kindertrauma

Year: 2009

Official Traumatot:: Reader Renee Nominates Veronica Cartwright

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Dear Auntie and Uncle:

How about VERONICA CARTWRIGHT (As an official Traumatot)? As a kid she did THE BIRDS, THE TWILIGHT ZONE, ONE STEP BEYOND, and THE CHILDREN'S HOUR (which I found quite horrifying, despite it's not being a horror film). As an adult she went on toALIEN, INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK (okay it sucked and it's not horror but it has "witches" in the name and makes the list longer), and several unnerving appearances on THE X FILES.

Come on! Give her a chance!

Respectfully submitted,

Renee T.

Dear Renee, you are, as they say, preaching to the choir. VERONICA CARTWRIGHT is a favorite around here and we could not agree with you more. Besides the fine films you mentioned, she also popped up in CANDYMAN 2: FAREWELL TO THE FLESH and the kinder-fave anthology film NIGHTMARES (VERONICA starred in the segment NIGHT OF THE RAT). She even got to parody ELLEN BURSTYN's EXORCIST character Chris MacNeil in SCARY MOVIE 2. Semi recently she took another jab at the problems with pod people in the mega-dud THE INVASION. VERONICA, regardless of the production, seems to just get better with age and we are happy to fulfill your request Renee and offer her full TRAUMATOT status. In fact, I don't know why we never thought of it before. Find out more about VERONICA at her very own website HERE.

Dead of Night (1977)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I can't lie to you kids. The first two stories in this DAN CURTIS-directed, RICHARD MATHESON-scripted horror anthology/potential series pilot are in my opinion, not so hot. They are well cast and serviceable enough, but your usually game Unkle found himself looking down at his non-existent watch on more occasions than he would prefer. The first tale involves a young ED BEGLEY, JR. traveling through time in an antique car ('nuff said) and the second involves PATRICK MACNEE (yikes! Count Iblis from the original BATTLESTAR GALACTIA!) and ANJANETTE COMER (from Kinder-fave THE BABY) in a rather routine vampire tale. Third times a charm though, because the last story entitled "Bobby" delivers more creeps than an OSMOND family obstetrician.

In "Bobby," JOAN HACKET (HOW AWFUL ABOUT ALLAN) is a grieving mother who is having trouble dealing with the recent drowning death of her young son (BURNT OFFERINGS' chimney pancake LEE MONTGOMERY). Rather than going the Mrs. Voorhees route and hacking up individuals who are not even remotely responsible for the tragedy, JOAN decides to attack the problem at its source and reanimate her drowned kid via black magic. Take it from me, black magic can and will fix all of your problems BUT there is always some kind of tricky catch! Dealing with Satan is a lot like dealing with Colombia House.

You don't have to be familiar with THE MONKEY'S PAW or even PET SEMATARY to know that Mom is in for a rude awakening when a soaked Bobby does indeed show up on her doorstep. Her gradual realization that Bobby is not quite as she remembers is akin to getting excited to watch LAVERNE & SHIRLEY and then realizing it is a "California" episode. CURTIS, who staged a parallel two character showdown in TRILOGY OF TERROR, knows which screws to tighten and when and the final moments in "Bobby" brand a similar lasting mental scar. My favorite bit involves a mocking, paranoia inspiring phone call from the never seen Dad. It's a classic moment of all-consuming dread that really gets under your skin. As mediocre as DEAD OF NIGHT begins, this last tale more than makes up for it. "Bobby" is not only classic DAN CURTIS, it's some serious classic Kindertrauma as well.

Curse of the Black Widow

Posted on By unkle lancifer

CURSE OF THE BLACK WIDOW is considered by some to be a lesser work of director DAN CURTIS, but if you ask me even a lesser work by this guy is worth a look. CURSE introduces us to a familiar CURTIS protagonist, a somewhat down on his luck investigator who must work against a system that believes he is a lunatic for entertaining the idea that the solution to the problem at hand may be supernatural in origin.

In this case, a string of murders in L.A. by a femme fatale slowly begins to appear to be the work of a woman who has the ability to transform herself into a giant spider thanks to an Indian curse. As far fetched as the concept is CURTIS is able to ground at least the first half of the film in a gritty and groovy seventies reality before taking his shoes off and delivering a B-movie showdown with a papier-mâché arachnid. What separates CURSE from most of CURTIS' productions is the fact that it eventually reaches a knee-slapping, ridiculously camp crescendo but that's also what makes it so much fun.

