Wrong Turn 3: Left For Dead
2003's WRONG TURN may have not set the world on fire, but for many horror fans it was a welcome return to grittier, gorier terrain after years of clean cut thrills. Mere months after it exited theaters, the TEXAS CHAINSAW reboot would sweep in to gather all the glory, but for those fortunate enough to catch it during its poorly advertised run, WRONG TURN was the first sign that the hills were no longer alive with the sound of muzak. Home video caught stragglers up to speed and by the time WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END was delivered in 2007, a welcoming audience was waiting for a second course.
What horror fans could not possibly be prepared for was the fact that WT2, a straight to DVD venture starring HENRY ROLLINS and involving a phony reality show was (holy crap) actually pretty awesome. Whatever drop in quality there may have been from the first film was made up for with shear ingenuity, buckets of blood and a too rare awareness of what makes a horror film fun. Suddenly from a theatrical film that barely made a dent, it looked like a worthwhile series could be forming…
Well, there's a bit of a roadblock now in the WRONG TURN franchise and it's called WRONG TURN 3: LEFT FOR DEAD. Unless it was solely created to point out just how rare a treat PART 2 was, PART 3 of WRONG TURN fails wildly. After a lively opening scene that had me wishing that those handling the reigns of the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise were watching and taking notes, it's pretty much a downhill downer whose mantra seems to be, "Less, less, less!" Let me tell ya' something DECLAN O'BRIEN, director of WRONG TURN 3, if you can't keep yours truly's attention with a bus load of burly escaped convicts then there's more than one mentally handicapped mutant in them there woods (the other would be you). Geez, if I have to see another movie where constant bickering and bellyaching passes as dialogue, I'm going to throw my television set out the window. What am I watching here, THIRTYSOMETHING? (Actually Hope and Michael Steadman could have beat the crap all of the "hardened" criminals featured in WT3)
Whatever your fears may be of renting a direct to DVD sequel, they are all fully realized here. The writing is snorable, the acting is mostly horrible (main guys TOM FREDERIC & TOM McKAY are decent enough even when forced to deliver a regrettable epilogue) and the special effects, which a film like this could have ridden on, look outlandishly amateurish and hobbled by CGI. Most mind blowing of all is a reliance on what looks like ancient blue screen for almost all of the shots involving a moving vehicle. Seriously I haven't seen anything this bad since Granny rode on top of the car in THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES.
This could be a worthwhile rental if you are looking for something to rip to shreds with your friends and have a desire to throw emptied beer cans at the screen but, as a follow-up to the first two films, it's a bit of an embarrassment and a definite wrong turn in an otherwise promising series. Poor "Three Fingers," you deserve more!
Traumafessions :: Reader Theresa G. on The Fugitive
For years I suffered with the same recurring nightmare. I couldn't figure it out, didn't understand what it could have meant. Years later, as an adult, I told one of my sisters about it.
It was dusk and I was running, someone was chasing me and I was so scared. I could see it even as I explained it. The man chasing me had one arm and he was chasing me through an amusement park.
My sister laughed and told me that was from the show THE FUGITIVE.
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Traumafessions :: Reader Smidget on Phantasm
I was so scared of this movie because of commercials that I never saw it….the commercials scared the heck out of me as a kid where my brother would tease me undyingly about it even though we'd never seen the movie!
Now, I watched it today.
Yawn.
To me it's SO SO STRANGE how things can be SO SCARY to you one time of your life and a joke another. Clearly the whole "Tall Man" thing was spooky…but that metal ball that chases people, that one was what got me in my youth. Of course, the final scene is a good shocker….reminiscent of FREDDY KRUEGER's moves which of course CAME AFTER…..all in all it's a '70s classic with tempera paint for blood in two colors, yellow and red.
UNK SEZ: Funny you should mention "The Tall Man", it's his 30th Birthday!
