We interrupt our regularly scheduled Kindertrauma Funhouse with an emergency transmission from HORROR DIGEST! Yes, our old pal ANDRE DUMAS is back with ten film images that must be deciphered. Do you recognize these films within films? Guess away and let special funhouse guest host ANDRE help you along the way! Make sure you also check out ANDRE on her home network HERE!
I'm beside myself with enthusiasm for the 1974 supernatural zombie blaxploitation flick SUGAR HILL. My life before viewing it now seems to be, in retrospect, a sham. One time STARSKY AND HUTCH regular MARKI BEY is both ice cool and fiery fierce as Diana "Sugar" Hill, a woman scorned and reborn as a voodoo vigilante in a killer pantsuit. When Sugar's best beau refuses to sell his groovy nightclub "Club Haiti" to the mob he ends up beaten to death by goons in his own parking lot. Outnumbered and determined to even the score (and then some) Sugar gets by with a little help from her new friends; a geriatric voodoo virtuoso, a top hat wearing, trickster phantom and plenty of silver eyed-cobweb cloaked zombies. No difficulty knowing whom to root for here.
So I guess I thought I was going to enjoy SUGAR as an ironic hoot. I thought I'd bask in its hokiness, take in its eyeball busting fashions and smirk at the corn. Instead I found myself absolutely and fully entertained on every level. It does have a makeshift low budget air and the clothes and acting styles are of a different dimension but that doesn't curtail the movie from being a hundred percent engaging. The plot doesn't involve much more than following Sugar around on her EC COMICS inspired revenge spree but SUGAR has got atmosphere and attitude up the wazoo. Foggy, swampy and colorful, it also contributes a refreshingly original take on the living dead. Let's take a closer look at why I'm all bitten and smitten…
DIANE "SUGAR" HILL
MARKI BEY may lack the overall gravitas of icon PAM GREER but in many ways she's more down to Earth approachable too. Once Sugar gets rolling she's an unflinching comeuppance machine and she delivers her BUFFY-esgue pre-stomping quips like a seasoned pro. When asked how strong her hate is Sugar says, "As strong as my love was, my hate is even stronger." That's my type of woman!
MOMMA MAITRESSE
I have a real issue with actress ZARA CULLY and that issue is that I think she is the funniest person who ever lived. Yes, that's mother Jefferson from THE JEFFERSONS and I could not be happier to see her.
Maitreese is a bit reluctant to get her voodoo on initially but as soon as she sees the results of her mojo, she's all ear to ear smiles (as well she should be). The zombie awakening scene in SUGAR HILL is a showstopper and brings to mind both CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS and MICHAEL JACKSON's THRILLER.
BARON SAMEDI
DON PEDRO CULLY's turn as the fantastically frocked God of the dead "Samedi" is a twisted treat and a half. Samedi appears at will, in many a guise and is a master of lascivious mischievousness. Imagine Candyman and Freddy Kruegar combined under one top hat and then wonder forever why SUGAR remains without a sequel.
VALENTINE
Just because Sugar's main squeeze is recently departed doesn't mean she doesn't have time for romance. RICHARD LAWSON appears as Sugar's old flame "Valentine" who suspects foul play but can't possibly imagine the "fowl" play reality of an animated voodoo killer chicken claw. If LAWSON looks familiar to all you horror fans out there, you might recall him donning a striped sweater in the classic POLTERGEIST.
MORGAN
If you're looking for a big baddie with some full-fledged horror cred, how can go wrong with ROBERT QUARRY? QUARRY's resume includes COUNT YORGA, VAMPIRE and THE RETURN OF COUNT YORGA plus he starred in both DOCTOR PHIBES RISES AGAIN and MADHOUSE with VINCENT PRICE! Like all good revenge flicks SUGAR saves Morgan's demise for last and squeezes as much satisfaction out of it as possible.
ZOMBIES
Oh, how I love the zombies in this movie. They're less the decrepit rotty kind you'd find in a ROMERO movie and more the pissed off phantasmal kind like you'll find in CARPENTER's THE FOG. Their eyeballs look like silver ping-pong balls sliced in half and they come covered in cobwebs and accessorized with shackles and machetes. These guys are somehow both silly and strangely scary and I will never not like that combo.
