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Kinder-bitz!

September 24th, 2010 by unkle lancifer · 8 Comments

Hold on to your lunch. I have to talk about stuff occurring that is not horrible and depressing and, in fact, makes me happy. I know, the thought makes me uncomfortable too. It is all very unseemly but we can get through this bubble of non-hell together. Soon things will be back to the normal drudgery I promise. I feel so jolly right now that I’m convinced a car is being manufactured somewhere in the world that will ultimately crash into and kill me. You know how the universe works.

Here goes. I wasn’t going to say anything but then I realized that not everybody is on the Twitter so they may have missed this slice of cosmic fortune. See that new Halloween header at the top of the page? See that ROB ZOMBIE quote up there? I didn’t make that up during a late night drinking binge as you might suspect. That’s the real deal. Yes, ROB ZOMBIE tweeted about good old Kindertrauma! He came upon my impassioned H2: Director’s cut review and he appreciated my appreciation. Is that not gold?

I know there are both crab trees and Evil-lyns out there thinking, “Sure he likes your review because you love his movie!” to which I say, “Oh, you poor sad, misguided…dumb-dumb. It’s not about the love, it’s about the understanding.” ROB and me are now super best friends forever and you’re just going to have to get used to it. Your jealous scorn only tightens our bond.

Seriously though how cool is that? How satisfying to know that my ramblings reached the one who inspired them. I’m just sad that I’ve already written two reviews for H2 because frankly I’d like to write five more. Maybe I will.

I wonder what the hell my horoscope predicted for last weekend. Did it say, “You are about to encounter greatness” or “Your self delusions are about to hit a fever pitch.”? You see, I also encountered the one and only JENNIFER RUBIN! I’ll let that ferment in your brain a tad.

Yes! Aunt John and I went to the fanciest town in the universe, Baltimore, to hob knob with the rich and infamous last weekend at a MONSTERMANIA convention. We finally got to meet the Miss Yvonne of our playhouse AMANDA BY NGHT in person for the very first time. If you follow kindertrauma you’re surely familiar with Amanda from her multiple Funhouse hosting stints, her informative comments and her non-stop enthusiasm. I have to thank Amanda for showing A.J . and me around and introducing us to her cool friends including but not limited to DANIEL FARRANDS who did such an incredible job with that NEVER SLEEP AGAIN : THE ELM STREET LEGACY documentary ( if you haven’t seen it yet change that.) It was a stellar weekend and a great time was had by all.

That song you hear growing louder in your head is Lakme because this trip to glamorous Baltimore was fate’s way of bringing JENNIFER RUBIN and I together at last. O.K. I know this picture is weird and it looks like RUBIN is a lifeguard who drug a drowned victim out of a swamp but what can I do? God was obviously watching both Howdy Doody and NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD when he decided to invent me.

See in this picture I’m reserved and relatively normal but hours later I’ll bump into RUBIN in the hotel bar and tell her everything that has always needed to be said. Things like you are a way better actress than that too cool to show up for an ELM STREET 3 reunion PATRICIA ARQUETTE and that BAD DREAMS is better than all but two of the ELM STREET sequels. I stand by both of those statements. Luckily AUNT JOHN caught the legendary meeting of JENNIFER RUBIN and UNKLE LANCIFER on video and the clip is below…

All right, that’s it. Enough about me and my frenetic mania that will soon inevitably come to a crashing halt. let’s see what’s going on around the interwebs…

B-SOL of VAULT OF HORROR saw the new I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE remake and his thoughts are HERE!

VICAR of VHS caught ATTACK OF THE BEAST CREATURES which I’ve always wanted to check out and have neglected to HERE!

My pal Christine from FASCINATION WITH FEAR goes a little psycho HERE!

ARBOGAST does something beautiful with graveyards HERE!

Funhouse winner BILLY V. suggests you get right over HERE!

ZOMBIES ARE MAGIC talks about one of my favorite movies HERE!

NOW KINDLY UNDO THESE STRAPS cracks me the hell up HERE!

And last but not least AUNT JOHN insists that I show you the ad below…

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Tags: Kinder-Bitz!




8 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Billy VNo Gravatar // Sep 24, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    Well, I can only throw my hat in the ring with Mr. Zombie on this one. I’m glad you guys are seeing some positive responses for your positive responses. Bestest site on the internets. And I was saying that before I won a nifty new book!

  • 2 JergyNo Gravatar // Sep 24, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    Now I’m sad. You were in my home city and I didn’t even know.  Ah well, maybe next time. Or maybe not since you’re now all buddy buddy with Mr. Hollywood Big-shot Rob Zombie!

  • 3 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Sep 24, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    Ah, rats Jergy! I didn’t know we were in your neck of the woods! If we’re not in Hollywood and I’m not visiting Niagra falls with Jennifer Rubin or hit by a phantom car we will make sure to look you up next time!

    Great crab cakes by the way!

  • 4 Amanda By NightNo Gravatar // Sep 24, 2010 at 6:36 pm

    You two were beyond fabulous. I had a lot of fun hanging out with the masters of Kindertrauma. I also like you and Jennifer together. I loved that she was wearing that purple bag dress. It was so haute couture (sp?) for a horror show! She looks good.

    But I’m totally surprised no one compared me to Kate Jackson. OK, maybe not that surprised! 🙂

    I know Dan enjoyed meeting you guys as well. Like myself, he thinks KT is a wealth of horror info! Keep it up!

  • 5 Tommy VNo Gravatar // Sep 25, 2010 at 11:40 pm

    That picture of you and Rubin is priceless. I have never, ever seen that look on your face before.
     
    (And I use World’s Greatest Cat Litter. I have never once eaten it. Not one time. )

  • 6 LaDraculNo Gravatar // Sep 29, 2010 at 9:54 am

    Oh, brushes with fame…I felt all giddy after meeting Ray Park…
    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v132/AnnaValerious/IMG.jpg
    So many things I wanted to do…but his wife would’ve been unhappy. 🙂 (At least he liked my G.I. JOE fatigues!)

  • 7 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Sep 29, 2010 at 3:24 pm

    Love that picture LaDracul! I saw Ray Park at a con and I neglected to get my picture taken with him and I’ve always regretted it! He’s a cool guy!

    Love the fatigues too!

  • 8 LaDraculNo Gravatar // Sep 30, 2010 at 8:42 am

    Thanks. 😀

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