Certainly good old Buck Rogers can be relied upon to deliver a nights entertainment to the kiddies without damaging their fragile minds. Sure the entire cast’s skin tight spandex attire verges on the pornographic, but the violence is sure to be nothing more than a couple laser blasts, and there’s always the lovable “ambuquad” Twiki to keep things light. On January 3rd 1980, in an episode entitled SPACE VAMPIRE, Buck and company may have slightly overestimated their audience’s capacity for horror. Unprotected by the ability to seriously question the ridiculousness of what they were witnessing, many children went to bed if not scared, than certainly bewildered. While taking Twiki in for repairs, Buck (GIL GERARD) and Colonel Wilma Deering (ERIN GRAY) find themselves quarantined on a space station, and in the direct path of a “Vorvon”, a vampire-inspired alien that sucks the life from its victims. This Vorvon, being that he has working eyeballs, immediately sets his glowing red sights on many an adolescent boy’s wet dream Wilma. The creature’s appearance, with it’s cabbage head and unibrow, is unsettling enough, but the transformation of Col. Deering from intelligent heroine to whimpering victim to lascivious heathen is the stuff permanent psychological scars are made of. Of course our Buck does save the day by sending the neo nosfuratu hurdling into a star breaking his Svengali hold on our dear Deering, but the damage is done. Wilma is left verbalizing her shame like a slowly sobering crack whore and pre-adolescent boys are left contemplating the now horrifyingly thin line between abject terror and vague arousel.
- E.T’s mom’s main squeeze CHRISTOPHER STONE’s awesome ‘stache
- The Vorvon cruises the space station’s disco singles bar and only Wilma can see him
- Vorvy appears as glowing red orb to enter Wilma’s quarters and drains her with his long fingers
- ERIN GRAY goes totally nuts draining folks, coming on to Buck, talking like a tranny and planning world domination! “I like the taste of fear best of all!”