THEME SONG
If I had my way it would be mandatory for every horror movie to have a theme song. SUGAR HILL has a doozy in THE ORIGINAL's SUPERNATURAL VOODOO WOMAN! What a great way to instantly get in the mood!
IN CLOSING
What more encouragement do you need to visit SUGAR HILL? Although hard to track down on DVD, SUGAR is currently available on NETFLIX streaming. This is ghoulish fun that packs a punch while retaining a gleefully morbid sense of humor. It's perfect for the Halloween season and fans of CREEPSHOW and TALES FROM THE CRYPT should be doubly pleased with just how sweet SUGAR's vengeance can be.
Hmmm. While watching MY SOUL TO TAKE all I kept thinking was that the direction was serviceable and that the acting was passable but whoever wrote the script needs to be diagnosed and medicated appropriately as soon as possible. Now as I look on the IMDb I see that the writer of SOUL is none other than my darling, my hamburger, WES CRAVEN himself. MR. CRAVEN, if you should be reading this, I'd like you to stop right now and go HERE until I am done.
Is he gone? Are you sure? Oh, my God you guys I am SO GLAD to be home and far away from that movie. It was driving me bonkers. It's just non-stop jabbering from beginning to end, exposition on top of exposition over and over and over again. Rules and numbers and ifs and maybes and blah blah blah. One guy actually falls out of a closet gutted and then is forced to explain how he ended up there for twenty minutes as he dies. "I was coming to see you and then this happened and then that happened and I thought maybe this but then it turned out to be that and then I went over there and you made a sound over there and then…" Holy shit, I get that you are NOT the killer just die already and peace out.
From the very get go we're thrown detail upon detail and are delivered nonsensical procedures that if not done properly will result in this or maybe that and are you familiar with the California Condor? Allow me to read you the Wikepidia page on The California Condor. When the actors aren't squawking then the radio or television is on doing the same thing in the background. It never ends. Now some of this may have been intentional as a way for WES to show what it might be like to have voices in your head all the time but still, I've seriously just taken an Excedrin anyway. Please don't ask me to tell you the plot of this movie because I just can't bear to go over the convolutions again.
It's not scary at all. Well, that's not entirely true, there was a period where I was scared that I myself may be going crazy or perhaps that somebody had put some drugs in my DR. Pepper. Maybe I'm just getting too old. Am I really old now? Everybody in this movie looked like a troll doll and spoke like a gnome. I guess I can accept that somebody might call somebody on their cell phone while running in the woods from a killer after seeing their friend dead but would they call the person who they think is chasing them? I just think that I would concentrate on running. Am I crazy, maybe I'm going crazy?
You know what? I liked the woods. There are a lot of woods in this movie and I liked going there. The look of the movie was kind of nice and autumn-y and the main guy in it was pretty good too. He's supposed to be an innocent "angel" that looses his wings and WES put these two gashes on his back so that was a nice touch. He may have had some gay thing going on with his friend but I always think that when two guys hug in a movie while one is stabbing the other that they really should just get a room already. His sister was pretty.
Oh, well c'mon it's not that serious. We all know WES right? He's the guy who followed up NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET with THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 and DEADLY FRIEND! Ha-ha! He's probably just joking around with this movie. He loves doing movies like this every once in a while. It's kind of like when my little brother and I would put every disgusting thing we could find in a blender and see how gross it would come out. You're not really supposed to like it right? I don't know, maybe it's me. Maybe the whole thing just flew over my head like a California Condor.
No, no, no, no, it's NOT me. It's not me at all. It's YOU WES and you're just going to have to man up and take responsibility for your actions. Since we've got history and I still do LOVE you even with all your faults, I'm going to give you a blurb for your DVD cover: "It's a movie going experience that you won't soon forget…..(cough) try as you might." Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go to sleep now and dream of a wonderful place called "shut your pie hole town".
I know I may judge things too quickly but trust me; I'm always so excited to be wrong. In fact, I wish I could be wrong more often. Wrongness makes me super happy. Late last night I thought I'd catch ADAM GREEN's FROZEN on the pay-per-view. As it started, I thought, "Oh crap, this is a ‘dude' movie, I just paid five bucks for a ‘dude' movie and I'm not in the mood." I like dude movies for sure but sometimes I need a little more than wheelie popping and hackie sack playing from my movie characters. Chances are, no matter who you are, I don't care about your car. Well, I couldn't have been more wrong about the trio of characters that were introduced at the beginning of FROZEN, I thought I was going to hate them and now I can't stop thinking about them.
