Category: General Horror

Dark fantasy horror meister Guillermo del Toro’s epic dream project FRANKENSTEIN is a glorious sight to behold. It’s got the lush goth visuals you’d expect (on par with Coppola’s BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA ('92) and Robert Eggers’ recent NOSFERATU) and easily stands as the freshest and most earnest modern take on Mary Shelley’s classic novel in memory (the less said about Keneth Branagh’s 1994 misfire the better). Besides having a genuine heartfelt love and understanding of the material, what del Toro really nails here is the fine art of flawless casting. Oscar Isaac as Victor Frankenstein is exemplary and is basically born to play a mad scientist ( sorry for the nerdy aside but Disney needs to do a remake of THE BLACK HOLE (’79) pronto and pay Isaac anything he wants to portray Dr Hans Reinhart) and Jacob Elordi is such an inspired choice to play the skulking, otherworldly, monstrous yet beguiling creature. And of course, as the emotional, ethereal sympathetic heart of the tale, Mia Goth is a no-brainer whose name alone basically underlines her automatic invite to the party. Heck, even Christoph Waltz seems to have sprouted organically out of the stunning sets. There’s enough liberties taken to keep things interesting, and enough loving salutes to honor the timelessness of the work and it’s just a fine piece of art and possibly the best thing del Toro has done (barring possibly PAN’S LABYRINTH; I’m kinda shruggy on SHAPE OF WATER and I saw DEVIL’S BACKBONE in a theater with no air-conditioning and I’m still grouchy about it). Here’s hoping his long gestating adaption of H. P. LOVECRAFT’s SHADOW OVER INNSMOUTH is not far behind.

I noticed Tubi original MATCH getting some positive feedback online but didn’t take it seriously until I saw it was directed by Danishka Esterhazy who delivered the surprisingly good SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE (2021) remake and the more amusing than expected THE BANANA SPLITS MOVIE (2019). I’m glad I checked it out and I’d like to spoil something for anyone who might be sitting on the fence about giving it a go. MATCH, which has the set up of a “date from hell” movie is also secretly a mutant monster movie in the same vein as my eighties faves THE FUNHOUSE (’81), THE UNSEEN (’81) and HUMONGOUS (’82). I give that semi-spoiler fact away because I know I would have run to the flick a lot sooner if I myself had known that. MATCH is pretty gross, kinda nauseating, semi-sleazy, hard to swallow, borderline ridiculous and downright agitating at times (due to a wide array of bad decisions made by its frustrating characters) but it's also a highly entertaining grindhouse throwback with some goofy, off the wall BARBARIAN (2022)-like charm. You might want to bring a barf bag but you could certainly do a lot worse and the Tubi price of zero dollars is impossible to beat.

Dan Trachtenberg injected much needed new life into the PREDATOR franchise in 2022 with the outstanding PREY, continued his upgrading with the animated PREDATOR: KILLER OF KILLERS earlier this year and has now somehow raised the bar even higher with PREDATOR BADLANDS. This wild world building sci-fi horror hybrid offers all the kinetic action and pulse pounding suspense of Jon McTiernan’s 1987 classic and then ices the fresh take cake with characters that grow and deepen, wondrous vistas and habitation never witnessed before, amiable humor and gratifying comradery. Baked right in are meaningful themes regarding the value of chosen family, the power of rejecting inherited identity, the advantage of cooperation over division, and it's all tied with a bow of earned honor, redemption and self fulfillment. I’m guessing not everyone is going to go along with the franchise’s newfound sense of soul and willful leaning toward the benefits of empathy but for me, this too scarce element takes an already entertaining series and makes it all the richer and more satisfying.

