












your happy childhood ends here!

I suppose it's possible to trudge through the holiday season without watching BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974) but why on Earth would anybody want to do such a thing? Viewing murder and mayhem in celebration of December 25th may seem like bad taste verging on sacrilege to some, but I'd argue it's more appropriate than a sled load of sappy modern X-Mas movies bent on selling you the idea that having your every indulgent fantasy realized is the reason for the season. Keep your shopping malls, Christmas should be spent in an old dark house surrounded by snow waiting for the appearance of you don't know what.

BLACK CHRISTMAS, like Christmas itself, focuses on a pregnancy (although this one will end in abortion rather than the son of God) and if that's not enough to convince you of its fittingness, it's also got folks with horrible communication skills cursing like sailors and abusing alcohol. Like any holiday gathering, it's equal parts hilarious and maudlin and yet you don't need to travel to reach this snuggly destination! Trust me, Jesus would tell you himself if he wasn't too busy crying his eyes out about the greed-driven travesty his birthday has become that he's more comfortable being associated with BLACK CHRISTMAS than "Black Friday" (Though truth be known, his favorite horror film remains CARRIE).

BLACK CHRISTMAS has no problem collecting laurels for including tropes that would become ubiquitous years later but its brilliance is worthy of far higher praise than "first out of the gate." This is no mere sorority house hack n'slash, and ultimately its most essential similarity to HALLOWEEN is that it's labeled "minimalist" when it's anything but. The late BOB CLARK built a psychological maze with no clear exit and more primary to its personality than its relationship to any forthcoming body count flick is its unspoken crush on ROSEMARY'S BABY. C'mon, the creepy boyfriend, the invasion paranoia, the raking of religion's chestnuts over an open fire. What separates BC from the slasher pack and even its own remake is that darn unwanted baby and its mother Jess's unyielding plans for it. Pretending BC is only an under recognized trendsetter ignores everything that makes it so strangely haunting and difficult to pin down.

Jess, as played by otherworldly beauty OLIVIA HUSSEY (who had just given birth before shooting), is admirable but notably aloof. She knows exactly what she wants, offers no apologies and attempts at swaying her are useless. She's going to have an abortion and not only does her boyfriend have no say in the matter, he's lucky she deigned to inform him in the first place. We're on her side, she's too stalwart not to align with, but held up against the history of horror heroines, she's comparatively cold. Jess is going to do what Jess is going to do. Here's another "final girl" who doesn't fit the faulty "virgin lives" theory and doesn't her regality make you feel like a cad even bringing it up? She shows no outward signs of feeling torn about her stance and it seems neither her boyfriend nor the universe she lives in can handle that. The harassing phone calls the sorority house has been receiving get more and more personal and accusatory and the holiday itself, honoring a holy birth, inaudibly sings a preachy Oompa Loompa song in her ear. There's a growing presence in the house to match the one in her body and it seems devoted to the act of shaking her fortitude.

Whether Jess deserves to be raked over the coals for her adult decision is beside the point, horror is under no contract to be fair and understanding. It's no accident that nearly every seemingly random act of brutality that occurs will wag a finger at her. The staple-kill that binds this volume together involves Clare (LYNNE GRIFFIN), who bawdy Barb (MARGOT KIDDER) refers to as "The poster child for virginity." Clare is strangled in a plastic bag (a mockery of contraception?) and propped in a motherly pose in a rocking chair with a rotten baby doll in her hands (I'm assuming that's the same doll briefly glimpsed earlier in the film trapped in a birdcage). Boozy Mrs. Mac climbs into the attic womb and is gauged on a hook. As Jess cherishes the cherub faces of innocent carolers, Barb is penetrated with a symbol of fragile uniqueness, a crystal unicorn (while a death skull observes above.) "Like having a wart removed," Jess hears as she clings to the phone's umbilical cord. The granny voice isn't just quoting a conversation between Jess and her unborn baby's father Peter (KEIR DUELLA), it's backing up his condemnation. She's being punished all right but is it because of her decision or because she fails to broadcast the required level of socially sanctioned maternal emotions?

