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Traumafessions/Name That Trauma :: Reader Nicholas of Norway on Urban Legend & a Cross Dressing Beach Bum

March 23rd, 2010 by unkle lancifer · 7 Comments

Thank you for this amazing site that I discovered all the way from Norway. I love reading about all those slasher flicks and the so-bad-they-are-good T.V.-movies. The way you write makes me laugh out loud.

But I do have a bone to pick with you.

Loving everything that’s old with a twist, I got my hands on a copy of HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, after reading about it on your site. I finally convinced my friend, who really isn’t into old slashers at all to see it with me; “Just wait for the ending,” I told him.

We were amazed, and not in a good way. It stuck in my head for all the wrong reasons. I could not care less about the characters, as they didn’t do a good job in my opinion. We laughed hard throughout the movie, and when the twist came up, we laughed even harder. We didn’t see it coming, but it was disappointing. They way you were praising it I thought it was up there with SLEEPAWAY CAMP, but it was not even close.

Now I will use all my convincing-powers to make him see APRIL FOOL’S DAY instead. I think the movies are similar, but A.F.D. being the better one. Better acting, better murders, scarier and a much better twist!

Now, over to my kinder trauma. I’m 26 years old, and saw URBAN LEGEND in the theatre; it’s the scene at the gas station where she drives off only to see the killer in her backseat with an axe, killing her off. That has traumatized me to levels I don’t even know if I can explain. (I left my car at the movie theatre, and took the subway home for starters.) To this day, the first thing I check when I get in a car is the back seat, and if it has a lot of clothes, etc. I have to lift them up to see that the killer isn’t waiting for me under the pile. If I’m driving alone at night, I can start panicking because I think I see a hand in the backseat, so I have to pull over and make sure. Damn that movie, it surely has scared me for life.

I have a movie I have been looking forever for, it’s an ‘80s romantic movie. It’s about a girl who is a lesbian I think, and she dresses up as a boy so that she can date this girl. Then in the last scene, at a beach, it’s revealed that she has boobs, and really is a girl. I badly want to see this movie again, so please help. I do think it has slasher elements as well. Anyone?

Thanks,

Nicholas.

UNK SEZ: Nicholas, where to start?

1. Thanks for your kind words.

2. How does one not enjoy HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME? I know that the ending makes zero sense but what about the shish kabob murder? Did you guys even listen to the theme song at the end? It’s the best theme song EVER!

3. Why are you keeping company with someone who, “really isn’t into old slashers”? What kind of person is that? I think that questionable character must have swayed your opinion on H.B.T.M.!

4. I know that you are a rational person because you understand the glory of SLEEPAWAY CAMP and APRIL FOOL’S DAY so I have faith that you can still be saved and learn to appreciate HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

5. I like the opening of URBAN LEGEND too! BRAD DOURIF as the gas station attendant, NATASHA GREGSON WAGNER (MODERN VAMPIRES!) as the girl in the car and BONNIE TYLER singing “Total Eclipse of the Heart” on the radio. “Turn around bright eyes…” good stuff! I don’t think it’s quite scary enough to inspire me to take the subway home, but maybe in Norway you guys have nicer subways. Here in Philly, it’s actually safer to get in a car with an axe murderer in the back seat than to take the subway. (I kid!)

6. I have no idea what you’re talking about as far as this cross dressing beach flasher goes, maybe one of our readers does. I’m just going to pretend you are talking about the best movie ever made, JUST ONE OF THE GUYS on account of I just want to bring up JUST ONE OF THE GUYS. The only thing missing from JUST ONE OF THE GUYS is a good shish kabob kill!

NOTE: Speaking of “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” try not to love this…

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Tags: Name That Trauma! · Traumafessions




7 responses so far ↓

  • 1 LaDraculNo Gravatar // Mar 23, 2010 at 8:47 am

    Actually, she wasn’t a lesbian, she was mad because no one was taking her seriously as a journalist, so she goes undercover as a guy to change their minds. However, she finds out the guy she’s dating is a creep and falls for another guy who thinks she’s a guy…and that’s where the flashing scene comes in.