Dimitrius koloamatangi portrays Dek, a broken fang-faced black sheep Yautja who is fierce as hell and yet still hasn’t earned his stripes according to his ruthless, code obsessed clan. In order to prove his meddle, he goes on a WIZARD OF OZ-like journey to an eye-popping, perilous planet in search of an indomitable trophy and in a nutshell, reluctantly learns that the real trophy is the legless synthetics, bug eyed hobgoblins and helpful shoulder space eels we meet along the way. Elle Fanning is ditzy discarded rag doll perfection as abandoned Weyland Yutoni skin job "Thei" whose knowledge of the surroundings Dek uses as a “tool” and whose rose-colored misconception of her missing allies nearly leads to their ruin. It’s incredible how much expression (both determined and exasperated) Koloamatangi is able to convey through his crustacean visage and Fanning is an ideal idealistic comic foil yin to his stringent Yautja yang. It is said there are exactly zero human characters in this movie and boy, did I not miss them one bit. I also heard that some fans were opposed to the movies PG-13 rating and I have to say, I never even thought about or noticed that. It seemed plenty violent and gore strewn to me.

No matter how you slice and dice it, Trachtenberg is heroically saving the long running series from chasing its own tail in circles and broadening it in commendable ways few could have ever predicted. Here’s hoping Dek, Thia and company have many more adventures ahead and you can count me to gleefully follow them wherever they may go.

A special note to animal lovers: take tissues because if you are like me, you are going to need them. I made the mistake of not bringing tissues, and my poor t-shirt and jeans paid the price for that rookie mistake.

This movie is difficult to talk about without spoiling it, so I will be as careful as possible. Indy is the faithful and loving dog to Todd (Shane Jensen-voice), his human. Indy would do anything to protect Todd from whatever forces threatening him. Indy is the main character, and the audience sees things from his perspective. The dialogue is kept to a minimum in Good Boy because our protagonist is a dog. The dialogue the audience does receive is to the side; many conversations are on the phone between Todd and his sister, Vera (Arielle Friedman-voice). The movie begins with a sweet montage of Indy as a pup, and Indy’s blooming relationship with Todd. Early on, Todd decides to take Indy to his deceased grandpa’s home out in the middle of nowhere, where it seems to be perpetually raining. Indy, even before they get to the house, notices a dark, shadowy figure outside the car; this is when Todd is opening the gate to the property. This is just the beginning of Indy’s experiences with strange shadows, noises, and unease. As the audience is experiencing everything through Indy’s eyes, the logic in what he sees comes from his canine instincts. At times, Indy’s perspective seems like “dream logic,” where things don’t quite make sense. The only other characters in the movie are Todd’s grandpa (genre favorite-Larry Fessenden-seen on VHS tapes), Grandpa’s faithful dog, Bandit (also seen on VHS), and a neighbor (Stuart Rudin) who lives relatively nearby (the neighbor provides some exposition about his grandpa and the surrounding area). Indy senses Todd is in some kind of danger, and he doesn’t know how to help him. At the same time, Todd’s personality changes; he becomes harsh towards Indy, which Indy doesn’t understand. No matter what happens, be it scary apparition or an unusually aggressive Todd, Indy stops at nothing to try to help Todd. 

Indy is indeed a good boy who deserves all the praise he is getting for his extraordinary performance. The writer/director, Ben Leonberg, also deserves quite a bit of praise for painstakingly working on this unusual film for three years. The experimental nature of the film reminded me of Skinamarink (2022) in that it was shot from the perspective of the dog, whereas Skinamarink was shot from the perspective of small children. However, Good Boy differs by recognizing that the film shouldn’t “overstay” its welcome. The 73-minute runtime makes way more sense than Skinamarink’s hour and forty minutes. 

I give Good Boy two paws up!

I try to see every horror movie that is theatrically released in my hood but I’m afraid I’m going to have to skip THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER 2. I had planned to keep an open mind but how can I ignore the writing on the wall? I really didn’t like the previous effort and word on the street is that this stab is even worse than the first! I just can’t do it. Maybe I’ll watch it at home eventually but it doesn’t seem worthy of a $3 subway trip or the general discomfort of going outdoors. So here is a list of a few similarly themed horror movies I’d prefer to watch instead…

Let’s start with the worship worthy wonder that is THE STRANGERS: PREY AT NIGHT (2018). How do you make a sequel even more ferociously unforgettable than its predecessor? The formula is simple, add neon lights and eighties music! It’s not rocket science! Spooky as hell and way more re-watchable than the first, this fun and feral sequel can stand strongly on its own. This baby provides a perfect template springboard for what could have been a solid trilogy. Tragically, the perfect baton pass set-up was ignored in favor of backtracking dilution.

