kindertrauma

Author: unkle lancifer

Traumafession:: Bill S. on G.I. Joe's There's No Place Like Springfield

Posted on By unkle lancifer

In or around 1985, the popular G.I. JOE cartoon aired an episode that was unlike anything seen for children's programming.

The episode was titled, 'There's No Place Like Springfield'. This episode found the character, Shipwreck, waking up to a place that is unfamiliar to him. He's told things that don't make sense to him. Shipwreck's mind slowly starts to unravel as he tries to determine what is real and what is illusion.

This is a psychological thriller, culminating in some horrifying visuals for children.

Here's some moments from this episode!

Traumafession:: Bill S. on Monster Club (1980)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

In the late '80s or early '90s, I caught the last 40 minutes of a horror film that was truly chilling.

'The Monster Club' is a film split into 3 vignettes.

In the last one, a man drives into a mysterious village and slowly discovers the townspeople do not want him to leave. He then meets a young girl who decides to help him attempt escape.

The ending has a fantastic twist!

The rest of the film stars Vincent Price and other Hollywood old-schoolers and features an all star soundtrack as well. (The animated, dancing skeleton scene is infamous!)

Anyway, I've set up this youtube link to start at exactly the last story. Enjoy!

Father's Day Viewing:: Haunts of the Very Rich (1972)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Happy Father's Day! Today I submit for your viewing pleasure the very father-tastic made-for-TV flick, 1972's HAUNTS OF THE VERY RICH. It stars the father of JEFF & BEAU BRIDGES, LLOYD BRIDGES, Mary Richards' father figure ED ASNER, America's most favorite dad ROBERT REED as a reverend (or father), TONY BILL who fathered one of my favorite movies, FIVE CORNERS, CLORIS LEACHMAN who played somebody who shared the same father as Mrs. Garrett on THE FACTS OF LIFE and the father of Julie's baby on ONE DAY AT A TIME, MICHAEL LEMBECK.

This sorta reads like a precursor to that show by TORI SPELLING's pop, FANTASY ISLAND although it's sadly HERVE VILLECHAIZE-free. It's about a bunch of rich people who get trapped on an island and thanks to forces beyond their understanding, come to realize how wretched existence is when hopes are dangled in your face like carrots on strings and repeatedly snatched away. If I could throw us all in a time machine back to the days when this flick's SARTRE-lite rug-pull was still a mind blower, I would but Father Time just won't allow it. Thankfully, seventies era slo-mo shots and background music brandishing hellish death sirens singing "ahhhh-ahhh" will always retain their eternal creepy power ‘round here. Enjoy, and have a mutha of a Father's Day.

Name That Trauma:: Andy on Cannibalistic Sorority Sisters

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hey,

I have a trauma that I have been thinking about lately and I was wondering if someone could help me out. I want to say that it is a movie from the eighties/maybe early nineties. It involved a group of sorority girls who (I believe) were part of some cult or something. Anyway, the only part I really remember is the very end when some guys were running from these murderous girls and they were at the bottom of a set of stairs. A head comes rolling down it and there is a voice from one of the sorority sisters saying something to the fact that these girls have to finish every single bite of these guys or they would be punished (implying that they were in fact cannibals). I'm sorry, but that is all I remember other then the fact that it was a cheesy horror flick and/or part of an anthology (whether film-wise or on TV). Your site has greatly helped me out in the past so I was hoping for more of the same now!

Thanks,
Andy

International Robey Day Funhouse

Posted on By unkle lancifer

It's Friday the 13th! Around here this day isn't just about Jason Voorhees and his ma, it also happens to be international ROBEY day! To celebrate, help Micki & Ryan of FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES find thirteen thirteens hidden in the image above. If you can't find them all don't worry, it only means you'll be cursed for life. Allow me to play a relaxing tune to help you concentrate….

Name That Trauma:: R.T. on a Harpy's "Gotcha!" Game

Posted on By unkle lancifer

This is more of a request to help me find an old episode of something that scared the hell out of me. Here is what I remember. I think it may have been an episode of the 80's cable Hitchhiker series. But it could have been another.

Here is what I remember. The setting is a man and woman in the midst of some sort of romantic tryst in, I believe, a hotel room. The woman suggests they play "Gotcha" (though it could be another name I am sure this is it). Anyway, she goes and hides while he stays on the bed. As the film goes along he becomes increasingly paranoid. Feeling extra strange as it seems she has only gone to hide in the bathroom, we see him sitting on the bed sweating and generally freaking out. The climax comes when some horrid disfigured harpy-type thing descends upon him from the ceiling fan directly above him (whose repetitive turns have been marking the increase in his anxiety), saying "Gotcha!" Then we see that it was just his girl all along sneaking up to the side of the bed. One of the best jump scares I ever had, but sadly from my wee lad days. If it wasn't The Hitchhiker, it was a similar '80s serial. Could even have been drawn from an anthology film but I doubt it.

