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Friday The 13th: The Game

July 8th, 2017 · 6 Comments

I almost forgot to tell you fine folks that I got an opportunity to play the mind-blowing FRIDAY THE 13th video game! No, I’m not fancy enough to have a state of the art PS4 but I have a friend who is that fancy and we all know it’s not what you know but who you know that counts these days. I’ve been hearing a lot of stories about glitches and impossibly long waiting/loading periods but the night I played everything ran smooth as silk and the only glitch I ever caught was a rifle oddly floating in space and I kind of thought it looked cool anyway. Personally I found the game to be fun as hell. I know not all of our readers are into games but this is one that I think you should check out for kicks anyway if you get a chance. It’s basically like being thrown into one (or more) of the films and it tends to be as much fun to lose as it is to win. You can actually visit your favorite Crystal Lake hot spots like the staircase that poor Mark rolled down after he got an undeserved machete in the face, Jason’s sloppy shrine shack and even cozy book-filled Higgins Haven. It’s really a nice place to wander about in when someone isn’t trying to kill you.

Can you believe I survived the first two times I played? I believe I accurately behaved very closely to how I would in real life in such a situation. In other words, I hid a lot, ran in circles fretting and then jumped into the back of a car that a smart person or persons was able to fix. When Jason came after the car I watched the occupants jump out and bravely attack him as I looked to see if the car was old enough to have an ashtray in the door. I know that sounds cowardly but let me tell you, as soon as I started getting brave is as soon as I started to have my head crushed in. Oh, the things I’ve seen! Oh, the humanity! You really get a front row seat to shady human behavior when you’re playing online with random people. The cool thing is that after you are dead you can spy on the remaining players (or wait to be re-spawned as Part 6 Tommy Jarvis). I watched a person fix a boat only to have their pal jump into said boat and roar away without them! The betrayal! And once when I had gun I decided to help some folks when Jason jumped in front of their vehicle only to have them back up and run me over! The injustice! Ah, memories that will last a lifetime. Anyway, I had a blast and I can’t wait to play it again and check out any and all updates (a single player version and new maps/locations are promised) and I hope it inspires many more slasher movie tie-in games (my fingers are currently crossed for HELL NIGHT: ESCAPE FROM GARTH MANOR).

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Tags: General Horror · Toy Chest

Kindertrauma Toy Chest:: Burnt Offerings Board Game

June 11th, 2014 · 5 Comments

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Tags: Toy Chest

Kindertrauma Toy Chest:: Duel: The Board Game

June 7th, 2014 · 2 Comments

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Tags: Toy Chest

Kinder-Toyz:: The Happy Birthday To Me Game!

March 27th, 2012 · 3 Comments

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Tags: Kinder-Factory · Kinder-Pix · Toy Chest

Name That Trauma :: Reader Paco on a Pop-up Doll

January 12th, 2011 · 6 Comments

Back in the ’80s when I was a kid there was a toy where a monster would pop out and eat people/elves (not sure). As I remember it was a mini scene where something comes out from under a rock. It haunted me for years.

Later as a teen, I saw the DEVILMAN anime movie and it had an intro with fairies flying peacefully over an alien looking forest. Out of nowhere these cute things get eviscerated by all sorts of nasty carnivorous fauna and creatures. It’s terrifying and also creeped me out for a while. It reminded me of the toy I am trying to remember.

Please help,

Paco

UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Special thanks to Chris for solving it with Rocks & Bugs & Things!

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Tags: Name That Trauma! · Toy Chest

Traumafessions :: Spooky Sean on The Christmas Toy

November 24th, 2010 · 5 Comments

When I was about six years old, one of my favorite movies was a little film called THE CHRISTMAS TOY. Only, it also happened to scare the utter shit out of me, with its concept. For, you see, when the Jones’ leave the room, their toys come to fucking life.

The film opens with Kermit the Frog dressed as Santa Claus falling down the chimney, and into the Jones’ home. He explains how, in essence, whenever any of the human beings leave the room, the plastic and stuffed play things come to life. Apparently, they also like to sing, for as soon as Kermit peaces out, we get a musical number.