FROZEN is an arduous experience with an emphasis on experience. As the credits rolled at the end I realized that I was exiting a very different door than the one that I came in through. In a way it kind of brought back memories of the OPEN WATER films (Yes, I even dug the second one) but it really kicks the dilemma and the human element up a few hundred notches (not to mention feet.)
The premise involves two guys, a girl and a soon to be unanimous desperate longing for a pizza place, getting trapped on a ski lift half way up the mountain. With its stagnant setting and limited cast, FROZEN could not have been an easy film to pull off but GREEN certainly does so in spades. There is real suspense here and moments that had me wincing and holding my head in horror. As far as delivering the thrills go, I doubt the screws could have been tightened with better expertise but ultimately we get much more than an endurance test.
I don't want to ruin much here but GREEN, who also wrote the screenplay, does an incredible job with the human element of this film. Imagine THE BREAKFAST CLUB facing death. The nightmare scenario drifts down in such a way that I think anyone could relate. It brings forth moments in life when we realize we really may be up shit's creek and that things may not just magically turn around for the better. We watch and feel the characters come to this horrid epiphany and it's nearly impossible not to put yourself into their ski shoes.
Both KEVIN ZEGERS and SHAWN ASHMORE deliver strong, believable performances as two long time friends facing the end but who the heck is this EMMA BELL? EMMA BELL is frickin' above and beyond amazing in this! She was killing me! I actually wanted to tell her, "Stop!" at one point because I was about to (sniff) lose it! In fact I don't even want to think about it right now, it's a nice day. I'm almost mad about being manipulated in such a way but I think there is so much truth in the dialogue and I know that my mind would be going to the same places that these characters' minds go to in this situation. Really, the direction impresses a lot but the writing even more so.
So, short review because the less you know the better but an overall tip of the wool cap to all involved for making me squirm like a worm and actually making me feel something for some folks I initially wanted to shrug off. Check this one out whenever and however you get the chance. If you think you know the direction that the cold wind is going to blow in FROZEN, let me assure you that you're probably just as wrong as I was.
I, for one, did not need another film version of JOHN AJVIDE LINDQVIST's novel LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. The 2008 Swedish film of the same title directed by TOMAS ALFREDSON is, in my opinion, as good as it gets. Still, I couldn't help but be curious. Plus, how in the name of hell was I NOT going to support the first HAMMER production in nearly thirty-five years? Seriously, I felt like I got my moolah's worth as soon as I saw that legendary name projected upon the theater screen…
The good news is that LET ME IN, directed by CLOVERFIELD's MATT REEVES, is NOT a steaming pile of useless garbage. Maybe it's my vivid imagination but I detected an earnest affection for the material. I can't say it casts the same lyrical spell that the earlier interpretation did but it does score gold stars for the respect it pays the core relationship within the story. I have no idea why it chooses to indulge in subpar CGI when it is clearly unnecessary but overall LET ME IN is nothing if not dignified. Most miraculously, it has a purposeful patience and a rare kind of faith that its audience doesn't require non-stop jump jolts and bombastic musical cues masquerading as scares to remain attentive.
(Some might argue that its poor box office showing proves that faith was squandered but c'mon, why would anyone think remaking a two-year-old film, vampiric or otherwise, would be a sure thing?)
Chances are you are already familiar with LET ME IN's plot. A lonely bullied boy (this time named Owen rather than Oskar) befriends a vampire (this time named Abby instead of Eli) and both parties gain comfort from their quixotic bond. The boy learns to defend himself, the vampire learns to trust and every one rejoices when a douchbag's decapitated head sinks to the bottom of a swimming pool.
As you might have guessed I LOVE this story! Both cinematic adaptations shy away from the gender smudging found in the book but slyly slide the same gist forward anyway. Spiritual connection is the point here and whatever junk one may be packing is incidental. It's the type of symbiotic platonic relationship that is rarely acknowledged or celebrated in our culture. (Possibly because Madison Avenue has yet to discover anything as potent as gender inadequacy fears to sell antiperspirant.) Well, the world may not have much use for bonds like Owen's and Abby's but they themselves sure do. Is it romantic? Yes, anytime someone gifts you a Rubik's cube it's fucking romantic.
