kindertrauma

The Bermuda Depths

Posted on By unkle lancifer

How does one go about trying to describe the supernatural allure of THE BERMUDA DEPTHS, a 1978 made-for-television film that has cast a lingering hypnotic spell upon anyone fortuitous enough to stumble across it? (Is it too much to suggest that the secret reason for the existence of the Internet itself is so that these chosen people could track down a bootleg copy of their gospel?) This is a film that centers on a giant turtle folks, conventional wisdom would tell you that all recognitions would paint it as a camp classic or at least a guilty pleasure by now, but instead its followers, old and new, hold this oddity closely and sincerely to their hearts like a priceless family heirloom.

Part of the reason may be because THE BERMUDA DEPTHS defies categorization. Actually it may be more accurate to say that there is no genre that it does not embrace at one point or another, horror, fantasy, and action all weaved together with an undeniable leaning toward tragic romance and yes, I'm still talking about a movie involving a giant turtle. Some who have experienced this lush fable in their youth admit to confusing their memories of it with a childhood dream and it's not difficult to understand why. The soundtrack alone mystifies. Prepare to have it rustling about your brain like a hermit crab trapped in a tide pool for days after viewing.

The movie itself begins as a dizzy stumble between dream, reality and the inchoate memories of youth. Magnus (LEIGH McCLOSKEY of ARGENTO'S INFERNO) is recalling a first love, a little girl named Jennie Haniver he used to play with on the beach. One day the two find a turtle egg. They nurture the newborn into semi adulthood and send it off to sea but not before Magnus etches his feelings upon it's shell carving "M + J" within a heart. Reciprocating these thoughts, Jennie crafts a necklace from coral and presents it to Magnus. That night a storm rages and an unseen beast attacks and makes off with Magnus' scientist father leaving their ocean adjacent cliff-top home a REBECCA-like Manderlay shambles.

Now an adult Magnus has returned to his childhood home and is still unclear about what had befallen his father. He keeps coming across a mysterious woman (a surprisingly ethereal CONNIE SELLECA) who he slowly begins to realize is the girl from his youth. Problem is he's also informed that the name Jennie Haniver belongs to that of a local legend, a woman who sold her soul in exchange for eternal life during a storm at sea. It is said that she can appear as either an adult or a child, and that all those that she presents herself to are doomed to drown. Meanwhile, another childhood buddy (CARL WEATHERS) and an acquaintance of Magnus' father's (BURL IVES) are currently getting all kinds of JAWS-obsessed about some giant turtle foot prints they discovered in the sand.

Sounds crazy, I know, but somehow it all comes together like some ancient myth written in the stars. This is a story that could touch anyone at any age. Adults will recognize the bittersweet melancholia of an impossible love. Teenagers get a crashing helicopter and a hot babe with glowing eyes and kids, well kids get that cute giant turtle I was talking about. Grab the whole family, we've got a lost classic on our hands! Learning that DEPTHS was penned by ARTHUR RANKIN, JR. of RANKIN AND BASS (THE YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS) fame first seems astonishing and then absolutely appropriate.

Often when we return to beloved films of our youth we are disappointed and shocked by what we once held in such high regard. Sometimes we may even be left wondering to ourselves, "What was I thinking back then?" But if you watch THE BERMUDA DEPTHS as an adult and fail to be swept away by its poetic beauty and lazy hammock swing charms maybe the question you should be asking yourself is, "What is wrong with me RIGHT NOW?"

NOTE: I don't know how long it will last, but currently THE BERMUDA DEPTHS can be viewed on God's gift to obsessive nerds Youtube (Part 1 is HERE, follow it to the rest). If you have any kind of free time at all today, I suggest you uncross your arms, relax and let it take you out to sea.

Traumafessions :: Reader Mike on Scary Stories 3

Posted on By aunt john

I remember reading the SCARY STORIES series when I was a kid. The stories would fascinate me while the imagery was…imaginative is the best word that comes to mind. There was one picture above all others that disturbed me and that could be found in SCARY STORIES 3: MORE TALES TO CHILL YOUR BONES. I am not certain but I believe the story is titled "The Room." All I have based on it was that it came right after the story about the girl that had been raised by wolves.

I remember that I was reading it in third grade (I had to be eight) and I refused to let my friend have it because the stories themselves were captivating. When I turned to the next page though and the slanted eyes and crooked smile of the woman caught my attention my heart began pounding and I quickly closed it; passing the book over to my friend with a shaky voice.

It took me years to be able to face my fear and look back at the illustration and even now I have a troubling time staring at it for too long. Believe me though that it's a memory that's never faded.

UNK SEZ: Crooked smile? Are you thinking of this story from SCARY STORIES 3 entitled "The Dream"?….