2014’s THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN is a meta-happy relaunch done right (full review HERE). The atmosphere is impeccable, it enhances rather than repeats the OG’s mythology and it even features horror legend Veronica Cartwright!

If it’s anonymous lunatics you’re looking for, you can’t beat the horrific stylings of 2001’s JOYRIDE and its intimidating antagonist “Rusty Nail”. I’ll even vouch for its two hyper violent, highly entertaining WRONG TURN-esque straight to video sequels JOYRIDE 2: DEAD AHEAD and JOYRIDE 3.

Not sure why few ever speaks of IF I DIE BEFORE I WAKE from 1998 because to me, it’s the scariest home invasion flick I can think of. Muse Watson of I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER fame loses the Gordon’s fisherman look and is all the scarier for it in this traumatizing nightmare scenario flick.

If its creepy masks you’re looking for, can I interest you in OUT OF THE DARK (’88)’s Bobo the clown? I realize killer clowns are a dime a dozen these days but this particular lunatic is preoccupied with terrorizing phone sex workers who work for Karen Black! Perfect late night cable eighties sleaze that can even boast featuring the last role of everybody’s favorite harbinger of good taste, Divine!

I’ve gleaned from the trailer that the new STRANGERS will at least partially take place in a hospital, a place where many other horror movie aftermath sequels occur. Consider the legendary warning against tampered treats and bad wigs known as HALLOWEEN II ('81) or Rob Zombie’s misunderstood deep dive into PTSD of the same name! May I also suggest the creepy Canadian stalk-athon VISITING HOURS (’82) and my personal favorite, the chilly & thrill-y Norwegian horror continuation COLD PREY II (2008) which is nearly every bit as good as its dynamic parent film.

If it’s resourceful gals stalked in a limited setting you’re in the mood for there’s always the campus Christmas calamity KRISTY (2009), the holiday parking lot suspenser P2 (2007), the Halloween (’78) precursor FRIGHT (’71) featuring a young Susan George (full review HERE) and the made for TV pulse pounder THE VICTIM starring Elizabeth Montgomery. Director Mike Flanagan delivers HUSH (2016), a slightly aggravating but always nail-biting modernized ode to the classic WAIT UNTIL DARK (’67).

Finally, I would be remiss to not throw some respect toward THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER 2 director Renny Harlan. Although he helms the ill conceived assumed fiasco, I can’t begrudge the guy a paycheck and I have to admit he has delivered worthwhile entertainment in the past. He’s given us fine action flicks with DIE HARD 2 (’90) and CLIFFHANGER (’93) , a respectable ELM STREET sequel with PART 4: THE DREAM MASTER (’88), an awesome shark flick in DEEP BLUE SEA (’99), the snowy found footage jaunt DEVIL’S PASS (2013) and perhaps his greatest achievement, the excellent LONG KISS GOODNIGHT (’96) ! He’s dipped in the hack pool a few times (see pot boiler yawn machine EXORCIST: THE BEGINNING (2004) ) but hey, every creative person knows that not every endeavor taken is going to work out exactly as planned. So, no hard feelings sir and if it helps, I think legendary box-office bomb CUTTHROAT ISLAND (’95) is actually sorely underrated.

