Author: unkle lancifer

It's a Horror to Know You: P. William Pinto of Bizarre Noir Theater!

My partner and I own and operate the Bizarre Noir Theatre Company. Specializing in little-known musicals, plays, and absurdity in the New York area.

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

To this day I still get a chill from one particular scene in Superman 3 (1983). It's my earliest memory of running and hiding under the kitchen table with my fingers in my ears (even the sound of the scene scared me.) It's the scene where Annie Ross' character gets sucked into Robert Vaughn's super computer and gets assimilated into a Robot/Annie Ross Thing. I still get the shudders when I watch it.

2. What is the last film that scared you?

I really don't get all that scared any longer. I will get exhilarated or super-excited about a scene or a particularly well-executed special effect but my most recent true scare was more or less a severely disturbing. The scene in Ghost Ship (2002) where the dancing couples get sliced in half was burned into my corneas for all eternity. I will never NEVER watch that film again for that scene only, and I can never not have seen it.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Haxan (1922) Swedish silent horror documentary about witchcraft. Cleaned up by Criterion, the re-enactment scenes are beautiful to watch.

Sisters (1973) A Brian De Palma film that NO ONE knows. It's super bloody and has some amazing music by Bernard Herrmann writing his first synth score.

Theatre of Blood (1973) So many people don't know this film. And I absolutely believe it is some of Vincent Price's best work.

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

The Watcher in the Woods (1980) I don't care what anyone says!! I actually thoroughly enjoy it. Whether with the original ending, the second ending, or the ending Disney eventually used… if it's a dark and stormy night it's a great film to have playing.

The Eyes of Laura Mars (1978) Stylish, sexy… kind of like a romance novel cover. A John Carpenter script paired with Faye Dunaway playing a role written for Barbra Streisand. Good times.

Rose Red (2002) Seriously against my better judgment! Plot holes everywhere! Shoddy special effects! But I REALLY dug the puppetry used to animate some of the corpses. I will still put it on if I have a spare 4 hours to kill!

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

I really don't go to any other horror site but Kindertrauma, so here are five links to some scary scenes from my childhood that I cherish.

Return to Oz (1985) Mombi's Heads wake up.

Bride of Boogedy (1987) Corwin and Ari discover Mr. Boogedy.

Raggedy Ann and Andy (1977) The Greedy.

Vertigo (1958) The Dream Sequence. Enough said.

All That Jazz (1979) The Finale. Absolutely frightening and gorgeous… and then it punches you in the stomach. Brilliant.

It's a Horror to Know You: Brother Bill of The haunted Closet!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

Jaws (1975). Sorry for not coming up with something more obscure or original, but my parents took me to see Jaws in the theater when I was 5 years old, and for two weeks afterwards I had nightmares, convinced that a shark was going to somehow swim into my bedroom and eat me.

2. What is the last film that scared you?

Insidious (2010). It has its flaws and gets a flag for unnecessary silliness, but I was on the edge of my seat for most of the film, and unlike some critics, I thought the surreal alternate universe, which looks like a drug-induced stage play of Our Town, was thoroughly creepy and original. … although I'd also like to toss the TRAILER (that's right, the trailer) for the upcoming Prometheus. Saw it in Imax 3-D (okay, I just outed myself as having seen Titanic 3-D) and the rapid-fire editing under the sound of that bone-chilling screeching siren had me clinging the armrests. Can't wait to see the whole film.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Three Women (1977) Robert Altman's strange, dreamy study of the unusual relationship between Shelly Duvall and her new roommate, Sissy Spacek, who slowly assumes Duvall's identity. Utterly captivating from frame one. Who can forget the creepy moment when Duvall accidentally walks in on Spacek's elderly parents making love in her bed?

The Forbin Project (1970) A technology-run-amok Cold War thriller where the U.S. government has put a supercomputer name Colossus in control of the nation's defense, only to have it contact and ally with Russia's version and hold the entire planet hostage to its whims. Colossus also becomes obssessed with its creator, Dr. Forbin, and makes increasing demands on his personal freedom and privacy. I think I may have projected my own anxiety about adult authority into this when I first saw it as a kid.