NOTE: Strangely enough the other night I was watching 1995's LEAVING LAS VEGAS and was struck by how much it resembled LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. Just switch out the blood for booze and you have a sister tale of lost souls building their own hideaway from the world and creating a relationship based on their own and not traditional terms.
As much as LET ME IN doesn't suck, there's not much that the 2008 version doesn't do better than the 2010 one. Some shoes require more than noble intentions to fill them. That said, I did find enjoyment in some of the newer version's riffs and alterations. REEVES' choice to amp up Owen's latch key solitude by CHARLES SHULTZ-ing his parents into non-entities is cynical, savvy and spot on. He also ends up giving vampire Abby's caretaker/father (the always marvy RICHARD JENKINS) a much more robust and ultimately more frightening spin. There's a car crash scene he's involved in that will undoubtedly have many folks double checking their seatbelts far into the future.
Being permanently trapped in the eighties my rad self (by choice mind you!) I also slobbered at the welcome edition of poppy new wave hits by gender blenders BOWIE and BOY GEORGE. The piece de resistance for me though occurs when Abby pushes the play button on a tape player in a makeshift clubhouse and none other than my juju jam FRUER's DOOT DOOT begins its cricket chirping intro. I know I've mentioned it once before but that song gives my goosebumps goosebumps and it's a perfect choice here for another blast of menthol.
Hate to say it but the biggest problem for me lies in this film's two leads. Both CHLOE MORTEZ as Abby and KODI-SMIT MCHEE as Owen do incredible, outstanding jobs with their parts but I found it near impossible to let go of LINA LEANDERSON and KARE HEDEBRANT's interpretations. (Obviously that's a bias that will not hit you if you are seeing this version first.) Both kids had my support and sympathy but a neon sign in my noggin kept flashing "Imposter!" Like cloned sheep, BLADE RUNNER replicants and that dang robot kid from A.I., I wished them the best but couldn't quit shake the feeling of some kind of glossy innate falsity. Maybe that's just my hang-up; MORTEZ can act up a storm all she wants but at the end of the day I'll always prefer my vampire critters looking more like ALICE COOPER than SCARLETT JOHANSSON. In a similar way the whole of the newer version is just a tad bit too pristine and lacks the natural more earthy rawness of the previous film.
Alright, I admit it, I miss the killer kitties, is that so wrong?
Separating legitimate criticism from knee jerk loyalty gets a bit like untangling Christmas lights here. I guess the important thing is that LET ME IN does a better job than one could reasonably expect, all things considered. Arriving unfashionably late and offering not much more than another excuse not to read something, its fate as an also-ran is pretty much sealed. On the other hand, I think the material deserves to be discovered in any way it can be; if this version is able to reach somebody that the first film or the novel failed to then more power to it. I say experience LET THE RIGHT ONE IN in any way, shape, format or under any title you can. It not only avoids the superficial mire most vampire tales get stuck in but it stands as a gleaming example of the vast depths that the horror genre, in general, is capable of and is rarely given credit for. If you've seen the first film, there's a "been there done that" quality to LET ME IN for sure, but personally I'd much rather retrace these worthwhile footsteps in the snow than follow another newer path that leads absolutely nowhere.
O.K. – it has taken me way too long to finish this up – but finally here it is! I got the idea of compiling creepy lady faces from way back when that whole TOP TEN WILLY MOMENTS thing was going on and some of these are on the list on my blog (UNK NOTE:: Go to that swell spot HERE!) but not all of them. They probably should have been though cause I can't think of much more that kept me in a constant state of freaked-out when I was a kid than these ladies faces visiting me in the night.
As an adult I have added a few more ladies to the list…and they tend to sneak up on me in the middle of nights when I am feeling rather weak and feeble – such as Unk's addition to his top 10 willy inducing moments list of the lady in SATAN'S TRIANGLE, and the originator of the willy list idea, ANDRE of THE HORROR DIGEST's addition of the old witch lady from BLACK SABBATH. Also, I was a little disappointed that there weren't more faces to add. I really thought there would be like 10, at least. These are in no particular order of how much they scared me. Actually they aren't in any order at all – I just don't feel like moving them around. And I'm not really going into major details with some of these. You will understand what I'm saying if either you've seen them, or you are planning on seeing them, or you know exactly what I'm thinking, or all three.
