kindertrauma

Traumafessions :: Reader Ravyn on 1970s P.S.A.s

Posted on By aunt john

When I was five, The American Heart Society (Or maybe it was the Cancer Society?) used to run these creepy animated commercials about taking care of your lungs and heart. One was about not smoking cigarettes while shoveling snow (the little cartoon man had over 9000 crammed in his mouth to illustrate, and I think he died) and another listed a bunch of orders about staying healthy: "Don't smoke! Eat right! Keep in shape!" sung in this scary deep voice. Then in the same ad was a silhouette of a human figure, then a bright red heart appeared in its chest, and the figure keels over dead! That used to terrify the crap out of me! Mostly because even at that age, I knew my dad had a stressful job and worked hard and he smoked a lot, too, and I was so afraid I'd lose him…just like the commercials said!

I've searched for these old ads on Youtube but to no avail. I want to see if they still freak me out almost forty years later. Could someone else find them?

UNK SEZ: Ravyn, I didn't have any better luck than you did trying to track down those anti-smoking commercials you mentioned! I did however stumble across this one that stars the late YUL BRYNNER which used to haunt the hell out of me. I bet a lot of smokers put out their butts when this ad aired!

Coraline

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hello, I wish to tell you about 2009's childhood horror: CORALINE. This movie is messed up! It looks cute, it's in stopmotion for crying out loud! BUT…it's one scary movie! It had scenes in it where two ladies are twisted together and where a man becomes a melty monster! And guess what? It's in 3-D too! In one scene, it is shown that Ms. Forcible and Ms. Spink STUFF thier Scottie dogs when they die. and that's not even the part where the other mother turns into a spider witch. Finally…the hand. it gets cut off and still follows Coraline around! PLEASE PUT THIS ON YOUR SITE!

— Squirt00

UNK SEZ: Thanks Squirt00 for giving us the heads up on the sure to be future traumatizer CORALINE! We've heard from several sources (including our pal Rat Saw God) that this flick is primo Kindertrauma material. I did get a chance to see it recently (in 3-D no less!) and although I'm a little late on commenting about it, I agree with you entirely. I'm sure CORALINE will give kids plenty of stuff to worry about before they go to bed for many years to come!

CORALINE was, of course, directed by HENRY SELICK who was also responsible for the creeped out classics THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS and JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH. It's based on a book by NEIL GAIMAN that tells the tale of a young girl who finds a secret passageway to an alternative universe. At first things seem pretty perfect in the mirror world until she discovers the price of perfection involves sewing buttons on to her peepers! It's all very spooky and weird in the best way possible and, as per usual with SENNICK's work with stop motion animation, the artistry on display is without question. CORALINE's evil alternative "Other Mom" (voiced by TERI HATCHER) is a truly kindertraumatizing sight to behold once she shows her true colors.

My personal favorite aspect of CORALINE though is the fact that super cool JOHN CARPENTER alum KEITH DAVID (Childs from THE THING, Frank from THEY LIVE) lends his voice to an all knowing slinky black cat. If that fact doesn't get folks renting this baby as soon as it hits DVD than I don't know what will!

The Children (2008)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Effective killer kid movies are hard to come by. Their shock value has diminished severely since the days of THE BAD SEED and truth be told, few movies are willing to take the sub-genre to the extremes needed to be successful. One false move by the director and you're looking at a campy joke. One false line reading by a kid actor and you've permanently lost your audience. 2008's THE CHILDREN (not to be confused with the unintentionally hilarious shocker from 1980) is a film by director TOM SHANKLAND that routinely impresses by not shying away from the disturbing nature of its subject matter.

Taking place over a snowy Christmas holiday two families meet for seasonal festivities. Tension is patiently doled out as we slowly find that the children of these families are beginning to act more and more feral due to an unnamed virus. The madness that blankets the children is of the cold and icy variety and the film highlights this visually with its grey bleakness. As we progress the general static atmosphere becomes more and more frequently punctured by migraine inducing blasts of vivid imagery, harsh primary colors and shrill sound. In some instances these frenzied collisions of tone are annoying as hell, but they also provide a pitch perfect arena that could believably incubate domestic insanity.

There is a balancing act evident throughout the film's running time of which director SHANKLAND is dutifully aware. Most of us would like to believe if we were confronted by a homicidal child we could more than hold our own, but in THE CHILDREN confusion and chaos reign supreme. The adult victims are slow to the realization that their beloved offspring have gone batty and even upon realization, struggle to accept that they will have to use violence themselves in order to survive. A great deal of the film's success in building a believable groundwork for its action that is derived by keeping both the audience and the film's characters partially in the dark. As things escalate the parents' natural instinct to scapegoat rather than implicate their own children muddy the waters even further. Refreshingly, we are also presented with a teenage character who seems to be the sole heir to clarity when the dominoes begin to fall.

