kindertrauma

Traumafessions :: Reader Nat on Jaws 3(D)

Posted on By aunt john

Another terrifying childhood memory just came to me. (I say "just" with the implication that it came to me hours ago, and I've just now crawled back out from under my desk). It's from… (wait for it)… JAWS 3.   I'm sure everyone has their traumatic JAWS moments, and I hope I find I'm not alone in being affected by the third chapter in the saga. Especially considering that the scene in question is one of the most laughable scenes ever filmed. Maybe it's like SUPERMAN III: JAWS 3(D) is the cinematic equivalent of a steaming cup of liquid poo, but it came out at the right time for many of our generation, and was played frequently enough on cable as to be caught out of context and to stick in our stupid little minds. 'Cause looking at it now, this movie is b-a-d, craptastic, but when I was young and impressionable, this following scene was responsible for many moments of terror. Any time I was in the pool, this is what would flash in my mind:

Awful, right? But, there's something so eerie and unsettling about it, too. The way the shark just kinda glides towards you–not moving, just approaching. Almost like the gentlemen in that BUFFY episode, "Hush." It's so calm and malevolent and unnatural that it almost approaches the level of high art: an animal behaving in a very mechanical, false, alien way. (And I'm sure that's what the filmmakers were going for. I mean, they had LOU GOSSETT, JR., after all, so it's already practically an art flick.) Every time I was in a body of water, I would picture that shark slowly getting closer, and I could struggle and swim as fast as I could, but it would just. Eventually. Get. There.

Earlier: Nat's not-so-fond memories of the VHS Cover of Fright Night and "Maneater" by Hall & Oates.

Name That Trauma :: Reader Wings on Freaky Cat-Loving Dude in a Castle

Posted on By aunt john

Here's one I have had lurking in the recesses of my mind, always creeping me out. NO ONE, not even my movie-loving, quote-spouting brother has been able to place this flick.

I remember going to the drive-in as a kid (we went in the summer on weekends). This would have been in the 2nd half of the 70s or very early 80s. The movie bit that is stuck in my head involves some guy, a hermit or something, who lives alone in some far-off place, like an abandoned castle or something. Some young guy goes to see him or stumbles upon him, and they old guy there has dozens and dozens, if not hundreds of cats living in and around his old place.

That's it. That is the nugget that has haunted my mind all these years. What was the freaky cat-loving dude DOING all alone out there? Why was the kid going to see him?

Help me!

Aunt John SEZ: Wings, what you have described sounds like a scene out of my day-to-day life with unrepentant cat fancier Unkle Lancifer and the fur ball covered floors of Kindertrauma Castle. Have you been peeking through our windows? That said, I am interested in knowing what this movie is… any guesses, dear readers?

UNK SEZ: Hold up there, not so fast A.J.. This sounds very much like a film that our beloved Tenebrous Kate reviewed a little while back called NIGHT OF A THOUSAND CATS! Wings do us a favor and check out Kate's awesome review HERE and let us know if that is not the elusive film you're hunting down. It sounds like a match to me! If it IS the correct film, than it just goes to prove my pet theory that everything a horror fan could possibly be searching for can usually be found at LOVE TRAIN FOR THE TENEBROUS EMPIRE!

Aunt John SEZ: NIGHT OF A THOUSAND CATS? Wait a minute, didn't I just see clip of that movie over at CARRIE WHITE BURNS IN HELL? Better check that out too!

STATUS: SOLVED! NIGHT OF A THOUSAND CATS (see comments)

Nightwing

Posted on By unkle lancifer

nightwing

Made and released at nearly the same time as '79s THE PROPHECY, the killer bat movie NIGHTWING shares many similarities with our favorite mutant bear flick. Riding the tail end of the nature-bites-back wave goaded by JAWS, both PROPHECY and NIGHTWING were directed by established directors, wore their long-winded environmental messages on their sleeves and questionably recruited up and coming swarthy Italian actors to represent the plight of the American Indian (ARMAND ASSANTE and NICK MANCUSO respectively).