I feel for the deranged fisherman with a hook in the latest ‘90s horror legacy sequel I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER cuz I relate to being incapable of getting over the past and I sorta want revenge for the injuries this flick inflicted upon me; most notably, extreme whiplash thanks to the drastic highs and lows it delivers. On one hand, it gifts a true magical mid-way sequence of such wonderful surreality that it’s destined for legendary status and on the other hand, some of the fireworks it attempts to ignite turn out to be lead balloons. For every delightful character there’s an irksome one, for every savage kill there’s a limp dispatch, for every perfectly constructed callback to the original, there’s a cringe-worthy ham-handed pander grenade. I’m saying it’s a bit uneven. Chef’s kiss in some areas and lunch lady slop in others. I’m not mad though, it’s a summer slasher revamp of a right place at the right time hit that always lived in the shadow of SCREAM so expectations deserve to be kept in check. I do admire its sheer audacity even if its wheels are a tad wobbly at times.

Again a group of friends are left with a moral dilemma after some dubious vehicular choices. Sadly, this time around the propelling accident is hardly their fault (imo) lessening the horror and the group are fine but hardly as charismatic as the classic crew. Par for the course, threatening notes are received, interesting characters are slain too early (RIP freaky true crime podcaster Tyler (Gabbriette Bechtel)) and Scooby Doo level detective work ensues. Maybe I’m just an old curmudgeon (scratch the maybe) but even though I understand it’s imperative to the plot, the switch from highly textured and atmospheric working class surroundings to a glossy, angular LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS backdrop takes it’s toll. There’s a certain amount of relatability that’s lost but maybe that’s just my feeling of disconnect to the intended generation Z audience. The elements that unnerved me in the original like that shady cameo by Anne Heche and the smelly trunk full of crabs are replaced by shiny churches, glass mansions and lame engagement parties. I gotta say though, I did dig the pop music playlist in this one more than the original so maybe I’m not quite dead yet.

As far as my fellow old-timers go, I enjoyed seeing Julie James (Jennifer Love Hewitt) transform from a wispy whiner to a wise, level headed, no more F’s to give, trauma-expert and doe-eyed pup Roy (Freddy Prinze Junior) becoming a rough around the edges paternal salt of the earth bar-owner. On the down side, some of the editing leaps all over the place making it feel like there were important connective scenes excised. Without getting into spoilers, some of the murders leave gasp-worthy visual aftermaths and some come across as tame enough for MURDER SHE WROTE’s Cabot Cove. There’s nothing here remotely as thrilling as the Helen Shivers (Sarah Michelle Gellar) stalking scene in the OG but there’s nothing as eye-rolling as STILL’s “Ben’s Son/Benson” reveal either. The killer reveal here is going to be divisive for sure but I’m OK with it as it amounted to some extra scene-chewing for all involved. Ultimately, this is an OK enough fast food diversion even if some of the almost non-human dialogue may leave you scratching your head afterwards. If nothing else, this earnest (director /co-writer Jennifer Kaytin Robinson is clearly a fan) salute to the original hit and its middling sequel (we as a society have collectively decided the third never happened) delivers one absolutely gonzo scene that felt like a hug from the slasher gods and an amusing coda that could be a springboard for more. It’s a cruel, so-so summer but there are enough bright spots to make the trip worthwhile.

Director Danny Boyle and writer/director Alex Garland have collaborated once again to deliver 28 YEARS LATER a sequel to 2002’s 28 DAYS LATER and its 2007 continuation 28 WEEKS LATER and the result is well worth the wait. 12 year old Spike (newcomer Alfie Williams) lives with his parents in a gated survivalist community. His mother Ilsa (Jodie Comer) is bed bound and often delusional thanks to an unknown sickness and his father Jamie (Aaron Taylor Johnson) is preoccupied with Spike’s impending young adulthood and ability to kill the infected rage virus victims that roam the countryside like zombies. Dad Jamie takes Spike on an ill advised right of passage hike outside of their safe zone where he learns of the different types of infected, from bloated worm eating slug people who squirm around in the mud to the oversized, highly dangerous, uber-endowed, semi-intelligent “Alphas” who lead crazed packs of rampaging marauders. Spike also learns of ostracized doctor Ian Kelson (Ralph Fiennes) who he imagines might be able to help his mother. After barely returning home alive, Spike witnesses revelatory incidents of his father being disloyal and untruthful and disillusioned, takes his ailing mother back out into the perilous (yet wonderfully scenic) countryside to find the doctor.