There is something about killer kid movies that will always strike the funny bone. Watching perfect little angels behaving badly is innately amusing. THE CHILDREN is smart enough to follow the lead of WHO CAN KILL A CHILD? by demanding that the audience think hard about when violence is necessary and allowing them to appreciate the parents' dilemma rather than dwell on heroics. The end result may not scare the crap out of you, but be prepared for plenty of creeps due to some severely haunting images and a couple of flinches thanks to some convincing gore. If nothing else, if you have ever wondered what it would be like if somebody made a killer kid flick and not only took its subject matter seriously, but didn't back down in fear of stepping on sensitive toes, you now have your answer.

Traumafessions :: Reader Apocalypsejunkie on The Cellar (Book)

Posted on By aunt john

When I was about 11 or 12 (which would've been in the early ‘80s) I got my hands on one of the nastiest pieces of horror fiction my eyes have ever been scorched with, The Cellar. It looked like just another "potboiler" horror paperback you could pick up at any drug store or used book store, and Satan knows I had already plowed through plenty of those in my misspent youth.

But oh no, this was different.

This book was brimming with graphic scenes of violent assault, violent rape, kidnapping, bestiality and sicko perversions. The pièce de résistance however, was toward the end, when the housekeeper of the 'beast house' was getting gang banged….willingly, by a pack of the snarling beasties. Not only that, she was, uh, shall we say… enjoying herself immensely.

My brief synopsis doesn't really do this piece of eye-frigging justice, but it scarred me if not for life, at least for puberty (I still watch and read horror, go figure).

Imagine my horror when I'm cruising the Fantastic Fiction website and run up upon this very book. And not only that, it was a whole series of books. Of course I'm going to read every single one I can get my hands on and probably anything else that sick little twist RICHARD LAYMON has written. If you've never partaken in the "Beast House" series, be warned it's not for the faint of heart, fragile of mind or weak of stomach. Urp.

Traumafessions :: Reader Shannon on The Vampire Tapes (Book)

Posted on By aunt john

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Initially, Shannon submitted this entry as a Name That Trauma!:

I've been looking for a book entitled 'Vampire Types' or 'The Vampire Type' but for the life of me can't remember the author's name, and I was hoping maybe you or one of your readers might know it. The book was published around the same time as 'The Vampire Tapestry', and the cover truly gave me horrible dreams when I was a little girl. It had a blue background and a very pale, cadaverous, black haired woman on the cover with a single, very large drop of blood running from one corner of her mouth. My mom borrowed the book from my uncle, and all the way home I was in terror because the book was in a paper grocery bag next to my leg.

Internet searches haven't even been helpful. I'd really appreciate it if anyone can tell me the name of the author.

P.S. – I love your site – it brings back so many memories!

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Thanks to the power of our procrastination, Shannon rolled up her own sleeves and was able to track down not only the name of the book, but also a picture to share with the rest of the class:

After I contacted you last night my son found the book. I had the title wrong – it's 'The Vampire Tapes' (I thought it was 'Types'). We located a copy online. Oddly, it's a bit different from the image I remember but I figure that's because I was so young and terrified of it.

Kinder-Link :: The Haunted Closet

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I stumbled across a great site the other day that I would love to direct you to. It's called THE HAUNTED CLOSET and I think you guys will really dig it, I know I do. In the closet you'll find reviews for trauma classics like BURNT OFFERINGS, TRILOGY OF TERROR and both WATERSHIP DOWN and THE PLAGUE DOGS. There are spotlights on episodes of the horror series THE DARKROOM and there is even a look at Aunt John's most favorite episode of LITTLE HOUSE! You'll discover detailed examinations of such obscurities as an animated version of POE's TELL-TALE HEART from 1953 and a craptastic DRACULA video game from the eighties. There are tons of scary kid's books, JAWS 3-D cards, Halloween Chick Tracts and tons and tons of more creepy nostalgia. I myself found an amazing haunted house puzzle that I used to own as a kid! (Check it out HERE). THE HAUNTED CLOSET is great fun to dig through and is sure to unlodge more than a few memories for anyone who was a twisted kid. Do yourself a favor and check it out HERE!

Name That Trauma :: Reader Will S. on Eye-Popping Pop

Posted on By aunt john

I'm loving your site!

I would have seen this in the early '80s on public T.V., Philadelphia area — I think they were called "Creature Features" on Saturday afternoons (the intro graphic to the feature was a hand coming out of a grave, very low-budget).