NIGHTWING probably still holds the title as the best killer bat movie ever made, but that doesn't change the fact that it's fatally dry and about three times more talky then it needs to be. (Take it from me, I own the seriously uncompelling Fotonovel). The cast couldn't be better, MANCUSO is the sh*T, THE ISLAND's DAVID WARNER makes a far better scientist than a pirate, and have I mentioned my long standing adoration of KATHRYN (THE SENDER) HARROLD? The cinematography and the musical score by HENRI MANCINI are top notch as well, but there's no way around the fact that most of the flick is about as stagnant as a stalactite.

There is one scene that gives you a taste of what the film might have been and frankly it's almost too awesome to describe. Right smack in the middle of the film, surrounded by all that ponderous dialogue is NIGHTWING's crown jewel, a campfire attack to end all campfire attacks. The special effects may be a tad crappy by today's standards, but the set-up and surprisingly sadistic tone more than make up for it. Watching co-eds meet the business end of gardening equipment may be fun, but you have not lived until you have observed stuffy, prissy middle-agers running about pell-mell with bats chomping on them from head to foot. What's remarkably hilarious is just how cowardly the male campers are (keep an eye peeled for CHARLES HALLAHAN whose head will later sprout spider legs in J.C's THE THING), they leave one woman to fall into the actual fire pit and catch aflame, and the other one is refused access to the safety of a nearby van. When the poor woman seeks refuge under the vehicle, her husband nonchalantly drives over her head!

Two more scenes of this caliber of questionable taste and overall pandemonium would have made NIGHTWING an instant classic but alas, some people insist on taking the high road and it is we the audience who suffer. NIGHTWING (and the beloved PROPHECY to some extent) is a good example of trying to woo respectability at the cost of forgetting just who butters your bread. Let me tell ya' future monster movie makers, that Oscar is never going to be yours; do yourself (and your actual audience) a favor and spread on the blood.

indelible scenes

  • It may take place on a super fake soundstage but the campfire attack is gleefully brutal
  • Director HILLER squeezes some genuine suspence from the electrified cage scene
  • Sighting of seventies staple STROTHER MARTIN (SSSSSS)
  • Duran (MANCUSO) is visited by his dead grandfather who claims responsibility for the bats being summoned. Is this a hallucination or our these bats supernatural in origin?
  • Working against the clock our heroes venture into the bat's cave … be careful of the deadly ammonia pit!

    • nightwing

    Official Traumatizer :: Tim Curry

    Posted on By unkle lancifer

    Tim Curry

    I've said it before and I'll say it again, Kindertrauma readers know their horror. Reader sbd gave me a major head-slapping, "I could have had a V-8," moment when he remarked that Mr. TIM CURRY should be considered an official Traumatizer. CURRY not only perfectly embodied perhaps the scariest and most kinder-traumatizing television entity of all time as Pennywise the clown in the miniseries IT, but he also pretty much made a career out of playing people who you would not want to be left alone in a room with. (I'm well aware that there are many out there who would be delighted at just such a scenario, but this is neither the time or the place!) CURRY's portrayals of the demonic Lord of Darkness in LEGEND, the BERNADETTE PETERS withstanding opportunist flimflammer Rooster Hannigan in ANNIE and, perhaps most horrifying of all, the brain-frying, psychedelic sense-stomping songster Grand Wizard in THE WORST WITCH all serve to further underline sbd's cause. So here's to you TIM CURRY, this honor is well-earned and long overdue. You, my scene stealing, multi-talented friend, are one impossible to dispute Traumatizer!

    Traumafessions :: Reader Amanda on Stephen King's IT

    Posted on By aunt john

    When I was about six or so, I was playing in the living room and my brother started watching STEPHEN KING's IT– the miniseries starring TIM CURRY. I asked my brother if I should leave, and he said, "If you want to." I decided to stay, and watched through the opening bit alright, and then it showed a little girl playing while her mom goes inside the house. She then hears goofy laughter and sees a clown appearing behind flapping sheets while spooky music plays. The next scene showed her being loaded into an ambulance with a white sheet over her face. If you want more than a description, here's the scene:


    I don't know if the rest of the movie would have traumatized me, because I ran away. What I did afterwards or where I went escapes me. I'm not afraid of clowns, although to this day I still get a bit anxious every time I see TIM CURRY.