28 YEARS LATER is a breath of fresh air both as a sequel that compliments its predecessors and as an apocalyptic “zombie” flick in general (the 28 series may not actually be “zombie” tales but they certainly have influenced them, especially considering the popularity of TV series like THE WALKING DEAD & THE LAST OF US). It’s beautifully crafted, with excellent gritty cinematography (by OG 28’s Anthony Dod Mantle), includes innovative sound design, great music and the entire cast is top notch (particularly the lead family trio). Surprisingly, this horrific nightmare scenario also has a great deal of heart and possesses a sincere interest in respecting life, death and nature itself (most apparent via a cameo by the famous Sycamore gap tree which was tragically felled by 2 jerks in 2023) There are also moments of biting gallows humor and a wild absurdist streak that insures you won’t leave the theater bummed out of your mind. Not everyone will be on board for this crazy flicks tonal grenade conclusion (Note: I recommended this movie to my horror loving niece and she hated it) but I was thankful for the dose of lunacy after such a hearty, heavy trek. 28 YEARS is the first part of a trilogy (the second installment is already shot and will be released early next year) and I have to say I’m excited for whatever off the wall capriciousness comes next.

M3GAN 2.0 gilds the lily and then some, transforming a routine science gone wrong/killer doll horror tale into something more like a mash up of TERMINATOR 2 and MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. The result is a sometimes fun, sometimes headache inducing action comedy with only a few wires still connected to the horror genre. I won’t bore you with the avalanche of technobabble this movie asks its audience to endure, just know that the fashionable, sometimes murderous AI entity M3gan is back and this time she’s rebooted to fight another robot on the fritz who means to destroy the world via a mainframe computer that looks like leftovers from a BUCK ROGERS set. There’s tons of action and POWER RANGERS-esque fighting, many a double cross, and a bunch of heavy on the camp one-liners but it all mostly comes across as a directionless brainstorming session and I couldn’t help missing the original films uncanny, creepy undercurrent. Heck, I don’t even think the titular doll looks half as convincing in this so-called upgrade. It’s an amusing movie for sure, and I suppose it does have something to say about motherhood and its connection to our responsibility toward the growth of technology but nothing really convinces or seems like anything more than a jest. It all just feels like too much and too soon; sort of like directly following the original FRIDAY THE 13th ('80) with JASON X ('02).

None of this is the fault of Allison Williams who once again portrays M3gan’s sparring partner Gemma, who is able to participate in the action in a fresh new way even when burdened with unwieldy dialogue. She may be the only relatable character in the movie, especially at the moment when she shuts down M3gan’s impromptu interpretation of Kate Bush’s “This Woman’s Work” and yes, you read that correctly. It’s a memorable yet cringe-worthy scene that works as a good reminder that some originals just can’t be topped and if it’s not broke, why fix it?

Summer is here and the time is right for hitting the great outdoors… but vicariously through a TV set because it’s way too hot to step outside. Nightmare road trips are a horror staple so here are a few underrated flicks about folks who live to regret going where they shouldn’t have gone…

ANIMAL (2014) surely could have used a more distinctive title but I can’t be mad at a movie that delivers fine monster design, impressive practical effects, a committed cast (which includes future NOPE star Keke Palmer, CHASING AMY’s Joey Lauren Adams and Thorsten Kaye of SHARK ATTACK 2) and generous gore. It’s a monster movie AND a “Cabin in the woods” jaunt and I dig that it is simple, up front, streamlined and refreshingly straightforward. Some might prefer a little more explanation as to how, why or what the formidable creature is but I’m just going to assume its the offspring of the beloved mercury mutant(s) that wrecked havoc in John Frankenheimer’s PROPHECY (’79) and consider it an unofficial sequel. Extra bonus points for the Tomandandy (THE MOTHMAN PROPHECIES (’02), THE HILLS HAVE EYES (’06) THE STRANGERS (’08)) score!