At a time when most television movies featured women being endlessly accosted in parking lots, it's actually refreshing to find a mostly male victim roster here. (Of course centering the tale on a woman who is half spider and lingers around singles bars to catch her prey is hardly the height of feminism either). As dated as some of this happily is, CURSE still manages to come off as pretty progressive for showcasing an apparently gay mortician and a very butch girl Friday played to the hilt by ROZ KELLY. I may have said some less then flattering things about ROZ "Pinky Tuscadero" KELLY in the past, specifically in reference to her less than stellar performance on THE PAUL LYNDE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL. In fact, if I remember correctly, MR. CANACORN himself issued a fatwa against me in order to defend her dubious honor. Well, all I can say is that I am now deeply ashamed of myself because, in this movie, she frakin' owns!

In fact, as much as CURSE definitely has a great dark CURTIS vibe throughout, I gotta say the entire cast is what makes it so special to me. It may not send you to bed freaked out of your mind because a spider lady might get you, but who can say no to these actors? ANTHONY FRANCIOSA of ARGENTO's TENEBRE is the more than a likable lead and he is surrounded by such greats and not-so-greats as VIC MORROW, DONNA MILLS, JUNE LOCKHART, JUNE ALLYSON, SID CEASER, MAX GAIL of BARNEY MILLER, and last, but certainly not least, the living legend and poster girl for fractured personalities everywhere, someone who should never be shown a hot dog lest she "loose control," PATTY (CALL ME ANNA) DUKE! C'mon you know you can't resist this! It's like someone mashed up that giant spider episode of GILLIGAN'S ISLAND with KOLCHAK and then forced some LOVE BOAT stragglers to perform in it! CURSE in no way CURTIS' finest hour but if you are a fan of seventies television and laughable giant monsters it may be yours.

Official Traumatizer :: Dan Curtis

Posted on By unkle lancifer

There are some names that appear again and again on the pages of Kindertrauma (STEPHEN KING and JOHN CARPENTER being two of the most obvious multiple trauma inflictors). One name that is perhaps less well known but belongs to an equally prolific trauma supplier is DAN CURTIS. Producer, director and writer, DAN CURTIS not only supplied us with the innovative gothic daytime soap opera DARK SHADOWS, but he also pretty much redefined horror television in the 70's across the board. Besides introducing us to the ever influential character of Kolchak from the seminal television movie THE NIGHT STALKER, he was also the man responsible for the unforgettably terrifying Zuni fetish doll from the classic TRILOGY OF TERROR. His directorial work on the big screen includes the creepy haunted house flick BURNT OFFERINGS which, like much of DAN's output, is frequently cited as a movie which many young folks were forever scarred by (particularly when they stumbled across it on late night television).

His list of genre contributions go on and on and he can be thanked for bringing such classics to the small screen as DRACULA ('73), THE TURN OF THE SCREW ('74) and THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY ('73). The presence of his name in a film's or television movie's credits signals the fact that you are about to see something from somebody who truly knows his way around a horror tale. DAN CURTIS may not exactly be a household name, but there is no household that has a television that this man did not profoundly affect.

We here at Kindertrauma have no choice but to honor his brilliant career with an Official Traumatizer award. DAN the man's extensive credits speak volumes but honestly, he could have earned this baby with the Zuni fetish doll alone!

Traumafessions :: Reader Matthew H. on Ghostwriter

Posted on By aunt john

Reading all the previous entries, I'm REALLY glad my folks were always so careful about what I could and couldn't watch as a child.

That said, there was one show I stubbornly insisted on watching, because I loved it so much and 'oh it's not scary at all!!'–

GHOSTWRITER.

It aired, as I recall, some time in the ‘90s, so I guess I was about six or seven. For those who have never seen it, it's about a group of kids that are sometimes contacted by a ghost–a spirit of some kid who died in the 1800's, I think this was revealed at some point–who writes messages to them that only they can see. How does he do this? Why, by altering text on anything they happen to be looking at, of course! So if they happen to be reading the back of the cereal box at breakfast, suddenly the cheery cartoon is glowing and the letters rearrange themselves to spell anything from 'Gabby's in trouble! Find her!' to 'Party at Jamal's!' With his help and guidance the gang solves mysteries. Cool premise, to a kid's way of thinking, and I loved it.

There was one specific episode, however, that to this day remains the only thing I can ever recall giving me a nightmare. It dealt with a gang coming into town, taking over some turf the protagonists used as a hangout. This gang was no ordinary gang, however–they wore masks. Big green rubber masks, with horridly-bulging eyes. Shudder. Worse yet, each member wore TWO masks, one on his/her face and the other on the back of their head! At one point Alex, one of the protagonists, decided to join up with the gang to infiltrate them and take them down from within. Part of his joining entailed signing an oath of some sort, and a member offered her back to him as a writing surface, her mask leering down at him all the while. I woke up screaming bloody murder that night, convinced that a dual-headed green-faced monster with bulgy eyes was lurking the closet.

Just thought I'd share. Thanks!

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Well Matthew, thank you for sharing that with us. The episode that terrified you was first show of its first season, and it's called GHOST STORY. Below are the clips for your viewing pleasure.

