May 22nd, 2015 · 14 Comments
May 17th, 2015 · 3 Comments
There are an infinite amount of realities occurring at the same time. Somehow I’m trapped in a reality where PITCH PERFECT 2 trounced MAD MAX: FURY ROAD at the box office. I’m so ashamed of my country right now. Oh well, let’s make this a teachable moment and focus on the fact that financial success does not constitute quality and that sometimes you have to forgo popularity to remain awesome as hell. Still, it’s a world gone mad in my opinion and not mad in a good way and that’s why I think everybody who didn’t go see MAD MAX: FURY ROAD should stand up and be accountable and willingly subject themselves to the abject atrociousness that is SOLARBABIES. I know it’s harsh but how else will you learn?
May 10th, 2015 · No Comments
Happy Mother’s Day! Today I’m voting for KIM HUNTER as my favorite on screen mom! Not only was she a swell mom to BAD RONALD and was kind enough to hide him in a secret room when he accidentally killed a sassy smart aleck but she also played a mother of sorts to a slimy fish monster with tentacles named Anthony in the best ‘80s monster movie this side of THE THING! I’m talking about THE KINDRED and I will talk about THE KINDRED until the fine day it finally gets a proper DVD release! I’m not getting any younger folks and let me tell you, neither is my VHS tape! In the meantime, some saintly blessed person has put THE KINDRED up on VEOH so watch it below and spread the word!
Note: THE KINDRED pairs well with fish-flavored flicks like HUMANOIDS OF THE DEEP (1980) or DAGON (2001). Serve chilled with tartar sauce, a slice of lemon and a California white wine.
May 3rd, 2015 · 7 Comments
This week we lost a beloved member of the Kindertrauma family, our feline friend of twenty years, good ol’ Gato Malo. Today’s Sunday Streaming pick, my most favorite TWILIGHT ZONE episode “The Hunt” is dedicated in his honor. Rest in peace, Gato Malo! We love you and we’ll see you soon!
April 26th, 2015 · 1 Comment
Is there any better way to spend a Sunday afternoon than honoring the work of recently departed horror icon ROBERT Z’DAR by watching the exquisitely deranged MANIAC COP trilogy? The answer is nope. MANIAC COP and MANIAC COP 2 are generously offered by HULU below and luckily some unknown nice person has made part 3 available on good old YouTube as well! Rest in peace ROBERT! We miss you already.
April 19th, 2015 · No Comments
Holy cannoli, you can watch 1980’s THE EXTERMINATOR on your computer any time you want to thanks to HULU. I swear I do not own stock in HULU, it’s just that I come from a wretched time period where you had to wait a year to watch THE WIZARD OF OZ on TV. Anyway, THE EXTERMINATOR is broncho nuts. I think if I was forced to make a top ten list of the most traumatizing movies of my youth, it would certainly be on it. Once upon a time I tried to write a traumafession about it HERE but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to properly put my feelings into words. The weird thing is, THE EXTERMINATOR does not get less insane with age, it just seems to get more and more crazy and explosively sinister. Check it out below and say so long to your mental well being….
April 12th, 2015 · No Comments
Thanks to the fine folks over at HULU and a couple of dudes named HERZOG and KINKSI you can spend your Sunday watching the lusciously morbid NOSFERATU THE VAMPIRE (1979) online for free. It goes great with a bloody Mary! Let me tell you, when I worked at a video store this was one of my go-to movies to play in the shop because the glorious soundtrack by POPUL VUH can hypnotize a person in exactly one second. Check the flick out below or give your peepers a rest and just listen the incredible soundtrack HERE.
April 5th, 2015 · 3 Comments
Don’t feel bad if you don’t have the patience to watch this unfinished work print of the ill-fated sequel to 1976’s GRIZZLY in its entirety; I know I didn’t! I gotta feature it here for Sunday viewing anyway on account of it so blows my mind. You see, poor GRIZZLY 2: Grizzly On The Move never got a break and ended up in a trash heap even though its jaw-droppy cast would have eventually insured it some kind of cult classic if it had only been finished and released in some way. Seriously, this concert attending bear hangs out with DEBORAHs (RAFFIN and FOREMAN), LOUISE FLETCHER, LAURA DERN, GEORGE CLOONEY, CHARLIE SHEEN and even HALLOWEEN’s CHARLES CYPHERS! What in tarnation? The mind reels!
March 22nd, 2015 · 6 Comments
Hey look! Currently for the price of free we can all watch MATTHEW BRIGHT’s hilariously off the wall and endearingly offensive ode to little Red Riding Hood, 1996’s FREEWAY on HULU. Yay and aw, I’ll never forget that one time I was working at a video store and we got in a VHS screener and it had a double feature of AMITYVILLE DOLLHOUSE and FREEWAY on it. Of course I brought it home exclusively for AMITYVILLE DOLLHOUSE because the title promised both AMITYVILLE and a DOLLHOUSE and those are both places I want to live in. Luckily, I gave FREEWAY a chance too, even though I’m sure it was more out of laziness regarding turning the VCR off than it was about my having an open and inquisitive mind. As I recall I was in love not long after the opening credits were done.
In any case I think this is a perfect pick for Sunday Streaming as one can certainly get the wrong idea about this movie by its title, cover art and the two main leads. I know the idea of watching SUTHERLAND and WITHERSPOON drive around in a car seems like some kind of torture but SUTHERLAND is creepily menacing enough and WITHERSPOON is effervescently kick-ass cuckoo enough to make you forget all of their future, seemingly smitten with themselves baggage- I swear!
It certainly doesn’t hurt that they are accompanied by what may be the greatest cast ever assembled. Holy crap, you get the stupendously squirrelly AMANDA PLUMMER (SATAN’S LITTLE HELPER), the terrifically tarantulan DAN HEDAYA (ALIEN 3), the horrendously underappreciated chameleon ALANNA UBACH (THE BRADY BUNCH MOVIE), America’s skyscraping sweetheart BROOKE SHIELDS (ALICE SWEET ALICE), the legendary SYDNEY LASSICK (THE UNSEEN) and most importantly, an early antsy and unhinged performance by the late great BRITTANY MURPHY (CHERRY FALLS) among others. Buckle up and pack a lunch, this is a must see for anyone who enjoys movies that are not afraid to go off the beaten path to reach their destination.
March 15th, 2015 · 4 Comments
This one is borderline stinky but I feel like it’s been far too long since we’ve watched a movie in which a gaggle of young folk take a trip to an isolated place to be killed off one by one by a crazed maniac. SAVAGE LOVE aka DEADLY MANOR is not as consistently entertaining as say, ICED, DEMON WIND or THE MUTILATOR but it has some enjoyable flashes here and there if you scrounge. The all too familiar opening is worthwhile as you anticipate the possibilities and adjust to the idea that none of the characters are capable of speaking like a normal human and the climax after the killer is revealed is wonderfully off its rocker; there just happens to be a half hour in the middle where you might have to slap yourself to stay awake. It’s worth the torture though because there is a comedy relief guy who is incredibly unfunny, the soundtrack sounds like it was provided by “Keyboard Cat” and you get to walk away feeling smarter than anyone who would stay the night in a abandoned house with empty coffins in the basement, a closet stuffed with scalps, scrapbooks filled with photos of dead bodies and a blood stained car crash shrine in the backyard. It’s far too dark and far too bloodless for sure and yet it’s not without a spooky setting and you have to give the killer props for working a white Laura Brannigan-style “Self Control” mask to semi creepy effect. Give it a try and feel free to curse my name later. I can take it.