “Another Man’s Family.” Thanks to Kindertrauma, after 40 years I now know that I didn’t imagine it.

It’s available on YouTube, although the quality is extremely poor… but you can still watch the whole family drop dead one by one in their blazing home and then see the fire department rake the ashes of the kid’s toys in the morning.

Oh yes, perfectly suitable to show to a classroom of 10-year-olds in 1972.

Gahhhhh……!

Cool site!

— Simminy



AUNT JOHN SEZ: Thanks Simminy for finally putting the fire out on this lingering Name That Trauma. The video is available in three parts on YouTube (PART 1, PART 2, & PART 3), but as Simminy cautions, the quality is quite poor. I recommend muting the sound and playing “Burning Down the House.”

Also, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that the Amazing Senski suspected “Another Man’s Family” in the comments on JLP’s initial Name That Trauma, but the video was not available on YouTube at the time of his posting. Thanks Senski!

Name That Trauma :: Reader Sonny W. on Supernatural Spanish Siblings

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Hey Guys,

Have had this one rolling around my head for a while and thought I might be able to find it but no luck so far so am turning it over to the experts.

This may be a combo of memories that I’ve created one movie with but I think I have the majority of details right. I saw this one night as I was half asleep and wanted to track it down to watch the whole thing.

The following may or may not be true:

  • Recent-”ish” movie from say within the last 10 or 15 years
  • I think it may have been Spanish or Mexican in origin. If not the male and female lead were both Hispanic
  • Involves a family who come under attack by paranormal sources
  • There is a daughter who is maybe 15 or 16 and the son is 11 or 12. I think the son may be seeing things or have some other contact with the paranormal and the Dad either doesn’t believe him or doesn’t want to believe him. The sister either believes him or sees these things as well
  • At the end I think there is some sort of confrontation involving the kids and Mom against the Dad

Again, these memories are all very vague and half of them might have been dreams I had while falling asleep/waking up while this was on. Sorry it’s not much to go on but hopefully I’ve got a few things right to identify it with.

Thanks for any help and thanks again for the great website, for someone like myself who grew up in the ’70s/’80s, it is truly a treasure chest of horror nostalgia.

— Sonny W.

Traumafessions :: Reader Jennifer L. on Dinosuars

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Dinosaurs.

You know why?

Frakking LAND OF THE LOST, that’s why.

I was still having nightmares in college about that evil sumbitch T-Rex in the opening credits when JURASSIC PARK came out and gave the nightmares new heretofore-unimagined dimensions.

I was in college at that time.

It persists to this day. I am a 40-year-old attorney and widely regarded as a deeply terrifying person in general. Still have nightmares about dinosaurs, and Fembots, and the flying monkeys.

— Jennifer L.

Traumafessions :: Reader Violet R. on The Last Unicorn

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As a person that reads, I read everything you guys post. So I figured it was time to join the other readers in celebrating Kindertrauma by submitting a Traumafession. Here goes….

When I was young I was obsessed with unicorns. In fact, I “convinced” my friends that the scar on my forehead was merely the result of a horn removal surgery. So you’d be right to assume that THE LAST UNICORN was a must-watch and re-watch for me. But no matter how familiar I made myself with this cinematic masterpiece, it never failed to scare the living sh*t out of me.

First, there was Mommy Fortuna (read by ANGELA LANSBURY…FOR REAL) with the tree-stump for a head and her menagerie of abused and ill-willed animals. The Harpy was particularly menacing, what with its flesh-eating ways and all.

Next, there was the belligerent Skull with his red-glowing eyes (the more drunk he got the brighter his eyes would glow! WTF???), his riddles, and his costume jewelry. Nothing is scarier than a mean-spirited alcoholic skeleton dangling from the rafters….except for maybe….

The anthropomorphized, hyper-sexual, psychedelic tree that goes after Schmendrick the Magician like a total perv! And this, my friends, is only the tip of the creepy-probably inappropriate for children-iceberg.

But these days it’s the universal themes of this movie that freak me out, as opposed to the characters themselves. Themes like life, death, genocide, jealousy, abuse, failure, materialism, opportunism, and all the typical sh*tty things that humans tend to do. Compared to the overall message of the movie the Skull seems like your average creepy, yet harmless, drunk cousin at Christmas dinner and the tree is now a mere cougar who has failed at Weight Watchers. But that Harpy is still freaky as hell. “Set me free! We are sisters you and I!”

— Violet R.

It’s a Horror to Know You :: Aunt John of Kindertrauma!

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AUNT JOHN SEZ: Well hello there! Now I know what you are thinking, “Long time, no write Aunt John” and you are correct to feel this way. Rather than bore you again with the gory details of my super crap-tatsic retinal detachment and the two awful surgeries that accompanied it (I know, get out the little violins), I am just going to say that today is my birthday and it’s one of those milestone ones that warrants its own section of Mylar balloons at the party store. That’s right, I am 40 and I am taking full ownership of it unlike that big old liar-pants KATE BECKINSALE who seems to be reverse ageing on July 26th. She started out two years older than me and is now a year younger than me. Happy 39th KATE! Also co-celebrating my birthday today are such luminaries as enchanting Olympian DOROTHY HAMMILL, adult film star HELEN MIRREN, and some guy named STANLEY KUBRICK, whoever that is. Before we get to my answers, I just want to let everyone know that I have recently rediscovered the joys of Twitter (@auntie_john) and can be found there most days trying to engage the elusive unicorn that is Faye Dunaway. Oh, and I also have a Tumblr devoted mainly to pictures of my cats and stuff.

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?


In terms of film, if my memory serves me correctly, I believe it was the scene from the 1977 made-for-television classic SNOWBEAST where the titular monster popped up in the window at the 50th Annual Winter Carnival. I have never in my life been to a ski resort or a Winter Carnival for that matter due, in large part, to this movie. (Spike a mug of cocoa and watch the whole thing HERE).

2. What is the last film that scared you?


Not to sound all jaded, but nothing really “scares” me movie-wise per say. I did however, have a visceral reaction to TURISTAS (2006) and had to leave the room out of sheer disgust. I’m the kind of guy who really enjoys tropical locations and the delicious tropical libations associated with them. The last thing I need is some really bad movie to insert the theme of organ harvesting into this equation. Thanks, but I’ll stick with lime in my coconut.

3. Name three horror movies that you believe are underrated:

1. THE FURY: Whenever I find myself sucked into conversations about classic DePALMA, everyone wants to discuss CARRIE or DRESSED TO KILL or BLOWOUT. Sure, this film might be lacking in the NANCY ALLEN department but it has an atomic bomb up its sleeve named AMY IRVING. Whatever happened to her?


2. THE STUFF: Don’t let the goofy premise fool you, LARRY COHEN serves up a big helping of biting social commentary in the form a tasty frozen treat!


3. ROMEO IS BLEEDING: Granted, it’s more of a sexy thriller/misguided noir mess than a horror movie but when it comes to riding in cars with cold-blooded psychopaths, nobody can match the backseat driving prowess of LENA OLIN. Nobody!


4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

1. LIQUID SKY (1982): Despite ANNE CARLISLE‘s star-making turn as androgynous, twin fashion models and a soundtrack that could drive Kronos Quartet to drink, ALICE SWEET ALICE star PAULA E. SHEPPARD shows up and steals every last scene she is in. Seriously, whatever happened to her?


2. PANDEMONIUM (1982): A basic cable staple of the early-to-mid ’80s, I adore everything about this slasher comedy.


3. THE FAN (1981): “I need hearts, not diamonds!”

5. Send us to five places on the Internet! (Include the URLs!)

1. WishBook Web: Growing up, the Sears Catalog was seasonal porn that had me and my siblings drooling and counting down the days to December 25th.

2.Landers Sisters Galleries: Can there ever be enough Audrey and Judy?

3. Requiem for a Dream (Official Site): Every once in a while, someone on the Internet uncovers forgotten movie web sites (I am looking at you YOU’VE GOT MAIL) and everyone gets excited and then forgets about it until the same dust is blown off the same old websites some years later. Can we all take a few moments to B-E E-X-C-I-T-E-D for this now 12-year-old relic?

4. Plan 59: All of those vintage images of creepy kids in creepy ads that you’ve probably seen all over the web originated here. Pack a lunch!

5. Untied/Undone: An exhaustive collection of Siouxsie & the Banshees concerts and rarities available for download.

BONUS SITES:
6. Scandals of Classic Hollywood @ The Hairpin: I would love nothing more than to go out for birthday drinks and gossip with Anne Helen Petersen.

7. How Was Your Week With Julie Klausner: What can I say? I am not really a podcast person, but I do have a thing for gingers, especially the funny ones.

BONUS VIDEO:

Traumafessions :: Reader Alex on Goosbumps “Stay Out of the Basement” (Book)

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Hey, Kindertrauma! This is my first Traumafession and it’s a little spontaneous. I just caught a glimpse of the cover to STAY OUT OF THE BASEMENT and it took me back, way back. I don’t know if I even read this book, because the story I’d made up about its contents has only a few points in common with the actual storyline, or maybe seen the TV adaptation — the neighbor girl from across the street used to lock me in her basement with the lights off and the TV playing the television series, which beats getting abandoned at the park by older siblings for sheer sadism toward skittish younger children. I couldn’t even reverse-Image Search the book’s cover to double-check the title without covering my eyes with one hand. I was afraid of a lot of things as a kid (asphyxiation, JOEL GREY as the Emcee in CABARET, and everybody’s favorite Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark) but none of them seemed as present and real as the fear reserved for the Goosebumps stories.

The cover image for STAY OUT OF THE BASEMENT is pretty distinctive, not as iconic as Slappy the Dummy but still viscerally memorable — a slimy, wizened green hand, gripping the edge of an ordinary-looking white door. In my memory until just now, it wasn’t just slimy but dripping green blood. Six-year-old me didn’t get that it was supposed to be some kind of human-plant hybrid, I mistook the gnarly buds and branches for some kind of horrible sores.

The actual plot of STAY OUT OF THE BASEMENT does involve dripping green blood at one point but the actual specifics are completely different than what I’d pictured. The dad in the story is some kind of botanist, experimenting on plants down there after getting laid off at work, but my own dad had a woodworking shop in our own basement and so I assumed that’s what Dr. Brewer was up to. To me the dripping green blood wasn’t because he was some kind of human/plant hybrid but because of some kind of horror movie plague — dad cuts his hand on a saw or a rusty nail, starts acting weird and pretty soon he’s a pustule-covered monster who bleeds green and admonishes you to, “Stay out of the basement!” so you don’t get snagged on a rusty nail too.

I’d been told about tetanus, the specter of infection or lockjaw was very real to six-year-old hypochondriac me. The thought that something like that could happen to my dad was much scarier than the thought that the resulting monster might try to infect me too or go on a rampage whereupon I’d be forced to discern my real father from the human/plant clone.

Hell, I’m still terrified of tetanus and lockjaw. Now I can be afraid of MRSA, too. And the really terrible thing is, I still can’t go near our basement door without fearing that oozing green hand. And my dad’s still hard at work in his shop down there.

— Alex

Name That Trauma :: Reader Piotr W. on a Hellish Hospital

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Hello!

There’s a certain movie I saw back when I was a child (meaning, early ’90s). Now, I keep wondering what this movie was… I’ve been searching through movie databases and reviews for some time now, but – so far – I haven’t found anything that matches my memories.

Here’s what I can remember about this movie:

1. It was in colour and seemed to be something from the at least 70s. As I mentioned, I saw it in early ’90s, so it couldn’t be anything more recent.

2. The plot, I think, concerned a group of mad scientists / doctors performing experiments on humans. One member of this group was a female nurse.

3. At least one of the movie’s heroes was a male teenager / young adult.

4. One particular scene I remember involved a young woman being wheeled on a trolley by the aforementioned nurse. She was being prepared for some sort of experiment or mad science procedure. As she wheeled her, the nurse said to another scientist: “This one is for me,” “You promised this one for me” or something to that effect.