The Machinist (2004) A worker in a machine shop suffering from insomnia finds himself questioning his reality after several disturbing coincidences. A study in paranoia and guilt, with atmospheric photography and an amazing Bernard Herman-esque score. From the director of Session 9, and starring that guy from Batman, The Machinist seems to have quietly faded into obscurity.

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

Squirm (1976) A freak lightning storm mutates normally harmless earthworms into ravenous flesh eaters. There's no reason to distinguish this from any other by-the-numbers-nature-gone-wild film, but they nailed the atmosphere by shooting mostly on location in the backwoods of Georgia, and there's plenty of gross-out encounters with hundreds of REAL, LIVING worms.

The Baby (1973). Blatantly exploitive bizarro film about a grown man forced to live as a baby by a psychotic family of women that refused to allow him to mature mentally. One scene using real disabled children crosses the line of what little good taste the film may have pretended to have. But The Baby plays its ridiculous premise totally straight (no tongue-in-cheek winking at the camera here) and the twist ending still gets me.

Hot Rods to Hell (1967) I love films that pit the squares against the troublemakers, and this one has the squarest square of them all, Dana Andrews, as a humorless father who moves his family west to take over a hotel only to find himself terrorized en route by a band of no-good teens in hot rods. There's plenty of preaching and moralizing for all, and a great ending where Andrews finally finds his courage and faces off against the lead punks with a nail-embedded two-by-four. "How would you like these nails in your face?" he taunts. Yes, please!

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

Pumpkinrot. Incredible photography of Halloween decorations and the like, updated frequently.

Vintage Kids Books My Kids Love. Galleries of classic children's picture books, like stumbling into the ultimate used book store.

Long Forgotten. Until a university starts teaching a class in Haunted Mansion-ology, you'll just have to study from home using this website as your textbook. An anthropological study of all things Haunted Mansion related.

The Sinisters. My OTHER little side project

Music video: "Name In Stone" by Dead Man's Bones. Haunting song with a great one-shot video of the group strolling through a cemetary (and yes, that guy in the band is Drive's own Ryan Gosling).

It's a Horror to Know You: Fishmodes

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. Yeah, it's not a horror film, but there were two scenes that terrified me. The first was when Large Marge told Pee-Wee the story of the truck crash, and then ended it by showing him what the face of the driver looked like when they were pulled out of the wreck, all in state of the art claymation effects. If that wasn't bad enough, my fear of clowns wasn't helped when Pee-Wee dreams of the clown doctors trying to save his broken bike. Then a sinister, but somewhat normal looking doctor walks in with a mask covering the lower half of his face. You know by the close up and the music you don't want him to pull that mask off, but he does, revealing a mouth and teeth painted around his own mouth, and he laughs. It was so weird and terrifying for a kid. Those two scenes scared me to death!

2. What is the last film that scared you?

June 9. I'll elaborate on that one below.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Terrified (1963). I feel this one hasn't gotten it's due, yet. The premise is a young man looks for a killer in a ghost town. The killer plays a game with him, some of which involves scaring him, and choking him to the point of passing out, then letting him go without actually killing him. The opening scene is particularly horrific. It does have a few B-movie trappings, mostly involving a subplot of two characters going to the police to help the main character and taking their sweet time for a calm little chat, and the ending is a bit weak, but overall it's pretty unique and worth a look.

June 9 (2008). June 9 is a found footage movie, and owes a debt to The Blair Witch Project, but has enough up it's creepy sleeve to stand on its own. A group of teens hear legends of some creepy things going down in a nearby town. This, of course, is the perfect place to party and record their deviance and debauchery on camera. This movie sets itself apart by setting up many different unsettling moments, and they do this brilliantly. Rarely are you scared in the same way twice. There are blink and you'll miss them scares, tense moments as the teens return again and again, and odd occurrences that amp up the tension. The ending is admittedly chilling, but is unfortunately completely out of step with the rest of the movie. However, it doesn't distract from the rest of this truly scary movie. June 9 is Blair Witch with a touch more of Lovecraft and a hint of David Lynch.