The Kids of Crystal Lake

Posted on By unkle lancifer


With a remake of FRIDAY THE 13TH just around the corner, I think it's time we take a look at the role kids have played in the Crystal Lake saga. Their significance has not been entirely consistent throughout the series, but their presence on several occasions created formidable and lasting waves…


FRIDAY THE 13TH
Aw look it's little Jason whose imagined drowning death sparked more than a decade's long bloodbath! Flashback scenes reveal two omnipresent qualities in the young man, first of all he had a face only a mother could love and secondly he's no MARK SPITZ! Less you think he was just a tragic victim, he pops up at film's end to involve himself in one of the greatest most startling shocker finales in the history of horror!


FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART 2
Remember this kid? PART 2 begins with him jumping around in puddles and just barely missing being jumped on himself by a now grown, adult Jason Voorhees. No kid likes to have to come in when called by mom but this guy should be very thankful he did. If Jason has taught us one thing it is to always heed your mother!


FRIDAY THE 13TH PART4: THE FINAL CHAPTER
Tommy Jarvis (COREY FELDMAN) stands supreme as the ultimate FRIDAY child; not only did he accomplish what so many had tried and failed to do by ending Jason's mortal life, but he also had quite a talent for suspiciously SAVINI-esque make-up effects. Voyeuristic tendencies aside, this Crystal Lake critter is a true hero!


FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 5: A NEW BEGINNING
When DIFF'RENT STROKES' "Dudley" shows up, trouble is not far behind. Having narrowly avoided the cruel fate of being a bicycle shop owner's bride, poor Dudley (SHAVAR ROSS here as "Reggie") now has to face off against Señor Voorhees. Why so serious Dudster? That's not Jason, it's just a bonkers ambulance driver avenging the death of his son who was a recent casualty of a violent candy bar dispute!


FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 6: JASON LIVES
You don't have to be Benjamin Franklin to know that lightening has the power to reanimate the dead. In this installment Jason comes back to life only to find that, for the first time ever, Camp Crystal Lake is crawling with kiddie campers! This little girl is named Nancy and she is plagued by bad dreams in what must be a baiting nod to competing franchise A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET!


FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 7: THE NEW BLOOD
Little Tina here is a pint sized Carrie White sans the oppressive Catholic upbringing. With her awesome psychic powers she smashes her beloved daddy beneath a dock but don't worry, he'll show up again years later and not looking any worse for the wear!


FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 8: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN
We've gone full circle and the little Jason that drowned in the lake is kicking his way back into our universe via blurry flashbacks again! This time he's looking less mongo-licious than we remember, but then that's nothing compared to how stupid adult Jason looks later when he takes off his mask. This unloved addition to our story is not without its bright spots, but ultimately I must quote the GREEN ACRES theme song "Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside!"

So you see, kids really did play a large part in the FRIDAY franchise even if they sat out the 3-D one and declined traveling with Jason into hell and outer space. In fact, a conversation between two children supplies my favorite line in the entire series. In PART 6 JASON LIVES, two little boys are shown hiding under a bed and awaiting what appears to be their inevitable doom at the hands of Jason. One boy turns to the other and deadpans "So, what WERE you going to be when you grew up?"

Traumafessions :: Kinderpal Gilligan of Retrospace on the Sleestaks

Posted on By aunt john

Could it possibly be that no one has mentioned the Sleestak from LAND OF THE LOST as a leading cause of childhood night terrors? Surely I must have missed that post.

The way they would creep silently around their labyrinthine cave passages stalking their prey was simply chilling. The Sleestak would slowly emerge from the blackness not unlike Michael Myers in HALLOWEEN to claim their prey. Nocturnal hunters, they prowled the darkened forests in packs; large, reptilian, and totally without mercy. They were known to sacrifice their human victims to their God who dwelt deep within a pit in the bowels of the subterranean city (a creature Holly would confront face to face). And don't get me started on their Library of Skulls. Amazingly, these terrifying denizens of darkness were creatures from a Saturday morning T.V. show for kids!

Fast forward to the present, and most folks remember LAND OF THE LOST as just a silly little children's show from the '70s. They've forgotten the dark underside of LAND OF THE LOST: the sinister Mist Marsh, the mysterious Zarn, and, most of all, the brooding horror of the Sleestak.

AUNT JOHN SEZ: What child of the '70s could really forget about those nasty Sleestaks? Kindertrauma surely hasn't, and Unkle Lancifer personally inducted them into the Official Traumatizer Hall of Fame this past year. Speaking of the '70s, be sure to check out Kinderpal Gilligan's super-cool Retrospace!