I had a very over active imagination as a child, and the premise of the film more then anything fucked with my head. So, wait, when I leave the room, my Ninja Turtles and my Fraggle Rocks will come to life?! And when I come back inside, they will go back to playing dead? What the hell, am I not cool enough for them to just talk and sing to me! Or, are they planning some kind of terrible plot against me, and they can’t talk about it in front of me! According to the plot if the toys are seen moving by humans, they become frozen. I’ll tell you, if I saw a stuffed animal come to life, I’d be frozen too; frozen in fear for my sanity.

I’m sorry, I love the toys and inanimate objects come to life films, but can you see how they might be disturbing to a small child who hasn’t yet solidified his sense of reality? Re-watching it, of course it just seems silly, but yes, I was also still a little freaked out. Fuck, there is a scene where one of the main toys, Rugby the Tiger, is spying on the adults from inside the closet! Tell me that Tiger doesn’t seem a little whacked out.

Sincerely,

Spooky Sean

UNK SEZ:: Thanks Spooky Sean! Kids, make sure you go and check out Sean’s fortress of awesome-tude SPOOKY SEAN’S SINFUL BLOGGERY!

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Tags: Seasons Beatings · Toy Chest · Traumafessions

Traumafessions :: Readers Grayson K. & Justin L. on Hasbro’s Monster Face

October 7th, 2010 · 9 Comments

KINDERTRAUMA!

I’m actually kind of surprised that this isn’t on your site already. One of my earliest memories (I think I was four) was being at my parents friend’s house who ran a daycare. For some reason I had to sleep in her older son’s room by myself. I’ll never forget being alone in that dark room and suddenly seeing a horrible, deformed life sized head looking right at me! The head was none other than Hasbro’s Monster Face. It was a kind of a Mr. Potato Head for older children and came with a bunch of different accessories to customize it’s heinousness.

This memory has slid through my brain off and on throughout my life, but it wasn’t until about a month ago that I tracked down what this horrible head in my memory was I wasn’t sure if I had even made up this memory until a few hours of internet searches revealed that this THING does exist… and it’s name is MONSTER FACE!

Grayson K.

When I was a kid, like all young boys, I loved disgusting and scary things. Hasbro knows its demographic and in 1992 released Monster Face. It was a mad scientist take on Mr. Potato Head. You could add body parts, bugs, etc. But one of the things I remember most was the container of snot that came with it. There was a spot on the back of the head to pour in the snot and it would ooze out of the nose.

This is one of the most haunting memories from my childhood. At night, seeing the face partially illuminated scared me to no end. I believed that the face would come to life in the middle of the night. I eventually became so frightened that I had to cover the face before I went to bed.

I remembered this terrifying toy after reading other similar stories on your blog. I googled for a while before finally coming across its name and soon found other recollections similar to my own. It’s good to know that I’m not alone in being tortured by this thing.

Justin L.

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Tags: Toy Chest · Traumafessions

NEW! From Kindertoy Inc. Carriers Happy Meals!

December 20th, 2009 · 3 Comments

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Tags: Toy Chest · Traum-mercial Break · Trauma Au Courant

Traumafessions :: Reader Thunderknight on Mr. Mouth & Mostly Ghostly

December 14th, 2009 · 19 Comments

Hi Kindertrauma-maniacs, I wanted to bring up a game that haunted me as a child.

Two actually.

One was the ever so scary Mr. Mouth game…a big yellow head with a flip top (Black Dahlia) mouth that you have to flip coins (I think) into. And those goofy eyes staring at you, geez.

The other game was Mostly Ghostly, a skeleton building game with a spinner made out of what else…skeletal arms I think. With each spin, you can choose another bone appendage to build your spooky skeleton.

Does anyone else remember these games…nightmares!

Your friend and fellow fiend,

Thunderknight

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Tags: Toy Chest · Traumafessions

Kindertrauma Toychest

December 8th, 2008 · 6 Comments

*via Boing Boing c/o Neatorama

*via Neatorama c/o weburbanist

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Tags: Toy Chest