The Resurrected (1992). Also known as "Shatterbrain," this movie is a somewhat forgotten Dan O'Bannon film, and the only other one he directed, after Return of the Living Dead. RotLD is fun as hell, but this movie is fantastic. It is a loose riff on The Case of Charles Dexter Ward, by H.P. Lovecraft, and it is possibly the best Lovecraft adaptation to date. The Resurrected stars Chris Sarandon in what I think is his best performance as Ward, a man who locks himself in an old house as he obsesses over his secretive experiments. Lovecraft, O'Bannon, and Sarandon. How can you not be on board with those three names alone?

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994). This sucker boasts an over the top performance by Matthew McConaughy and his remote-controlled, mechanical leg. It plays boxed wine to the original's Dom Perignon. Some days you just prefer that old boxed wine to make you dizzy.

Mother of Tears (2007). Yeah, it's not Suspiria or Inferno, but really, what is? It does have it's flaws, as does every Argento film, if we're being honest. It is about the awakening of an angry, vain witch, who is no longer interested in hiding away in some old building. What I liked about this film, is you actually see a villain with world domination aspirations actually doing something about it. People are acting strange, possessed followers are running around, and she actually seems like she may pull it off. There are some great, tense moments, and Argento even gets a few classic kills in here, though I was saddened by the use of CGI blood. It isn't his best by a mile, but in my eyes, it's still the bee's knees.

The House on Haunted Hill (1999). How do I love this movie? Let me count the ways. Dark Castle mostly gives me a headache, but man, this is how you remake a film. Or maybe not. This era of horror was not my favorite, but this movie kept my dark heart beating through those rough, post-Scream years. Geoffrey Rush channels Price and chews scenery with great line after great line. Chris Kattan was funnier here than in probably any other film he's been in. And do we need to dote upon Jeffery Combs? It's not exactly a classic, but I love it.

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

Kindertrauma sends me to most of the places I go on the internet! However, I do have one.

Darkweb Online: This isn't really an endless resource, but their top 100 horror films is, with the exception of the rather predictable top 5, as well thought out as they come. I love it for introducing me to the great Night Must Fall (1937) alone.

It's a Horror to Know You: Brian Katcher!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

First film that ever scared me: 'The Halloween that Almost Wasn't.' (1979). This was a comedy, but when you're four years old, a scary Dracula and a zany Dracula look an awful lot alike. My mother discovered me hiding behind a chair, but unable to turn off the movie, even when she suggested I watch something else.

2. What is the last film that scared you?

Last film that scared me: 'The Grudge' (2004). Kind of hokey, but that scene where we see the woman's back and you know when she turns around we'll see that her jaw has been ripped off…yeah, I covered my eyes. Shortly after I became a father and had to stop watching horror movies.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Underrated: 'The Abominable Dr. Phibes.' (1971) I first read about this in a back issue of Fangoria when I was about eight, but never got to see it until I was in college. My girlfriend at the time wasn't impressed, but 'Nine killed you, nine will die,' always gives me the shivers.

'Signs,' (2002): I had just started dating my future wife at the time. She lived way out in the country. Out in the corn fields. I'm lucky she didn't dump me after the tenth or eleventh time I said 'Did you hear that?'

'Alien 3' (1992): I think this one got bad reviews just because it was compared to the earlier, much better films. I rate it third in the series, but it was still pretty good.

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

In spite of myself: 'Tales That Witness Madness' (1973): If they'd had a bigger budget, this could have been a classic. The cover art IS a classic, as far as I'm concerned.

'Twilight Zone: the Movie' (1983): Everyone hated it, and maybe it's because I saw this film before I really saw the TV show episodes, but I liked it.

'Faces of Death' (1978): Once you realize the footage is all faked, it's good, gruesome fun.

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

Forever Young Adult. Reviews of what's new in young adult literature…zzzzz Only it's hilarious! The Sweet Valley High drinking game alone is worth checking out.

Good Girls Gone Geek. Horror, sci fi and fantasy reviews, by a friend of mine.

Danny Isn't Here, Mrs. Torrence. Same as above

Snopes. The urban legends website. I've ruined more people's good stories with this one.

Brian Katcher's website. Yeah, that's me. I got books to pimp.

It's a Horror to Know You: Craftypants Carol of Craftypants Carol's Fancy Crafty World!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

I did a Name That Trauma (HERE) about the very first thing on TV that scared the crap out of me. It was a Movie of the Week commercial for some movie with a dude with a tall, Jack the Ripper-esque hat who was walking through the cobble-stoned streets of some town and scared me so bad I started to cry hysterically. My trauma wasn't "officially" named, but, as a result of all the great guesses, I watched I, MONSTER, which really has some major similarities with what I remembered – and is really good! After that, the movie that scared me beyond reason, that I know the name of, is ENCOUNTER WITH THE UNKNOWN. I included the creepy lady from that movie in a traumafession-style list (HERE) a while back.

2. What is the last film that scared you?

I'd have to say DEAD SILENCE. That lady is just too creepy for someone with a creepy lady phobia.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

I'm not exactly sure which movies are underrated, mostly cause everyone seems to have their own opinion and I never really know if there is some debate going on about them in the greater horror community or what the deal is. But occasionally I read things that surprise me. So…

1. Dead Silence – I'm pretty sure this is a movie a lot of people think is lame, maybe cause of the really idiotic CGI at the end, but I think it has some majorly genuine creepiness throughout.

2. A Tale of Two Sisters – Again, I don't know if this movie is underrated or not – but I don't really see too many people talking about it. To me it is genuinely creepy.

3. Death Proof – I have this feeling that there may be some sort of, not necessarily anti, but not very pro, Quentin Tarrentino thing amongst some horror folk – but maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. In any event – I have seen this movie at the very least 10 times – and love it more every time I see it. And I always yell "Deathproof Nacho!" during the nacho scene. It is entirely possible that the nacho scene is the reason I love this movie so much.

Honorable Mention: Bloodrage (1979) – I swear I'm gonna do a traumafession about this one soon. I swear!

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

1. Nurse Sherri

2. The Legacy (1978)

3. Black Candles (1982) It's not even remotely scary or very good – but I dig the softcore action and that the main chick's name is Carol and they say it like 100 times throughout the movie.

There are also many 70s movies on youtube I could put in both these categories simultaneously.

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

Dwrayger Dungeon.

Magic Carpet Burn.

Made for TV Mayhem.

Funky Frolic.

Retrospace.

It's a Horror to Know You: Jason S.!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

Tourist Trap (the scene when the girl is smothered in plaster haunted me for years), This House Possessed (fuck PSYCHO, the shower scene in this traumatized me), and The Day After (the film takes place where I grew up so it just made it all the more real).

2. What is the last film that scared you?

Not really scared me but left a huge impression on me:

The Strangers–grim and unrelenting.

Eden Lake–see above.

Cold Fish–based on a true crime story that rocked Japan.

Kidnapped–house invasion flick from Spain.

Snowtown–another true crime film, this one from Australia.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

The Haunting of Julia— beautiful performance from Mia Farrow. Needs to be seen in widescreen.

Through the Looking Glass— dismissed as just a porn film, this is one of the most horrific things I have ever seen.

Naked Vengeance— basically a remake of I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE, everything is taken up a notch from the rape to the revenge. Actress Deborah Tranelli is phenomenal (and even sings on the soundtrack!)

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

Mother of Tears–Not the final "Mothers" film we wanted but damn I love this one

Murder Rock–Fuci's dance/slasher film. Not a lot of love for this one but I enjoy it a lot

Witchery–Linda Blair gets possessed again.

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

Phantom of Pulp (one of my favorite blogs, he has turned me to so many great films)

Video Junkie (a trash movie lover's paradise)

The Big Bust Out Blog ( for fans of the WIP genre and beyond)

Bullets Over Chinatown (for fans of Hong Kong's CAT III films)

The Gentleman's Blog to Midnight Cinema (great place for reviews, interviews and for fans of exploitation/horror flicks)

It's a Horror to Know You: Chris Moore (writer/director/star of PERVERSION.)

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

THE WITCHES was certainly the most traumatic. THE WIZARD OF OZ was kinda scary, too, but I think THE WITCHES easily takes the cake. Even now, that film puts me on edge.

2. What is the last film that scared you?

The last film to scare me (in theaters) was probably INSIDIOUS. I thought it was brilliantly done. If I can't stop thinking about a film for weeks after I've seen it, I usually think it's pretty darn scary. The French film, INSIDE, really scared me, too, as did MARTYRS. The French are beating us to a pulp when it comes to horror movies.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

1. THE SENTINEL

2. HELL NIGHT

3. PHENOMENA a.k.a CREEPERS

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

1. SLAUGHTER HIGH

2. THE RAGE: CARRIE 2

3. THE SEDUCTION

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

Bleeding Skull.

Hysteria Lives.

Retro Slashers.

Critical Condition.

The Terror Trap.

It's a Horror to Know You: Amanda By Night of Made For TV mayhem!

What is the first film that ever scared you?

That's tough, but I am pretty sure the first thing I saw that actually sent a chill up my spine was the opening credits of Don't Be Afraid of the Dark. I was about 5 or 6 and I'm not sure I even watched much past the credits the first time out. By the way, could I read that well back then, because I have a distinct memory of reading the title. I think maybe it was just the black cat that got me. Anyway, it freaked me out. Then I saw the whole movie and the end freaked me out. I couldn't win!

What is the last film that scared you?

Honestly, I know it's not an Unkle Lancifer fave, but I adored Paranormal Activity. I couldn't even go to sleep when it was over. It's got some fantastic ideas that are well played. Also, I saw the Woman in Black remake and enjoyed some of the scary stuff in that as well.

Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Isn't it Shocking? – That is a rare TV movie with Alan Alda that I'm sort of obsessed with. It would be considered a proto-slasher in some respects, I think, and overall, it mixes the horror and humor brilliantly. It also has characters you love and while you don't really know many of the victims, because they are all over 65 there is something really disturbing about their vulnerability that adds an edge to their deaths.

Nothing Underneath – This is an 80s giallo that seems to leave people a little cold, but I can't understand why. It's so lush and stylish and has a great premise. Also, I think the relationship between the lead actor and Donald Pleasance is divine. They have a really warm relationship that benefits the film greatly. Plus, that ending!

The Slayer – This film is a totally nightmarish and brutal supernatural slasher with lots of creepy imagery! I also like that the film is structured around adults. I'm surprised we don't see more slashers with people in their 20s or 30s. Anyway, The Slayer still eludes the world of DVD, but it's a film well worth discovering.

I have to do two honorable mentions here as well (since they just popped up in my head):

Killer Party – Killer Party is like three movies all rolled up into one. You've got teen sex comedy, slasher and possession stuff shoved into a fairly brisk little film, which drives some people nuts, but through it all you've also got a really consistent friendship amongst the three lead girls. It's natural and it gives the film a little boost during the insane last 15 minutes because you don't just care about one girl, you care about all of them. These are the best times of our lives, indeed!

Blood Diner – I would be remiss if I didn't mention one of my all time favorite films, although it's not scary and only broadly crosses over into horror because it's gory and was originally meant to be a sequel to Blood Feast. There are so many amazing things about this film, but mostly (and I could write forever about this so I'll make it short), my love of Blood Diner sent me on a journey where I've met or corresponded with most of the important players. One of the leads, Rick Burks, died in 1989, but I was actually able to meet his family a few years back. I guess this movie is the ultimate escapist film for me. It's so ultra 80s, I'm immediately transported back to my favorite era via a neon saturated time machine!

OK, just one more: This House Possessed. See it! OK, done!

Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

The Mutilator – This is one of my all time favorite movies. I know it's flawed and a little hackneyed, but it's surprisingly brutal and the premise about a man seeking revenge for the death of his wife at the hands of their own son (albeit accidentally) is really interesting. There's a lot to work with and despite the fact that some of the film can seem a little silly (I'm looking at you Ralph!), you can tell it was a labor of love.

Moonstalker – I just recently discovered this late 80s low budget slasher. It's sort of all over the map, but it's also so much fun. One thing I've learned in life is that the effort can mean just as much as the outcome. If something is flawed but made with all the best intentions, I think it shows. Moonstalker is a movie where you can see the cast is having so much fun making the film that it triggers the same effect on the audience. Also, being a big soap opera nut, I love that the killer is played by Blake Gibbons who is now on General Hospital!