We're meant to suspect the Biblically named Peter. He bashes a piano in a rage and CARL (PROM NIGHT) ZITTRER's shivery understated score echoes his tantrum throughout. He calls Jess a bitch, stalks about the premises and is filmed in menacing shadow. He does everything short of chomp on a red herring sandwich. But this stubborn to confirm anything film does gift us at least one solid fact, that Peter's hands are as clean the ones on Jess' sweater. After being led to believe that the horror is over with Peter's death, we linger to learn that the squealing beast still exists (is resurrected in a way) in his nest upstairs. Our last glimpse of Jess and Peter together is a curious one and it more than a little resembles Michangelo's masterpiece "Pietà " which depicts the ultimate pure mother Mary cradling her mourned son.

BLACK CHRISTMAS would remain a stunning movie even if CLARK had followed advice and tagged Clare's boyfriend Chris (ART HINDLE) as the culprit, but by sticking to his guns and allowing the killer to remain ambiguous, he lifts the tale into the arena of the poetic uncanny (where it's felicitous roommates with HALLOWEEN.) Our killer Billy could be anyone, could be anywhere. He is free to change forms each time you watch. Sometimes I imagine due to a few shots of a framed record that Mrs. Mac made with her sister (The MacHenry Sisters!) that Billy is her estranged nephew. With his judging, all-seeing-eye he might be a stand in for the notably absent Santa Claus or even God. Is he giving voice to Jess's raging to be born baby or is he a physical manifestation of her suppressed guilt? Neither and both. Shadowy silhouette killers are nothing new but CLARK's representation delivers a singular identifying shard, Billy's intense penetrating eye; a cinematic pitfall into a bottomless chasm of meaning. If the frequent point-of-view shots place the audience inside the head of the killer, then the stark flashes of Billy's eye amounts to the viewers catching a glimpses of themselves in a mirror. If Billy can indeed be anyone then that includes us; the judgmental, voyeuristic audience.

I'll never be able to explore every room of this address. I didn't even mention my favorite character Phyl (ANDREA MARTIN) the heart (and co-patriot observer) of the joint, who I suspect CLARK had similar affection for since she's granted an off-screen kill. You probably don't want to get me started on JOHN SAXTON, especially if I've had some eggnog; it can be embarrassing. I'm moved by the plight of Clare's father and it kills me when he gets hit in the face with a snowball. Then there's that little girl's worried mother and the volunteers braving the cold for a literal search for lost innocence in the park. Luckily we get some comic relief thanks to Sergeant Nash (DOUG McGRATH) and his limited knowledge of sexual terms. You could devote a whole book to KIDDER's Barb and her shenanigans. Maybe I'm biased and when am I not? BLACK CHRISTMAS just happens to take place in a space that reminds me of my grandma's seventies-era abode and it's occupied by people who look like I remember they did while my favorite X-mas memories were being carved in my head. Even the posters on the girl's walls enthrall me.

Let me close by giving a final more definitive shout out to OLIVIA HUSSEY's Jess who I think is often shortchanged. No, she's not a warrior badass and yes, Sidney Prescott in SCREAM was probably referring to her when she complained of those who are "always running up the stairs when (they) should be running out the front door." Still, she's a sleeping giant in the horror heroine department for so fully claiming ownership of her herself from introduction regardless of how she might be perceived by Peter, Billy, Santa, God or us. Appraising a character on the strength of their personal convictions rather than their defensive fighting skills? Jesus would totally approve.



