…:::kindertrauma:::… random header image

Ten Great Horror Romances

February 1st, 2008 by unkle lancifer · 7 Comments

February is the month of love, so what better time to take off our kiddie beanies and present you with our ten favorite horror romances. Let us know in the comments section if we missed yours!

JAWS shark revenge hoagie love
10. JAWS: THE REVENGE The death of sheriff Brody (ROY SCHEIDER) left a pretty big hole in the heart of his wife Ellen (LORRAINE GARY). A hole so big, only a guy named Hoagie (MICHAEL CAINE) could fill it. With his cupid-esque curly locks, irresistible British accent and willingness to partake in a spontaneous jig during a street festival, he’s every widow’s dream come true. Mrs. Brody is indeed in love again… and this time it’s personal!
Jodie Foster Scott Jacoby hamster abuse
9. THE LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVES DOWN THE LANE Young love, how sweet it is! Many have gone to outrageous lengths to win the attention of the wily Miss FOSTER (insert presidential assassination joke here), yet few have succeeded. It would take the greatest guy ever right? Enter Mario (BAD RONALD himself SCOTT JACOBY). He is a master of disguise, a deft magician and he carries a hidden sword in his cane. Did we mention he has a sexy limp? If that wasn’t enough, he’s open to helping you dispose of all the dead bodies you got lying around. Good catch JODIE! He’s a keeper!
witchboard gay love ouija Tawney Kitaen
8. WITCHBOARD You don’t need a Ouija board to spell this out for you; long before BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN (R.I.P. H.L.!) Jim Morar (TODD ALLEN) and  Brandon Sinclair (STEPHEN NICHOLS) apparently got on a first name basis with the love that dare not speak it’s name. Based solely on conjecture it appears, TAWNEY KITAEN can dress in male drag till the cows come home; these dudes only have eyes for each other. I’d say, “Get a room!” but they already did.
lesbian vampire lakme sarandon bowie deneuve
7. THE HUNGER Speaking of the gays, CATHERINE DENEUVE may have promised forever love to DAVID BOWIE but looky here to what’s going down to the tune of LAKME! Sisters ARE doing it for themselves! This is some real classy stuff, especially when you consider all this snogging was spurred by SUSAN SARANDON’s older than the Bible “Oops… I spilt wine on my Beefy-T” come-on!
sexy werewolf bites Jenny Agutter
6. AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON David Kessler (DAVID NAUGHTON) and nurse Alex Price (can you stand it? T-H-E JENNY AGUTTER) may have just met, but if this ain’t the real thing, I don’t want the real thing, I’ll have this instead. The shower scene alone is enough to get these two into the hall of fame. By film’s end, even though they have that whole he’s deceased thing between them, you can tell when Jenny looks into that furry dead werewolf ‘s eyes that she got some primo diary material out of the deal.
my bloody valentine candy three way
5. MY BLOODY VALENTINE What list would be complete with out this blood-soaked valentine to the horror of love triangles? T.J. Hannigan (PAUL KELMAN), after an unsuccessful attempt to move on to bigger and better things, returns home to the dead end town of Valentine’s Bluff to find his girlfriend Sarah (LORI HALLIER) knocking boots with his buddy Axel (NEIL AFFLECK). Who will win her? Let’s just say one of them wants her heart a little more (literally) than the other!
brundle fly maggot baby geena davis
4. THE FLY In every relationship there is a time when you must ask yourself, “How much slime can I put up with be before I’m out the door?GEENA DAVIS seems to be gearing up for the long run. This is especially commendable when you consider how dampening the random loss of body parts might be on your sex life. Too bad boyfriend Seth Brundle (then real-life beau JEFF GOLDBLUM) is married to his work! What a shame, they were so close to a life of picket fences, Tupperware and 2.5 maggots!
chucky's in love tiffany tilly
3. BRIDE OF CHUCKY A slasher icon with a girlfriend? Who woulda thunk there would be time between slayings? It helps that Tiffany (JENNIFER TILLY) has the same interests as Chuck (BRAD DOURIF), not to mention the same plastic dilemma. These two dolls may not always get along, but when they’re on the same page they’re unstoppable. Take notes.
candyman tony todd bees virginia madsenn
2. CANDYMAN What is so romantic about TONY TODD and VIRGINA MADSEN’s relationship? If you have to ask you either: A) Never saw this movie or B) Don’t know what love is. This is the real deal folks, it’s timeless and it knows no boundaries. And we say this kinda love is worth finding… no matter how many bees sting you.
king kong eats fay wray on world's biggest phallic symbol
1. KING KONG! Here he is the Grand Daddy of the woo. He had everything working against him; he was a stranger in a strange land, he was a different species altogether and he was ten times her size. But K.K. was also consistent, he never wavered, and he never gave up. How could FAY RAY help but fall? Maybe it was beauty who killed the beast, but is there any better way to go?      

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Tags: Holidays




7 responses so far ↓

  • 1 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Feb 1, 2008 at 1:27 pm

    Runners up!

    HALLOWEEN 2: Laurie Strode (JAMIE LEE CURTIS) and Jimmy Lloyd (LANCE GUEST) These two are cute and the T.V version even shows them holding hands at the end, Plus they are the parents of little Jamie (DANIELLE HARRIS)! But c’mon! I ain’t over the death of Ben Tramer yet!

    THE BOOGENS: Trish (REBECCA BALDING) and Mark (FRED McCARREN) A blind date that ends well! who wasn’t pulling for these two? He’s all JIMMY STEWART-like and she was in SILENT SCREAM! It was only obscurity that kept these two off the list!

    CAT PEOPLE 82: NASTASSIA KINSKI and JOHN HEARD! major sparkage but left’s face it he’s better off with ANETTE O’TOOLE!

  • 2 ericNo Gravatar // Feb 1, 2008 at 9:09 pm

    I can’t think of a good pair up yet but I have to say those Witchboard dudes look like Huey Lewis impersonators.

  • 3 SeanOfTheDeadNo Gravatar // Feb 2, 2008 at 2:14 am

    Not strictly horror, but I love JD (Christian Slater) and Veronica (Winona Ryder) in Heathers. Love is only true love when one of you blows up…

  • 4 VicarOfVHSNo Gravatar // Feb 4, 2008 at 12:29 pm

    Strange, when I look at the screen cap from THE HUNGER, all I see is some kind of ornate vase…

    Runners-up:

    TP and Betsey from MADMAN! The hot-tub ballet is more romantic than anything I’ve ever done in my life.

    Margaret and Jimmy from LIQUID SKY These two were made for each other!

    The Monster and the Bride of Frankenstein No, wait…THESE two were REALLY made for each other!

  • 5 James NewmanNo Gravatar // Feb 5, 2008 at 8:59 pm

    Yes! Nice to see Ronnie & Seth from THE FLY included in the countdown. One of my favorite movies of all time . . . .

    Such a sad, tragic story, more than it is scary.

    J.N.
    http://www.james-newman.com

  • 6 jeffreygmmNo Gravatar // Feb 13, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    WITCHBOARD!!!

  • 7 PropagatrixNo Gravatar // Feb 13, 2014 at 1:32 pm

    How about Chris and J.C. from NIGHT OF THE CREEPS?

You must log in with your Kindertrauma account to post a comment: