kindertrauma

Traumafession :: Reader Donny O. on The Last Starfighter

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hey guys,

I love your site. When I was about nine or ten my father took me to see "The Last Starfighter." I loved the movie but one scene nearly made me pee my pants. When the main character is sent off to battle aliens in space he is replaced in his home by a duplicate version of himself sort of like "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." At one point, a blanket is lifted off of a bed and we get a glimpse of the duplicate before it is fully formed and its skin is pasty and its eyes are popping out. As a kid who had only seen rated G movies up to that point, it was totally gross and totally shocking.

UNK SEZ: Oh yeah! You're talking about Beta Alex, the quirky doppelganger of Alex Rogan (as played LANCE GUEST of HALLOWEEN II fame)! We love THE LAST STARFIGHTER around these parts! Why, it was even directed by NICK CASTLE who played the original shape in HALOWEEN! Thanks for bringing this one up Donnie! As an added bonus, Aunt John made the gif below so you can stare at slimy Beta Alex as long as you like! Enjoy!

Sunday Streaming:: Daughter of the Mind (1969)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Earlier this week we had a Name That Trauma involving a father staring into a fireplace and lamenting the loss of a child. I didn't come close to being able to identify it but it sure reminded me of a Name That Trauma from our early days (HERE) which turned out to be the 1969 TV movie DAUGHTER OF THE MIND. If you ask me, this ghost tale based on a book by PAUL GALLICO (THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE) goes a bit off the rails with its bonkers explanations but that doesn't dilute the haunting quality of many of its supernatural scenes particularly the chilling opening that closes with a ghost child (THE TOOLBOX MURDERS' PAMELYN FERDIN) admitting, "I hate being dead." So let's say we check out DAUGHTER OF THE MIND today, I'd say it's perfect Sunday Streaming fare/Super Bowl counter programming! Not sold? Do the names RAY MILLAND and GENE TIERNEY mean anything to you? Hey, it's even got the exact same opening theme music as WHEN MICHAEL CALLS! What's that all about?

Name That Trauma:: Kelly M. on a Possessed Hamburger

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hey! First of all – love your blog! It's so comprehensive, plus funny – it's amazing 😀

Down to brass tacks – I vaguely remember watching a movie on TV maybe 7 or 8 years ago which still nags at me sometimes. I believe it was a horror movie – here are the details I remember:

* Youngish guy working at a burger joint late at night.

*A burger he's making is sitting on the counter when lighting strikes the building and happens to be directed to the burger.

*It proceeds to come to life and psychologically manipulate the young man into taking over the world, used either CG or claymation that was very eerie.

Thanks for your work!


UNK SEZ: Thanks for your kind words, Kelly! Aunt John, our resident BETTER OFF DEAD-fanatic, is emphatically certain that you are talking about SAVAGE STEVE HOLLAND's kooky off-kilter classic BETTER OFF DEAD (1985) and I'm inclined to agree. As much as I wish we lived in a world with many a possessed hamburger movie to choose from, I'm sad to say we probably don't. Check out the scene below and let us know!

Name That Trauma:: Dan C. on a Creepy Fireplace Vision

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Been checking your site out for a while now and it's astounding! Going so deep into this stuff brought out an early childhood memory that I had forgotten about, prob cuz I obsessed over finding all my other kindertrauma's years ago and found em all! So asking this as a serious long shot, cuz the scene I will describe to you was on a soap opera, and considering this had to be 1980-1982…well I just can't imagine it exists anywhere or sticks out in anyone's memory.

But here it is, an older man in his older man den is sitting down drinking (probably brandy or whatever) and staring longingly into the roaring fireplace. Superimposed on the fireplace is the image of little girl on a swing, laughing. This was obv supposed to be some memory that has brought upon a mournful feeling in the guy. I don't know if she was dead, missing, or what, but it creeped me out like crazy! I think I remember this was right before an add break and I remember hearing either "Nadia's theme" from Young and the Restless, or something like it, adding to the creepy factor. But it could have been another soap. I was only like 4 years old, so this is very foggy in the detail department. I've looked at some soap fan sites to see if I could find something in the plot lines of those years to match, but with no luck. Maybe? Somebody out there? Anybody?

80s Beat:: Featuring Flatliners (1990) and The New Kids (1985)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I love budget DVD sets exactly as much as the last time I told you I love budget DVD sets. They're cheap, the picture quality is usually decent and there's something exciting about ending up with a bunch of titles that you normally wouldn't seek out. It can be a gamble but while securing a beloved staple you just might meet a new favorite film or two. Plus as an oldster who was around during the early days of 100$ VHS tapes, I stand stunned that such a thing is even possible. Oh and they take up very little space!

An important thing to remember when shopping for budget sets is to never be swayed by the cover! The cover art is usually too busy to give much useful information so you have to check out the small print on the back. I hope you brought your glasses! My most recent acquisition comes from my old pals at MILL CREEK who frankly, rule. The cover design is pretty darn clever in how it apes old 80's teen magazines. They even went and put a pin up poster on the reverse side for an added knee-slapper. I would buy this anyway because I pretty much dig any and every teen oriented flick from the eighties but some horror junkies would walk right by it because their eyes are trained to only be attracted to the colors red and black. But slow your jets horror fans! There are films in this pack that might be of interest to you!