THE MONSTER (2016) is written and directed by Bryan Bertino who did the same duties with THE STRANGERS (’08) but it takes a completely different nerve shredding path to provoke anxiety. Rather than fears of home invasion being stoked, this movie reminds ya how leaving your safe space is fraught with multiple dangers as well. As a card carrying agoraphobe, the hackneyed “car breaks down in the middle of nowhere’ scenario works on me all too well and the additional burden of having to look after someone else only adds to the unease. Here, a young mother with substance abuse issues (Zoe Kazan) is driving her teenage daughter to her dad’s house for her co-custody visit. The car hits a wolf and the two are stranded in the woods awaiting help with more than a few familial issues to iron out and something much worse than any canine on their tail. This one was released by A24 so you know it’s moody, determined to play with audience expectations, and not necessarily always a popcorn crowd-pleaser but Kazan delivers a harrowing performance and Bertino knows how to inject depth and tension to every hairy turn.

PRIMAL (2010) is an Australian mash-up of horror sub-genres that’s action packed, super kinetic and wonderfully grotesque. We’re in familiar territory from the get-go as a group of friends are on a road trip to study some cave art and sadly learn that said cave art is actually a warning for them to stay as far away as humanly possible (due to the tiny insects that can eat the tires off your car, the contaminated leech filled pond that can turn you into a feral fang toothed maniac, and the plethora of mysterious tentacles). If Cronenbergian contagion body horror is your bag you’re sure to be RABID (’77) for what comes next and if you dig possession flicks like DEMONS (’85) & THE EVIL DEAD (’81), or nature gone wacko flicks like THE RUINS (’08) you should feel right at home here too. Bad decisions abound and a few moments might be a little too slick for their own good but when this movie starts heading for the finish line it fires on all cylinders. The directing (and editing) by Josh Reed is refreshing and vivid, the cast is easy to hang with and the final girl-friendly finale is savage, off the wall, and utterly bizarre.

It’s back to Australia with DYING BREED (’08) a film that features not one but two legendary figures. I’m not talking about WOLF CREEK’S Nathan Phillips and writer, director Leigh Whannel who both star in the film, but a murderous cannibal known as “The Pieman” and the notorious Tasmanian tiger. Friends on a road trip (compete with multiple driving aerial shots, natch) travel into the wild in an attempt to complete their pal Nina( Mirrah Foulkes)’s deceased sister’s research involving an extinct marsupial who is rumored to still exist. They end up staying in a seedy backwoods hotel occupied by creepy, too friendly locals who turn out to be descendants of the dreaded “Pieman” and covertly keeping up the family legacy (by reheating Tobe Hooper’s non-vegan nachos). Triggering mayhem ensues on multiple levels & I’ll look past the (staged) animal cruelty because it fits the film’s survival of the fittest theme. There’s a WRONG TURN meets DELIVERANCE (’72) vibe that I just naturally find harrowing and an EDEN LAKE mean streak that bums me out in a way that I thoroughly respect. It’s a tension packed cannibal meat pie with more than a few surprise teeth baked into the dish.

Speaking of TCM, the sadly hard to find (check YouTube or Dailymotion) Indonesian blood soaked gorefest MACABRE (2009) deserves a lot more eyes on it. A group of victims, I mean friends, are driving to the airport (for a job offer in Australia no less) when they spot a young woman who seems stranded and lost. Not realizing you can never trust any other human in this life ever, they decide to play good Samaritan and drive her home. Ostensibly wanting to repay their kindness, she invites them in to meet her family leaving out the detail that her family is insane, kills folks on the regular, and sells the scraps to rich peeps who want to stay looking young (Main mama villain Shareefa Daanish is truly stunning so it’s clear the murder=Youth theory has got some merit). This movie rallies near DEAD ALIVE (’92)-level carnage with gusto as the group (which includes a very pregnant woman) try their hardest to escape the lunatic family while their numbers dwindle in the grisliest of ways fast. Who will survive and what will be left of them (spoiler: not many & not much!)?