kindertrauma

Traumafessions:: Anna on Phantom of the Paradise & more

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Where do I begin?

1) I remember watching Phantom of the Paradise on TV when I was about five or six years old. It left me slightly confused and creeped out. I actually love that movie now. It's funny and cheezy at the same time.

2) Carrie. Saw that when I was about seven years old. The music, the blood, the hand popping out of the grave at the end. My twin used to threaten that the "hand" was going to get me. Yep. She did that for at least five or six years.

3) Amityville Horror. I was afraid to look at crucifixes and rocking chairs for a looong time.

4) I remember the nanny committing suicide by hanging when I watched The Omen on TV. Again, I was only a child. (My older sisters watched these movies in front of us.)

5) The Exorcist. I think I was about eight years old. Part I & II. Just bits and pieces of the movie I remember watching. I was afraid to go up the stairs and look at the white door that led to the bathroom because the door reminded me of the girl's bedroom.

There's probably more but those movies above stick out of my mind the most.

Traumafession/Name That Trauma:: Whitney M. on an Above the Influence Dog & a Nasty Nanny

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Trauma to share:

Not sure how many people will remember the "Above the Influence" commercial with the dog, so here it is…

Right off the bat, your ear drums are assaulted with that creepy haunting music. Between the music and the strange animation, that commercial was the WORST. It was more effective at giving you the willies than making sure you don't try pot. I remember immediately switching the channel every time it aired just to avoid it. To this day I can't watch the full commercial. NOPE!

Trauma to Name:

The plot of the movie is basically: woman has baby, hires nanny, nanny wants baby for herself, woman finds out, nanny tries to kill woman. The woman had asthma, and a very distressing scene involved her having an asthma attack and she's trying desperately to reach her inhaler. Can't quite remember if it was an '80s or '90s movie, unfortunately. It was definitely a VHS. If you can name that trauma, that would be amazing. Then I can blacklist it and never watch it again!

Regards,

Whitney M.

UNK SEZ: Thanks Whitney! A crazy nanny plus a wonky inhaler can only add up to one thing, you must be thinking about the classic 1992 flick THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE!

Sunday Viewing :: The Last Shark (1981)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Here's a nice beginning of summer treat for y'all. It's like a delicious Italian water ice with a tasty shark fin sticking out of it! I've wanted to chomp on this one for a while but the copies I found were always too murky. Happily, this particular upload looks semi-sharp. Poor little adorable LAST SHARK (aka GREAT WHITE) played in theaters back in 1981- that is until it was yanked out due to UNIVERSAL STUDIOS being big babies and crying "copycat" while sucking on their greedy, humorless thumbs. I guess I do kinda see their point, LAST SHARK does indeed like to pretend it's JAWS but how many other films can that be said about? I guess the rub is that LAST SHARK's parroting hits uncomfortably close to the mark. Ironically enough, it reminds me a lot more of what I love about JAWS than either JAWS 3-D or JAWS 4: THE ORGIN OF HOAGIE. It's got all the primary colors, stark backdrops, super swank swim fashions and satisfying doses of mutilation that JAWS' crustier later entries sorely lack (not that I don't have affection for those dummies too).

Plus this movie is amiable enough not to tease. The giant shark here doesn't coquettishly bat its shark eyelashes from behind a wave; it gets all up in your grill Italian-style like it's inventing the selfie (at least near the end). Importantly, the creature's scene chewing talents are exactly zero match for our born for this kinda thing hero VIC MORROW. Obviously UNIVERSAL was just jealous! How else can you explain the fact that those sue happy vestiges of originality went and swiped this film's explosive climax and used it (and the shark's inexplicable roar) in their insane 3-D sequel? Of course this also swam is no JAWS (duh) but it's the only shark movie I'm aware of that has a line the likes of, "One thing's for sure, it wasn't a floatin' chainsaw." Yum!

NOTE: Allow me to add too that unlike any official JAWS film, this flick has a killer opening theme song! Even if you don't watch the movie listen to the groovy tune below! It will make you happy for approximately 24 hours…

NOTE 2: Hey look! The hand on the teaser poster is the same hand from the MORTUARY ad (not to mention THIS book cover). Silly hand, stop getting into so many dangerous predicaments! It's your own fault, hand!

What's My Jaws? Funhouse

Posted on By unkle lancifer

All of these folks belong in a JAWS movie. There are three individuals from each! Can you identity who belong to JAWS, JAWS 2, JAWS 3-D or JAWS 4: THE REVENGE OF ELLEN BRODY?