The Outing – I have seen this movie more times than I can recall. It was a regionally shot horror film made in Texas and my old boss actually worked on it, which impressed me immensely. It's about an angry djinn that goes all crazy nutso on this girl and her friends and family when she puts on a bracelet that connects the most spiteful genie in the world. I first saw this movie on USA's Saturday Nightmares and despite the fact that it was edited for television I found the whole affair brutal and somewhat scary. Plus, I love the guy who looks like he was an extra in Zapped.

Send us to five places on the Internet!

Go Retro: Great place to go back in time! I'm a big fan of this blog!

Cinema Du Meep: The Meepster covers all genres and knows his stuff!

House of Self Indulgence : Talk about dripping in neon. This blog is smart, well written, fascinating and totally 80s!

Movies About Girls : This is totally not safe for work, but it's a must if you like B movies and pretty ladies. I sometimes do a podcast with Ken and his insane crew, and they are hysterical. There is lots of fun to be had!

Christmas TV Companion : Joanna is sure to keep you cool in the summer with this awesome retrospective on Christmas television…

It's a Horror to Know You: Ben S.!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

The first film that really scared me was Flowers in the Attic (Jeffery Bloom, 1987). I was probably 6 or 7 and asked my mom to rent it for me on video after seeing a TV spot (inappropriate, mom! But I forgive.) The concept that a GRANDMOTHER could be abusive was truly more than my mind could take, and I turned off the movie as soon as Louise Fletcher picked up little Carrie by her hair and kicked little Corey across the floor. Also, there was just something about Louise Fletcher's face in that movie. For what I think might actually have been years after seeing Flowers, I had to avoid the "F" section of the Horror and Drama sections of video stores around town because I was afraid of seeing the movie's cover (I lived in fear whenever I browsed, because I never knew what genre they were going to place it in). Of course after that I became obsessed with it, and asked every adult and teenager I knew what happened after I turned it off. I needed to hear as many different angles as possible. I devoured the book in third grade (it got taken away from me and I immediately ran out to get a new copy, because I had to finish it!) Aah, trauma: Needing to know more, but being afraid to know more. It would be 4 or 5 years until I could actually watch the film, and even then it was a struggle for me to get through it because I brought so much baggage to the experience. After that I watched it 100 times and de-sensitized myself, and now I love it. I know not everybody thinks that it's a great betrayal of V.C. Andrew's novel, and I get that–but I think that it captures the novel's tone. I'm sure that Jeffery Bloom would be happy to know that the film disturbed somebody.

Runner up: Flipping the channel from an original airing of The Golden Girls (or something similar) to come across the "laser in the mouth" scene from Halloween III: Season of the Witch. I immediately changed the channel, but ran it over in my head hundreds of times. When I finally saw the movie I was, like so many, disappointed. Now, like so many, I think it's a great masterpiece.

2. What is the last film that scared you?

The Strangers (2008, Bryan Bertino). My partner and I rented it half-expecting to laugh at Liv Tyler being terrorized (even though I love her), and it scared the hell out of us both. I generally don't do home invasion movies–they hit too close to my deepest fears. I thought Liv was great, by the way. House of 1,000 Corpses also scared me more than I ever would have expected. That also sort of goes under "most underrated," for me. I love it unconditionally and don't understand why so many people don't–even though that's their right!

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Dead Silence (2007, James Wan): This movie got a lot of shade when it came out, and I don't agree with it at all. I thought that the visuals were fabulously kindertraumatic, reminiscent of The Fog and Something Wicked This Way Comes and a lot of other movies that I love but not in an overly derivative way. The story was engaging, and the scary old woman gave me the creeps (possibly because she looked a lot like Hildegard Knef in Witchery, triggering an innate trauma response. See my previous traumafession!) It is one of the most fun horror movies I can remember seeing in the theater over the last 10 years or so, and it's surprisingly old fashioned coming from the Saw people.