5. In a later scene, the aforementioned male hero entered a dark room and was cornered by small group of people reduced to savagery / zombiehood by the scientists’ experiments. I think that one of these people was the girl seen previously on the trolley.

6. Both the nurse and the trolley girl were Caucasians. The nurse was dark-haired, I think. I think that the girl was a blonde.

Does this ring any bells for anyone?

Best wishes,

— Piotr W.

Name That Trauma :: Reader Scott R. on a Possessed Passenger Plane

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Hiya. Long time reader.

I can not remember from where or whence this vision implanted upon my mind.

A jet is flying a long trip, perhaps overseas. Some sort of demonic or witchcraft force has taken over the flight passenger compartment. There is a hole in the floor of the passenger isle. Badness exudes from the hole. The passengers toss on a baby toy doll as a sacrifice. No good. It is the flight to hell.

I think it was a made-for-TV movie.

I can still picture badness bubbling up from that hole in the floor.

What say you?

Thanks,

— Scott R.

UNK SEZ: No problem Scott R.! That is most certainly THE HORROR AT 37,000 FEET which stars, among many others, the incomparable WILLIAM SHATNER! How can you go wrong with a made-for-TV movie involving vengeful Druid spirits on a plane!? Check out our ancient review HERE and the spectacular and SHAT-tacular clip below!

Traumafessions :: Reader Alex on Pipes from Ghostwatch

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The most dramatic childhood horror moment for me occurred at age 13, back in 1992 during a Halloween party at my friend Charlotte’s house in Selston (not far from Nottingham).

We’d all been out with her achingly cool older brothers (early 20’s) to rent horror films (from memory, DOLLY DEAREST and POLTERGEIST 2), but having arrived back to the house at about 9pm, we switched on BBC1 to be met with a title screen for “GhostWatch”, which I’m sure you’re familiar with. Being 13, impressionable and a little immature for my age, the hour and a half-ish long mock-live “real” feed from the incredibly normal looking “haunted” house in London absolutely SHAT me up. What made it so scary was the squeaky clean presenters we all knew from kids TV – Craig Charles (of Red Dwarf fame) and Sarah Green being so incredibly convincing that the show was live.

The juxtaposition between the everyday and absolute horror was incredibly clever. We also had no idea it was a “play”. That, and the fact that the titular ghost, which we screamed at as it was glimpsed and hinted at in incredibly quick camera pans and reflective patio doors etc, was a 6 foot, cross dressing, child-murdering pedophile name “Pipes” by the (at the time) convincing child actresses portraying the two daughters.

I have never been so utterly scared in my whole life, even surrounded by 10-12 prep school mates and my hosts older brothers, because it was portrayed as being live and utterly real. So real-seeming in fact, that it I believe it was banned by the BBC. I bought it a couple of years ago via their website on DVD (the ban apparently lifted) and even at the age of 32, it’s still bloody scary. Yes, it seems hammier now, but the ghost itself, horrible cat scratching noises and the horrific croaking, gasping voice emitting from one of the daughters as she channels Pipes is still terrifying.

Even Charlotte’s older brothers were shaken up, and as we all camped out in the sitting room to sleep – I was scared stiff despite being surrounded by my friends. Usually, I’d have been fine even if I had someone with me – not with GhostWatch, and in fact had to sleep in my brother’s room on a mattress for at least a month following that night. And I don’t mind admitting that!

— quick camera pan….HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT!!!!

Thanks so much for considering posting my experience, keep up the good work!

— Alex B.

UNK SEZ::Oh how I love GHOSTWATCH! It puts most faux-reality horror to absolute shame! Sorry about your trauma Alex but I stand here in utter jealousy that you got to experience GHOSTWATCH in the fullest way possible without completely loosing your mind! Kids, For more on this highly effective & influential program, check out its official site HERE! And if you’d like to watch GHOSTWATCH in it’s entirety just jump on over and meet Pipes HERE!