    Kinder-News :: Evil On Two Legs' "Childhood Horrors"

    Posted on By unkle lancifer


    I would be remiss if I were not to inform y'all of a recent post over at EVIL ON TWO LEGS entitled "Childhood Horrors." It's a superb list of grade "A" traumatizers that I think you will really enjoy, plus they were kind enough to mention ye ol' Kindertrauma as well! That kinda made my day and was sorta like a bloggy neighbor dropping off a surprise Bundt cake on account of they rule. While you're there, make sure you look around and and stay awhile, there's tons of great stuff to dig through and those guys really know their horror! Jump to the post HERE!

    Traumafessions :: Reader David on Prophecy

    Posted on By aunt john

    The year was 1979, my Dad was working in Atlanta, so my Mom and I spent the summer with him. A great time. One of the best summers I ever had. Lots of cartoons (first time I ever saw the RANKIN & BASS "King Kong" toon), Space Giants, 6 Flags, that DC Comics live action thing with the Justice League. I made friends with a kid in the next apartment, a friendship that ended abruptly when we argued over which was cooler, X Wings or Y Wings (I preferred the more rugged Y Wing). A great summer all told. Except for one thing…

    1979 was the year of PROPHECY.

    I was a Famous Monsters kid, I loved monsters. I grew up with THEM, TARANTULA, many HARRYHAUSEN films, the CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, PETER CUSHING, CHRISTOPHER LEE and HAMMER. GODZILLA was my personal hero, and now we had a film that billed itself not as a monster movie but as "THE MONSTER MOVIE." The incredible print ads featured the three step evolution of a hideous thing in a womb sac, the slug lines read "Don't move, don't breathe, she is alive, and she will find you." The last picture was of a monstrous, toothy, deformed thing that just screamed, "cool monster." It was supposed to be about some kind of creature spawned by pollution, a mutant grizzly bear I heard. Good Lord, I had to see this.

    Be careful what you wish for.

    I begged the folks to take me, and we settled into a comfy theater for a night of monster goodness. By the time the lumberjack put the chainsaw near ARMAND ASANTE's face, I began to grow very uneasy. Maybe, just maybe, this would be too intense for me. I started to squirm. I had no clue it would get worse. Momma Bear's attack on the campers seriously scared me. Although we never got too good a look at her, it was obvious that this was one seriously messed up creature. Not cool by any means, but utterly disgusting. The exploding sleeping bag scene has gotten a lot of derision over the years, but to my 8-year-old eyes, it was quite nasty. It only gets worse when they talk later about the evidence of the dead campers, evidence that was at the hospital in buckets! Ick. It was becoming plainly obvious; PROPHECY was not what I expected. Then it happened. The scene that burned itself into my retinas like the stare from a Gorgon. I closed my eyes as quickly as I could, but it registered, it was too late. My childhood was over, at 8 years of age no less. The scene that scarred me for life and began years and years of nightmares.

    The mutant baby bear in the trap.

    The sight of that uber-disgusting, slimy, deformed thing, squealing in agony was too much for me to take. Up there, on that screen in Atlanta, was the single most disgusting, disturbing, grisly sight I ever saw. I could take no more, this was simply too much. I begged my folks to take me home. Dad was ticked off (the old, "we payed our money" line), but Mom (thank God for Mom, God bless Mom!) overrode him. She hated the film anyway and could have cared less to stick around. Besides, no way was her baby boy going to be traumatized by this damned thing (well, too late for that, but you know). We went home, the fate of the characters and the beasts a mystery to me for many years. I always felt that PROPHECY's PG rating was a fluke. This was an R film if ever there was one, and had it been given it's true rating, I would never have asked my folks to take me.