Haunts (1977, Herb Freed): I stumbled upon this in The Chilling Classics 50 Movie Pack and it, for me, exemplifies why I love those box sets. I know nothing about it, I know not where it came from–but it's a really engaging, slightly-boring-in-a-good-way character study about a woman dealing with her past traumas, which may or may not be manifesting themselves supernaturally. There's also a killer on the loose, and Cameron Mitchell and Aldo Ray. It is pretty reminiscent of "psychologically disturbed women" horror films like Repulsion, Let's Scare Jessica to Death, Images, Perfume of the Lady in Black, and Black Swan. I never get sick of additions to this subgenre. In addition, the mysterious lack of any background info available on Haunts makes it even more, well…haunting for me. The movie's also a little more ragged and unhinged and less polished than those other films, which makes its depiction of mental duress, on one level, more convincing and unsettling. Plus, I was struck by the amount of amazing footage of '70s kitchens. See also: The Witch's Mountain.

The Velvet Vampire (1972, Stephanie Rothman): I have to give a shout out to my favorite feminist '70s exploitation filmmaker, Stephanie Rothman. Her masterpiece, to me, is 1970's The Student Nurses. But Velvet Vampire is chock full of catnip: a bisexual vampire riding a doonbuggy, said vampire seducing Michael "Lance Rock" Blodgett by eating a piece of raw liver while wearing a frilly pink bathrobe and mourning her dead lover while lying on his coffin, a chic L.A. art gallery, Ingmar Bergman inspired dream sequences about sexual conflict. It depicts life as it is.

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

It's hard to answer this in an original way in a world where there's an entire website devoted to reclaiming Poltergeist III (love the website, love the film!) Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985, Danny Steinmann): I know everybody hates it because it breaks the rules and isn't very scary, but I've always had a soft spot for this film. I like the character development. Also, thanks to this movie, I always half expect Jason to pop up behind me while I'm looking in the mirror. I don't mind!

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988, Renny Harlin): I feel like people complain a lot that Freddy was too funny, and that it's too dated and trendy and Renny Harlin-ized. I love it for all of these reasons (I don't really need Freddy to be funny–but I love that it's like a string of commercials, sitcoms, and MTV music videos thrown in a blender with '80s-'50s chic and The Long Kiss Goodnight!) But also I find Alice's journey truly poetic and profound. What can I say? I also feel this way about the song "The Greatest Love of All." Anyway, I find myself watching this entry in the series all the time.

The House of Exorcism (1975, Alfredo Leone/Mario Bava): I sort of love this batshit crazy bastardization of Mario Bava's lyrical masterpiece Lisa and the Devil. I love that they thought that, by adding bizarre exorcism scenes, they would make Lisa and the Devil more palatable for American audiences. Instead the film is even less comprehensible–but to me it is oddly comprehensible on an intuitive level. I love that this movie used to be on TV on networks in the middle of the night. That it used to enter unexpectedly into people's homes. The House of Exorcism is, as my friend once said of I Know Who Killed Me, an act of cultural terrorism. In Annie Hall there is a shot of a theater showing a double feature of The House of Exorcism and Messiah of Evil. It is used to demonstrate everything that is wrong with Los Angeles, and instead demonstrates everything about Los Angeles that is right. If ever there was a double feature of dreams…

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

Cinema Treasures: A database of movie theaters where people share their memories of going to see films there. I like to google things like "THE VISITOR" AND "CINEMA TREASURES" to see what comes up. This is how I learned that Kim Basinger went to see EYES OF LAURA MARS in a theater in Santa Barbara eight times when it came out! I need to know why!

Cinema Du Meep: I found this from Kindertrauma. I will use this opportunity to thank its administrator for being a kindred spirit, appreciating Goldie Hawn, and endlessly helping me find films to watch.

The Complete V.C. Andrews: In honor of the first movie that ever scared me. You can read Wes Craven's original screenplay for Flowers in the Attic here and weep for the missed opportunities. They also have scans of those amazing dual layer covers that I imagine many of us remember fondly.

BADMOVIEART: The writer of BADMOVIEART is a friend, and also one of the most insightful and hilarious film critics you will ever read. Only on this website will you find a retrospective of films made by Hollywood Pictures. If it's sphynx, it stinks.

Eddie Ray Breaks That shit Down. When Eddie Ray says he is going to break that shit down he is not lying. He's a genius.