Name That Trauma :: Reader Gary W. on a Wheelchair-Bound Man Whipped by a Computer
Thanks to Kindertrauma, I've managed to name nearly all my childhood T.V./film traumas. I only had two more to solve, but I just found out that one was the ultra-tasteless THE AURORA ENCOUNTER (yeah, great use of a prematurely aging child as an 'alien'), which leaves just one I need to name – it was a movie I saw late night at a family get-together in which a man was left wheelchair-bound after a car accident and had some kind of computer or robot looking after him. I think the computer played up, causing him some considerable troubles. I also remember a severed head of a woman in what I think was a washing machine. It screened in the U.K. circa 1990, but seemed to be from the '80s. I recall it being a DEMON SEED style affair. All help would be very welcome. Cheers!
Good to see the old MOOMINS show mentioned with regards to The Groke, but as a youngster, I think The Hobgoblin was even scarier. Around 40 seconds into this episode, as he flies through space, the sights and sounds gave me nightmares for weeks…
Where The Wild Things Are
I love horror movies! That's why when I went to the movies this past Friday I skipped past the theater marquee that read THE STEPFATHER and planted my Sour Patch Kid chompin' ass down to see WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE in the theater next door! I might have given THE STEPFATHER a chance except for the fact that I accidentally brought a gun with me and I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to resist blowing my brains out as soon as the movie started. Also, I'm sure everyone is familiar with my motto, "Never judge a movie until you've seen it…unless the director of that movie is the guy responsible for the remake of PROM NIGHT." Besides WILD THINGS looked like tons of fuzzy fun and, at least once a year, I like to feel happiness.
Did I get my fun? Yep, but I also got this super moving experience I won't soon forget. How's come this movie that stars a bunch of monsters seems to deliver more human emotion than most non-monster starring movies I know? I sure hope my fellow moviegoers saw me blowing my nose into my hoodie sleeve when the credits were rolling because that is my new way of saying giant thumbs up!
You can probably tell from the trailer that, thankfully, WILD THINGS was not turned into a homogenized hand holder that teaches you to be all in love with yourself and that winning is about believing and that dreaming is about winning and hooray for you because you win! Strangely it's not even all, "Hey, you're really ugly, but that makes you different and the world would be really boring if everyone was good looking, so thanks for not boring us ugly"!
WILD THINGS is not only unafraid to accurately depict the troubling and confusing loneliness that sometimes invades childhood, but also the complicated idiosyncratic nature of human (and monster) relationships that causes that loneliness. Really, doesn't it just suck that needing somebody is exactly the type of thing that will make you act up (go wild) and scare that somebody away? WILD THINGS also had me asking myself the most important life question of all: "Why can't CATHERINE O'HARA star in everything?"
Whoever's idea it was to hire SPIKE JONZE to direct this movie needs to wear a gold crown on their head. Here is a place we have never gone before and the creatures, a combination of practical effects with a light gloss of CGI, come off as superbly convincing. The voice work is nearly too good be true with the likes of my hero LAUREN AMBROSE, super stud FOREST WHITAKER and snuggle bunny JAMES GANDOLFINI lending tonsil. MAX RECORDS, as Max, gets a "You're not annoying" sticker and don't get me started on the mom I'd never run away from…CATHERINE KEENER.
Some folks might be off put by the movie's mellow drifty attitude, but I found it kind of relief not to be yanked around from scene to scene by the lapels. There is so much texture and detail here that future visits are unavoidable. If you are too poor to afford a down comforter, go see this movie instead. It's basically the same thing.
Q: Will kids be entertained?
A: Only the ones worth keeping.
Parents, heed my word, take all your children to see this and the ones that don't like it or fall asleep, just leave in the theater; you don't want those ones. I'm so keen on this flick I'm even going to throw out a Bloody Disgusting inspired blurb! "It's the hairiest movie of all time!"
I gotta go now, MUMMY 3 (TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR) is on HBO and they just called forth the Yeti!