Name That Trauma :: Reader Barry B. on an Unknown Halloween Special

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I remember a Halloween cartoon where this creepy old guy sends a group of children around the world to learn the history of Halloween, and in the mean time, one of them dies or was already dead… something… but each of the kids agrees to die a year early to bring their friend back. I remember evaluating all of my friends, and still base their worth on how many years of life I would give up to save them.

Any clue on this one?

UNK: Barry, add this to the long list of "Name That Trauma"s that I have absolutely no clue about. Let's just put this one up the flag pole and see if any of our readers salute! If anyone out there remembers this Halloween special, help poor Barry out and leave a comment or send us an email!

UPDATE: Name That Trauma SOLVED! Barry confirmed that commenter ElderMarsh is correct with THE HALLOWEEN TREE (featuring the voice-over talents of Mr. LEONARD NIMOY).

Here's PART 1:

Watch: PART 2 | PART 3.

Thanks again to ElderMarsh!

Traumafessions :: Kinderpal Mickster on BBC's Count Dracula (1977)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

This particular trauma I suppressed from my memory until I was a teenager. I decided to read Dracula during my junior year of high school because of my love for vampire lore. While reading I came to the part where Dracula gives the three vampire women, a baby to feed on. Suddenly, I had a flashback of witnessing this scene being played out in a movie. For years, I tried to figure out what version I viewed. I knew it had aired on PBS, and I suspect that is the reason why my parents thought that it would be okay for me to watch. Anyway, I started thinking about the origin of this trauma last year and finally pinpointed the source. It is COUNT DRACULA made by the BBC in 1977 and starring LOUIS JOURDAN. Through further investigation, I determined that I must have seen the first broadcast on PBS Great Performances (I believe in 1978) because subsequent broadcasts cut the scene with the three vampire women feeding on the baby. When I received the DVD from Netflix, my memory was confirmed. I have watched many versions of Dracula over the years, but this one is by far the closest adaptation on film. If you are a fan of Dracula, I highly recommend checking it out. However, I do not recommend allowing a seven-year-old child to watch. This scene so shocked and disturbed my young mind that it was blocked from my memory for ten years.

Please enjoy viewing the horrifying scene…

Traumafessions :: Reader NiNi on "They Thirst" Book Cover

Posted on By aunt john

Hey, this is cheaper than therapy! While I'm thinking about traumas from the ‘80s, here's another horror that shaped my youthful psyche: the first-edition cover of ROBERT R. McCAMMON's THEY THIRST. Horror novels were even more common than horror movies in our household, and this book lay on the coffee table for quite some time to scar my kindergarten-era mind.

The book itself? Not especially scary. But the cover was the stuff of ‘80s airbrushed nightmares! The dead black pits of the eyes in the skull-like face… the tiny LATOYA JACKSON nose… and worst of all, the bloody red lips and needle teeth of that over-sized mouth. Every time I saw that damned book, I would discreetly flip it over so I wouldn't have to see it.

Nowadays, the illustration kind of reminds me of an anglerfish in drag, or the misbegotten lovechild of JAWS and THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW. But the 5-year-old inside me remembers the fear of stumbling across this image in the darkened living room on my way to that nighttime glass of water…

Name That Trauma :: Reader Molly T. on NOT Salem's Lot & Maybe NOT Mr. Boogedy

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Great site! I grew up being fascinated by horror flicks – when my parents would take me to the movie rental store, rather than heading for the "kiddie" movies, I'd head right for the STEPHEN KING and gore. With all those years of scaring myself to tears, it's a wonder I cannot figure out where this particular scene came from:

There is a vampire of some sort, floating in a cloud-like mist, next to a boy's bedroom. Now before you say this is SALEM'S LOT, I can assure you that this boy did NOT open the window to let the vampire in. Rather, he broke a cross off of a (Lego) set that was near the window and used it to try to ward off the vampire.

Where in the world did this come from?

I have another scene in my head, which I thought was from the movie MR. BOOGEDY, but maybe it's not. I thought it was from that movie because I seem to remember a sort of "Boogie man" (who maybe had a hole in the side of his head?), standing in a family's living room, shooting some sort of powers out of his hands and making things go berserk – one thing in particular was, he made a vacuum cleaner "blow up" like a balloon and float to the ceiling, with the little boy holding onto it, not being able to get down.

Any ideas on this one?

UNK SEZ: A Lego crucifix you say? I don't recall seeing that in a movie, but it's a great tip none the less. Maybe one of readers can recall such a thing. As for the second film you mentioned, I think you actually ARE thinking of MR. BOOGEDY, there is a vacuum present in that movie's last scene (MR. B. ends up sucked inside it) and a kid does float to the ceiling at one point and has to be yanked down. It doesn't look to me that it is the vacuum cleaner that begins to levitate, but check out the climax of MR. BOOGEDY below and see if it looks at all familiar:

If anyone knows the answer to the first one, please leave a comment or shoot us an e-mail.