Traumafessions :: Reader PhantomWerewolf on Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

Posted on By aunt john

Growing up I watched a lot of horror movies; guess you could say I grew up with them. My cousins are not the bravest of folk and when they rented horror movies I was "forced" to watch them as well. This started when I was about 4 years old. I've watched everything from ‘80s slashers, to old classics, to horrid B-movies even MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 wouldn't touch. I was not afraid, the only thing that remotely frightened me was CHILD'S PLAY, but that wasn't even bad. I was quite confident I could watch anything or see anything and not be scared.

I was wrong.

My horrors came not from movies… but from a book. SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK. I believe this has already been covered, but only a particular picture was discussed and it wasn't the one that made me sleepless for months.

I was about 10 when I discovered this book in my school library; the cover was rather eerie so I was drawn to it. Without looking inside, confident I would be entertained judging by the cover alone, I checked out the book and was on my way back to class.

It wasn't until I got home that I started to read the book. The stories were rather cruddy but the pictures were what struck me. They were so otherworldly in the way they were drawn it sent shivers down my spine in a good way. That all ended when I saw 'the picture.'

The story I believe was called "The Haunted House" or something close and the image that accompanied it was that of a woman's face; if it could be called a face. Decay had taken most of her visage away leaving a wraith like being with scraggly hair and empty sockets with piercing pinpoints of light visible in the back of the skull. Her mouth was agape, lips nearly rotting off her and her teeth were few and far between. I was literally frozen with fear, staring at this being in the pages of a book.

Once I regained my composure, I slammed the book shut and threw it from me, never to finish it. My mother had apparently heard me yelp, I didn't recall making any noise, and came in to see what had happened. I explained what I saw and she had to see for herself and was shocked to see such a graphic image in a kids' book. She promptly did the mother thing and told me it was just a picture and couldn't hurt me, but what kid really believes that? I was convinced this thing would come and kill me in my sleep.

The face haunted my dreams for the next few days, that simple image and my explosive imagination had done what no horror movie had ever done to me. I was afraid to sleep in the dark; I couldn't sleep without waking up from a nightmare in a cold sweat. After a month or two the initial scare wore off and only trauma remained. To this day I cannot look at that image without shuddering, so imagine my despair when they released a new edition of the same book with that face adorning the cover.

Kinderpal FatherOfTears on Kill Baby Kill

Posted on By kinderpal fatheroftears

There is a nice list on this website featuring little kids who are killers and they are all great examples. There is another killer kid that should be mentioned; Melissa Graps (VALERIA VALERI) from MARIO BAVA's KILL BABY KILL. Melissa was the daughter of some local hated Baroness and was accidentally killed by a bull during a town festival. The locals were too busy getting plastered and they didn't like the kid, so they ignored her, even when she rang a church bell for help and so she eventually bled to death. Momma Baroness, who happened to be a medium, decided to get revenge on the town by summoning up her dead 7-year-old and having her kill the locals.

The first time Melissa would appear to her victims she would only creep them out. The second time she appeared to them she would force them to kill themselves! She would show up with a mischievous giggle that was years ahead of DR. GIGGLES and there would be P.O.V. shots of her swinging on a swing in the dead of night. One victim, the town inn keeper's daughter, was taunted by the ghost child when Melissa put her hands on her window, placed her face up to it and simply stared at the poor kid!

Of course the teenager knew that she was Melissa's next target so her parents enlisted the help of a local witch who, among other things, flogs the kid with thorny bushes! She also makes the kid wear a ring of barbed wire around her torso to ward off Melissa. The doctor who was sent to town to investigate the suicides finds this out and thinks it's crazy. He removes the barbed wire from the girl and assumes that it is all superstition and that the girl will be alright. WRONG!!! The next night the girl is woken from her sleep and she sees Melissa by the window again. Melissa puts the girl in a trance and she forces her to impale herself with a piece of metal that's sticking out of a wall mounted candle holder. There is another scene where the doctor goes to the Baroness's castle and he runs into the ghost who announces her presence by throwing a bouncing ball down the hallway.

Melissa then tells the doctor her name and runs off giggling down a spiral staircase. The kid has this sadistic look in her eyes. This is seen when she shows up in the closet of the town burgermiester as he's about to give the doctor's new found assistant, a local med student played by ERIKA BLANC of THE DEVIL'S NIGHTMARE fame, a birth certificate showing her who her true parents were (ERIKA is apparently tied in to the killer kid's history).

O.K., I don't want to give much more away, but near the end the doctor and ERIKA go to the Baroness's place and she takes him to Melissa's bedroom which is full of dolls. Well guess who is sitting on the floor with the dolls!

(That repeating room sequence HAD to have inspired DAVID LYNCH when he did that Red Room sequence in the last episode of TWIN PEAKS!)

Creepy kid eh? So there she is. Melissa Graps, creepy killer child who could fit in with all the other Kindertrauma kids who kill!