Hi,
Great website, your readers helped me with my brother's trauma before and I am hoping to get help with mine.
Back in elementary school, my teacher would show us these educational short films on a film projector. These movies from what I remember were from the 70's and served to teach kids some lesson about life. In actuality, I found these films to be terrifying and stressful. These movies showed children in impossible situations from which there was no apparent escape from, as they would often end abruptly without resolution. I believe the "go f–k yourself" endings served to promote discussion in the classroom on how to resolve the issue presented in the short.
Here are a few of the crazy ones. A girl witnesses her friends engage in reckless behavior with her imagining the possible deadly consequences of their actions. The short ends with her friends pressuring her to jump in front of a car to "see if it stops in time." Another one involves the new kid in class being brutally bullied by some jerk. The harassment continues into after school hours, where the bully chases the boy into a secluded area. The victim hides in a barn, but makes it seem that he is hiding in the rafters. As the bully is climbing a ladder to continue his abuse, the boy pushes the ladder down causing the bully to fall. This one ends with bully lying injured and pleading for help from the new kid. A third one involves a little girl overloaded with responsibility of school, chores, and babysitting. It ends with the girl breaking down over a pile of dirty dishes as she sees no help in sight.
The one I need help with, actually has a resolution. The story begins with single dad and daughter who perform a Punch and Judy show for kids. One day as the man is performing the show, he has a heart attack and dies painfully in front of an audience of children. The daughter is understandably traumatized as is the viewer by this turn of events. For the rest of the short the girl remains mute and withdrawn. Eventually at some family get together she notices some little kids have discovered her dad's Punch and Judy set. This story ends with daughter finally coming out of her shell, when she puts on a Punch and Judy show for the kids. This one had a somewhat nice ending, but was too much of a sad story for a classroom of 1st graders.
Thanks again for the past help.
Robert


I've made it clear I'm saving my tears for tragedies more devastating than a horror movie being remade HERE. Let me also be honest and admit that I get a kick out of watching supposedly broad-minded horror fans stomp their feet and get all Harper Valley P.T A. puritanical whenever a new one is announced. Sorry, nothing is more comical than a person in a zombie T-shirt crying about the death of originality. Greedy Hollywood is "out of ideas" that, or maybe they just know that pious bubble-dwellers will promote their film ad nauseum by bitching about it non-stop for a year…and then see it anyway. Can you believe that somebody had the gall to remake SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT? How can anyone hope to improve upon that fine piece of cinematic artistry? Don't get me wrong, I adore SNDN but a lot of my affection for it is because it is crass, disrespectful and mocks propriety. It's not a movie that would clutch its pearls and say "Well, I never!" at the thought of being remade. It was born to step on toes.

If you are appalled by remakes you better not watch SILENT NIGHT (2012); not only does it use a previously existing movie as a springboard to tell its story, it brazenly lifts swatches of content from fellow maligned remakes! Still teary-eyed about the MY BLOODY VALENTINE redo? Well here comes JAIME KING and a small town atmosphere to pour salt on your wounds! Still throwing darts at that ROB ZOMBIE poster because he successfully burned every copy of JOHN CARPENTER's masterpiece in existence? Here comes that no good MALCOLM McDOWELL and he's brought expressive color filters and light flares with him! That's gotta sting. Never mind that the first two SNDN's, long out of print, have been released at a reduced price to coincide with this differently titled movie's release, this abomination was built to ruin everybody's innocent memories! How will we ever go on?

SILENT NIGHT is a fine modern slasher. It has an exceedingly likable lead in KING and even though it's lame on occasion, its coal black sense of humor easily wins out in the end. They did a superior job making the Santa killer look menacing and there are more than a couple inspired kills. Granted, some of the nods to the original work better than others. It's always nice during the holidays to see someone impaled on antlers, but they needed to hire a much gnarlier dude to play phony-comatose grandpa. The guy they chose could play a patriarch on a nighttime soap! Look, I LOVE Christmas horror films and regardless of this flick's origin, it's a welcome addition to my collection. It's too soon to say if it will become part of my seasonal rotation but if I had to guess I'd say, "Who am I kidding? Yes." It's a crisp breezy romp and I must put a star on its tree for not shying away from killing a bratty kid who asked for it. I'll always favor the orginal's more personal story focusing on the forging of a psychopath, but there's room in my stocking for this approach too. I won't over sell it because I'm bias as hell but if you're into killer Santas movies than it's a must see all the way. In fact, I'm hoping it follows its inspiration's lead and spews out many sequels for years to come. Yes, SEQUELS! Groans of disapproval are music to my ears.