FLATLINERS (1990)
Even though FLATLINERS looks all slick and flashy and JOEL SCHUMACHER-y and even though it's about as mainstream as movies get thanks to JULIA ROBERTS running about in it, there's no denying the fact that its plot points toward the valley of Kindertrauma. Besides concerns with death and the afterlife being frequently stoked, much time is spent reminding us how past traumas influence our present selves. I'd probably rather that the flick dared to dive into the deeper and darker end of the pool but there are still some genuine creeps to be had and a bit of a hallucinatory NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET vibe running through its veins. I've got particular affection for KEVIN BACON's character's storyline which finds him having to endure the same bullying he inflicted upon others as a child.

THE NEW KIDS (1985)
How can any reasonable human say no to a teen revenge thriller from the director of FRIDAY THE 13th, SEAN CUNNINGHAM? Especially when said thriller sports the likes of LORI LOUGHLIN (AMITYVILLE 3-D) as the recipient of unwanted attention by a wild-eyed, snowy-haired, psychopath portrayed by JAMES SPADER (JACK'S BACK)? Did I mention that the proceedings culminate in a showdown in a run down offseason amusement park? This movie is Exhibit A of why I'm hooked on these sets. I like the movie enough to own it and return to it occasionally but not enough to spend big bucks for it or concern myself with extras. Also, TOM ATKINS has a small part! Of course I need this on my shelf!

AND THE REST….
1985's THE LEGEND OF BILLIE JEAN may not be horror but it's hard to imagine any 80's horror fan not enjoying the ride. How can you deny a road movie with STEPHEN KING killer-car horror alumni like YEARDLEY SMITH (MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE) and KEITH GORDON (CHRISTINE)? It's impossible! Don't try.

If you happen to be in the mood for a teen sex comedy but you also want to upset JOHNNY DEPP then PRIVATE RESORT is the movie for you because he hates it and wishes it would disappear! The rest of the grab bag is pretty square but there are some early roles for big talents like ROBERT DOWNEY JR. (TRUE BELIEVER) and RIVER PHEONIX (LITTLE NIKITA). I can't say I'm too interested in LIKE FATHER LIKE SON or SIDE OUT but you never know when you may want to hate watch something. Honestly I'm just going consider this a 3-pack of FLATLINERS, THE NEW KIDS and LEGEND OF BILLIE JEAN and consider all of the other movies ‘extras". Three great movies out of eight may not seem like a winning ratio but if you consider how many times I'm likely to re-watch BILLIE JEAN it's a steal.

Anyway, buy enough of these types of sets (and I do) and you can rest easy knowing you are prepared for a rainy day or a long stay in a nuclear fallout shelter, whichever comes first. Also, if you think I'm not going to take this opportunity to post PAT BENATAR's "Invincible" video from the BILLIE JEAN soundtrack you are sorely mistaken….

Sunday Streaming:: I Saw What You Did (1988)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I'm just going to come right out and tell you that I prefer the 1988 TV remake of I SAW WHAT YOU DID over its WILLIAM CASTLE directed, JOAN CRAWFORD starring, 1966 predecessor. You can threaten me with wire hangers all you like, I won't budge. The revamp is directed by the criminally underrated suspense specialist FRED WALTON of WHEN A STRANGER CALLS (1979) and APRIL FOOL'S DAY (1986) fame and it is just as slick and groovy as you'd suspect. Furthermore, it stars two of my favorite people on the whole planet (SHAWNEE SMITH the same year she did THE BLOB!) and TAMMY LAUREN (she who took down THE WISHMASTER!) Plus, it's got good ol' CANDACE CAMERON from FULL HOUSE in it…PLUS…two (count em!) creepy CARRADINE brothers (ROBERT and DAVID)!

Oh, I've got plenty more to say about this fantastic jam but to read that you'll just have to buy ARE YOU IN THE HOUSE ALONE: A TV MOVIE COMPENDIUM (HERE) edited by the glamorous and multi-talented AMANDA REYES! In the meantime, you can be kind to yourself by watching the slap of eighties awesomeness below! Oh no! Just checking out the first scene with its HALLOWEEN II approved "Mr. Sandman" song featured in it has got me hooked! I'm trapped! There goes another Sunday afternoon!

Sunday Streaming:: When Michael Calls (1972)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hey, let's say we all watch the TV movie classic WHEN MICHAEL CALLS! I'm not sure if it's scary but it's definitely creepy and sometimes I think creepy is better than scary because it lasts so much longer. I mean, there's just some sort of feeling or tone to this movie that gets to me every time- ya know? Well, it was filmed in Canada in the early seventies and that certainly helps give it some legitimate horror cred. It's even got Mrs. Mac (MARIAN WALDMAN) from BLACK CHRISTMAS in it and we all know she rules. Sure, it's a little dated as it comes from that time period when everybody thought it was perfectly acceptable for a grown woman to impersonate a young boy by utilizing a Rocket J. Squirrel voice but in same ways that just makes it more surreal and weirdly off-putting. In any case, you can't beat the cast; when you're cooking with the likes of ELIZABETH ASHLEY, BEN GAZZARA and MICHAEL DOUGLAS how can you possibly go wrong? Trust me, if WHEN MICHAEL CALLS isn't perfect for a mid January Sunday afternoon, I don't know what is! Plus it's got murder by bees! I love me some murder by bees! How did I not mention the score? Listen to this opening theme…