  • 2 jeffreygmmNo Gravatar // Mar 23, 2010 at 9:31 am

    I’m leaving a comment in rabid defense of Happy Birthday to Me.  That is all. xo

  • 3 PJScoldsNo Gravatar // Mar 23, 2010 at 11:33 am

    I’d already heard the urban legend so many times that I was already checking the backseat before I saw the movie, when I was about 10. But after, now, every time we hear Total Eclipse of the Heart on the radio at night, my mom starts singing along until I turn, because it just freaks me out, it’s too much like recreating…

    Also, I love Just One of the Guys.

  • 4 JergyNo Gravatar // Mar 23, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    I’m leaving a comment in rabid defense of Just One of the Guys! Not that it needs defending.  It all comes down to Billy Jacoby and a sprinkle of William Zabka for good measure.

  • 5 LaDraculNo Gravatar // Mar 23, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    Actually PJ, I associate “Total Eclipse of the Heart” with “Dance of the Vampires” AKA “The Fearless Vampire Killers”-
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRoW7ZmdxWU
    (In German)

  • 6 mamamiasweetpeachesNo Gravatar // Mar 24, 2010 at 8:26 am

    Well, The subways in Norway must be MUCH nicer than the ones in New York because I personally cant think of anything more horrifying than riding the subway! I will gladly take the man in the backseat with the axe over the subway any day!

    But I myself have a similar fear of closets – where I think somethings hiding in there and I kick and punch at the clothes to make sure nothing is hiding behind them. I think this stems from CATS EYE but I dont know. A lot of different movies feature shit hiding in the closet: Its a treasure trove of Kindertraumna gold!

    JUST ONE OF THE GUYS rocks. My 11 year old doesnt like any of my 80s movies but JUST ONE OF THE GUYS and WEIRD SCIENCE. One summer she made me watch JUST ONE OF THE GUYS once a week.

    And – by the way- to show Its A Small World After All: Deborah Goodrich who was in JUST ONE OF THE GUYS was also in APRIL FOOLS DAY, which we were also talking about.

  • 7 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Mar 29, 2010 at 9:21 am

    Hey, we just got this email from Nicholas…

    …..”YOU SOLVED MY KINDER-(DRAMA)TRAUMA!

    Thank you, thank you, thank you! It`s offcourse JUST ONE OF THE GUYS.
    I have been looking for this movie since i was 12, so this really made my day!!!!!

    Ok, mabye i have been to harsh on HBTM. It has its elements and i guess its a good mess. (But not as fun as A.F.D) I`ll give you the shish kebab murder, it was hilarious and the theme song was for me, scarier then the whole movie alltogether. “Can i cut the cake?” She sings. I mean, really? Its`s so out of place and that really makes me laugh. 

    Im shocked that he doesent love old slashers naturaly as well. But i will take him with me over to the dark side for sure. Just give me time.

    There are a few movies you have made me eager to see.
    Such as Bigfoot (Night of the Demon), Where can i see this insane mayhem? They really dont make movies like that anymore, do they? And the movie with Shatner on a plane. I have to see that, just to enjoy the complete madness.

    Also, thank you for introducing me to the infamous Hugga doll horror! I keep watching on youtube and i stare in shock, not knowing if i should laugh or cry. I love when the doll breaks out of the glas mirror and shreiks in that wierd voice: “We have been watching you for a long time!” Wtf? Thats just TOO crazy!

    The subways in Norway are nice and state of the art, and the only scary part is the price to ride one. (5 us dollars per ticet) But, hey. We`re rich!

    Thanks again for helping. I check every morning if new stuff has come up. Keep posting this amazing stuff!=)””

    Nicholas…

    Thanks Nicholas!!!!!
    By the way I found HBTM in HD on ON DEMAND this past weekend. I’m not sure if you have that in Norway but I watched it again (for like the 50th time) in high definition and it looked amazing! It also had the original score which is important. 
    Glad you are coming around to HBTM
    as for Night of the demon (bigfoot movie) that’s a hard one to find. i think I saw it on Youtube but it’s gone now.
    JUST ONE OF THE GUYS was just a sarcastic guess from me! I had no idea it was the right answer! 
    so happy we solved your kindertraumas
    and YAY NORWAY!!!!!
    Cold Prey RULES!

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