Hello,
I love your website and would like to post a trauma to Name That Trauma. Here it is:
I read a story in the early to mid '70s that haunts me to this day. It may have been part of an Alfred Hitchcock short story anthology. I've searched in vain on the net for the title and that's what I'm seeking here.
The story had to do with a man who has a large storage trunk in his room. Either the trunk was there when he moved in or he inherited it. Not sure. Most of this story lost in the mist of my memory except this — there was a finger in the trunk. Every night, it would poke out of the trunk and wiggle around. The man would lie in bed and watch it and then rush over, throw open the lid and see no sign of a finger. This went on night after night. Finally, the man, at the edge of madness, opens the lid, gets in the trunk and shuts the lid. I don't remember if he somehow locks himself in or not. I think that maybe the trunk is locked the next day and taken somewhere, perhaps to a trash dump. That part is very vague but the finger part sticks in my mind.
I would read and reread this story in our suburban living room — during the day, mind you — and would be terrified. But I'd keep rereading it. At night, in bed, I'd stare at my night stand and, in the glare of my nightlight, wait for a finger to appear.
A fantastic story that I'd love to reread yet again. Anyone anywhere have the title?


There are ten differences in these two images. Can you find them? After you are done, print one out, color it with crayons and hang it on your front door to let Krampus know you appreciate his hard work this season!


As someone who was not a big fan of WRONG TURN 3, I have absolutely no business watching WRONG TURN 4: BLOODY BEGINNINGS and yet I broke down and did just that. I can resist a snowbound horror flick for only so long. Even knowing that Part 4 was directed by the same person who delivered Part 3 could not deter me from plowing ahead. Sure it took me over a year to finally succumb but the only person I was fooling by staying away was myself. I jumped in with the lowest expectations to insure the lowest level of aggravation and my only humble request from this direct-to-DVD sequel was that it delivered snow and people being murdered horribly in said snow. It gave me that.

The best part of WRONG TURN 4 is the opening prologue that depicts the psychotic, inbred troika of hillbillies as young-ins rampaging through a sanatorium. It's kind of like the MUPPET BABIES version of WRONG TURN, and how often do you get to see mutant killers in the halcyon days of their youth? This part of the movie brought back fond memories of THE DEVIL TIMES FIVE, as the trio take down their adult opponents with somewhat hilarious sadistic glee. If only the movie had continued with the killers at this age it might have ended up as something special. Instead we jump into the future and things slide quickly downhill.

Here's where I cast blame on the casting. This has been on my mind a lot lately and probably due to the wonderful people that starred in THE PACT. As much as I can enjoy hating on folks and delighting in their demises, I do have to find them at least somewhat bearable in order to properly get into a film. They can't all be relentless ciphers, which is the case here. I hope it's not because I'm curmudgeonly and resent whippersnappers. I think I just have a problem with a certain level of douch-iness. WRONG TURN 4's douche level is off the charts. I'm not kidding when I say the "monsters" are far easier to relate to than their prey. I found a scene where one of the cannibals is quickly aided by his siblings when he starts choking on a piece of flesh, much more affective then any of the exchanges between the potential victims. Then again, I do favor freaks and the make-up work here is pretty sweet. Perhaps the casting of ONE grounding human presence would have helped but maybe I'm missing the point.