    As I grew up, I suffered from many a PROPHECY induced nightmare. The bears, or some variation thereof haunted the old dreamscape. I still have them from time to time. The kicker is this, in the ensuing years; I have become one of the films only supporters. Yes, it is heavy handed at times, but it has a good message about pollution and how it affects us and the land. It's scary, well shot and acted. And the FX work is in no way sub par. Maybe I remembered that terrified 8 year old in terror, cowering in the seat, maybe that colors my perception, but I always rise to defend TOM BURMAN's creatures when folks slag them off (as an aside, I must note that BURMAN provided superb effects for a film that is a major favorite of mine, THE BEAST WITHIN). I have just about seen all of the film too. I can actually look at the main bear. I don't like her, still find her quite upsetting, but can look at her. But not the baby. When PROPHECY plays on TV, and if I catch it, I look away, change the channel or cover my eyes. As a grown man nearing 40, I still cannot let the fear go and look at the stinking thing. Now I have seen some of the most disturbing, disgusting, upsetting, bloody, gory horror films of all time in the past 30 years. Movies that make many folks react the same way I reacted to PROPHECY. I watched them without batting an eyelash, loved every minute of them, and added them to the DVD collection. But PROPHECY cut me too deep. The scar is still there and will never heal. All due to a mutant bear squealing in a trap.

    The summer ended on a high note. THE BLOB played on TV one night. Thank God for STEVE McQUEEN! But PROPHECY was not done with me yet. Back home in Charlotte, my brother and sister came back from the mall. They promised to pick me up some comic books or something. They came back with Fangoria #2… cover story and feature?

    PROPHECY.

    I cried for about hour after that.

    To read more by David, be sure to check out Confessions of an Anxious/Depressive.


    Traumafessions :: Reader Jenny M. on the VHS Cover of Bloodsucking Freaks

    Posted on By aunt john

    As a child, I really had no restrictions as to what I could watch on T.V. or as video stores opened up what I could rent.  I do remember at the age of 8 being terrified of the MANIAC trailer every time it came on T.V. and when I finally saw it at 14; it is now one of my favorite horror movies.  When we got cable, my brother and I could watch every horror movie on HBO or Showtime and it is because of that I have a love for horror to this day.

    Now I can't remember what age I was when I kept seeing the tape for BLOODSUCKING FREAKS.  All I know is that the cover scared the shit out of me and I was always drawn to it every time we went in to rent something.   It was the picture of the director JOEL M. REED on the back of the box that scared me too death, but I couldn't put it down every time I went to that video store.  My dad would say, "Do you want to rent it this time?" I would always say, "No." I think I finally got the nerve to rent it with my boyfriend who is now my husband and I was 25 at the time.  I now know it was a piece of crap and JOEL REED wasn't even in it, just on the cover.   It really is a joke of a movie with bad effects and bad acting.   It was his sinister grin that to this day gives me the chills.  He is so creepy looking.

    Anyway I would love to thank my parents for not being restrictive on what my brother and I could watch when we were younger and that is why I have such a love for horror.   We both turned out normal from all of the stuff we saw. I would also like to thank my mom for renting I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE for me when I was 15 after I asked her to bring back anything horror.   It has remained one of my favorite movies due to CAMILLE KEATON's performance.  If my mom only knew what she had rented for me that day I am sure she would not have rented it.  She said she thought the title was cool.

    I cannot wait until my 3-year-old son is old enough to share my love for horror.   He has been to several conventions and has his own CHUCKY doll, so I hope he follows in my footsteps.

    UNK SEZ: Great traumafession Jenny. We've been talking a lot around here about age appropriateness and horror films lately. I'd like to think kids with open, loving parents who are involved in their lives are pretty durable and you (and your mom) sound like a fine example of that. Color me jealous, I didn't get my first Chucky doll till I was in my twenties! (thanks for the swell b-day gift Kip and Sheri!)