THE OMEN – Mrs. Baylock
I've noticed that most people, when referring to creepy goings on in THE OMEN, usually point to the nanny who hangs herself out the window during the birthday party. While that is kinda creepy, to me that is nothing compared to Mrs. Baylock sneaking up on the mom while she is trying to put on her shirt in the hospital. Her face is so menacing and she keeps coming closer and closer to the camera, and all the while LEE REMICK is struggling is a position that would make anyone feel vulnerable.
BURNT OFFERINGS – Marian Rolf as Mrs. Allardyce
I think this is quite possibly one of the most mentioned '70s horror scary lady faces. At least it is in my head. I think the photo speaks for itself.
Honorable mention: BETTE DAVIS' face while she is writhing in pain from a broken back.
ENCOUNTER WITH THE UNKNOWN – Mrs. Davis (or the lady in the cemetery)
This movie is a horror trilogy that scared the pants off me as a young child, and this lady was the main reason. Her face haunted me for years and whenever I couldn't make out my sister's face in the dark it would morph into this face. I was on a desperate horror trilogy search for most of my 20s and when I finally found it, on TV late at night, I was thrilled but it had lost 90% of its impact. O.K. more like 99% of its impact. The movie is nice for nostalgic reasons, or if you like '70s horror just for the feel – but it's not very scary.
EAST OF EDEN – Kate Ames
This was a made-for-T.V. mini-series that came out in 1981 that was very popular with the folks (mostly ladies and young girls) who liked their epic romances. I watched it with my mom and sister and i liked it's soft focus, flowery, olden days style, but it really picked up in the second half when the lovely young Cathy turned into incredibly creepy prostitute, then brothel owner Kate Ames. I won't go into the story too much cause it's all long and complex and none of it has a point here. Basically every time we see Kate she is in all black with a big hat and veil and when she speaks she is very bitter and scary and at the very end she is suffering from rheumatoid arthritis, and some sort of crazy lady disease – maybe syphilis, since she's a prostitute. We see her in a small room with one dim lamp and she looks like a freak!
When I was trying to find images online from what I remembered of the end of this series there was absolutely no image anywhere even remotely resembling Kate in this state of madness and all in black. All the photos online are of Cathy with long lush hair and white frilly dresses and soft focus lenses. So I got the movie from Netflix and took some screen shots and watched this last part and was surprised by how creepy it still was to me. At this point she is clearly out of her mind and is saying something like "What they don't know is… I can make myself so small…that they can't even see me." She says something to that effect in a creepy whisper over and over again and the camera simultaneously pulls back up to the ceiling so that she becomes smaller and smaller in the shot. Plus she's smiling.
THIS HOUSE POSSESSED – Rag Lady
There are more reason's to watch this movie than PARKER STEVENSON. In fact the whole movie is really great and he is just the icing on the cake. I saw this movie many many times in my youth and the character of the rag lady (and she is credited on IMDb) was the part that creeped me out the most. Just her face here with the sad, scared eyes and the general old lady creepiness is creepy, but there is a part that scared me so much I couldn't watch it for years.
In this scene the rag lady gets swept into a boiling swimming pool and her face in the water was just too much for me to take – as a youngster, that is. As an adult I'm all "What ev' THIS HOUSE POSSESSED, you don't scare me anymore." In fact now this movie makes me feel all cozy inside.
Honorable mention: When the blonde lady slides down the glass shower door all covered in blood – with her mouth open and screaming and all.
SYBIL – Hattie Dorsett (the mom)
She is just plain scary. I just recently saw an episode of MISSION IMPOSSIBLE that she is in – from the first season in 1966 – and she looks almost exactly the same – with the same hair do.
DARKROOM – The Witch
This is from the DARKROOM TV series from 1981 that I watched every week. Unfortunately, it didn't last very long, and I really don't remember anything of the other stories but this one that scared the CRAP out of me. The title of the story is "Catnip" and the whole synopsis is on the site THE HAUNTED CLOSET, so I won't write it out here – but the ultra scary moment is when this kid looks under his bed, thinking he is going to see a cat that jumped in his window, and he sees this creepy-ass witch's face hissing at him. I'm telling you it added a whole new level of fear to the what's going on under the bed thing. I mean now I couldn't even check under the bed cause seeing this face under there would be worse than just laying in bed sweating and wringing my hands. Then, at the end of the episode the kids mother is calling him and he doesn't answer and his mother says "What's the matter…cat got your tongue?" I don't think you see the kid anymore – and all I could imagine was that scary witch gnawing on his tongue. Creepy.
Oh and thanks so much to THE HAUNTED CLOSET for the screen shot – I never thought I'd see this creepy old lady again!
UNK SEZ:: Thanks for the great list Carol! I'm happy to tell you that I found that THE DARKROOM episode "Catnip" on YouTube!
Does this movie look heavy? It's not heavy, it's my brother's! That's right my very own brother TOM VAUGHAN just put the finishing touches on his first feature! It's called PLAYING HOUSE and where it may fit more snugly into the psychological thriller camp, take it from me, there's some real horror in this movie. In fact, I've seen the movie twice and there's one scene that got me but good both times. AUSTIN WINTORY, the guy who did the music for GRACE, even did the fantastic score! We'll keep you up to date with where you can catch PLAYING HOUSE but in the meantime, check out its official home base HERE! And make sure you check out the trailer below!
Playing House Trailer from Playing House on Vimeo.
NOTE: Whatever you do, please don't tell my parents that my little brother made a movie because then they're going to start pressuring me to make one and I just don't have the time because I'm right in the middle of a PS3 game.
I know everybody says Karma is a bitch but I don't think Karma is nearly bitchy enough. I will say this about Karma though…lazy, lazy, lazy. Give lameazoid Karma a helping hand by identifying these ten images from ten films where people get their just desserts crammed in their deserving faces!
Oh the majority. There's a reason why the majority should not have the power to vote on the civil rights of others. The majority has a crappy track record. The majority thought slavery was a super idea and this one time, at band camp, the majority thought that women shouldn't be allowed to vote. Who has the audacity to both nail groovy Jesus to a cross AND burn witches at the stake in his name? That goobly gobbly gelatinous blob the majority that's who! Benefits of joining this club include never having to feel shame or remorse and never having to feel personally accountable for your actions. Jump on in, the water is oblivious! How's that whole "people are basically good." thing working out for you Anne Frank? My mistake, the majority didn't snag you, you died of Typhus. Even the best concentration camps can do little to curtail a typhus outbreak.
The majority of the students at Carrie White's school think she's creepy. Strawberry blonde is just a polite way to say "borderline ginger" and ick, she's all insecure and shy. Don't you just hate people who don't reek of their own self-satisfaction? Her house is a joke, her mom is a loon and her dad, somehow unclear about the sanctity of straight marriage, abandoned her ass years ago. She's vulnerable, she bleeds and she's all alone. What choice does the majority have but to take advantage of the situation and rip her to shreds? Remember, if you want to be all safe and snug in the majority you better be able to identify who's NOT in the majority. Just look around for somebody who's having a harder time in this world than you are and proceed to make their life worse.
Speaking of majorities, let's say you gimme some of that old time religion (it's good enough for me!) Please don't be offended my devout friends, I know not all believers are hypocrites who wear the mask of God to do the devil's work. Personally, I bring a basketful of faith with me to every funeral I attend. (Lye has many wonderful uses too but it's not recommended that you throw into someone's face.)
In Carrie White's world we're not talking about religion but the abuse of religion, the way religion is used as a tool to keep certain people underfoot. Momma White has a clear "don't ask don't tell" policy about telekinetic powers and the idea that Carrie is a sinner due to her sexuality is constant. Thanks to mom's favorite book Carrie spends a lot of time in a closet. Yep, it may be more than strong female characters and campy dirty pillow talk that keeps the gays coming back to this STEPHEN KING story.
See what's happening here? Maybe I shouldn't have watched CARRIE right after I read about yet another bullied gay teen committing suicide. It keeps bleeding into my piece! On second thought, I doubt my timing was a random accident either. After reading about yet another bullied teen committing suicide some spark must have ignited in the back of my head that said, "Time to watch CARRIE!" BRIAN DePALMA's eternal asshole roast always makes me feel so much better.
