Kindertrauma Merchandise!

Hey! Check out that shop-link up in the upper right corner of this here page! Now you can own tons of official Kindertrauma merchandise! Are you frequently accused of being unfashionable? Maybe you need a Kindertrauma T-shirt! Does your coffee taste gross? Maybe you need to drink it out of a Kindertrauma coffee mug! Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it and give it some Kindertrauma magnets! What a great way to better your life and support poor people (who aren’t getting any younger) at the same time! There are currently three designs; one for every human mood! They make great gifts and the holiday season is approaching! Don’t be the last on your block to be Kindertraumatized! SHOP NOW!

Screening Alert:: Blessed Are the Children

If you live in the lovely city of Philadelphia or are Philly-adjacent you should scrap whatever plans you’ve made for this Saturday night (November 18) and swing on down to South Street. I say this because KINDERTRAUMA and THE PHILADELPHIA UNNAMED FILM FESTIVAL (AKA PUFF) are teaming up to host a very special screening of CHRIS MOORE’s twisted shocker BLESSED ARE THE CHILDREN! You can read my full review of this fine flick right over HERE or just believe me when I tell you to do yourself a favor and go see it! This is sure to be a fun one to watch with a crowd and I think you’ll really dig the unique screening space at 327 South Street (right across from the good ol’ TLA Theater!) The movie starts at 8PM which means you can still go out afterwards and get drunk (but not if you’re driving). Check out the trailer below and be there (327 South Street at 8PM on Saturday the 18th) or be square!

Happy Birthday to Us! It’s Kindertrauma’s Tenth Anniversary!

We have to interrupt our regularly scheduled Friday afternoon movie puzzle because today’s the day we celebrate KINDERTRAUMA’s ten-year anniversary (actually, our true birthday is tomorrow but I won’t be here tomorrow- and if our site stats are accurate, neither will many of you). It’s not easy being a middle child running a horror blog because you’re always hyper aware of how much attention everybody besides you is getting but it’s also a blessing being a middle child running a horror blog because there’s a good chance that you learned long ago to appreciate the multitude of peaceful pleasures that hiding in plain sight brings. First and foremost, I am proud that we have attracted the most wonderful readers in all of the Internet; people who love movies and love sharing favorite titles with others but have little use for drama, circular arguments or foaming on a soapbox. I want to thank every commenter who has ever dropped by because you have always treated each other with respect and you have all added something personal to enrich and improve this joint. Thank you for every traumafession, “Name That Trauma!” and “It’s a Horror to Know You!” Thank you for every submission, collaboration, love letter to an underrated film, like, share and shout out too. Thank you to the people who lurk and enjoy and don’t say anything; I totally get you. This is a community project and we are forever grateful to have found such generous and positive kin.

We had some great times (like that time ROB ZOMBIE tweeted about us) and we had some not so great times (like that time this year when a corporate Borg approached us to do a KINDERTRAUMA TV series, acted like pals and pumped us for ideas and then sent us a predatory contract that would have them owning our name, concept and content past, present and future in exchange for zero credit, chump change and trickle down “publicity” and then when we wouldn’t sign they said, “Nobody owns the name KINDERTRAUMA! We can make this show without you and you’re just lucky we offered to include you!” and then we had to spend a pretty penny to get a trademark to protect ourselves and then they made the rip-off show anyway with a totally prosaic title and it sunk like a lead balloon because witchcraft is faster than karma). Those not-so-good times can get you down my friends. One day you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning to start on a new post or Photoshop meme and the next you’re pretty sure if you never lay eyes on a laptop again it will be too soon. In my Eeyore brain it’s not the good times that makes 10 years impressive, it’s the withstanding of the bad times but every time I was ready to throw in the towel I’d miraculously get a kind word and move on. Let me get corny- after the above mentioned debacle this year, I was like WILFORD BRIMLEY in THE THING hanging out under a noose when I got the below message on Facebook and it made me misty-eyed like the funeral scene in CANDYMAN

I had to share that because it makes me think we all must be doing something right. Now when I get that WILFORD BRIMLEY feeling (mostly when someone takes something I made, erases our name and posts it as their own), I just re-read that incredibly well-timed pat on the back from a stranger and it usually works. OK- now I’m starting to wish I hadn’t used up all those thank you’ s to you fine people in the first paragraph because I want to say them all again. I hope I covered everybody because you all rule. Oh geez, I forgot Aunt John! Do you know how much worse my punctuation would be without Aunt John? Do you know he had to teach me what little I know about Photoshop and that I have scant idea what’s going on in the backend of this site? Thank you, Aunt John! I owe you infinity beers. I highly doubt that we can do this for another ten years but no worries- something tells me that KINDERTRAUMA ™ is forever. Happy Birthday to us all!