If you want anything resembling artistry, look elsewhere but if you like snow, decapitations and are somewhat soothed by that which is aggressively disposable, here ya go. There are no bragging rights if you hate it. Asking a movie like WRONG TURN 4 to be a good movie is like asking your cat to drive you to the airport. If you happen to be a Cylon and are prone to wanting to erase humanity from existence, this cast will only exasperate those feelings. BUT yes, you do get some cool looking mutants, yes, they do really sick things to the boring people and, yes, they do it in an isolated snow framed setting. Granted the locale could have easily been used to better effect but hey, it's serviceable.

I take full responsibility for my actions. I do not regret watching this cruddy movie nor do I desire those 87 minutes of my life back. I can think of far more horrible fates than sitting on my beloved couch covered in a blanket drinking some something and watching this half-assed sequel that worked my last nerve but at least didn't shy away from being depraved. In a way it was exactly what I needed; something merely watchable as a palate-cleansing break from the films that I care about. Is that wrong? I say trash makes the gold shine brighter! In any case, I liked it better than Part 3. At least it had snow and I'm now confident that I can easily avoid Part 5. Or can I?


Here's my kindertrauma!
I have pretty vivid memories of being so scared by an animated short that I would run and hide under the dining room table whenever it came on… right in the middle of Sesame Street! (or something… this would have been circa 1990 so any show with sketches could have had it… maybe Eureka's Castle?) Of course I never just didn't watch it… what is it about these things where you just have to keep your eyes glued???
Anyway, the sketch was this animated, grumpy-looking kid banging a drum and singing about how lame it was that his baby brother was so cute and got all the attention all the time. At the end of each verse, the kid would start singing about how it would be great if he WASN'T so cute, and wrap up with a wish: "I wish my baby brother had fangs, fangs, FANGS!" And on this line it would show a picture of the baby, which would suddenly have fangs – and on each repetition of the word "fangs" it would zoom in a little closer on the baby's face, and the fangs would get a little bit bigger and grotesque. I remember getting that queasy stomach feeling as soon as the fangs appeared and then really feeling the terror build like a nail in my gut each time the kid yelled FANGS! I guess it was just too intense for my four-year-old brain.
Anyway, I really want to see it but I can't remember which show it was on and I have no way of locating the clip! Does anybody have ANY idea what I'm talking about, or am I Candle Cove-ing this one?
-Lucas


It's a Horror to Know You: John Campopiano of Unearthed & Untold: The Path to Pet Sematary!
1. What is the first film that ever scared you?
Pet Sematary
2. What is the last film that scared you?
Paranormal Activity 3

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.
Pumpkinhead

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch

The Brain (1988)

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.
Rawhead Rex

Rumpelstiltskin

Uncle Sam (William Lustig)

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

It's a Horror to Know You: Frank Browning of The Liberal Dead! (Known Accomplices: Dr. Terror's Blog of Horrors, Freddy In Space, Robocop's Sad Side, Shit Movie Fest, Guts & Grog and Tales from the Batcave)
1. What is the first film that ever scared you?
It's funny that it wasn't even a horror flick per se, but The Terminator ('84) used to scare the life outta me. Specifically the third act. After TerminArnold is burned up in the exploding truck, his endoskeleton is revealed. Made me flip shit when I was a kid. Especially the hallway scene when Sarah and Reese are trying to get into the factory and the stop-motion, limping Terminator is creepily moving toward them. BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! Gives me Chicken-Skin (Goose Bumps) to this very day.

Honorable Mention: Child's Play ('88) was the first actual Horror film that ever frightened me as a kid. I'm sure you get this answer quite a bit, LOL. I still remember the first time I watched it and I hate my cousin to this day for subjecting me to it. I got rid of my Teddy Ruxpin and my Cabbage Patch Doll (it was a boy one) after watching Child's Play. But I made sure and sent them to a good home so they'd be happy and not seek revenge on me in the event they did come back to life. I guess they were pleased with my decision…

