Author: unkle lancifer
Sunday Viewing:: Siesta (1987)
I say it's high time we have a "Be Kind to SIESTA (1987) Day" around here. Poor SIESTA never gets enough love. I guess that's what a movie gets for being so insane. If only it were on DVD I'd feel fine placing it on the shelf right between fellow trippy brain scramblers, JACOB'S LADDER, ANGEL HEART & MULHOLLAND DR. but sadly it is not (at least not in these parts). SIESTA is directed by MARY (PET SEMATARY) LAMBERT and you can tell because it sorta visually resembles a MADONNA music video. In fact , I believe it shares some footage with LA ISLA BONITA. The tone is something else though, it's got a creepy nightmare vibe enhanced by a haunting and hypnotic MILES DAVIS score. Rumor has it that LAMBERT asked her pal MADONNA to star but she said, "Nope" which is fine because that's how we get ELLEN BARKIN.
BARKIN stars as Claire who is having one of those mornings. You know the kind where you wake up on the side of the road remembering nothing wearing blood-soaked clothes. The rest of the film she staggers around Spain trying to figure out if she killed somebody while encountering every single person you wouldn't expect to see hamming it up in a movie together. Are you ready for GABRIEL BRYNE, JULIAN SANDS, ISABELLA ROSSELLINI, GRACE JONES (!), THE YOUNG ONES' ALEXEI SAYLE and a near LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVES DOWN THE LANE reunion in the form of MARTIN SHEEN & JODIE "My House!" FOSTER? Wait, maybe this movie actually is based on a dream I once had. Some folks make bigger fools of themselves than others but I'll let you judge for yourself who escapes with the most dignity. Of course critics for the most part attacked this film like a pack of rabid dogs but the bizarreness that makes it so easy to rip to shreds is exactly what makes it such an interesting and unique view. I heart me some SIESTA and am listening the soundtrack as we speak. Make sure you check it out if you've yet to…
Name That Trauma:: Pete G. on a Backseat Psycho Premonition
This has stuck with me for so long that it's almost impossible to believe it ever existed! A short film I saw as part of a double feature in Scotland at the local cinema (maybe with When a Stranger Calls?) -late '70s/early '80s. The parts that stick most is that it is British, short and it's about a woman who repeatedly "sees" or remembers a murder being committed, no one believes her and she is hospitalized. In the very end of the film it turns out to be a premonition of the murder of her own family by a psycho hiding in the back of the car. The film ends with her seeing a hand with a knife come up from the back seat as she stands horrified… Help me remember what this film was!
Thanks!
Traumafession:: Dustin In Minnesota on Sesame Street's Crack Master
I think I've read this one as a repeat offender, but I could be wrong. I know this traumatized quite a few of my generation, and it eventually was pulled from Sesame Street. This link probably won't last long, so view it while you can.
It probably isn't as scary as you remember it, but if you DO remember it, you probably remember being scared by it as a child. Enjoy the memory.
Name That Trauma:: John D. on a Monstrous Hand in a Jar
My sister and I have been searching for info on this for years. In the early '80s we saw a horror short on HBO (may have been USA?) where a lady had some type of monstrous hand in a jar. One night, I think she was in the shower, and the creature came back for the hand. I believe the short ended with someone else displaying the jar, but it had the woman's hand in it. Any info you have on this would be so great. Thanks, and keep up the good work!
Sunday Viewing:: Basket Case 2 (1990)
I forgot to tell all you critters that while I was rummaging through HULU's boss freebie pile I spotted an old pal, BASKET CASE 2! I love this wonderfully bizarre, surprisingly thoughtful, highly hilarious sequel so much that my brain now tends to think of the original BASKET CASE as a prequel. Who can blame me when SUPERMAN 3's reluctant robot lady ANNIE ROSS rules so hard in BC2? She really should be forced to star in everything forever for the benefit of mankind. If you have a mind to, you can read my full crusty & dusty review HERE, catch the snappy trailer below and then happily skip on over to the HULU joint to watch this fine feathered freak-fest for the sensational price of zero plus zero clams! Make sure you tell them Unk sent you so that you may marvel at the profound indifference that statement yields!
TOTALLY TRUE TID-BIT: Here's ANNIE as a kid in an OUR GANG short!
Name That Trauma:: Crafty Pants Carol on a Threatening TV Terror
Hey you guys!
I was just visiting with my cousin and he was telling me about a movie he saw in the '70s that scared the crap out of him and it sounds really cool – but I have no idea what it is.
There's a woman running through a house being chased by someone – or a group of people – and she keeps seeing herself either on a TV – or multiple TVs throughout the house – being killed. Or it might be in a painting. But it seems like the TV thing was more what his memory was. And she is either being burned or hung – or maybe both – in what she is seeing. And what she is seeing is making her run from the people chasing her. He said it was color and seemed like it was made in the '70s.
Thanks!!!
In The Mouth of Kindertrauma Funhouse
Can you name the horror movies these book cover illustrations represent? For much more horror book art stop by TOO MUCH HORROR FICTION.
Name That Trauma:: Sean G. on a Wish Granting Dollhouse
This was one of those movies that we were shown in elementary school to scare the shit out of us to straighten up and fly right. It was made in the ‘70s. These kids are annoyed that their parents are constantly telling them what to do, what to wear, making them go to school, etc., the standard stuff that kids bitch about. And then one day, when they are rooting around the attic of their house, they find some kind of magic dollhouse, which contains a slip of paper that says that if you make a wish to this house, the wish will come true. Naturally, the kids wish that their parents let them do whatever they want to do.
The next morning the kids wake up and go downstairs and see that their parents are still in bed. They ask if they have to go to school. The groggy parents say, "Whatever you want to do, honey." So they stay home and have a good time. Meanwhile, the father doesn't go to work and the mother just sits around doing nothing and days go by, the kids don't go to school, the dad doesn't go to work. At one point, the kid's friend's come by and ask them why they're not going to school, they say that they just don't want to. The daughter asks the mother if maybe they should go back to school and she says "whatever you want to do, honey." Things start to become desperate. The parents just walk around in robes, no one is going grocery shopping, the heat and electricity in the house is turned off, the daughter is shown scraping the last remnants of peanut butter out of a jar because she is so hungry.
In the last scene, the father builds a fire in a fireplace so they can warm up and the kids put the magic house in the fire and then there is a freeze-frame. This movie totally fucked me up. I had nightmares about it and so did my friends. What the hell was this movie and why was this shown to kids?