Not only does the majority of the cast deservingly die horrible deaths in CARRIE but it's also just such a brilliantly crafted film. I swear the score alone makes me levitate. Is there even a weak link moment in CARRIE? I used to think it was the fast forward tuxedo purchase scene but I've come to appreciate that bit as a needed bubble of relief between the torturous Christ crawl beginning and the cathartic flaming blast of divine retribution close. When did this movie stop being a horror movie to me and start being my very own gospel? If Carrie White burns in hell then hell is located in my heart.
Back to teens gay or otherwise being bullied to commit suicide. Oh wait, I'm sorry one recent kid who killed himself was only 11 so he was not really a teen at all. Let's just say kids, kids in our schools that go to our churches and live under our roofs killing themselves because we fail to instill within them the basic self love not to. Kids killing themselves because they live in a world where it's acceptable to believe that some people have more worth than others, a world that tells them that outnumbering is the same as being right and that morality is measured by the pound.
Sorry, sometimes I forget my second class citizen status and I get all, what's the word? Uppity. It's only that I can see the graffiti on the wall from here. Eventually one of these bullied kids is not going to be satisfied politely offing themselves in a corner and are going to spin their torrent of rage outwardly. Then when enough of the "worthwhile" kids are lying in their own blood we'll start that conversation again about the effects of violence in movies and video games. Frankly I'm sick and tired of my favorite genre being in the hot seat because a majority of people spoon-feed hate to their offspring for breakfast every morning. Hey, I don't mind jumping off the sidewalk for your twin pod cloud car baby carriage but if we're going to dumb down our entire culture for the sake of "the children" can I at least have some insurance that your lil' entitlement dolls aren't just more bigots in training?
NOTE: I have many friends with kids and I'm consistently impressed with the progressive values that they consciously instill in them. If you are a responsible parent, I'm not talking about you. In fact, I thank you and recognize you as THE MOST important factor in the solution to this fucked-up epidemic.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah CARRIE. Am I the only one (God forbid) that watches CARRIE as revenge porn? Scratch that, "revenge" is such an ugly word. I should say "retaliation" porn. "Retaliation" sounds more like designer perfume. Why does this movie that I found so frightening in my youth now only feel empowering? Even the film's hand from the grave ending, which once upon a time nearly made me piss my pajamas, I now read as a triumphant promise that Carrie's fury will remain long after her death. By film's end Sue Snell, the lone survivor has amassed far more than the gruesome memories of prom night; she is now and forever acquainted with the depths of Carrie's previously unacknowledged torment. (According to CARRIE 2: THE RAGE, Snell took that knowledge and put it to good use becoming a high school guidance counselor.) Sue Snell and her problematic empathy, whatever did Tommy Ross see in her?
So where does the horror lie in CARRIE? This ship doesn't sail by the power of our fears of not fitting in does it? That seems lame. Overzealous religious folks like Carrie's mom are off-putting but they're pitiable more than anything else. Maybe CARRIE works because it ignites the collective mob's cowardly worry that someday they'll pick the wrong witch to lynch and it is they who will burn. As far as I'm concerned Carrie White should be the patron saint of every bullied teen (or kid) out there. She may have ended up crushed beneath the wheel, but what religious figure worth their Red Sea salt doesn't? Yes, she brings down a world of destruction but every decent Bible story ends the same way. I believe it's truly tragic that the wonderful Miss Collins gets shortened at the hip but I can't blame Carrie for her perceptions being a bit off. Having your dreams met with a bucket of pig's blood is bound to distort your view.
I don't (officially) condone violence as the answer to anything and I'm aware of the contradiction of pushing Kumbayah sentiments while watching P.J. SOLES' eardrum get ruptured by a wayward (and pregnant with Civil Rights movement history) fire hose but sorry, I can't help but get giddy when oppressors reap what they sow. Thank you Carrie White for getting me through the rough patches (no matter what my age) with your cathartic house cleaning skills. At this point, if you ever pop your hand out of the grave around me, I swear to God, I'm only going to want to shake it.
Tommy Ross, close us out with your awesome (and Carrie White approved) poetry!
"What are you going to leave for us,
you people in your cars,
spewing pollution into the air?
You people with heavy feet
trampling down the wilderness.
You people who peer into the back seats of our cars,
hours after you come out of the back doors of your motels.
Soon, all we will have is each other,
and that could be enough.
If you will let us have room enough,
and air enough, and peace enough
to love each other as you never could."