2. What is the last film that scared you?
The Fourth Kind ('09). I've always been a "believe it when I see it" type of person and cautiously skeptical when comes to things like Paranormal Beings and/or Aliens but this flick freaked me out. The Juxtaposition of real(?) footage to re-enacted footage really drew me in to the story. I had a terrible time deciding which side of the screen to watch most of the time. What really got me were the voice recordings where the Aliens(?) were talking. It shook me up.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.
Pontypool ('08): Love Love LOVE this movie. I never hear anyone talk about this film. Makes me sad. It just seemed so original and fresh to me. It feels very "Single Set Film" to me and I love that. I watched it for the first time at like 3AM (I must've been lonely) and I was captivated from the start. I think Stephen McHattie is a very talented actor and I've always enjoyed his films. The whole premise of the movie really fascinated me.

My Soul To Take ('10): This was the most fun I've had with a Wes Craven movie in a long time. I like the premise of the film a lot. I love the urban-legend-esque prologue to the movie. It's silly but I also really like the end credit animation and music. It really stuck with me. It's just a fun lil' movie that I think should get a bit more recognition.

Splinter ('08): I thought this was a nice creature feature. I loved how visceral it was. I'd never heard of it before and discovered it on a day fueled by boredom and was very pleasantly surprised. I also really love the cast with Jill Wagner (of Wipeout fame) and Paul Costanzo (of Road Trip). Just a gross and fun time.

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.
Feast ('05): As over the top gross and goofy this movie is, I love it. It's good for a laugh. Surprisingly, I have a special adoration/weird fascination with many members of the cast, LOL. I recognized Balthazar Getty from Judge Dredd ('95), a personal favorite of mine, and was instantly entertained. I straight-up love Henry Rollins. No explanation necessary. Jason Mewes is a psycho (we actually danced together at the Monroeville Mall in Pittsburgh, PA). Krista Allen was the attractive girl that Jim Carrey approaches in the elevator in Liar Liar ('97). Clu Gulager was in the homo-erotic Nightmare on Elm Street and Return of the Living Dead. ‘Nuff said.

Galaxy of Terror ('81): One of the worst ‘Alien' Rip-Offs of all time, the nostalgia factor on this movie goes a long way. I watched it with my dad literally 25 years ago when I was just a wee lad. We struggled for years to remember the name of this movie because we both have terrible memories. Thankfully for the internet, I found the title and was again able to see this treasure once more. It's an awful movie LOL…

Night of the Lepus ('72): The nostalgia factor is also huge with this movie. I watched this movie with my grandmother (who tried to change TV channels with her calculator) every Saturday on TBS for the first 10 years of my life (or so it seemed). There's just something about extreme close-ups of blood covered bunnies running in slo-mo that makes me giggle. Oh! And it has Star Trek's Bones McCoy in it… Need I say more?

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!
The Liberal Dead – Of the fans, by the fans, for the fans. Myself and some very intelligent dudes, that I'm happy to call my friends, all contribute to this site. It's great because you get so many different takes on so many subjects. Be sure to check out our podcasts!
Dr. Terror's Blog of Horror – My Bro, Jimmy Terror, runs this site where he writes your eyes shut into the post apocalypse and prehistory of horror… He has a very fresh and informative view on new horror and a very nostalgia inducing take on classics. He's also a connoisseur of the Giallo Film Genre. Good stuff.
Back online Back on Duty – Another Bro of mine, Eric King, runs this site. While not actually dedicated to horror films, he does cover them intermittently in a very honest and amusing way, usually implementing hilarious and sexually confusing GIFs. You just have to see it.
Freddy in Space – Yet another Bro, John Squires, runs this site where he discusses horror movies in detail. He also reminds us of all the horror related merchandise that once existed, which makes our inner children giggle…
Tales From the Batcave – A good friend of mine, Mitch Reaves, runs this site with his Double-Bacon Genius Burger. He looks at films, games and just about anything else that could interest a person. A good time will be had by all…
PLEASE NOTE: You can find my artwork and/or articles on many of the sites listed.