I remember only one image from the movie: An old man sits slumped in a chair when suddenly his eye pops out, and hangs by "a string" on his shirt. I remember routinely begging my mom to let me watch horror movies, and always getting, "No." This time I sneakily turned it on. After seeing this scene, I wound up running in the other room, burying my face in my hands, and screaming NO. Now that's some trauma.

I imagine it is just random grindcore crap from the '70s. It was very grainy/yellow. For twenty-five years I have wanted to know what it is.

Runner-up traumas involve TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE (I can recite the intro from memory even today).

Thanks,

Will

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Will, the program you are thinking of was called CREATURE DOUBLE FEATURE with the pan in on the picture of the haunted house with the rubber-gloved monster hand popping out of a grave. The title of the movie though, I do not know. If anyone does, please leave a comment or send us an email.

To read & see more by Will be sure to check A Journey Round My Skull!

Cold Prey (Fritt Vilt)

Posted on By unkle lancifer


Howdy Kindertrauma readers, it's your Unkle Lancifer here writing to you from the Lone Star State where I am visiting my folks. By the time this is posted I will probably be back at Kindertrauma Castle, but I just had to write to you about a couple things. First of all, I miss you guys and apparently believe that you all live inside specifically MY computer and not my mother's lap top from which I write to you now. Weird huh? Also, I've been digging up in my parent's attic and I found a bunch of great old horror paraphernalia that I hope to drag back and share with you soon. The real reason I'm writing to you now though, at exactly 2:13 in the morning is because I just finished a super great movie that I'm really excited about and can you believe my dear mother was the one to find it?

There we were at the local hemorrhaging video store and I was grabbing just about every horror flick I could get my paws on and my mom hands me something called COLD PREY. Now the cover of the DVD is awful (Anchor Bay you should know better!) but the back sounded intriguing and since it was a snowbound horror flick, which I have a fondness for, I decided to give it a whirl and guess what…I LOVE COLD PREY!

Now the film is a couple years old (2006) and forgive me if I am totally out of the loop, but how did this sucker get past me? I just checked it out on imdb and it seems that its hype was pretty big, but truly I had never heard of this one or it just didn't stick if I had. Maybe I've walked past the DVD a million times and just ignored it because, like I said, the cover is stink-o.

COLD PREY is from Norway and the set up is by the book classic slasher with a group of groovy kids getting stranded and being hunted down by a crazed maniac. The beauty part is that it is done so well. It's wonderfully shot and the location, an isolated ski lodge surrounded by post card snowscapes, is incredible. Here's a thing too, I loved all the actors in it. They're not the Hollywood type that look like they have been dipped in caramel and nursed on latte bottles, they're all normalish and I wouldn't run away from them if I saw them in the street. The female lead simply ruled. She ran the gambit from breaking down emotionally to mustering up the chutzpa without ever being over the top infallible or cartoon Amazon. It's seriously suspenseful too. There is little gore but you feel the damage the characters endure thanks to the knowing hand of the director. Be warned though it is pretty formulaic but much like the formula of nestle quick plus milk, the end result is hooray for you!

If you are not a slasher fan then COLD PREY probably will not do much to convert you, but if you are I think that it's a must see flick. I for one am going to buy a copy as soon as possible. Even though Anchor Bay scratched on the cover art they do supply plenty of yummy extras like a making of doc, music vids and trailers/T.V. spots (as is their way). I know that my aversion to snarking it up all over the place may have some of you thinking that I'll roll over for any flick that scratches my belly, but trust me,COLD PREY is neo slasher heaven.

O.K. I guess that will do for now, sorry I didn't look up the director's or actors names on imdb (D.I.Y.S.), but like I said it's late at night and I just wanted to drop you guys this dose of enthusiasm before it waned. Now I'm off to get some shut eye or maybe raid the fridge (my parents love Super Pretzels too, can you believe it?)

Unk L

ALSO: So sadly out of it am I, that I just found out that a sequel to COLD PREY was released in 2008. Man, who knew you could actually miss out on stuff by living in the past?

Traumafessions :: Reader Ally G. on Logos

Posted on By aunt john

Here is a traumafession of mine. When I was growing up the old TRISTAR, STEPHEN J. CANNELL and UNIVERSAL logos used to scare the living daylights out of me!

I used to think that the TRISTAR horse would charge towards me.

I hated the loud music that came with the S.J.C. logo so I'd always hide during the end credits of THE A-TEAM.

And that UNIVERSAL logo just looked really spooky with all that mist surrounding it! I'm fine with the current COLOMBIA/TRISTAR logo and the current UNIVERSAL logo – it's the old ones that give me the creeps. I still have to skip through them watching UNIVERSAL SOLDIER and DUEL!

UNK SEZ: Don't worry Ally G., you're not ALONE!