Great Moments in Kindertrauma History:: Gallery 1

Posted on By unkle lancifer


Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)


Poltergeist (1982)


Salem's Lot (1979)


Trilogy of Terror (1975)


Return to Oz (1985)


It (1990)


Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968)


Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)


E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)


Bambi (1942)

Name That Trauma:: Enzo S. on a Mental Patient's Killer Dolls & an Electric-Centric Psycho

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Howdy,

Two friends recently challenged me to identify two different horror movies that they saw ages ago as kids and God damn, I was completely stumped. Any chance you fine folks can crack these mysteries? All I've got to work with is some scraps of information:

* The first horror movie would have been an eighties flick available as a VHS rental. The story featured a crazed mental patient who built lots of killer dolls. The dolls were made of flesh-colored clay or plastic (like Barbie and Ken) and one of them was armed with a scalpel. The dolls were done through stop-motion animation.

* The second horror movie would have been a late eighties/early nineties VHS title. The plot featured a serial killer who could either turn himself into electricity or possess machines (or both). The movie featured a scene in which the killer hides inside of a light bulb.

Thanks!

Enzo S.

UNK SEZ: Thank you for writing in, Enzo! I hope I have your answers!

The first film you mentioned is probably the Amicus anthology ASYLUM. It's from 1972 but had a theatrical rerelease in the states in the early eighties as HOUSE OF CRAZIES. There were at least two VHS editions, one used the original poster art and the "ASYLUM" title and the other had a more modern look and went by ASYLUM: "The House of Crazies".

ASYLUM's tales are all based on stories by ROBERT BLOCK. The one your friend should be interested in is called "Mannikins of Horror," it very much fits your pal's description. Here it is on YouTube…

This very same story though was used for an episode of the horror series MONSTERS so that could very well be what they are thinking of too. Luckily that also is on YouTube…

The second film you mentioned, I would think is WES CRAVEN's SHOCKER from 1989. That definitely involves a killer who has electric-centric powers. I don't remember him hiding inside a light bulb but I wouldn't put it past the guy. That one seems almost too easy to be correct so if any of our readers know of any other titles that fit the description, please let us know! Hmmmm, wait a minute, I suppose 1993's GHOST IN THE MACHINE might fit just as well… Here are both trailers just in case…

Sunday Viewing:: Encounter with the Unknown (1973)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Today is the day for ENCOUNTER WITH THE UNKNOWN. I have no excuse for not watching this regional anthology sooner as it has been creeping around these pages for some time. Our buddy Crafty Pants Carol included it in her "It's a Horror to Know You" and "Creepy Lady Faces" posts and it has been the sought after answer in Name That Trauma's from as far back as Bigwig's in 2010 and as recent as Steve Q's from earlier this week. What was I waiting for, a written invitation? And so watch it I did and now here I am all in your face pressuring you to follow suit…

Narrated by the legendary ROD SERLING, this TWILIGHT ZONE inspired grab-bag of supernatural yarns is admittedly tame by standards of both today and yesteryear though that doesn't necessarily curb its ability to offer a few chills. Anyone who grew up in the seventies is likely to get at least a nostalgic buzz from the film's overall eerie vibe. I myself felt right at home with this flick or more specifically, right at home in my backyard, in a tent, at the age of twelve, holding a flashlight in my shaky hand. In other words you could probably knit this together with faves THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK and SCREAMS OF A WINTER NIGHT into one big five hour long scarf of a movie and I doubt anyone would notice the seams.

Oh sure, its flawed up the wazoo, it shamelessly pads its running time by showing the same scenes over and over again but you're either charmed by such things or you wouldn't be watching it in the first place. I believe the movie's persistence in showing up time and again around these parts is proof enough of its effectiveness. It may be shoddy and makeshift but there's something spooky enough going on here to make it sticky. Maybe its pure nostalgia, I could almost hear the theme to "IN SEARCH OF…" while I watched and that's good enough for me. You won't believe any of these "true stories" but you'll be reminded of when you might have.

ENCOUNTER was directed by HARRY THOMASON who has several semi-forgotten Arkansas –set drive-in spookers under his belt (REVENGE OF BIGFOOT, SO SAD ABOUT GLORIA, THE DAY IT CAME TO EARTH) and remarkably went on to great television success as a producer, director and writer (THE FALL GUY, DESIGNING WOMEN, and not so much with EMERIL) and a prolific partnership with his wife LINDA BLOODWORTH THOMASON. Believe it or not, 20 years after the release of ENCOUNTER, THOMASON would be all kinds of chummy with the President of the United States Bill Clinton and even testifying on his behalf before the Grand Jury during the Lewinsky scandal. Who'da thunk?