The couple, the room, the game, the first person camera to guy's anxiety, the figure descending from the fan, and his shock from the vision of seeing his girl beside him going basically "boo." These are the threads I remember. Can you find it for me? It has been plaguing me for years. Airtime on Showtime or HBO would have been circa '84-'88.

Traumafessions:: Anna on Phantom of the Paradise & more

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Where do I begin?

1) I remember watching Phantom of the Paradise on TV when I was about five or six years old. It left me slightly confused and creeped out. I actually love that movie now. It's funny and cheezy at the same time.

2) Carrie. Saw that when I was about seven years old. The music, the blood, the hand popping out of the grave at the end. My twin used to threaten that the "hand" was going to get me. Yep. She did that for at least five or six years.

3) Amityville Horror. I was afraid to look at crucifixes and rocking chairs for a looong time.

4) I remember the nanny committing suicide by hanging when I watched The Omen on TV. Again, I was only a child. (My older sisters watched these movies in front of us.)

5) The Exorcist. I think I was about eight years old. Part I & II. Just bits and pieces of the movie I remember watching. I was afraid to go up the stairs and look at the white door that led to the bathroom because the door reminded me of the girl's bedroom.

There's probably more but those movies above stick out of my mind the most.

Traumafession/Name That Trauma:: Whitney M. on an Above the Influence Dog & a Nasty Nanny

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Trauma to share:

Not sure how many people will remember the "Above the Influence" commercial with the dog, so here it is…

Right off the bat, your ear drums are assaulted with that creepy haunting music. Between the music and the strange animation, that commercial was the WORST. It was more effective at giving you the willies than making sure you don't try pot. I remember immediately switching the channel every time it aired just to avoid it. To this day I can't watch the full commercial. NOPE!

Trauma to Name:

The plot of the movie is basically: woman has baby, hires nanny, nanny wants baby for herself, woman finds out, nanny tries to kill woman. The woman had asthma, and a very distressing scene involved her having an asthma attack and she's trying desperately to reach her inhaler. Can't quite remember if it was an '80s or '90s movie, unfortunately. It was definitely a VHS. If you can name that trauma, that would be amazing. Then I can blacklist it and never watch it again!

Regards,

Whitney M.

UNK SEZ: Thanks Whitney! A crazy nanny plus a wonky inhaler can only add up to one thing, you must be thinking about the classic 1992 flick THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE!

Sunday Viewing :: The Last Shark (1981)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Here's a nice beginning of summer treat for y'all. It's like a delicious Italian water ice with a tasty shark fin sticking out of it! I've wanted to chomp on this one for a while but the copies I found were always too murky. Happily, this particular upload looks semi-sharp. Poor little adorable LAST SHARK (aka GREAT WHITE) played in theaters back in 1981- that is until it was yanked out due to UNIVERSAL STUDIOS being big babies and crying "copycat" while sucking on their greedy, humorless thumbs. I guess I do kinda see their point, LAST SHARK does indeed like to pretend it's JAWS but how many other films can that be said about? I guess the rub is that LAST SHARK's parroting hits uncomfortably close to the mark. Ironically enough, it reminds me a lot more of what I love about JAWS than either JAWS 3-D or JAWS 4: THE ORGIN OF HOAGIE. It's got all the primary colors, stark backdrops, super swank swim fashions and satisfying doses of mutilation that JAWS' crustier later entries sorely lack (not that I don't have affection for those dummies too).

Plus this movie is amiable enough not to tease. The giant shark here doesn't coquettishly bat its shark eyelashes from behind a wave; it gets all up in your grill Italian-style like it's inventing the selfie (at least near the end). Importantly, the creature's scene chewing talents are exactly zero match for our born for this kinda thing hero VIC MORROW. Obviously UNIVERSAL was just jealous! How else can you explain the fact that those sue happy vestiges of originality went and swiped this film's explosive climax and used it (and the shark's inexplicable roar) in their insane 3-D sequel? Of course this also swam is no JAWS (duh) but it's the only shark movie I'm aware of that has a line the likes of, "One thing's for sure, it wasn't a floatin' chainsaw." Yum!

NOTE: Allow me to add too that unlike any official JAWS film, this flick has a killer opening theme song! Even if you don't watch the movie listen to the groovy tune below! It will make you happy for approximately 24 hours…

NOTE 2: Hey look! The hand on the teaser poster is the same hand from the MORTUARY ad (not to mention THIS book cover). Silly hand, stop getting into so many dangerous predicaments! It's your own fault, hand!